It’s been almost 8 years since I started my first website. I’ve shared pieces of myself with friends and strangers along the way. I’m always much too aware of the feedback (both positive and negative) that continues to motivate me when all I sometimes want is a vacation from thinking…time away from the flashing cursor on a blank page. Ever notice the cursor flashes at almost the same rate your heart beats?

There is incredible joy in having a voice to share. When I have a single thought that can connect with a complete stranger, I feel reassurance and boosted confidence that I am doing fine with my work. There’s also anxiety when the ideas don’t come flowing. It’s a combination of panic and wondering what if only I had simply chosen a different career.

Then I press that down and continue. I compare it to how I envision Tiger Woods before he takes a swing. There’s the distractions of the crowds of people watching. Stray thoughts here and there. He can hear his heart beating and he presses it all down. It becomes quiet and he’s in the zone…then swings.

Success for me is filling the blank space. Each fresh page is a new adventure. The productivity comes from competing with myself and seeing potential in every sentence to go beyond the confines of the screen to reach even a single person. The struggle I feel as I face that insatiable flashing cursor and complete the first sentence is like overcoming my fears. I take a step into the unknown, walk slowly and often blindly, and simply have faith that I won’t fall flat on my face. Then the sense of victory and accomplishment that occurs when I am done is what presses me to continue and start yet another blank page.

I used to measure success by the number of readers or the money that I was making. Now it’s in meeting deadline after deadline. The deadlines always arrive so quickly that I don’t really have time to look back at what I’ve done and think much about it. I don’t know how I do it either. I can only say it doesn’t come easy, yet somehow in the last hour, I meet the deadline and accomplishment, pride, and adrenaline rushes in. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t
question my ability to produce something that I’m proud of on a daily basis for years. It takes an incredible amount of discipline.

I know there will come a day when my site doesn’t come up on the first page of google for the keyword frugal and that keeps me humble. I’m not the first one to write about frugality and I won’t be the last, but for as long as I have a voice, I’ll continue to share and try to be the best I can for myself and for my readers.

Robyn mentioned me on the topic of tips and productivity a while back and I wrote up something masterful (HA!) and then lost it. I discussed Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs and McClelland’s Learned Needs. Ya know, psycho babble. I couldn’t recreate what I wrote if I tried, so I started fresh and this is why I am sharing all of this. (albeit more than fashionably late to the party) Basically, for me productivity happens because I have a deep desire to finish what I start and to push myself further than I initially think is possible. I also have my own personal demons and giants that I face and squash with each completed page. I suppose in a way I’m an ego maniac too, so a little recognition goes a long way.

I’ve noticed my productivity is increased when I admire/respect the person I’m working for too. It’s a never-ending process of seeing potential and wanting to meet it and exceed it. It comes from within. The reward is accomplishment. The clock is always ticking…cursor always flashing and what I want more than finishing the page is to offer my readers hope. I want to reach through the page and continually say I believe in you, you’re not alone, and everything will be OK. Let’s laugh a little, think a little, and simply experience and live because the deadline of the day, the page, and of life is always going to be there. It’s waiting and what else can you do but love every moment?

You’ve got to earn what you want and that takes a deep desire to do so. Don’t just sit there. Do it. If you really want it, you’ve got to pour your heart into it. It becomes a priority and you’ve got to want it more than the fear of the risk if you fail. You are capable of greatness. You can accomplish your goals and dreams, but you have to do something and be productive to get there. All the wishing and wanting isn’t enough. You have to own it and believe the possibilities are endless. You have to trust yourself to take that leap…and there is a leap to take.

Enjoy the ride.

And for those that love quotes…

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

and the beat goes on ~ Eminem

Thanks Robyn for thinking of me.

If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!