We've been one income since 1993. Sometimes it seems family and friends just don't 'get it'. I work as hard as any of my working relatives and friends, but I sure get the impression 'something's wrong' with me because I don't work. Do any of you get this? I'd have thought that attitude would have disappeared in this day and age.

My frustrations with being a SAHM focus around planning and organizing my day in such a way as to get all the frugal household things done to make dh's salary stretch further. Seems like I'm always having to make choices about what would be the most cost efficient thing to do at any given point in time. Even as a SAHM there are not enough hours in the day!

Jean

I've been a sahm since my kids were born and the oldest is going to be 21 in March. Some people wonder what I "do" all day but I keep busy and also enjoy myself. Keeping house and family is a job and doesn't mean my brain is all mush because I'm not"out there earning a paycheck" I read, listen to the news am up on things. Know how to stretch a buck and make things last. Yep, I'm a well rounded person with all kinds of mad skills, lol.

It's not luck that I stay at home. Dh works hard and we scrimp and save and do without some things so I can keep house. Works for us and glad we did it our way. I know there are many reasons some of you can't or don't want to stay home and wish you well doing what you have or want to do. :heartsm:

One income family here, too. A lot of my friends and family members don't get it (or me), either. I'm not even staying home to be with young children, mine is older, so that really confuses them. But I do feel like I'm 'working' none the less. I honestly feel that we, as a family, are doing oh so much better now that I'm here. I sure wish I had been so very fortunate to stay home when my daughter was young, I missed out on so much.

Nope, they don't understand. They really don't understand that we do give up things or do without things for me to be here. And ya know, I'm not sure that some of them would be willing to sacrifie some , as I'm told they wish they could stay home, too. Some (not all) like to complain that they can't survive without two incomes, while they're hauling in shopping bags from high priced department stores.

And yeah, the days seem to fly by. I hear a lot of 'I would get so bored staying at home'. Hmm... have only been at it for 2 months now, haven't been bored yet!

We are a "one income" family, but it takes both of us working to make $20,000 a year.

We are a one income family again. We have been off and on for 17 years now. However now it is for good, because of my health. We do ok although I do feel that my husband has to work to hard and that society as a whole has become so backwards in their thinking that it is hard to find someone close to you to really understand or even try.

me too. My kids are grown and gone now as of this summer, and I'm not budging.

I do a lot around here, LOL dd is suffering, living with 2 other girls, and they are all pretty clean, but she and the others get tired easily.

She thought it was some weird fatigue thing, till I started listing what she is doing now, that I used to do for her.

The laundry fairy doesn't make house calls.

And her rusty car died last spring, so a 10 minute drive is taking an hour on the bus each way to work.

It all adds up.

But you should have seen the penny drop when I cracked that comment about the laundry fairy not making house calls.

That was a big part of it.

The laundry fairy, the dusting, cleaning and vacuuming fairy, the fairy that takes out the garbage and compost, the ever important dejunking fairy, the baking fairy, the cooking fairy, the menu planning and grocery shopping fairy, the driving fairy (back before the kids had their licenses), the mending fairy, the comfort and repair broken hearts fairy.

Hmmmm

Takes a fair bit of time and energy to keep all these fairies up in the air and flying around!

More than one figures, certainly a lot more than dd ever suspected.

heheheheheheheheheh

And just for the SAHMS of teens heres a thought for you!

Did you know that most teenage conceptions happen AFTER SCHOOL at home, BEFORE MUM GETS HOME FROM WORK?????

People presume that teens are more independant, and almost adults so why be there?

Drugs and little surprise bundles of joy are why mums need to be there.

That usually corks anyone bold enough to question a woman who chooses to stay home when her kids are "way too old to need their mother at home anymore so why aren't you out working???"

Try it at your next dinner party or Christmas do.

Oh and the other kicker is volunteering.

Nobody can figure out why there aren't enough volunteers now for the different charities.

