Ok friends I need your help!!!!!!BIG time.....I was a SAHM for 9 yrs and worked a bit here and there but basically was home and now I am back in the working field and I love it!!BUT I don't know how to maintain EVERYTHING...laundry,kids,marriage,self,bills,job it all is so overwhelming!! I find myself breaking down regularly,crying cause we are outta milk.Its seems so silly but how do you all maintain it all?HELP ME PLEASEEEEEEE:bang: :confused:

Denise, just my :cents:
have the kids help out they can pick things up and put them where they belong. Make it fun for them, like the first one to finish his/her room first gets to choose dessert for the night, or helps plan a meal, or picks the movie etc...
Start a load of laundry when you first get up, if you don't have time set your alarm 30 minutes earlier.
Put them in the dryer before you walk out the door.
Use your crockpot for meals
write your bills out during lunch or breaks
mail them on the way home.
Make time for your kids, spend 20 minutes with each one of them every night.
Then pick a day for each one of them that will be your special day just you and the one child.
Go on a date with DH get a sitter and the two of you go have dinner and a movie or a night of dancing.
Ask Dh if he can take the kids to the park, a movie, bike riding or whatever so you can have a few hours to yourself so you can stay beautiful for him. I'm sure he wouldn't want to see you get runned down. ;)

You have to MAKE time for you! I'm sure you'll be able to handle it, every chance you get write down what needs to be done and who can help you do it.
Can the 9 yo help fold the towels after supper?
Can the 8 yo help load the dishwasher?
Can the 7 yo help clearing the table?
Can DH help with homework?

Just make a list, and see where you can fit them all in.

We did this for several years when I was working and it worked out great! DH even helped with the cooking and cleaning so did DS. DD was still here then and even she would help fold the towels (even if they were messy we left them that way).

HTH :hugz:

:hugz: I know just how you feel. I too have returned to work part time after years of being home with my kids full time and I'm still homeschooling also. I regularly fall apart too and that's even with my kids pitching in and helping. I live for Fridays when I can be home for a full day with at least the twins (Jaysn works all day on Friday). I think the hardest thing is "mourning" the loss of being at home full time even when we do enjoy our jobs. We cannot do all that we used to do for our families and we just have to learn to accept that I guess. :hugz:

And, if this is an issue, You need to let go of some things and delegate - if you are working you can no longer do all of it - hubby will have to pitch in -even if it makes you feel guilty or if you feel like the house is your job - I had a really hard time with this - I still do!! Things are just not going to be perfect anymore without everyone's help - thats the trade off with working. :( But this is a good opportunity to really teach the kids about responsibility and pitching in as part of a team (Don't think for one minute that I have this figured out- mine still stare at me blankly like I must be crazy -but it's slowly getting through!!) Good luck to you - you'll get it!!

Just wanted to let you know that I totally understand. The ladies above have given some great ideas. The only thing I can possible think to add is just remember that it all doesn't have to be done perfectly and learn to say NO.

Hugs from one mom to another.

Tons of women work and have a family. My philosophy is as a woman I can do it ALL but I just can't do it all at one time. :)

I'm not willing to try and balance it all and risk not doing anything as well as I want to. I choose to stay home because of that.

I'd just accept that things at home are not going to be the same as when you were home full time. The trade off is that you have a job. :)

Try and get a system in place, so you don't completely burn out.

:hug2: i don't have much to add, other than try to take care of yourself as much as you can. Try to get enough sleep, try to work in a walk if you can. (Maybe with your hubby, and this will help the stress level, too). This is a new time for you, and you will find your balance. Tell yourself that things will work out. You just need some time to adjust.

still working on this one myself. i have switched jobs recently and took a demotion when i did so i don't have the stress i used to have, but the house isn't as clean as i would like. dks help out some. they are responsible for their rooms and clothing (getting it to the laundry room and putting away clean stuff) as well as taking care of their dishes.
dh helps out a little. not as much as i would like, but i'm working on that.

i still feel overwhelmed after rejoining the workforce a little over a year ago. i just miss watching the kids grow up, but that's a whole other thread.


hang in there, you aren't alone.

I don't have kids (yet), but after getting married I had a hard time keeping up a house and working a fulltime job (which was for me, about 60 hours spent outside the home per week). After surfing the web for any website that would help me, I ran into Flylady.net I would highly recommend her system to anyone who doesn't have their house in order. It really works for me.

I work full time outside the home. I have delegated 2 jobs for my 3 children each. They rotate daily.

One washes the dishes and folds the laundry.
One puts away the dishes and feeds the pets.
One takes out the trash and sweeps the floors.

This is a daily list. I start a load of laundry before I go to work each day and toss it in the dryer when I get home from work.

I make sure each morning I have something set out for supper. I make a bi-weekly menu and try to stick to it. I look at the menu that morning.

I make sure to sign all school papers when I walk in the door. This way I know it is done and no rushing in the mornings to get it done.

DH and I usually rotate on who will cook supper. He cooks as much as I do. I am glad he is willing to help out. He also will do laundry when I forget.

We all put our own clothes away and pick up after ourselves.

Just try to remember to make time for yourself too.

The only thing I can add is on Saturday morning the rule was we all stay and help until the weekly chores get done. You would be amazed at what kids can do. Don't get me wrong my kids would complain but this was a rule for all. I told them we all benifit from my job so we all have to help. we were always done fairly early and then the weekend was free except for church. We stillmade the rule about eating dinner together even if it was hot dogs or sloppy joes as a time to connect and know what was going on in their lives. If someone joined a sport that played on Sat morning we went to the game and then came home and cleaned. Also accept that your house is not going to be as clean but I found that by relaxing my standerds some we also had a lot more fun and there isn't much my kids can't handle about a house. cau

How is it going Denise? You got a lot of good advice in this thread! :)

I did and thank you all!!!! I have assigned chores 2 ea per son andthey rotate weekly.Started allowance too it helps. Its ok hubby is helpful and to a point the boys are too.I decided if they don't do the chore I won't either but they lose $$ for that day.I must say now that I am working local and commuting its much better!!!!Only been a week but already see a difference in how I feel.I am home at a decent hour and less stress without the traffic.Thanks again all and hugs to all!!!!

I know this is a little late and may sound a little corky. But I am a single mom working full time and going to school full time and realize how valuable time can be. We all know you can loose yourself and forget to make time for things you enjoy. Just a little food for thought I use my lunch hour for "my time" I enjoy reading and will bring a book to work so on breaks and lunch I can squeak in a little reading time, I do the same with some of my crafts such as embordery or crochetting that are easy to pull out and work on and put away quickly. It's not alot but in that short amount of time I can tune everything else out, loose myself in a great book and it relieves so much stress. Big hugs and it's great things are looking up for you :)