Slow down your life
photo by multitrack
There aren’t enough hours in the day. I can always find one more thing to do before going to bed, and I try to squeeze in extra tasks each day to make the following day more manageable. I’m not alone. Many people have mile-long to-do lists that don’t include making time for things that really matter to them, let alone things that bring connectedness and joy.
I realized my life was moving too fast when I started to view activities such as watching a movie, reading a book or a day at the beach as unproductive. My husband would urge me to relax, and I would get agitated, as if it were impossible. I always had things to do. I coasted along with my active schedule and occasional outbursts of irritability until I noticed how often I said “in a minute” and “maybe tomorrow” to my family. I knew my need to get things done wasn’t going to change, but it was time to re-evaluate my choices. You can’t get time back, but it’s not too late to start a new and improved to-do list.
REFLECT: Think about how you feel. If you’re like I was, where your legs are moving even when you’re sitting, or you wake up in the middle of the night thinking you’re in the car driving or running late, it’s time to slow down. Understand that the busier you are, the more likely you are to lose sleep and feel stressed. In time, you’ll find that it becomes easier to get stressed, and a lack of sleep makes you less productive. Being busy shouldn’t be something to brag about. Awareness of your true feelings is the beginning of making changes.
SIMPLIFY: What can you eliminate from your day or week? Can you cut something low priority from your to-do list? Also, there’s a vicious cycle of working harder and faster in order to buy more stuff. Frugality teaches you to use less and want less. Does it make sense to work longer for things you don’t have time to use or enjoy? Don’t feel guilty about doing absolutely nothing, or something enjoyable that’s slower-paced. It can be a tough transition, but soon that reclaimed time is going to help create balance and feed your happiness.
SHARE: Tell the people in your life about the changes you want to make so they can support you. Give yourself and others permission to take time off. You might discover they’ve wanted to simplify their lives, too.
ACCEPT: You fully control what is on your list. It’s OK if you don’t accomplish it all. Your life doesn’t have to be as busy as you make it. You can’t beat the clock.
LEARN: Read books and Web sites about the Slow Movement (www.slowmovement.com) and voluntary simplicity (www.simpleliving.net/main) for more information to help you slow down. Of course, I’m not implying you quit your job or shrug off responsibilities for an afternoon of cloud gazing, but learn to put yourself and your family on your to-do list. Try talking more slowly and listening more. Paying yourself first is a concept that relates to both money and time.
Posted by Sara Noel
on April 5 2008. Filed under Frugal & simple living, Home & family.Sara Noel owns Frugal Village, LLC and is a nationally syndicated columnist with Universal Uclick. Bio, Follow me on Twitter, Join us on Facebook
You have great ideas here. I realize it’s hard to slow down sometimes. There are days when I feel I need to get a million things done, and I get frustrated when I dont make progress. The “Accept” idea you have above hits home most with me: I choose whats on my list. Knowing that makes all the difference!
Tim
1TheMoneyKings.com
Sara, This is so right on the money for my life. I am a multitasker by nature and feel as though if I’m not busy, then I must be lazy. Granted, there is a lot that needs to get done in my life, however, if I don’t start taking care of myself, I’ll have nothing left to give to anyone else! I’ll be taking these suggestions seriously as I look at making some changes in my life in the days ahead.
2Sarah, well written but who slows down nowadays? Everyone is running after something – God knows what! Slowing down really is required to balance the body metabolism.
3This is totally where I am at right now. In fact, I need to turn off the computer right now and go to bed! Definitely a lot of food for thought here, though, thank you!
4Hi Sara,
My newspaper carries your column and I’ve been reading it for a few weeks now. I want to commend you on your efforts to make more people see the light! I’m in my late forties, and have been living what you write pretty much since I got married over 26 years ago. We had very little money when we first married, and then we moved to New York state (near Poughkeepsie) with a ten-week-old baby and a strong conviction that babies do better if they spend their time with their mothers. I have been a stay-at-home mom ever since, to that child and the three that followed. Our youngest is now 15 but I still have no outside job; instead I make our home work and homeschool our son.
I get very frustrated when I hear people complain that you just can’t survive on one income these days. It wasn’t easy when we did it either, but we made a commitment and we were willing to sacrifice to make the commitment work. I think what many people are not willing to do is make the sacrifices, because they think that means also sacrificing contentment and happiness, which we have found to be untrue. We have always been pretty content with our situation, even when money was really tight, and we learned to make do and live abundantly in spite of (or maybe because of) living frugally.
I especially liked this column about slowing down and taking time to do nothing once in a while. I think it was when we had our third child in five years that I finally realized that my body could not keep going at top speed all day, and I started living by the following principle: If it isn’t done by noon, it’s not getting done today. Those little words helped me become sane. Our third child was a rotten sleeper and I was often trying to put in a full day of activity, child-rearing and housework on just a few hours of good sleep. When the fourth one came along, this was a well-established habit for me and as a result the fourth child caused barely a ripple.
Obviously I don’t live by this mantra anymore – I can’t! But I still believe strongly that everyone needs downtime and to go without it will eventually cause emotional, physical and spiritual decline. It concerns me when parents have their children enrolled in eight after-school activities – those kids are going to grow up nervous wrecks.
Thanks for reading! and thanks for the effort to help people live more sensibly.
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