Well, the demographics tell you why. You have a lot of overworked mothers who do the second shift at home, and their free time is almost non existant. Many try to fit in volunteering but it can't be the same length of time that Sahms of teens used to be able to give to it. So with the mothers all at work, there just isnt' the labour pool of experienced, wise and energetic mothers of almost grown kids, who can give it their all.

Ask the rude person who thinks you do nothing, whether volunteers do nothing.

We are now...but won't be for long. I need to return to work to help out our finances. We've hit hard times in the past few years, and especially in the last few months. I am currently looking for a job, and I'm heartbroken because I won't be able to be here for the kids when they come home from school. :(

I worked harder when I was a SAHM before my divorce then when I went back to work full time after it, and I still was raising the kids :)

We have been a one income family since 1998. Some people still give me crap about staying home. I get the "why don't you go and get a job" crack all the time. I don't want to work outside the home, and as long as we make it without a major struggle, who cares. I like being home when my kids get home from school. Not too mention, I don't have to take off of work when the kids need to go to the doctor or dentist. I don't get bored staying home at all. I love it

I've pretty much always been a SAHM since we first started having our 4 children. (They're grown now.) Sometimes I had little odd jobs for a few hours each week while they were in school to pay for some little extras, but for the most part, I was at home full time. It took a lot of work to stay on top of things and manage the household well, saving money all along the way. I remember I was so astounded about my long-time neighbor, who worked full time. Her family of four went out to eat every single night except for a couple times a year when they cooked at home. That was the exact opposite of our family. I cooked every night, and we ate out a couple times a year. I often wondered if she was really seeing any of her paycheck! I am going to get back to teaching adult ESL soon, though. I now have the time and inclination to do this, and it is very rewarding!

CG,
LOL, funny how kids never realize these things until they are out on their own.

I empathize with anyone who wants to be home and can't - not everyone can (especially single moms). I do believe though there are some out there who could if they just got rid of a few extras in life. I would not be very empathetic to the person who states that but dresses in designer clothes, eats out all the time, has an expensive car, etc. etc. etc.

BTW, I, like yourself, am home and happy for it. Besides, sometimes women are at home for other reasons (like health) that don't need explaining to anyone. In my early SAHM years, those responses bothered me more - now I could care less really. I figure that is their issue, not mine.

In response to Jean, the original poster, yes, it sure does take a lot of work to manage a tight budget. I'm not always as successful as I'd like, but I think I do pretty well. I am grateful I have the opportunity to have this challenge - and we are managing in the middle 20K range in expensive New England. I have a great dh who is appreciative of all I do, and that helps a whole lot. (Had a former dh who wasn't - so I've lived both lives - been there and done that.)

We were but I recently started working so we are not any more.
I only work 3.5 hours a day and it is when the kids are in school so if they are here so am I.
I don't really make a lot of money but I have a feel good job I am a meals on wheels delivery person so I deliver meals to the elderly and disabled so it makes me feel like I am doing something good pluse I get a bit of money in the meantime.

Eileen

I have been a SAHM since 1999 when my first child was born. And I would not change a thing. Cuddle times with my babies has a value that money could never bring. My dh makes a great wage but I have friends who are in the same wage bracket and work because they can't make ends meet. Yes, we are on a budget but we live very comfortably. And yes, we don't get what we want when we want it. We have to budget for things but we are so much more appreciative when we do get material goods.

Being with my kids has been the best. And I am ALWAYS busy!

I love what I do. I also have a dh that is my equal all the way. That makes our home run very well.

One income family since 1997.

One income family here too!

Got married when we were 18 and we are both very old fashioned.

Whenever someone asks me what I do all day I just smile and say "What I want to". I find that most people who ask are really just jealous that they cannot stay home themselves, including family members!!

this is a very good topic to talk to me about. i've been a sahm for 11yrs & i love it. but nobody understands what kind of job it is until they have done it. i ahve a few friends that work fulltime 7 htye hvae kids & they always say "i don't know how you do it". and my reply is "i don't know how you drop your kids off at daycare...i couldn't do that". i understand that some families need 2 incomes. it would be nice to have the extra income but raising my kids is very important to me right now. my kids are only young once. there ae some things that we have to cut back on so that i can be a sahm, but tis all worth it to me. just my opinion. keep up the good work...being a sahm is the hardest job in the world:D

Thanks for the support everyone. I guess this is all coming home to me because my baby is 18 years old, turning 19. I have no reason to stay home, according to some. I know dh expected I would go back to work before this point. So did I. But I have health issues and I doubt I could do it.

