How do your children accept A Frugal way of life?

My DD is still young, so she loves going to Car boot sales and eating HM food.
I have really encouraged her to help out more and she loves helping me cook and taking her lunch to school.

However, a woman from my work, who is also trying to cut debt and live more simply has 2 children 11 and 13....Both have been difficult in coming to terms with the changes....
Her daughter, wont accept that she can't have X,Y&Z, or expensive trainers etc...Also they are finding it hard to accept no cinema trips and less pocket money!

As I said, my little one is still young, so she isnt aware of any changes, but has anyone had experience of older children not accepting a more frugal way of life?

Do you think it will be easier for my DD to grow up more frugal than her classmates(seeing as we are wanting to live more simply and be Debt free?)
I know Im rambling on, but speaking to this woman has made me think!!

Thanx for reading
Eva!

My children are young and have known it no other way. I think you and I will have it much easier than someone who is trying to make changes with an older child. I'm afraid I don't have any advice for someone in that situation.

Honestly the first thing that popped in my mind is "they are kids, how much say in all that do they get". Maybe I grew up "old fashioned" for a twenty something, but a bad attitude like that would have just succeeded in getting me in trouble.

I think you do more of a service to your kids to teach them to use their resources wisely. Most people like instant gratification and to do without makes them feel like they are missing out. To be content with what you have & saving for what you want makes for a happier healthier person I think.

My kids are grown and away at college. They've grown into well adjusted kids who use coupons, shop for deals and don't like to pay full price if at all possible. They are thrilled when they get stuff they need as well as a few wants for gifts. I'm really proud that they learned young and are going to pass this contented simple way of life on to their children.

My kids got use to it, my youngest doesnt remember us not living frugally but the two older teenagers do. I made it a learning lesson, how messed up things can get when you spend foolishly.

I know others who have kids that demand having a new car, cell phones, wireless internet all the pricey new toys even though they dont work. And yes, theyre parents give them to them as they carry 4 to 5 jobs between husband & wife.

So much better to raise them with realistic expectations.

Well my daughter understands and she is only 10 but my older boys who are 16 & 15, I have to constantly tell them to turn off lights, etc... like they are thick headed. :lol:

I keep nagging on them so hopefully they will get it soon! :)

My 14 yo son is probably the most frugal in the house. He doesn't like stuff. He keeps his room spotless and stuff is just clutter to him (abit OCD I think). Anyway, most of the things my children get are items I have won.

Once in a while there will be something they want and we will compare prices until we know we are getting a good deal.

My kids understand that we live frugally because we want to enjoy the things we have. Also we have made it a trade off over the years. Example:
Instead of getting XYZ expensive sneakers, you can go skating 12 times.
DS is now 21 and has finally come to the full realization about watching money now that he's on his own. More than once over the last year he has called for money advise. What do we think about this or that. He has learned to wait and save for something and really need it. But as a trade off he has half the worries of his friends who didn't learn to save first. His bills are manageable. He also remembers "No Pay Weekends" a time when we didn't have paychecks coming in and fun had to be free.
DD has also learned by doing. But we have always tried to make the saving and the going without to have a valuable trade off. When her friends are moving every six monthes or year because they are renter and not homeowners she is grateful for the moneies saved to buy our home. When we take nice family vacations she okay with not having a new fall wardrobe. Others may go clothes shopping for new school clothes she wears the same old stuff and talks about where she went over the summer while friends stayed home. This year we hope to spend Thanksgiving week in Ohau. She is really looking forward to going and every week when we pay alittle more on the trip she understands. Also she understands its nice to come home from a trip and not have a big credit card bill waiting. She goes to the dented can store (our salvage grocery) and sees how the prices are better than the regular store.
The biggest thing is to talk to your kids about money and have jobs for them so they know its hard earned and should be spent carefully.
Laurie in Bradenton

the boys are pretty good...DS has never been in to a Toys R Us. He has no other ideas of life. SS is reallly accomodating because we've explained the long term goals. He wants a house too and he loves the ideas of family vacations and less stress. His mom has never been anything but stress for him in terms of money. So he really is responding well to the stability.

You know, I didn't come across frugality per se until dd#1 was 14. I had unexpected help. We were reading "Cheaper By The Dozen". It is a fictional story about a family of 12. They held family meetings and cooperatively decided how to cut expenses and spend money. We did this with the girls. We got together and asked them what was more important - fancy new name brand clothes or vacation. No contest. Vacation won hands down. Of course we tried to find the name brand clothes at the thrift store, with great success I might add.

I think if they see the budget (and they aren't too young at 14-15) and realize choices have to be made, and that they can have what they want as long as they plan ahead, then they are more likely to buy into it.

Also keep in mind as teens they are quite capable of getting jobs if they want more than Mom's and Dad's budget/allowance for them provides. Certainly that is the approach we took with dd#1. Also dd#2.

