...there's not enough money for the budget?

No matter HOW I slice and dice the budget, I am still $262 in the hole each month! Since I am the only income right now, it makes me wonder where in the world I am going to find the extra $. Not only do I work full time, but I go to Baker College Online in the evenings. I have a tutoring job that pays $20 per hour, one hour per week, but that's not enough to bring it down tremendously. This month I will only be working 1 Saturday.

I haven't even budgeted things like clothing, birthdays, weddings, etc. or Christmas. We have 3 weddings to go to this year and this kind of expense is really starting to worry me. I think I'm going to end up telling my family that we just can't afford to exchange gifts this year for the holidays.

There IS one area where I could save some $ and that is for groceries. We currently have $400 budgeted for just the two of us, but that was only because before this we were eating a lot of convenience foods. Now we can make our own convenience foods and save a heck of a lot of $. I have also been looking in the recipes section for some frugal recipes.

Well, thank you for listening....I don't know what kind of answers I am expecting here, but I need a sounding board because DH would completely freak out if he knew how desperate things looked. He has been looking for a job after a lay off in 2004, so I know he feels badly about the situation. He knows things are "tight" but not "dire" as of yet......

I think I'll work on this some more....there HAS to be something I haven't looked at!!!

OK, I have made some adjustments to the budget so it will balance out...it will mean making the following adjustments:

1. I will only be able to spend $25 per month on my hair....I will use coloring
from the store and go to BoRics to get it cut. Actually, I should have
some left over each month.
2. The grocery budget will go from $400 to $150 per month. If I stick to low
cost meals and fruits/veggies in season, we should be fine.
3. For my prescriptoins, I will use Medco where you can get 3 months'
prescriptions at 2 months' cost. That will reduce my prescription budget
from $70 to $47 per month.
4. I cut the car fuel budget down from $250 per month to $200 per month.

I hope this is something we can live on....DH works odd jobs here and there doing computer work, so hopefully this will help us out. It's just that we can't "count" on it, so I need a back up plan.....

Andrea

Looks like your food budget alone pretty much makes up the difference you needed. The other items are gravy for your budget. You did a great job finding the extra money you need.

you could really drop your grocery costs in half. since there are only 2 of you. i only spend about $300.00 a month for groceries for 6 people (sometimes more depending on how many foster children i have)!!! start clipping coupons, they will save you alot of money!!

Thanks, everyone! I just got back from Meijer and realized that this is going to be a little more dificult than I originally thought. I spent $85 for $106 worth of groceries with coupons and in-store savings. That's over half of our month's new grocery budget!!! I'm sure the more I look up frugal recipes, the better it will be, but sheesh! I HAVE to get better at all of this!!! Of course, I have to keep in mind that part of what was spent was on hair coloring (from the beauty budget), and the other part was spent on dog food (from the pet food category), So, subtract $25 from that and that is what I spent. I was so depressed when I left the store, that I thought of swinging by Tim Horton's for a donut. But, I realized that the donut is not going to solve the problem of no money, and it will only go to my hips! Since I have a sweet tooth tonight, I may make something with what I already have on hand. Gosh, this "living like no one else" stuff can be really HARD! But, it will be SOOOOOO worth it!!!

Andrea

Shop at Aldi's for your major supplies and use Meijer for things that they have on sale that might actually be a better deal than Aldi's - this will help you out even more. :)

Shop at Aldi's for your major supplies and use Meijer for things that they have on sale that might actually be a better deal than Aldi's - this will help you out even more. :)


I agree with Rachel.

IMHO Meijers is not the best deal in town. I don't go there anymore because they started charging more for stuff and I can't afford them. I shop at Aldi a lot. The food isn't bad, or generic. They have their own name brand and most things are good. I can get $100 worth of groceries there for about $50. Kep trying, you can do this.

Realizing and facing the problem is the first and BIGGEST step, you've already done that AND started working on the solution, good for you! I also agree if there is an Aldis nearby shop there, and look for a bread thrift store also.

Babysteps is also one of the biggest things, you can't do it overnight and if you try you'll end up even more frustrated.

And good for you for NOT stopping for that doughnut! See, you have the POWER over the impulses, you're doing great!

BTW, my ONE real splurge is the frozen mini creme puffs and mini eclairs from Aldis, you get a tub of 50 of them for what a few doughnuts would cost! :) When I REALLY need a pick me up I grab a few of them and a cup of coffee and shut out the world for a few minutes, lol.

kj

I agree with the advice you've already been given here and also remember to journal all your spending. It's amazing how much we spend, in teeny, tiny bits. They really do add up and make a huge difference in the overall picture.

Thank you for all the tips everyone! Yes, we do have an Aldi near us, but for some reason DH has always been against shopping there (pre-misconceptions I think). Maybe I can sneak over there the next time he isn't looking...haha.

I am coloring my hair right now and feeling great! I can't wait to see how it turns out. Afterwards, I am headed over to Bo-rics for a cut. DH won't be happy about this, but I will have to remind him about "living like no one else". This spending on brand name stuff and living above our means is what has gotten us in this pickle of a mess to begin with!!!