On an more sombre note, I crunched numbers for retirement the other day and discovered, if anything happened to dh, I'd be living in the poor house...$1500/mth. max. and that's with government subsidies included. I'm going to need long term care in the future. We may need to reassess things here. I may take out an insurance policy of some sort on dh, other than term, whether he likes it or not. He's not a big fan of insurance.

Jean

Pepper I love your answer!

Been home for 14 years and loving it.

hi,
we are a one income family also. alot of people do not understand why a person with a bachelors degree in education would want to stay home and not work. when my son started preschool this year he was ahead in alot of areas, because his father and i had worked with him on different things like letters,colors, numbers, ect.
it is very hard to live on one income. the budget needs to be very tight. we have not been as dedicated to the tight budget as we should have been. because of that fact we have debt that needs to be paid off. hubby is wanting me to go back to work now that our son is in school,but his work changes his hours 1 to 2 times per year and that would make it hard for me to keep a job. for example he was working first shift the first part of last year.then in june they switched him to third shift. now they have switched him again to a new shift starting in january.
my new years resolution is to really pinch a penny til it screams and get our debt paid down so i can continue to be at home for our son. i think at home is the best place for me to be.
i did go a little overboard at christmas shopping time. i should have been better prepared. i will be better prepared for next chritmas.

claudia

Claudia! You are so right!

I have a bachelors degree in Kiniesiology and very close to a masters degree in marketing. I worked over 10 years in my fields of study before having children. But I choose to stay home with my kids because I want to raise them all day long. Yes, we do without stuff but being home is more important than "stuff".

We will be moving to a city in January and people just assume that I am going to work outside the home. When I tell them I am still going to be a SAHM, they are somewhat surprised.

I get frustrated with this response from them. Why do people think its "not normal" to stay home and raise your own children?

I support any woman who chooses to or financially needs to work outside the home. I just get tired of people judging me because I choose to be a SAHM. So this thread is a real pick-me-up!

I actually only work about 15 hours a week. I would prefer not to. I hate missing being home to fix dinner four nights a week, but I must work when DH can be home with dd. I am hoping by this time next year, DH will have a better paying job, and our car loan will also be paid off (we have only one car). If he can find a better job, I will be able to leave mine.

I've been on both sides of the coin. I was a married working mom 40 plus hours a week to a stay at home mom when my kids where small, then once they entered school I went back to work again full time. Then I ended up being a single working mom, I worked three part- time jobs so that I could be home in what I felt were the important times, early mornings to get on the bus, after school and at bedtime, I'm thankful that I had my parents who helped with my sons. Then they got older I worked full time as a collections associate from 7am to 6:30pm and that was the hardest time. When I met and married my second husband he told me up front that I could make my own choices, but he would love for me to be home, It took a couple years but I quit the job and took another job for lesser pay and only work 20 hours a week. Do I regret it, no not in any way shape or form. I love the fact that I can be home more, be there to listen to all our children and go watch my grandchildren when the parents work schedules sometimes don't work out for either parent to be there. I love visiting my parents more, Yes there are days I want to pull my hair out, because the money is stretched or I have to make a decision on something because I can't get ahold of my husband. ( He never complains) I'm like most of you, I take care of the finances, laundry, bills, all the holidays, meal planning and etc. I like the fact now that we pay cash for everything, don't get me wrong we still have debts from when we met, they are slowly going down, but we have a goal and in a few years it will be met. Second stores such as goodwill and the thriftshops are my goldmine.
When my husband has his days off I am usually home by noon each day and can have the rest of the day to spend with him. I have some friends who feel I have given up my independence and a college education to what they feel is a deprived life, and I have my true friends who know that there is no money in this world that can replace the moments I have had the opportunity to be involved in. That are happy for me that I am happy to be home. Money is important to survive but it will not put a smile on my kids face when I have made their favorite meal or call my oldest son up to ask if he is in town doing a carpet job and ask if he can go to lunch with me or come over and have lunch with me. I enjoy being able to stop what I am doing when they call or my grandchildren call to sit and hear what they say, instead of thinking I have to get this done because I have to be at work in 30 minutes and only hear part of the conversation. That each morning that my husband gets up I can have coffee ready for him and a good lunch for him to take with him, because I was able to make a good meal the night before and he was able to take a healthy lunch. Nope not me, I wouldn't go back to full time for anything, my family is priceless. I am proud of the women who can do it all work full time, take care of their families and stay sane and I'm proud of the women who have made the choice to stay home.