DD#1 is now 21 and well on her way to becoming a 'careful consumer'. She wouldn't dare use the word 'frugal' around her dh, who thinks it means 'cheap'. However, she is better than I am about spending money.

DD#2 went through a phase of not wanting anything to do with frugality, until she started working. We had her write down a list of things she wanted to do with her money. When she realized how much was on the list and the size of her paycheck, she converted pretty quickly! The key was to point out all expenses were hers if she worked. Plus she had to pay us rent after she turned 18 and was out of school.

She's still not very frugal, but dd#1 tells me not to worry. Once she gets living on her own she'll be figuring it out pretty quick. As the bow is bent so it will grow.

Funny thing, when dd#1 left home I made a Frugal Journal for her. DD#2 saw it and said "Don't ever give me one of those!" She was 15 at the time. Last winter, when she was 18, she came to me one day and told me something she wanted added to her Frugal Journal. LOL So they do change.

Jean

My boys adjusted pretty well when we first jumped on the frugal wagon. They still wear name brand items, but we don't pay full-price for them. We still go on vacations, but we use the change we save throughout the year to help pay for the cost of that. They help cut coupons and look for deals. The oldest even tells me that when he moves out, he is still coming to me for coupons and deals. They have learned to save money and know the value of a dollar.

my kids were also brought up very frugally, where we rented and we bought thr oil, cold air and old houses are a prob. sitting on the john when the wind blew acertain way was no fun either. But thats what you get awhole house for $300 month.
My boys loved it when we went to thrift stores and yard sales, I've trid to learn them nott to buy all junky toys but something they really wanted and would use often. They've learnt how to buy the good stuff and whats a deal.
I know of friends that got divorced, wa a SAHM, and now had to work out.Kids were nhanded evrything, it took awhile but the whining stopped and they learnt it was more important to live in asmaleer , and simpler life. They also got jobs beacuse they wanted to buy clothes for themselves.
Kids always bounce back!!!

My son (15yo) sometimes jokes about my frugality. He´s really easy in a way that he hardly ever wants anything. A new computergame once a year, and that´s it. He´s even willing to pay for it himself. Usually we buy him what he wants, often as a birthday- or xmaspresent. He is not interested in clothes and wears them as long as they are comfortable and look "normal".

My daughter is almost 13 and she is a bit tougher case. She is interested in fashion, she likes to have a new haircut once in a while, she likes to read magazines, loves shopping, complains about her mobile phone, asks for videocameras, holidays abroad and so on. I buy her "new" clothes from yardsales (or fleemarkets as we call them) and online auctions (kind of ebay but finnish) and usually she is happy and accepts them. But she is more difficult to please.

In Finland you have to bee 18 to get a drivers license. Parents usually pay for it (very expensive) but there is no pressure to buy your kids new cars, which is good as cars are very pricy here. ( Although there was a case where an 18 year old boy killed a couple because he didn´t like the new Audi his parents bought him. He was used to getting all he wanted.)

I think your children will do just fine as they are still young. You are doing them a favour in a way.

iida

My youngest one is really good about turning off lights, keeping the heat down and even reminds me by saying you forgot to turn off the lights. LOL My oldest one forget it! I can talk myself blue in the face and she thinks I pluck money off the tree. I give them a small allowance and they have to budget for what they want if I don't think is a necessity. Again, the youngest is good with her money. The oldest goes through it like wild fire.

I think it can really be hard for teens who live with a lot of pressure to fit in and have the best. I like the idea of vacation vs clothes. My kids are young and don't ask a lot now, but I can see myself struggling with the idea of being frugal ALL the time when you see something you really love.. like shoes and they are on clearance :)

A little off the topic..but read in a post above.. what is a frugal journal?

thanks

My kids are more frugal than I am--- we've included them in the family budget discussion each month from the time they were little. They know exactly how much money we make, how much goes to fixed expenses, and how much discretionary income we have. . .they get to help decide who gets new shoes this month, who needs extra $$ for a school trip, ect.

My 16 yo daughter asked me to buy her Christmas clothes at Goodwill this year, because she'd get more, and nicer clothes than if I bought new at retail prices.

Great ideas Peanut!

I have 2 who are and 2 who aren't. But the two who aren't are learning.
My son who is 18years old saw a shirt I bought for my hubby. It was Calvin Cline and he said where did you get that I like it. Of course I had to chuckle because I got it at the Goodwill and he said well I want to go and get some clothes. This is my kid who loves Pac Sun and $75 pairs of shoes. I do not give him the money for those types of clothes, he gets an allowance and he has to save and of course he has other ways to earn, such as saving cans, cutting lawns, cleaning out garages. He also would never take a coupon off for the movies or for any fast food place. Now he asks me if there was anything on the back of the grocery receipt and if any coupons were in the advertiser for buy one get one free. His friends and him will split the price of the full prize sandwich or meal. So basically they get two for about $2.50 a piece. I think as time goes on he will change.
I still have to remind him about the lights to turn them off or if he has left overs from his plate to put it in the bucket in the fridge for the dogs. ( I mix half with they're dog food.
I have always been frugal one way or another throughout my life. I also have always told my kids that I won't spend full price for things when I can get it half off or more or find it at a yard sale, good will or thirft shop.

