photo by ppdigital

During my frugal journey, I learned that simplifying and decluttering were the keys to being better organized. It’s easier to keep a home neat and tidy when there’s not a lot of stuff in it. Being the perfectionist that I am, I became a minimalist. I used to pride myself on having a spotless and near-sterile home. I once read the wisdom of older women claiming that they would rather have a messy home and spend time with family than spend their time cleaning. I rolled my eyes thinking that it didn’t take long to keep things orderly. What did they know?

A friend shared with me how she was overwhelmed with housework. She had two young children and said that between toys and papers from school, she could never get ahead. Again, I thought, come on now. Just address these issues immediately, and it’s not a problem. Surely, she must not be managing her time wisely, I thought.

I’d spend 15 minutes cleaning, a few times a day, and it was smooth sailing. Martha taught me useful tidbits like how often to flip my mattress, how to care for my broom and how to craft lacey luminarias. Did you know you should never place your broom with the bristles resting on the floor?

Then I had my third child, and life as I knew it changed. It’s not that I don’t love discovering and applying life tips, because I do. I offer practical strategies to readers and experiment with and implement new home solutions on a regular basis, but what I don’t need is guilt if I don’t take the time to fold a sheet properly, learn napkin folding 101 or, horror upon horrors, don’t make homemade tricolored pasta.

I wax nostalgic as I glance through glossy magazines and remember the “old me,” but my new motto is “dust happens.” Real moms step on Legos. We fight the laundry monster, the garden has weeds, our homes have crumbs and there are never enough hours in the day. Our families count on us. We have this incredible opportunity to leave a legacy of love. So, while decorating the perfect home in the latest color palette and organizing your life into cute compartments is admirable, it’s hardly soulful. It lacks depth and doesn’t add anything of true substance or value, does it? Somehow, I think I’ll live a full life without knowing how to choose the right duster or how to embellish my bath towels. My kids will still grow up well-adjusted if the utensils aren’t perfectly aligned in the drawer.

What greater gift can you give your family than to share your time? I’m not suggesting you live in chaos, but make time for what truly matters. Set aside the label maker and step away from the fabric-lined baskets once in a while. It’s not too late to escape from Supermom Island. I did. Martha doesn’t live here anymore. My family does. You won’t find guest slippers in my entryway. It’s even OK to keep your shoes on when you visit. After all, you might step on a Lego.

To set the record straight, laundry should be sorted. There’s the “right” way to decide what needs to be hung up rather than folded, too. And for those households in which the men haven’t touched a pair of dirty socks in over a decade — that doesn’t happen over here without a laundry strike. Yes, I stoop that low. I’ve been known to place the hamper strategically on his side of the bed so he can’t miss it. All is fair in love and laundry.

SORTING: Sort by weight (fabric types such as denim, terry, knits, fleece, flannel, wool, etc.) and then by color (whites, lights, brights and darks). If an article of clothing says “wash separately,” it can often be washed with like colors. Sort out heavily soiled or stained clothing to prevent discoloration of other clothes. Sort by size so you have a balanced load. You want the agitator to work and spin well, so don’t overload. Sort fabrics by required water temperature, too.

TEMPERATURES: Hot water is used for whites, colorfast light-colored fabrics and clothing that has stains, unless you’re using an enzyme detergent such as Tide or Clorox cold-water bleach, which perform well in lower temperatures. Warm water is used for most clothing, such as permanent-press items, colorfast brights and polyester. Cold is for darks and bright colors, delicates and wools. According to Science Daily, researchers found washing in hot water killed all dust mites, compared to 6.5 percent when washing in warm water. Hot water was found to be more effective on dog dander and pollen, too. Washing in warm water with a double cold-rinse cycle was suggested as an effective alternative. Keep in mind, however, that many detergents perform best in higher temperatures. Read your clothing’s care labels for washing and drying instructions.

HANGING VS. FOLDING: Sweaters, T-shirts and casual knits should be folded to prevent stretching. If you prefer hanging T-shirts to avoid crease marks, avoid wire hangers and remove the hanger from the bottom so you don’t stretch the neck. If you hang sweaters, fold them in half lengthwise and drape them over the base of a hanger. Jeans can be folded. Casual pants and dress pants should be hung from felt-lined clamps, clip hangers or trouser-bar hangers. Dress shirts, blouses, skirts and dresses in fabrics such as rayons, silks and cottons should be hung to avoid wrinkles. Use padded hangers for dress clothes and delicates so they don’t slip. Blankets can be stored on hangers to take up less space. Invest in wooden hangers for your nicer clothing.