yes I am and is very hard. The things is that all my inlaws are two incomes, they keep two or three jobs, and buy until they drop the last toys and the best. We just get by... I maybe look like I envy them but I get upset, because they have not a penny in their pockets and they are alway gragging about the last thing they purchased. It is very hard for me to deal with them and I don't know what to do. I just not socializing with them, because they compare themselves a lot, and they just ask for this price and that price of whatever you bought last, and they go and purchase the same thing but more expensive. Do you have any suggestions in how to deal with this situation?:(

I worked for 9 years at the same place before leaving my job this past September. I had to leave because my work place was changing owners and I had to be available to work 40 hours a week which I couldn't and wouldn't do.

Dh got a better job so it's not too too bad. Still a little rough but we're making it so far.

The laundry fairy doesn't make house calls

This made me laugh so hard, since when I moved out, I used to call my stepmom and ask if she could send the laundry fairy over for a few hours all the time. (She never did :( but we always got a good laugh out of it)

I'm a one-income gal, but that's because I'm single ;) I make it work!

One income family here too. We have been for 22 1/2 years :D

It has often not been easy but then worthwhile things often aren't and I have discovered that I save money better than trying to earn it. I have done babysitting a few times for people that I know and that has helped for the extras but nothing regular.

My older boys who have left home have said how they loved having me here and that for me, makes it all worth it.

One-income family since 1997.

I do look forward to working part-time within the next year or so when my younger son begins all-day kindergarten. Mostly for the adult interaction.

But, I have to be home quite a bit to do all the frugal things that make DH's income stretch. No reason for me to go out and get a job when we would just spend it all because I don't have time to be frugal.

We are a 1 income family as well. I don't get questioned because of 2 things, my kids are still very little (7, 5, 3, 1) AND because who could afford daycare for 4 kids? LOL However, I assume I will get questioned as they get older. People always say how lucky we are that I get to stay at home - luck has nothing to do with it! 1 thing that bugs me is that people don't think I am educated or have anything valuable to say. As if I don't think at all or something. I have a college degree. I worked before I stayed at home. But yet, they just don't treat me as if I have any brains at all. It really bugs me. It is a lot of work staying home, homeschooling, raising kids the right way. But people just don't get it!

Jennifer

We are also a 1 income family... hubby works and we both agree about me staying home, I enjoy it but will go back to working p/t in a few months, something small like a grocery store clerk or something of that nature...

It's just for a couple extra bucks for shopping at the thrift shops and stuff like that, maybe a few rental movies. I've been doing good lately... not much shopping except at thrift shops.

DEBTS
------------------------------
Mortgage 1 - $72,000
Mortgage 2 - $25,000
CC - $10,000

Once we get income tax, CC will go down to about $5,000.

Change Jar - Just started... maybe $3

Gonna keep saving change in the jar, no sneaking into it either.

Thanks,
~Tracy~

As of this friday January 27 I will be home full time. My husband and I figured my part time wages versus gas and taxes, we both felt it wasn't worth it. My youngest is 18 and will graduate this June, but we have grandchildren and my father has to have a knee replacement done this year. So I am glad, now I don't have to ask off and when my husband is off work we can spend more time together.