My sons friends think we have lots of money, because I stay at home now and we still have nice things. But what they don't know is we bargained for what we have or we got it for free. Plus we take care of what we have. But also when we are done with something we have and we know we won't use it again or if something has been sitting for a long time, say a year, we sell it and bank the money or pay off or apply to a debt.

The one thing some of my friends and I debated over was Senior pictures, Some have spent over $400 dollars and I just about fell over. My son and I talked about it and he agreed with me. That we were having them done at Sears and I was getting one that I really wanted. All for $75, plus I took him out and took pictures at different places and have them on disc and we are making some up at Walmart, picture size for his friends and other family members.
I think if you haven't done it at an early age that it would be difficult to do it when they are in their teens.

Just try to teach my 10yo dd that she needs to think before she spends. I've told her to think of her purchases as an exchange for money, therefore making that item the equivalent of money. If you waste it, or don't need it, then throw it away and don't take care of it, then you've done the same to money.

She's pretty thrifty and I think she'll do fine when she's older.

mcphlips:
That was my post that mentioned the frugal journal. Basically I put in all the information I thought dd#1 would need when she first left home to live on her own. I discussed money, what it is and that it is a tool. I wrote about how to set up a budget that worked for her, suggesting categories she might have as a young adult (never underestimate the 'music' category!LOL). Then I went through the various budget categories and wrote up different options for acquiring things like housing, utilities, clothing, etc. I also included information on figuring cost of buying versus making food items. And grocery shopping tips. Also information on once-a-month-cooking, etc. Anything I thought would help dd#1 save a little money when she was on her own.

I am really glad I did this. When dd#1 left home she and I were not on speaking terms. I couldn't help her because she refused to listen to me. I gave her the journal and, much to my surprise, she actually read the thing and took some of my advice!

Now it is discussed a good deal and she is beyond it. Having learned most of what's in it and developed her own opinions. She's loaned it to me to make one for her sister. She keeps asking about it though, so I think I'm going to have to return it to her soon.

The journal I'm making dd#2 is more comprehensive, including cleaning tips and what to clean and when. Also budget projections and biblical quotes in support of good stewardship, etc. It is also much bigger. And I want a copy for me by the end of it too...which could be expensive.

Jean

I have 4 kids two daughters 19 and 17 and two sons 14 and 10. None of them mind garage sale clothes or toys, And if they need something like socks underwear, bras, ect, then I will get them when the budget allows, A want is something that they have to wait on until Xmas or birthdays, right now we are doing a new thing, every week one of the kids picks a country and we have a meal from that country we check out the books at the libary in the kids section so all the recipes are easy and usally inexpensive to make, My kids have never been to big on the newest toys, I sometimes wonder if they were born frugal but I have always bought most of their clothes and such at garage sales, and have always had some kind of budget, They also help with coupons and watchind sales. their faviorite store is the everything is $1.00 store. they like getting some really nice stuff for a $1.00 but they also watch and make sure it won't break easiley. I have started making muffins and their snacks from scratch and they really enjoy helping and they try to find their faviorite snacks recipes so we can make it from scratch. or if they want a new food the processed kind they ask if we can make it from scratch. My 17 year old always looks at sales and sees what we can get with a sale and a coupon. they love when i get home from the store to see what deals I got. So i guess I am a lucky mom because my kids are easy to get to be frugal. My 17 and 14 year old go to a place called the city here it is a teen place, getting in if free, and they have a all you can eat pizza buffett for a $1.00 and drinks are like 50 cents to a $1.00 all the games are free so for about $4.00 both have an evening of fun, they usally go every other Saturday. Right now money is even tighter now since I have to make trips to Wichta a town about 90 miles from me for medical treatment it takes about $50 a trip for gas, co-pay and lunch while we are there, but it is worth it since the treatments are working plus my meds are a $100.00 a month now so the kids are finguring more ways to cut the budget, and things that they can reuse. which makes me very happy to see. I can't wait for garage sales to start again. I know having patience and exlplaining things to the kids also helps we let the kids know what is going on and how tight the budget is not to worry them but so they can help find ways to cut out things that are not needed and find ways to save money which will help them in the long run. Also if they want something I tell them if that is what they want they have to give up X,Y, and Z that usally makes them think. Sorry for rambiling so long.....