photo by jurvetson

DEAR SARA: I need an idea for cheap spring party gifts for my daughter’s classroom friends. There are 28 kids in the class, and they are in kindergarten. I want to send in something different from the standard homemade cupcakes. I’m looking for something more fun. Ideas? How can I keep it low cost? — Candace, Maine

DEAR CANDACE: Kids that age are easy to please, so you’re in luck. You can opt out from giving the standard goodie bags filled with toys and novelties and simply give a small box of crayons, punch balloons, bookmarks, play dough, flower seeds, bubbles or a box of animal crackers. Doughnuts can be a fun surprise. Buy all the same type to avoid fighting. There will be plenty of other goodies because it’s a classroom party, so don’t worry too much about looking cheap.

DEAR SARA: My mother-in-law consistently buys my kids used gifts for holidays. My kids are disappointed, and I’m mad. It’s as if she doesn’t care enough to get them something new. She can afford to buy new but doesn’t. How do I handle this? I’m all for frugal, but this is downright cheap to me. — Sandra, via e-mail

DEAR SANDRA: Uh-oh. You’re asking the wrong person this question. I give my kids secondhand gifts all the time. Occasionally, I’ll even go as far as not wrapping them. My kids love garage-sale items equally if not more than new gifts. It seems you want to hear she’s not thoughtful and being cheap, and maybe she is. But from what you’ve shared, she’s one smart cookie.

My concern is that your kids are disappointed. Since you can’t control what she does, try to change your thoughts about it. Your kids will pick up on your reaction, so show that you’re thankful for her kindness. If it’s not possible for you or them to appreciate pre-owned gifts, consider donating them and teaching that it’s better to give than to receive. Another option is selling them in your own garage sale or online and teaching your kids money lessons. Most important, there shouldn’t be any expectations attached to receiving gifts. Try not to judge what other people give. Last I checked, grandmas are known for giving some funny gifts.

DEAR SARA: I’m jealous of my friend. I’m dating a wonderful man. He’s doing well financially, but he’s a tightwad! I watch my friend, who is spoiled rotten by her husband. I wish my boyfriend would spoil me. He takes me on cheap dates. He’s already complaining about the cost of our wedding. Is it me? I’ve been divorced for four years, and my “Spidey sense” is tingling. — Donna, via e-mail

DEAR DONNA: Don’t compare yourself to your friend. While I would usually suggest that you adjust your views on love and money, you are the one who will have to live with him. If it’s causing you unhappiness now, don’t expect that he’ll change after marriage. Ask him why he’s frugal. Then you can decide whether he’s pinching pennies for a goal or is simply a cheapskate. Another thing to consider is whether he expects you to be a tightwad, too. The time to talk about money is now. Sit down and discuss your credit reports, debts, financial goals and whether you’re going to have joint or separate bank accounts. You can talk about gift and vacation spending, insurances and a breakdown of how the bills will be paid and who will handle the household budget.

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