I have been a SAHM since 2000, when I left the Army. People don't understand. We do better financially now than we did back then. I home school our two boys and I am a student myself so I can't even imagine going back to work. This lifestyle works for us. Of course this choice meant eliminating debt in our lifes but I have found that our family is both happier and less stressed now.

i agree, i'm a sahm, and i have worked int he past, and i work alot harder being a sahm. there isn't enough hours in the day. my hubby works. sometimes he has to work overtime just for us to make it. i'm very frugal, and i love it!! i think being frugal gives me a big challenge. if it wasn't for me being frugal, i would have to go back to work....not doubt about it!!!

My situation is a little different. I do not work, but do not have kids yet! I left my job in November when my husband accepted a new job across the state from where we were before. I'm actually pretty shocked, but as of yet haven't gotten any badgering from our families.

We've decided that we really like having me home! The house is (almost :D ) always clean, DH has dinner hot and on the table when he gets home, and there is so much more time for us to spend together doing the things that we like to do!

We will hopefully have or adopt children soon (infertility has been a struggle for us), but until then I'm the SAHM to our dogs and cats!

Nichole

We are a one income family. I would really like to find a job, though. We do fine on dh's income, but I do miss work every now and then. Lately, I haven't been as frugal as I should be, and it has really cost us. Our electric, phone, water, and tv bills have all gone up because of it. I have to get back to it asap.

i am a stay at home mom by choice. we didn't want to put our son in daycare, plus living in a small town it would prob. take an entire paycheck to pay for daycare and gas to get to a job, so its prob. cheaper for me to stay home anyway.
i get the "youre so lucky to be able to stay home" speech all the time. and i do consider myself lucky, but we had to LEARN to live on just one income. i cant see myself going back to work until my son gets older (shoot, my mother didn't go back to work till my bro was 21!) i dont know if i could handle going back to work. im use to doing all my "work" in sweats and unfixed hair, i'd actually have to get dressed if i got a job!

We are a one income family. For the first 2 years we were married I was the only one that worked. Now I am disabled my husband is the only one that works.
I would LOVE to be able to work. I had been working since I was 15 so this is totally new to me.
I would prefer to find something good to do from home but I want to work nonetheless.

We have been for a year now.

Last week I got my hair cut at Just Cuts for $14 and my father-in-law told me I spent too much of his sons money on it, eventhough my husband and I had no problem with it.

I hate that he and his wife give their two daughters (who are both working) $15,000+ each per year to help them pay their bills because they overspend, and he complains because I got a $14 haircut. I only get a haircut once a year, I'll just have to listen to my hubby and start to not care what they say (I find it hard when they make snide comments:( ).

How dare he?

