He is the most lazy, unmotivated "adult" I know! He was laid off the week after Memorial Day, and he just decided LAST WEEK to go down to sign up for unemployment. Last night he calls me up asking how OUR (dh and I)financial situation is because he needs money to pay his rent. I told him in a nutshell we're barely making ends meet here to begin with and I don't have any extra cash.

This is not the first time he's needed money. He got out of the Navy about 9 years ago (because he hated it), and went to live with my parents for over a year while collecting unemployment. He did nothing to contribute to the bills, food or anything. So when those checks stopped, my dad got him a job where he worked at the time. My brother worked there for about 3 months, decided he hated that and quit. My mom got him a job where she worked and he actually stayed there about 3 years before he pretty much got fired. He didn't work after that for atleast a year (maybe longer)- he didn't pay his landlord any rent for about 6 months before he decided to move out (his landlord never asked for a dime, no eviction notice, nothing). He couldn't collect unemployment because he was fired, so he lived off whatever "donations" my parents would give them and just kept opening new credit card accounts and maxing them out. He moved in with his girlfriend and she supported him a while (stupid her)- then somehow, they both ended up living with my parents. Then, he finally got a job and they got their own apartment once again. The bill collectors started calling, so he declared bankruptcy (which my parents paid for- and he never paid them back.) During this whole time- he would "borrow" money with every promise of paying it back once he got a job and it never happened.

So anyways, beginning of last year, my dh got him a job making twice as much as he ever has- never paid any one back the money he owes. So like I said, he got laid off, and is now having problems collecting unemployment because this company he worked for is out of business, they can't get a hold of the owner since this company isn't even showing up in their computer system. So for all they know- this company never existed. Now he has to wait even longer to get that first check, and he spent pretty much all his savings these past 2 months being out of work- instead of going to the state then.

This irresponsibility just burns my butt!! You'd figure he'd learned his lesson when he had to declare bankruptcy, but no. He has applied to a couple jobs, but he refuses to work there since they only pay $8.00 an hour. To him, having no money, living out on the street is better than having just enough money to put a roof over your head. Everyone has helped him in the past, and I'm so tired of helping. God can only help those who help themselves. Right now- if he got evicted, I would not let him live with me, nor give him any money. He's 33 years old, wouldn't you say it's time for him to grow the heck up? Or am I just being the mean, selfish younger (by 8 years) sister.

Laura

No, you are not being selfish at all. Maybe the rest of the family will follow your lead and close the checkbooks to him and then he'll have to sink or swim.

You are not being selfish, If the rest of the family and his friends did the same maybe he would grow up and I agree its WAY past time he did grow up...Karla

How often are you expected to bail out the same person? My mom did this for 10 years for her cousin while I was growing up. Twenty years later he's still a loser who can't handle his own life-but at least the family isn't supporting him anymore. I understand the whole "it's family" deal, but please, everyone needs to grow up and face reality. Why should you work hard for what you have while he sits home and benefits from everyone else's work......:soapbox: and now I'm done!

Why is it that some people seem to think the world owes them everything? BTW, eight bucks an hour will pay some bills, even if you're not living on steak and lobster! I am sorry, but this brother of yours sounds like he STILL hasn't grown up. Would I want to date someone like this if I were single? NO WAY--I would RUNNNNNNNN the other way!

What kind of education does your brother have? Why does he look down on the lower-paying jobs since he can't seem to get his act together? I have worked at jobs I hated until I could get something else. The amount of time I have collected unemployment during my entire adult life? SIX WEEKS.

Tellyour brother you are nto obligated and WILL NOT help him out. He is a grown man and needs to support himself.

LOL Lori! MY mom wonders why he can't find a decent girlfriend. When he does have a GF, it some floozy out of a bar- and my mom always says he can do much better. I told her no he can't- would YOU want to be with someone like that? Of course she said no. So thank you for proving my point.

He's a High School graduate and spent 6 years in the Navy. I really do think he feels the world owes him. That job dh got him, my brother's boss and dh are good friends, so dh knew everything that was going on. My brother would show up to work, do minimal and felt he should be paid top dollar just for showing up to work on time. Before the company went under, his boss was looking to get rid of him- and dh told him to go right ahead, he would too. DH's boss told dh to go ahead and hire my brother, since he does have experience in that line of work- I told dh to let him find his own dang job, since he wouldn't appreciate it anyways. The kicker is, that's all he's ever had is $7 and $8 an hr paying jobs (except this last one that I think was a whopping $14/hr!!!)- he has no bills except for food and rent (his car is paid off, and all his utilities are inc. in his rent). All he has to do is find a job that pays $200 a week after taxes. So technically, he could work for $6.00 an hr- 40 hrs a week and be all set. But I guess he feels somehow that's beneath him. I give up!!

Laura