photo by kwankwan

DEAR SARA: I want to lighten my purse load. I got a backache from my purse this week. So I am trying to think of ways to streamline what I am carrying. What do you carry that is light? — Mumzy, via forums

DEAR MUMZY: I don’t carry a purse. I haven’t carried one in several years. I have a credit-card holder that I use as a wallet. It carries all of my important cards. I no longer worry about a purse that could be lost or stolen, and I have discovered I don’t need all the items I used to haul around. I have a small tote bag that I sometimes pack in my car with handy items, such as baby wipes, snacks, sunscreen, pen, checkbook, pain reliever, facial tissue and a hairbrush.

DEAR SARA: My kids are adolescents and in early adulthood now. I have a lot of stuff stored. Some of these things they don’t seem to care about, and others I feel are still useful. We have two row homes, and one of them is absolutely empty, so we are using it for storage. When I ask the kids what should I do with this or that, the answer is always the same — do whatever. Should I give it away or throw it out? Later, they may accuse me of discarding some important treasure. I’m open to suggestions. — Greenboy, via e-mail

DEAR GREENBOY: I’d give the older children all of their belongings, and they can decide what to do. You could also give them fair warning and set a deadline for them to sort through their stuff. If they miss the deadline, discard the items. For the younger children, I’d have them sit with you and decide what they want to keep, sell, donate or toss. Box up and store whatever’s left if it can’t be used regularly. This should pare things down. Giving your children fair warning is significantly different from the “mean parent” who simply discards belongings without warning. You’re teaching them to be responsible. I grew up with the threat that anything not picked up and organized would be sent to children who appreciated the items. My mother had to donate them only once for me to understand she meant business. It’s not an accident that I’m an organized adult. Good luck.

DEAR SARA: I need help organizing my life. I am now a stay-at-home mom with a 4-month-old son, and even though (on good days) I have enough time to get things done, I can’t seem to complete the tasks at hand. I can get dinner cooked and keep the kitchen clean, but other than that everything is so-so. I just don’t know how to get it all organized. Do you have certain things you do every day of the week? I feel so scattered! — Daphne, Virginia

DEAR DAPHNE: With four children, I have learned to accept less than perfection when it comes to my home. I decided to focus on what truly matters to me. I’ve also learned to ask for help. You’re a new mom, so although it seems you have enough time, my guess is that you’re busy caring for your baby. You probably start one task that used to take 10 minutes before the baby, and now it takes longer. When you finally get time to start or finish a task, you most likely are fighting whether to rest or face the millions of things you have to do. It’s easy to get overwhelmed.

I try to do my housework first thing in the morning and last thing before bed, and I break tasks into five- to 10-minute slots of time throughout the day. It helps to make a list of priorities for your housework and stick with a routine. Take care, and don’t be too hard on yourself. The moments you’re spending with your little one are precious. Dust bunnies can wait.

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