Sorry I just had to vent and now I feel better....
PS: Thankyou for reading my whinge :D
This is a GREAT forum

~~~~Mazza Downunder~~~~

I used to be a SAHM but was forced to work when I divorced from husb#1. I worked 40+ hrs week to provide for my 3 children (no support) while they were small. I've since remarried and have been able to cut my hours to 24/wk. I make a decent salary so my income goes toward college tuition and food bill.

I agree, you need to be home for teens these days. I feel very fortunate to be able to afford to work minimally.

I'm new here...I indroduced myself on the Welcome page. We have been a one-income family since 2000. I previously had worked full time and sent my son to a sitter. When he was 14 months old I began to work from home and that was better. After I got pregnant with my daughter my husband got transfered so we moved cross country and I left my workin' days behind. Frankly, it was the best move we ever made! Our lives were so much LESS stressful after I was home full time. Financially it was hard at times to get used to only one income coming in, but we both feel it was best.

One income here too. I was single with for kids for 5 years, so I didn't have a choice. then when I met my hubby he wanted me to stay home. I wasn't sure I had supported me and the kids for so long that I didn't want to feel like I was depending on him. Two years after we got together, in 2003, Emily was born and I went on maternity leave. After my leave was up I decided to stay home the older kids were doing better with me at home and Emily was still nursing. They needed me. Sometimes it's tight 7 people on $28,000, but we make do.
I've been really lucky, my family is just amazed that we do so well, they all make alot more than us, but they are really supportive of our choices. Two years ago we suggested doing a gift exchange with the adults instead of buying for everyone. They were all for it, my sister said that the money she saved buying only 1 present would go to savings. At the time she was saving the same amount/mth as us and she said that since she made 2x as much as us she should be saving a little more than us at least. We both got a good laugh out of that.
I do get the negative feedback from friends though. But I just tell them that it's important for our family to have me home and if they were more careful with their spending they could have mom or dad stay home too. That usually shuts them up real quick.

Lol - that last message of mine was for this 'anyone else a one income family?' I think it has got lost in between the pages :angel2:

Danni, I'd love to hear some of your tips for making do on $28,000cdn/year with 7 kids in a rich province like AB. I used to live there. It ain't cheap! Course you do get a break on sales tax, unlike us in SK. How do you do it? Are you living in the country or in town?

Jean

I have been a SAHM off and on for 19 years plus. More at home than not. I am at home now with my grandson. I feel very fortunate that I am able to do this. My husband works very hard and often to allow this. I have been on both sides and feel we work equally as hard.

I commend those who do "IT ALL" it is not an easy task.

I have received those "go to work" messages plenty. I have also been fortunate that the majority of my friends are SAHM's.
I think it is a matter of choice and no one should judge someone else because they can or want to stay at home or choose to work.

Good luck to all in whichever path you choose.

I quit working after my first pregnancy beacuse of major complication. and have been home since that was 15 years ago. And sometimes i would get discouraged and with all the inlaws at my throat of going back to work, i almost did. But I listened to i knew was right for me and my family and these are my values, not theres i thought.

So listen to youreslf and what u think your family needs not others.

I know first hand how people can get jealous and make comments saying" must be great, i couldnt stay and sit on my touche all day, we had bills."
Well i would usually try to defend myself being young and ignorant to the worlds impression of me and what they thought I need to do with my life to make it easier. I was never a complainer, so i couldn't understand why they just woudnt zip ther lip and let me live my life.
Well after all those years I've learnt, I tell anyone who trys to tell my or make me feel bad beacuse my kids are in school all day." U live your life , I live mine ,--I don't tell anyone how to spend there money more wisely or go into there house and tell why isnt your house spotless , just beacuse u work out, no excuse." that usually shuts up the general few who still try to yap at me. lol
Or I ignore them and live and let live.
Just stand your ground, my inlaws including sisters all work, Im the only one who stays at home. I love it.

I work very hard at trying to be there for my family and the self sacfrice ive made over years they wouldnt make in a week.



Just remember love yourself and who you are.:hug2: :hug2: :hug2:

I've been a SAHW for almost 7 years now. I've received a lot of flak from people for it since I don't have kids. My DH's parents are very supportive of it, but my parents were very unhappy when I quit teaching. I think my dad sees it as my throwing away my expensive private-university education. What really ticks me off about that is that he thinks it's great that my sister stays home; she has kids. Since I am childless, I should be out in the working world. Never mind that my mom has always been a SAHM/W. That's okay for HIS wife to stay home, but not for my DH's wife to do the same.