Are you going stir-crazy waiting for spring? Bring on the sunshine, cue the butterflies and give me the sweet scent of hyacinth. I’m done with short days, heating bills, gray skies and cold and flu. I enjoy the four seasons, but sometimes winter is too long. It’s not surprising that some people experience the winter blues. Don’t bottle your feelings up. Make some positive changes. Here are a few blah-busting tips to help you feel alive. Before you know it, it’ll be spring.

GET OUTSIDE: It’s way too easy to make excuses for not getting outdoors during winter. A simple walk outside can make a huge difference in how you feel. At the very least, open the blinds and let the light shine through. If you can, plan a vacation during winter to break up the season. Even if it’s a drive, get outside and breathe in the air and absorb the light. It’s a great time to feed winter birds. If you have snow, look for a place to go snowshoeing, ice-skating or sledding. It’s a great season to grab your camera and take some scenic pictures.

EXERCISE: If you’re not into winter sports, there are plenty of exercises you can do inside. Try an exercise video for even 20 minutes a day, and I guarantee you’ll feel rejuvenated. You have an opportunity to take that spin or yoga class or go swimming. Plenty of time to get in shape before summer.

EAT WELL: Break out the recipes you’ve been meaning to try. It’s the perfect time to enjoy comfort foods, too. Nutritious foods and balanced meals combined with rest and exercise are going to help you feel good. If you don’t usually take vitamins, try it. Vitamin D can help.

ADD COLOR: Add colorful decorative accents such as pillows, towels and place mats to freshen and liven up your indoor space. It’s amazing what fresh flowers, fruit and tropical plants can do to improve your mood. Colorful candles and reed diffusers with fresh scents can lift your spirits, too.

MUSIC: Curl up with a book and some feel-good music. Is there music you haven’t listened to in years? Now is a great time to play it. Sit next to a window. Pamper yourself. Break out the moisturizer to soothe dry skin and simply relax.

WATCH MOVIES OR TELEVISION: Grab a comedy and laugh, or watch programs that focus on the outdoors. Gardening shows can inspire you, and it’s not too early to order seeds and get a jump start on your garden with winter sowing. For more information, check out www.wintersown.org.

TAKE A CLASS: If you’ve been thinking about taking a class like cake decorating, knitting or learning a foreign language, do it. Get out and and interact with other people.

Time passes quickly. The days become weeks, and the weeks become years. Have you ever thought back to the dreams you once had? If you set aside your dreams for your list of a million-other-things and decided to wait for your turn or for the planets to align, part of you probably feels you haven’t been true to yourself. No one else is going to be disappointed if you don’t accomplish your goals; this is your own promise to yourself.

Maybe you learned to let go of some of them and create new dreams. But it’s possible there is one promise you made to yourself that you can’t abandon. Some dreams feel like a dull ache that surfaces from time to time. That ache serves as a reminder that there’s still time to pursue them. They can’t be ignored forever. So whether your promise is to open a business, continue your education, write a book or give back to your roots, the time to do something about it is now.

Through the years, my readers have shared their hopes and dreams with me. Most of their goals aren’t far-fetched, yet fear, lack of savings and everyday life often stand in the way. They think their dreams won’t ever become reality, or they are stuck on where to start so they don’t start at all. I want you to get started.

MAP IT OUT: Make a list of short-term and long-term goals. Be as specific as possible. What action can you take today toward your goal? Do you know what information or knowledge you need? Can you make some phone calls? Do research online or at the library? Take a class? Do it. Seeing it written down will bring life to your goal, and taking even a baby step is going to energize you.

KNOW WHAT BLOCKS YOU: Fully grasp what blocks your progress. Think of ways to clear the hurdles. If it’s lack of time, then your short-term goal can be to manage your time better so it’s no longer an issue. If it’s lack of money, then your goal can be to start saving. Frugality can help with that. If it’s fear, it’s time to confront what frightens you. The important part is planning for roadblocks that can get in the way — whether they are put there by yourself or others.

VISUALIZE ACCOMPLISHMENT: Believe in your dream. Picture it in your mind. Express your commitment to your promise. You really have to want it and choose it to achieve it. Start by making small promises on a regular basis to gain confidence.

