Hi guys!
I was wondering if you could give newlyweds one piece of advice (about frugality, fiances, etc) what would it be? Especially if they're living on one income.
It seems like we can't really get ahead right now b/c of 2 vechile loans (we're trying to sell 1 of them) and a new house that we're trying to pay for and set up. We're not behind on bills or anything we just can't seem to really save anything due to just starting out.

Thanks!
~MrsB

COMMUNICATION! That's the absolute key, you have to be on the same page with finances or it can cause huge problems for the rest of your marriage.

A money saving hint? Cook at home, shop from a menu and stick to the list, don't go for all the prepackaged convience foods and don't get suckered into spending a fortune at the grocery, stockpile on loss leaders and set up your menu for a week or a month at a time, can save you a TON of money.

kj

you have a lifetime together to get things - you don't need to buy them all the 1st year of marrige. You will be amazed with the things you can do without. Make it a rule not to buy unless you truely need it (not want) and have the money for it.

Also to get a savings built up - make it a rule to pay yourself first - even if it is only $20 a pay period - make sure you do whatever you need to to put that amount aside - treat it like another bill that must be paid - if you have to forgo eating out to do it, then do so. By making this a habit, you will slowly be building a nest egg for your future.

And like the other posters said - communication is key - make sure you ALWAYS discuss your finances - make sure you are both on the same page and understand and AGREE with whatever plan you decide on. Review this plan at least a few times per year as situations may change. If you are open with each other about finances, you can overcome any obstacules life may present to you.

Best of luck - remember to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

Kim

Never give your spouse any reason to doubt you in anyway. ;)

Plan your major purchases, do your research. Buy used not new cars from now on (if you bought new this time), maintain them impeccably and drive them till the doors fall off. This alone will save you thousands.

Communicate! No one should try to hide purchases from the other.

Make a budget that you both agree on, then stick to it!

If you're living on one income, then I assume that means one of you is at home. If that's the case, then the spouse at home needs to be the one to take care of food prep (cook as much as possible from scratch--this will save you tons!), cleaning, errands, etc. This will make both of your lives more pleasant when you're home together. The at-home spouse should do his or her best to save money wherever he/she can. And when you cook from scratch, you can pack up leftovers for the working spouse to take to work for lunch, which further saves money.

Sock away what you can, when you can. Even if it's only a tiny amount, those tiny amounts will add up over time.

It probably took your parents a long time to buy everything they own. Don't fall into the trap of thinking you should have as much or more than your parents when you're just starting out.

Look for creative and frugal things to do for date nights. At one point, my DH and I were having dinner and a movie on Tuesday nights for only $5! A local sandwich place had 6" subs for $2 each on Tuesdays, and the local dollar theater showed movies for only 50 cents on Tuesday nights. We'd pick up subs, bring our own drinks, and go watch a movie for only $5! It was great!

This is a great question :clap:

I second (or third) Communication. This to me is the number one most important thing.

Come to an agreement that if either one of you is going to spend a certain amount of money say $50.00, you both have to agree upon it prior to the purchase.

Have an emergency fund. If an emergency does come up having the funds to pay for it relieves a lot of stress.

If both of you are not in this mind set already start practicing that "You don't have to live up to the Jones". There can be times that this will come up and its very difficult but if you are both on the same page it actually can be fun.

I have to agree with communication. You need to be able to listen and speak, not just speak.

Do not make impulsive purchases!

I second the 'you don't have to live up to the Joneses' advice. I just spent an afternoon with the Hilton set, as I call it. You know...the ladies who have condos on Waikiki Beach, play golf, buy food at the expensive Farmer's Market rather than pick or grow their own, have cute little dogs with all kinds of hangups. They all have their own cars and cell phones and drive from one social outing to the next. Trust me, after awhile it starts to pale and look a little boring.

Now me, I'd rather spend that money trying scuba diving, bungee jumping, sea kayaking, etc. rather than on my own car, a cell phone, and multiple social outings involving expenses for tea, etc. But then, maybe I'm weird.

So I guess communication IS key, because you need to set priorities. Which means you need to determine what you value most in life. Both your dh and you need to talk this over. What excites you and stimulates you? What makes life worth living to you? Then make sure there's room in the budget to do it, or find a cheap way to do it. What are you willing to sacrifice to be able to do it? What is less important that you are doing now?

Question whether you actually need that second car, or can you arrange errands to be done in the evening or on weekends when dh is home? Can you pick up secondhand furniture somewhere? At auction? At garage sales? At a secondhand store? From friends? With a little creativity can you decorate your home or update the furniture? Creativity can be a good way to save money doing things. Learn to think creatively.