Sorry for the rant, but that's always been a sore spot.

I've had other people make really nasty comments to me at times about the fact that I stay at home. I've learned, though, that those people are nasty because of some jealousy or frustrations of their own. One time I was at a youth group fundraiser at a restaurant. One of the moms was saying that she hadn't cooked all week. I said I hadn't either. Before I could explain that my DH hadn't been home for dinner all week (not a lot of motivation to just cook for me), she looked at me and said in the ugliest tone, "What do you DO all day?" I was so taken aback by the venom in her voice. Then I realized that she was just unhappy. She used to be a SAHM, but after her DH cheated on her and left, she had to work. I'd probably bitter about that, too. I try to just overlook the nasty comments, but that doesn't mean they don't still sting.

This lifestyle works for us. We aren't stressed. When I taught, I'd always have work at home with me. It takes a long time to grade 100 3-page essays, not to mention reading, coming up with study guides, lesson plans, etc. I had no life and no free time. Maybe I just didn't manage my time well; I don't know. I just know that my DH likes coming home, having dinner waiting, and not having to clean the house or run errands. He likes being able to relax. So do I.

We have been one income since 12/99. When we started planning to have our home paid off in 2000 we realized that without that interest (tax deduction) we would be paying my salary to Uncle Sam for the most part. Since that time I have done Temp Work but I don't look for it, a friend works at the temp service and calls upon me for favors. Every job they have sent me on wants to hire me and, except for new Moms, can't understand why I don't work. In fact, I just finished a 5 month temp job (maternity with preemie delivery - baby is doing fine) and we actually spent more money when I worked because I did not want to spend all day Sat and Sun cooking or preparing things for the crock pot all day.

DH and I have an understanding. It is his job to earn the money and my job to not spend it. He brags to everyone who will listen that I can make a dime spend like a dollar. :biggrin:

Being one income is not easy but it can be done and be very self rewarding. I don't need anyone elses praise as long as I have DH's.

I'm a SAHM for 6 yrs. Its important to us for me to be home and available for our daughter. She is now 6 yrs old. I honestly can't see being able to take care of all I do at home and then also having a full-time job. I love my DH but honestly I wouldn't get a lot of help LOL
However next year I'm thinking about getting a very very part-time job. Like maybe at Wally World. We'll have to see. Still not so sure if I want to take on anymore. Definitely nothing high stress that was pre-child me.
I can see myself being a full-time SAHM/W for a long time to come. I love it all. I love being there for my daughter. I love knowing my DH will have a hot meal when he gets home. There is soo much more I love about being a SAHM, but I could write a book on it. LOL
The biggest reason I joined this board is to learn to be more frugal. There are frugal things that i do to help save money, but i know there is so much more.

I so wish I could be a SAHM! Since I am a Single Parent, it is impossible, but I know that working the hours I work, for the amount of money I make, is extremely stressful. I know that my relationships with my children, and MYSELF! Suffer because of this. After working 13 hours a day, sometimes I really just do NOT want to cook, I am exhausted, and we spend money that we shouldnt. And since I dont get home until about 6 pm, a lot of the things I do cook are overly processed, or so quick and easy, like boxed mashed potatoes. Anything that saves on time so I can spend the time I do have with my kids, or cleaning the house. Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out and scream, "I CANT DO EVERYTHING!" I long for the day that I find that man who wants to stay at home, and take care of the children and him and the house! I am jealous of all my sahm friends, but I never tell them those things like, "what do you do all day?" I know what they do! EVERYTHING! But they are all so much more content in their lives and in their relationships.

I'm in Massachusetts in an upper middle class town with many, many SAHMs. It's almost a status thing to do. And most are college educated, worked for multiple years before staying home with the kids. The flip side is that we have too many Type A personalities volunteering in town and in the schools.

Our four kids are grown, but we were always one income while they were growing up. Fortunately, we were masters of the frugal life! (For example, we bought a car for $500 and drove it for 10 years!) Looking back, I just don't know how we could have managed with me at work. All four were very involved in school, so we always had lots of library research to do after school and homework to get through. They were also heavily involved in community and school sports, which required me to drive everybody to practices and games after school. I remember one season I had 68 baseball games to attend! When they got older, I returned to teaching in the mornings and picked up more hours as time went on. It was great to stay on top of things while they were growing up, but we really had to make that income stretch!