CREATE A DEADLINE: Equally important as getting started is setting a deadline for your goal. This will prevent procrastination and will help you stay committed. If you think it’s going to take years, then set up mini-objectives and deadlines. Reward yourself when you hit milestones. Be determined and regularly make the time to work toward your goal. No one said it would be easy, but take the words “I can’t” out of the picture. Replace them with “I promise to,” and be specific.

Check on your progress and be prepared for compromise or changes. You might decide you need more or less time, or that you need to change direction. You owe it to yourself to try to fulfill the promise you intended to keep when you made it. Are you ready? Pay off that debt!

Getting hooked on birding
Attracting various species isn’t difficult. You simply supply adequate food, water and shelter. If you want to become an avid enthusiast, you can photograph birds, provide nesting areas, grow specialized plants, learn more about specific birds, join or start a birding club, and keep a bird journal.

If you take the hobby route, you’ll soon discover that bird events often include trips to stalk specific or more elusive and rare birds. It’s extremely rewarding to identify a bird you’ve never seen before. Bird events can be found throughout the world and frequently offer various fun activities such as boating, hiking, photo contests, workshops, book signings, exhibits, and keynote speakers too.

You don’t have to leave home to observe wild birds because your own backyard can attract many, but it’s a lot more fun to venture out on a birding trip. One frugal trip can be to Chippewa Nature Center. If you don’t have a field guide or binoculars, they loan backpacks that have the basic gear you’ll need for a day of fun. They have a handy printable bird checklist too. http://www.chippewanaturecenter.com/checklists/Bird%20Checklist.pdf
Upcoming CNC activities include watching and learning about bird banding on 7/26/07 Thursday 8:00 am – 12:00 pm and an early bird hike on 8/8/07 Wednesday 7:00 – 10:00 am

Family fun at home
You can make homemade feeders, birdbaths and suet inexpensively. Feeders can be constructed with an empty plastic milk jug, aluminum can, or 2 liter pop bottle with an opening cut out.

An easy birdbath can be created from a large sized (16” or larger) clay pot and saucer. Spray with clear acrylic sealing spray. (You may be able to locate a waterproof saucer) Turn the claypot upside down and use the saucer to hold water. Get creative and stack varying sized clay pots (ie. 10″,12″, and 14″ clay pots and 17″ diameter clay saucer ) and decorate it with paint, decals or mosaic tiles. If stacking pots, you’ll want to use silicone adhesive to assemble.

For homemade suet, you can save your bacon grease and melt it in a saucepan. Add some unsalted peanuts, a few tablespoons of peanut butter, sunflower seeds, corn meal, oat meal, flour, honey, and raisins. You can pour this mix into a baking pan and refrigerate until hardened. Then simply cut into cakes to fill a suet feeder or make your own by smearing it on pine cones or place the homemade suet in an empty juice can. Visit http://www.birdnature.com/log.html to see a log suet feeder project. The best location for your homemade suet is in the shade and sheltered from weather such as rain, snow, and high heat.

Introductory reading
If you’re looking for a beginner’s field guide, I suggest “Stokes Beginner’s Guide to Birds: Eastern Region” by Donald and Lillian Stokes, Little, Brown and Company; 1st ed edition (October 1, 1996) It contains beautiful pictures and is well organized by color, so it’s not overwhelming for children and beginners. Once you’ve learned the basics, I suggest upgrading to a more detailed guide that shares shapes, sizes, posture, markings, such as Sibley or Kaufman field guides.

Learn more and network
If interested in learning more about birdwatching and meeting fellow enthusiasts, you can contact the following places to get started:

Michigan Audubon Society
6011 West St. Joseph Hwy
Suite 403
Lansing, MI 48717
517-886-9144
Fax 517-886-9466
http://www.michiganaudubon.org/

Midland Nature Club
Meet monthly at Washington Woods, Midland
Contact Janea Little, Senior Naturalist at CNC 989-631-0830

Garden for wildlife and create a backyard wildlife habitat
http://www.nwf.org/backyard/index.cfm

Meet a birding pal
http://www.birdingpal.org/mi.htm

American Birding Association
http://www.americanbirding.org/

There is incredible joy in having a voice to share. When I have a single thought that can connect with a complete stranger, I feel reassurance and boosted confidence that I am doing fine with my work. There’s also anxiety when the ideas don’t come flowing. It’s a combination of panic and wondering what if only I had simply chosen a different career.

Then I press that down and continue. I compare it to how I envision Tiger Woods before he takes a swing. There’s the distractions of the crowds of people watching. Stray thoughts here and there. He can hear his heart beating and he presses it all down. It becomes quiet and he’s in the zone…then swings.

