I received an invite last week for a bridal shower . It took at least 15 minutes to figure out who it was for. Turns out it is for the son of dh's stepmother-I don't refer to them as stepbrothers only because they barely know each other-both were already married when their parent married. This is his 2nd or 3rd marriage, her 1st, they have been living together for at least 5 years, I have met him once, never met her. The wedding is being held in Colorado (black tie no less) so we will not be attending, but her family is having a shower in NJ. Her registry is for glasses/china etc in the $65 range (I thought mine was pricey!), but I will send something to her home.
Am I crazy for not wanting to go? I'm working up the nerve to call MIL and find out if she is flying up for this, because otherwise there will not be a single person at this party that I have even met before. I figure an excuse of "I don't wan't them to feel they need to entertain me" should do, right??

I use bad ham as an excuse. It works for me. :toothy:
You're not crazy for not wanting to go.

I wouldn't go either. I figure invites like that are just gimme's. As in come so you can gimme a gift! There is no need for you to feel bad about not going, with the huge distance between your dh and his step brother only a card would be needed IMHO.

I agree with MJsLady. You can but don't feel like you need to give a gift at all.

ROFL bad ham. We have used bad beef as an excuse before. :D

I think I would send them a card, but i don't think you are one bit obligated to buy a gift. If MIL won't be there I don't think I would go either if there wouldn't be anyone else I know there. Although on the other hand, it might be a fun occassion to meet new people. :)

I wouldn't go, wouldn't give a gift and wouldn't feel bad.:D You don't even know them! Shame on whomever is in charge to ask virtual strangers to fill seats and a gift table.;)

Bad ham :laugh:

I think if you sent a card that would be enough.

I would make up an excuse too not to have to go. I hate going places that I know no one. Send a card with your regrets to not being able to be there, and don't feel bad about not sending a gift. It would be a different story if you knew them well. Good luck in your decision.

Originally posted by Darlene
I wouldn't go, wouldn't give a gift and wouldn't feel bad.:D You don't even know them! Shame on whomever is in charge to ask virtual strangers to fill seats and a gift table.;)

Bad ham :laugh:

If I was feeling generous, I might send a card.;) No gift though, no going to the party and no guilt!!!!

I was going to quote Darlene, but Michelle beat me to it, lol.

I think they're crazy for inviting you. The wedding would be one thing, but the shower?

Okay, I'm taking a different spin on this. What if her family (you said her family is hosting the shower) is using this to get to know his side of the family? But I agree, it would be horrendous to attend. If you don't want to get to know her, just send a card and forget about it.

I always thought showers were for friends of the bride? If you have never met her, I would not feel obligated to attend. On the other hand, if you like to get out and meet new people, go. There is a lot to be said for networking! Speaking for myself, as a Tupperware consultant, I would go, take an inexpensive Tupperware gift, and make sure the future bride (and her guests) knew where to get more.:)

I wouldn't go or send a gift either. My stepsiblings and I are not close at all and it never occured to me to invite them to my wedding or shower. I wasn't invited to their weddings/showers either, so no hard feelings on either side. If you feel you must do something I would just send a card.

Spoke to SMIL (God help me) I appear to be going. SMIL is so excited, I will finally get to meet her mother and sister etc etc etc , I think I liked it better when his family treated me as a stranger, actually, I know I did. So off I go to buy gifts for another shower-hurrah hurrah hurrah:bang: ---Kellie

Hope you have a good time, maybe you'll make a new friend. ;)

Well, if you gotta go, maybe you can have some fun??? :) Good luck!

Originally posted by forestdale
Okay, I'm taking a different spin on this. What if her family (you said her family is hosting the shower) is using this to get to know his side of the family?

Actually, that's what I thought, too.  My family would invite distant relations like that just so as not to exclude anyone~ better to invite people who don't want to come than to leave someone off the list and hurt someone's feelings.

I would take a small gift, not necessarily from the expensive registry (like a GC to Bath & Body works or somewhere for the house) and try to enjoy...   besides, if it's really bad, that "bad ham" might hit you in the middle of the party and you can get out of there.  ;)