If I live to be 1000 I will never understand how people think SAHM don't work. Housework and raising kids is harder than any job I have ever had...and I do work and I don't have kids!

I don't see how you find time in the day to get it all done and yet, I am constantly amazed at how you do it all.

SAHM on one income!

I have a son who is 18 and getting ready to graduate. Someone mentioned that it's as important to be home now as it was when they were little.

I was a SAHM while our son was a baby and until he started school. Then I worked in the Elementary School system until 2 years ago. Now, am very fortunate to be able to home.

Yes, it's been hard at times. I think the hardest thing was disconnecting from the I must buy that syndrome. Didn't think I had a horrible case of the I want that's. But, I did. And food. Oh, my, goodness, we were spending without thinking about our purchases. Then throwing so much away. What a waste. Embarrassing!

We have saved so very much more $$ by my staying home. A benefit for me was the freedom not to spend money. I go to the store now and think. I don't need or want that. I can look at something and say to myself yes, that pretty, convenient, whatever.... but, I don't need to buy it.

All of our bills are paid off. We pay for everything in cash or we don't buy it. Big purchase items come from our savings or if it's really big then we will do 12 months same as cash and challenge ourselves to pay it off early.

We changed our mortgage from 30 years to a 15 year loan. We now have 9 years to pay. I hope that we can pay it off in the next 5. It would have been the next 4 but, gas prices are killing the budget in that area.

MessyKat, I totally agree.

I cook, clean, take care of the kids, go grocery shopping, put gas in the car, take the kids to their things, pay the bills, take care of everything dealing with the house ... it's like we are nanny's, housekeepers, and the accountant.

Let alone on top of that those of us who are with a significant other/spouse also do the wifely duties too! :lol:

I also agree with MessyKat and the others about how peoples attitudes with a stay at home person. I am trying very hard to create a home on one income.

I have been at home for 8 years now due to health issues. Despite the loss of my income, we managed to pay off bills and move into our own home 2.5 years ago. There are many times I remember things my grandmother learned in being frugal through the Great Depression/Dust Bowl. My mother is a huge inspiration to me by going from outrageous spending habits/bankruptcy to a frugal spender living on less than 800 dollars a month! I have so much to learn still but have hope I can be more like them.

Those who question living on one income maybe unwilling to sacrifice and learn to make their money really work for them. I figure one day soon our SAH habits will be precious and necessary, we will be steps ahead of the game. :smted:

We are one income also. If you think that SAHMs get attitude from others, think about being a SAW! People just assume you're a lazy no-account bum if you have no children and do not work outside the home. My Momma is disabled and I had to quit my job to care for her, so this "lazy bum" routinely maintains two houses, with all the cleaning, laundry etc. I'm also the only driver for both households. Between Momma's needs, her numerous doctor appts, all the driving involved I couldn't go back to work now even if DH wanted me to. (which he doesn't)

So glad to find other people who understand the whole frugal-living concept!

We are one income also. If you think that SAHMs get attitude from others, think about being a SAW! People just assume you're a lazy no-account bum if you have no children and do not work outside the home. My Momma is disabled and I had to quit my job to care for her, so this "lazy bum" routinely maintains two houses, with all the cleaning, laundry etc. I'm also the only driver for both households. Between Momma's needs, her numerous doctor appts, all the driving involved I couldn't go back to work now even if DH wanted me to. (which he doesn't)

So glad to find other people who understand the whole frugal-living concept!

I am always amazed how some feel the need to judge others-instead of maybe offering support? I think what you are doing is admirable.

"Ask the rude person who thinks you do nothing, whether volunteers do nothing" canadian gardner


I agree with margery, i have done my fair share of volunteering and also i crochet balnkets and make crafts for fundraising charities. My hubbys side of the family are like that, they just think I'm lazy and since were only renting now, they're disgusted with me. Its my fault, I should be working. I have to own a house to be agood person I guess.And deffentlitly have to work in their eyes. Oh well, i let them live their lifes, bingos, shopping, and all. I live mine more frugally.

We're also a 1 income family. I'm not a mom yet, but will be soon. for the past 4 years, I was in school & home, while he works. Just graduate, but found out we're prgenant. So we decided that I should stay home and raise our baby instead of going to work. We'll have more money if I go to work, but raising my baby and taking care of our family is more important to me than the extra money.

I don't even have a kid to take care of yet, and still can't find enough hours in a day to finish what needs to be done.