Success for me is filling the blank space. Each fresh page is a new adventure. The productivity comes from competing with myself and seeing potential in every sentence to go beyond the confines of the screen to reach even a single person. The struggle I feel as I face that insatiable flashing cursor and complete the first sentence is like overcoming my fears. I take a step into the unknown, walk slowly and often blindly, and simply have faith that I won’t fall flat on my face. Then the sense of victory and accomplishment that occurs when I am done is what presses me to continue and start yet another blank page.

I used to measure success by the number of readers or the money that I was making. Now it’s in meeting deadline after deadline. The deadlines always arrive so quickly that I don’t really have time to look back at what I’ve done and think much about it. I don’t know how I do it either. I can only say it doesn’t come easy, yet somehow in the last hour, I meet the deadline and accomplishment, pride, and adrenaline rushes in. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t
question my ability to produce something that I’m proud of on a daily basis for years. It takes an incredible amount of discipline.

I know there will come a day when my site doesn’t come up on the first page of google for the keyword frugal and that keeps me humble. I’m not the first one to write about frugality and I won’t be the last, but for as long as I have a voice, I’ll continue to share and try to be the best I can for myself and for my readers.

Robyn mentioned me on the topic of tips and productivity a while back and I wrote up something masterful (HA!) and then lost it. I discussed Maslow’s Heirarchy of Needs and McClelland’s Learned Needs. Ya know, psycho babble. I couldn’t recreate what I wrote if I tried, so I started fresh and this is why I am sharing all of this. (albeit more than fashionably late to the party) Basically, for me productivity happens because I have a deep desire to finish what I start and to push myself further than I initially think is possible. I also have my own personal demons and giants that I face and squash with each completed page. I suppose in a way I’m an ego maniac too, so a little recognition goes a long way.

I’ve noticed my productivity is increased when I admire/respect the person I’m working for too. It’s a never-ending process of seeing potential and wanting to meet it and exceed it. It comes from within. The reward is accomplishment. The clock is always ticking…cursor always flashing and what I want more than finishing the page is to offer my readers hope. I want to reach through the page and continually say I believe in you, you’re not alone, and everything will be OK. Let’s laugh a little, think a little, and simply experience and live because the deadline of the day, the page, and of life is always going to be there. It’s waiting and what else can you do but love every moment?

You’ve got to earn what you want and that takes a deep desire to do so. Don’t just sit there. Do it. If you really want it, you’ve got to pour your heart into it. It becomes a priority and you’ve got to want it more than the fear of the risk if you fail. You are capable of greatness. You can accomplish your goals and dreams, but you have to do something and be productive to get there. All the wishing and wanting isn’t enough. You have to own it and believe the possibilities are endless. You have to trust yourself to take that leap…and there is a leap to take.

Enjoy the ride.

And for those that love quotes…

Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

You better lose yourself in the music, the moment
You own it, you better never let it go
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
This opportunity comes once in a lifetime yo

and the beat goes on ~ Eminem

Thanks Robyn for thinking of me.

Five years ago, I started my first blog. All I wrote on my first entry was “So I always know…” It serves as a reminder to me of the day I zigged instead of zagged. I made a choice that day and wanted to never forget that where I am and where I’m from are days upon days of making choices and decisions. Sometimes stumbling and often times doing and saying things that aren’t always in my best interest, but learning and growing all the while. (and loving myself)

I used to be more daring. I’ve mellowed through the years. I laugh less and take life too seriously at times. I’m always working on that. In my youth, I vowed I wouldn’t change and wouldn’t let “the system” change me. As a teen I loved the punk scene. I won’t get into all the reasons because that’s unimportant, but there’s a song that I liked by The Dead Kennedys titled “Life Sentence.” Part of the lyrics say:

“No sense of humor
But such good manners
Now you’re an adult
You’re boring

Are you really you you you
You you you you you you
Are you really you?
No”

This is a far cry from Carly Simon’s “Coming Around Again” lyrics that say:

“Baby sneezes
Mommy pleases
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
So romantic
So bewildering
I know nothin’ stays the same
But if you’re willin’ to play the game
It will be comin’ around again”

Yet somehow I can relate to both.

My point is, I’m working on my “something more.” Some people are fortunate, they find their groove early on and all the little puzzle pieces fit perfectly and some people are simply content with the status quo. I was the one pushing my dreams down and working toward comfort and stability. I would often challenge myself, but those challenges were still within a comfort zone of what I knew I would succeed at or at the very least, I wouldn’t fail miserably. I took risks here and there, but would return to structure.