HTH. Congratulations on realizing you've over-extended yourself. A lot of people may realize it but don't want to admit it until they are in a lot worse situation than you. And often there is a disconnect between spouses views on money.

Best of luck!

Jean

As was said above so often young couples/people seem to think they have to start out with what their parents finished up with, running themselves into huge debt. You will appreciate things so much more if you plan/save and work for them rather than just slapping them on the CC and paying for them for years.

And I'm not from the dark ages, I DID do the "liberated women" thing in the past, self supportive, good job, fancy car. I've chosen to be the stay at home wife so the house/food/laundry/garden/bills/finances ARE my job and my responsibility to keep up and cut corners where ever I can. I consider this my job and do it to the best of my ability and am proud of it. Hubby works hard at a full time job and here in the fields, I don't want him to have to worry about the rest of the things going on around here.

kj

The best advice I have is to save, save, save for what you want. Dont give in to the buy now..pay later. Because if you do you will pay forever! It really gets down to choices...about what you want to have, what you want to own, where you want to go and how you want to spend your time.
And best of luck on setting up the house! Such fun!!

As was said above so often young couples/people seem to think they have to start out with what their parents finished up with, running themselves into huge debt. You will appreciate things so much more if you plan/save and work for them rather than just slapping them on the CC and paying for them for years.


I agree 100% with this. And bear in mind, starting out with what your parents finished up with includes the house and two cars. DH and I have been married almost 3 years, I'm 28 years old, and we STILL don't have a house (ok, we do have two cars - and we're keeping them because they're paid for)

Also, you may not be saving much, but just keeping up on the bills is a lot better than most people do when they start out. You're not running yourselves into debt and you're building equity in a home. Congratulations! You should really pat yourself on the back for that!

I also agree with the advice on communication. You need to be on the same page in terms of budgeting, financial goals, spending money, etc. My husband and I have changed systems over time, but we have always agreed on what we were doing.

Avoid credit card debt. This is a huge trap for newlyweds, it is so easy to start charging a little here and there especially when your just starting out. Save for purchases and set a time limit, maybe 30 days before making purchases. There's probably a lot of things you want to buy now to get settled but sometimes if you wait you find you really don't need or want a certain item that much.

As others have said, communication is the key. You need to be able to share your thoughts and ideas so you can develop a financial plan that works for both of you. I also think it's important to have a little "mad money" $20 a month? that each of you can spend on somthing you want without feeling guilty about breaking the budget.

Write down everything you spend. That will show you where to plug the leaks.

along with every thing everyone has already said...

don't hide mistakes from one another. trust me, bad idea.

Figure out what is important to the both of you... and then work towards those goals. Maybe for you, having a certain thing IS important, regardless of the cost. Just make sure to SAVE for it. Talk about money. Talk about your progress. Either sit down together and do the money stuff, or ONE person needs to handle it. Allowances are great, if you have a joint account. It isnt that someone is intentionally trying to break you, but if they are not in "Know" of the money situation, than they dont really know.

So much wonderful advise given already. You've came to the right place for ideas and support.

First off, definitely pat yourself on the back. It's so tempting starting out to get in over your head. But just from reading, you guys sound like you are living within your means. Way to go!! So many aren't. And on one income? Wow. You've already decided to cut one of the new cars, that's awesome! I'm driving a 6 y/o car (after getting rid of my newer one) and paid it off a few months ago. Not new or fancy, but I LOVE it. I LOVE not having to make a payment on it and the feeling that it's all mine.

We are living on one income, as well. It's my 'job' to cut as many costs at home since dh brings home the paycheck. He works so hard and so many hours that I try to keep everything here running smoothly for him. He's able to come home to a clean house and home cooked food at lunch and dinner and we enjoy being together, as I'm not bringing the stress from my job home anymore.

Start reading up on books to help you cut costs down. There's lots out there, check them out at your local library.

And I will end with a Welcome Aboard and Congratulations for already deciding not to keep up the the Jones. :)

Thanks everyone for all the advice! And for all the support!
You guys have some great advice. I'm loving this board so far.

I would say set your goals and stick to them, whatever they are. When we got together 8 years ago we had nothing but debt between us. We made plenty of $ but spent all of it. For us we started small, eating out less, paying down debt, fewer vacations. When we decided to buy the house in less than a year, we got serious and cut out all but the necessities-no cable, no disposable paper products, no eating out etc. This helped us acheive that goal quickly. Now we live very comfortably, well below our means, we don't buy everything that we want immediately, we carry no debt but the mortgage, and we have a six digit savings account. It feels good. Even with all that we have, we still watch our $, coupon, limit our spending-again our long term goals are most important and have served us well. Good luck with yours.

