As an adoptive parent, would you want the birth mother involved?

**homesteadmamma** · 01-08-2006, 08:05 PM

I met all 3 of our kid's birthmoms. Unfortunately none of them are involved and haven't been for years (by their choice).

**MOMMYDEAREST** · 01-08-2006, 08:20 PM

not sure.........that would be a big decision...sorry i don't have a opinion, i have never been in this position

**tbs727** · 01-08-2006, 09:53 PM

I would not like to have the birthmoms involved. The adoption we are involved in now is a negligence case, and the BM will not be allowed contact. If the time comes, when our child is an adult and out of school, that if he or she would like to meeting his or her birth family we will support that decision and help as much as we can.

Part of the reason I don't really want to deal with birth parents is that we have HUGE families and just don't really have the time to get our children around to see more family. When you think about it, its a good problem to have.

**seadream** · 01-09-2006, 12:05 PM

We do not want the birth parents involved in any way, which is way we are using an agency that does not let the birth parents get involved.
When the time comes and my child wants to know his birth parents I will support him 100 percent

**Jerseygirl** · 01-09-2006, 02:23 PM

Right now my 3 1/2 year old is spending a lot of time while she is still in Honduras with her birth mother, I will continue to send photos as the girls grow to my contact at the orphanage who is in contact with their mother, but she will not have a direct means of contacting me. I want her to know the girls are well and what she did was right, but not have the ability to meddle. With my foster children I always said I would set up an E mail acct and po box so their families could keep in touch if they choose. If it was just a closed adoption I don't know how I would feel.