Like many, my life was becoming a spectator sport in the sense of instead of living, doing, and exploring, I was simply watching from the sidelines. Maybe you’re like I am, an adventurer at heart and you know when you can’t just sit and watch anymore. When you realize some alternatives will serve a greater purpose and be more fulfilling.

I’m sure you’ve noticed my absence from blogging. I’ve been busy, but it’s also because some of my routines have worn out their purpose. I’ve been intentionally avoiding it and doing silly things like crossword puzzles and making jello instead. Then of course I’m working. I’m especially working on being more daring. I’m in training for my “something more.” I’m stretching beyond my usual routines because I need to. It’s easy to do the predictable, isn’t it? In a nutshell, my life was getting smaller and it was impacting who I am and where I want to go.

What I’m trying to say and I think a lot of my women readers will relate to this…It’s my turn. The dream is here and the dream is now. It’s finally my turn. It’s so profound that I’m left with so what do I do now? I know what I could do. I could keep it safe and comfortable like I have been, but that’s not what I want to do. Not this time. This isn’t about my husband, my kids, my family…this is about me. Goodbye safe harbor.

There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. ~Anaïs Nin

Creative Togetherness

I prefer our meals to be at the dining room table with all family members present, but let’s face it, that’s not realistic every single day. As an example, some evenings my husband has evening classes. To bring order to this change in our routine, I have named those days “Crazy Days”. On Crazy Thursday we all still sit at the table minus dad, but we have less formal dinners. We might have leftovers, sandwiches, or breakfast for dinner on that evening. The point is one less family member is not going to impact the togetherness of those members that are still home.

Another example, when schedules are tight or we’re just plain tired, I’m flexible on making a home cooked meal. We’ll opt for a picnic at the park versus a meal at home in order to be together. Location isn’t as important as the time spent together. Simply make the most of the opportunities that you do have. If you can’t be together at dinner, why not try breakfast? Even an evening snack together is an opportunity to be together. Don’t lose these moments to connect.

Staying Connected

Our meal times together are when we discuss our days. Sometimes our children don’t have much to share, but we try to motivate them to share any tidbit. One way of encouraging them to talk is by playing “High and Low”. We ask them the best part of their day and the worst part of their day. This is never the time for heavy topics or family meetings. As parents, we have so few times to connect with our children in a fun and positive way. This is one way we carve out the time.

Consistent and positive moments together lead to lasting trust and to strengthening the family. It provides a safe haven of comfort for children. They learn that this is a time they can share and have the full attention from their parents. It’s being available to our children and to our spouse. It’s family unity and is sadly becoming a lost ritual.

Our children are young, but we’ve already been able to weave in many important discussions such as bullying, friendships, peer pressure, and manners without it seeming like a lecture. In my opinion, as a parent and wife, it’s one way that I can show how much I care.

Ok. Maybe my kids will be chess champs and not sports stars because I opt to insist on this time together over shuttling them to other activities at the dinner hour, but somehow I think it’ll all work out fine with “Team Noel”. It’s my sacred time and I’m not giving it up. The chicken might be dry, but my family will know I value spending time with them.

Eating together matters. Each person receives the message YOU are important. YOU belong. YOU are valued. YOU are loved. It should be a priority.

Is it for you?

If interested in exploring more on the topic of eating together and communication, I recommend reading “The Surprising Power of Family Meals: How Eating Together Makes Us Smarter, Stronger, Healthier and Happier” by Miriam Weinstein (Steer Forth Press, 2005), “201
Questions to Ask Your Kids” by Pepper Schwartz (Collins, 2000), “Table Topics Conversation Cards-Family Edition” by Table Topics, and “Food for Talk: Bringing Families Together One Conversation at a Time” by Julienne Smith (Running Press, 2006)

As seen in Midland Daily News

What is The American Dream to you?

I suppose I had always viewed it as cliche or upon deeper thought perhaps about freedom and opportunity, but to my mother who immigrated here, it’s more about living a life better than she did. She views our home, our “success”, our family, and the capacity to achieve our hopes and dreams as a gift.

At any rate, what she said stuck with me. Most especially in the past few weeks, as I truly have come to realize how fortunate I am to experience many of my dreams coming true. It has shaken me up and humbled me.

Complete with the white picket fence and against all odds…I’m happy beyond words.