I would say communicating with your spouse is a big key to financial success. Try not to use your credit cards, if you dont have the money dont purchase the item. Try to cook at home as often as possible. Establish a nice size emergency fund.

And above all like it was said soooo many times before, dont try to keep up with the Jones'. They are the ones in debt up to their eyeballs!

I'm a huge "lover of the culinary arts" so I love to stay home and cook. So that definetly works in our favor. lol And NO CCs!! Thats a big thing for us. Also, we just realized that when we go out together (for anything, even just a couple of items for the house) we end up spending alot more b/c its so easy to use his debit card. So we've decided no more debit card either. It will stay at home from now on. Normally dh spends on average $3-$5 a day at the convience stores on drinks and snacks (he's a truck driver) so all this week I've packed him drinks and browines and so far NO money has been spend by him during the day (except on cigarettes, please don't lecture me, I'm not going to try to convince him to stop....I know...I know)
Anyway, also since he drives a truck his boss allows him to drive the truck home which means we have 2 vechiles that we're paying for that sit in our yard 85% of the time. Thats why we've decided to get rid of one of them.

More later,
MrsB

I also pack hubbies lunch for him and include all kinds of goodies that keep him out of the convience stores, saves us a BUNDLE of money!

When you go shopping for ANYTHING at all make a list and STICK TO IT :) I don't even want to think about how much money we blew in the past just shopping, sigh, and there's nothing to show for it now.

kj

I'd suggest reading "Your Money or Your Life" by Joe and Vicki Dominguez. Ask your library for it, if they don't have it, have them get it for you - that's what libraries do.

May I suggest 3 accounts.
Checking account - this is for the bills.
You can have a debit card to this account.
Savings account - this is for the money being saved - set amount each month.
There are to be NO debit or ATM cards linked to this account.

Then there's the mad money account. This account is for spending on fun stuff. You can blow everything in here and not feel guilty or wake up one day and wonder where it all went. i.e. this is your allowance - but never use that word - it's limiting. This is where the cash in your wallet comes from. This account has an ATM card. This is where I get the money to take the kids to McD's. It's freeing.
And it also gives a sense of freedom. People tend to rebel when they feel hedged in and feel like every penny, every decision they make is being questioned and judged. You can buy that can of soda and not feel the inquisition waiting for you.

So part of it is figuring out your personalities and realizing what works and what doesn't work for the two of you. What makes you rebel? What makes you feel like your on a "diet" instead of empowered. Read that book!!!

You have gotten some great suggestions here already, and I agree that good communication is vital to remaining frugal and financially on the same page.

Just remember that the two of you are in charge of the money, the money is not in charge of you.

And turn off the lights and tv, and (safely) use candles a few times a week. This does wonders for your power bill. Plus, ahem, you are newlyweds! :hubba:

Ironmaiden, Thanks! I'll go look for that book at our library. There are a couple others that homesteadmamma mentioned in her thread (from riches to rags and back again) that I want to look for also so maybe Monday I'll take a trip to the library.

Lynn, LOL I love using candles (esp Yankee's Cherry Lemonade. Yum-O!!) But it seems like they make the house so hot during our summers. Its brutal right now. :-) How do you balance it out?


~MrsB

I have a question for those that replied to this thread. Do you guys mind if I compile your advice and use it on my blog? I dn't want to use anyone's post without permission. :-)

Thanks
MrsB

I PMed you. Sure, use mine. Also, cool blog! Thanks for the read. I might have to adjust my journal here to do something like you've done.

Jean

Thanks Jean! I'm working really hard on it. Its turned out differently than I had orignally planned but I think its actually better. lol

My advise is make sure that you and your DH find time to spend together doing fun things outside of the house. I know it is easy when you are starting out and trying to pinch pennies to feel like you are being deprived of fun, extras, excitement ect... . There are lots of things that you can do that cost nothing or next to nothing. For example, pack a picnic basket and head out to a free outdoor concert, lots of places have them in the summer to promote local bands or orchestras. Make a day of taking a nature hike in the park or on a walking path, once again you can pack a lunch and take some drinks in a backpack and it makes a free day of recreation. Museums and zoos are also fun outings for little money. Remember to always take time to stop and smell the roses :) .