Hold fast to dreams,
For if dreams die,
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly. ~Langston Hughes

What about making an extra effort with planning and additional special finishing touches? It’s your thoughtful attention to detail that your guests will appreciate and fondly remember.

Plan Ahead

Being flexible is vital when hosting houseguests, but there are a few tidbits of information you should make clear before you accept guests into your home, for an extended visit. Not only is it important to know when your guests are arriving, but it’s equally important to know when they are leaving. Don’t fall into the trap of open ended visits.

You’ll also want to be clear on issues, such as whether they can bring pets, your rules on smoking, sleeping arrangements, and your schedule. Is there anything worse than greeting your houseguest at the door and seeing a cat that you’re allergic to? How about fixing a nice meal their first night in town and then being told, they had plans elsewhere? Let’s face it, no one wants to feel taken advantage of, disappointed, or disrespected by their guests, but at the same time, you want to be a gracious host.

Keep in mind that this is your home and they are guests. The more communicative you are prior to their arrival, the more smoothly the visit will go. Do not expect guests to have the same etiquette that you have. It’s often presumptions and expectations that lead to disaster and hurt feelings. Addressing these details ahead of time, allows you to fully embrace their visit without any friction.

Prepare Immediate Family

Communicate plans to your immediate family. Inform them what the sleeping arrangements are, so there aren’t any surprises. This gives your immediate family members an opporunity to safeguard their possessions too. Inform family that the space your guests are using is their temporary private space, so they’ll want to retrieve any items they might need, prior to the guests arriving. You’ll want to remind your children of your behavorial expectations too.

Being Gracious

You want to be the “hostess of the mostest”. You’ve envisioned hotel accomodations and amenities and have attempted to replicate it for your guests. To accomplish anticipating their needs, you can try spending a night where your guests will be sleeping to see if it’s comfortable.

Here’s a handy checklist of thoughtful tips and ideas you may not have considered to offer:

*books/magazines/newspaper
*water bottles
*snacks
*pillows
*bath and beauty items such as toothbrush, hairdryer, shampoo, toilet paper, sanitary napkins, facial tissue, razors, hairbrushes/combs.
*candles
*music
*slipper basket
*puzzle books
*dresser space and closet space with spare hangers
*spare blankets
*phone
*stationery
*internet connection
*mini fridge
*coffee maker
*tv
*have a game plan, but don’t overschedule or force routines. Can offer things to do and local events, gc’s to movie theater or local restaurant
*let them help
*give gift items
*give them a tour of your city and a map
*place to set their luggage
*chairs other than the bed
*nightlights
*iron
*remove breakables
*first aid kit and over the counter medications
*spare key
*alarm clock

If with children:

*beanbags or nap mats for when they get tired out
*craft supplies
*kid friendly foods and drinks
*disposable camera
*make toys available
*child proof the guest room
*postcards

Don’t Overplan

Try not to micromanage the entire visit. One of the best gifts you can give your guests is relaxation and rest. They’ll need their own space to simply unwind. You can show them where food and dishes are kept and let them know they are welcome to make themselves at home. As an example, you can have your days planned where two out of the three meals are casual. You don’t have to knock yourself out. You can keep things simple such as a continental breakfast or a buffet style lunch.

It’s crucial to remember that everyone has different routines and eating and living habits. It’s also important to be aware that you are the host, and should arrange to have food available and are responsible for arranging entertainment, to a certain point. Again, this is why you need to set the boundaries BEFORE guests arrive. Most importantly, be flexible and keep a sense of humor.

Houseguests 411

You’ve planned and prepared for your houseguests. Have you considered that you’ve maybe made them too comfy? What can you do with houseguests that have overstayed their welcome? Another responsibility of the host is to decide when the visit is over.

Some guests can’t grasp subtle hints. You can try boring them or requesting them to do housecleaning and laundry, start sentences with “Before you go…” and “Let me help you get your things together”, but it may come down to just being open and honest and stating that it’s been wonderful having them visit, but it’s time for you to get back to your routine and time for them to go.

After the Visit

Although, after the visit, it’s customary for the guests to send a thank you note, gift, or at the very least a thank you call, you can also send them a note expressing how much you enjoyed their visit. You can enclose any items they may have forgotten and add any photos that were taken. Hopefully, your visit was smooth and memorable, so you can graciously invite them again soon.

Mentioned in Cincinnati Post: http://news.cincypost.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070221/LIFE/702210374/1005