Andrea

You know my best friend had the same problem with her hubby, everything had to be name brand and they REALLY couldn't afford it! What we finally did was have them over for a BBQ and EVERYTHING I used was from Aldis, put the chips and party mix etc in bowls so he wouldn't know. Then AFTER dinner she told him and now she shops at Aldis too.

It's funny but in our marriage we each have specific areas we're in charge of, the house, yard, garden, horse barn and bills are my responsibility and I make all choices regarding them. Hubby is in charge of the equiptment, cattle barn, shop and crops. We don't question each other and if we really want something done a different way we think long and hard on it, and lol we sometimes have to decide if that's a hill really worth dying on. I do the grocery shopping and he eats what I put in front of him :) I do make sure to make meals he enjoys but I chose where the ingredients come from.

kj

Andrea,

Not my business I know but I have a question??? Can't hubby get a full time job, even if it is something that isn't his cup of tea??? Maybe you should let him know how things are looking so that it would give him more incentive to find something......you can't expect yourself to take care of everything alone.

JMHO,
leezza

I, too, am concerned that your DH doesn't know the reality of your financial situation. If he knew, he might make different choices that would help you both through the tight spot you're in.

It's unfair for you to shoulder the whole burden...and it's unfair to keep the truth from him. See how you could both end up feeling frustrated or misled?

Please think about sharing the whole truth with him...and let us know how it went!

Well, you are right up to a point in that he sometimes lets me shoulder the burden......he is more of a free spirit and I am the "geek". Having said that, he has been on several interviews in his field with no success and has been so depressed about not bringing in the $ that I guess it keeps him from bringing in the $ at times. He is going to work part time once school starts, but right now his focus is on getting back into school and working toward a degree in Physical Therapy. He does do computer jobs on the side which can bring in anywhedre form $500-$1000 a pop. He also works aroud the house making meals and fixing things, cleaning, mowing the lawn, etc. So, I know what you are saying, but he is not a total deadbeat! LOL

Andrea

Of course he's not! You just don't want to be in a position where a stressful situation takes a turn for the worse when he learns how bad the finances are.

I work in technology as well, and I was downsized back in '98--what a terrible experience. Like your DH I went a whole year with nothing but side jobs. It wears at your soul, and I completely understand your wanting to protect him from further hurt. Depression is a very real side effect of unemployment.

I eventually had to move 1000 miles away to get another job in my field and at my salary level. I didn't want to go, but I did, and it turned out to be an excellent decision. I only made the decision to move when all other options failed (I was single at the time, so no second income as a cushion). Sometimes we have to walk all the way through the dark to see the light again.

Andrea - I also shop for only 2 people and I spend $280 a month, but that has $70 worth of RX and dog food added in also - so I spend $210 a month and I only shop Meijer and Krogers - I do my base shopping at Meijer, you can get alot for free or almost free there with coupons. I tried Aldi's but they didn't touch pricewise what I can get at Meijers with my double coupons. I stop at krogers on my way home for a few misc things that they have on sale. Plus, aldi's in out of my way, so I like to save time and gas by staying close to home.
Cut out all your coupons first, then look thru the sale adds, matching up coupons with sale items (dont' forget the coupons you cut out the weeks before and set aside since that item wasn't on sale that week)- that is your base grocery list for the week. put the price next to it - you might have to guess the first few weeks till you learn prices, but you'll get the basic idea. then fill in your grocery list with items you need that are not on sale. then I leave $20 just for buying whatever meat is on sale.

so say you have $50 left

On sale:
TP (2) $11 (with 2 $0.55 off coupons)
Bread (10) $10 (on sale, stick extra in freezer)

total: $21

now I also need:
butter - $3
potatoes - $5
milk - $1
total: $9

so that's $30 I spent - with $20 left over for whatever meat in on sale.
doing this math at home helps to avoid suprises at the checkout - and you may decide, no I think I'll only pick up 5 loaves of bread, so I have $5 left over for something else.
then the biggest thing!!!! Stick to your list!!!!!

Hi Andrea,

I am new here too and generally lurk and learn, but I hear you saying "live like noone else does" and it just gets me, cuz that was me too..a long time ago.
It has been a struggle not to feel "poor" and "lesser" to have no money, no food,kids in the house and rent due...(Add in baby born with sever health problems and inability for me to return to work & 2 other kids) and wow sputter choke splash going down... had to accept $ from friends and local religious community and just feel crappy, Fast forward a few years (please fast forward and close eyes tightly during :)) We are on a slow crawl upward and it feel odd and pretty good at the same time. Any which way I have serious street cred on the whole Live like noone else deal...and so my free gift to you is the following.
Thank G-d you are you, Smart able and computer savvy. The internet is full of frugal sites, recipes, budgeting tips etc.. all good. You are your BEST resource, and can do this. You really can. Unless you are in war-torn someplace starving thru winter you do have options.
One of the options is your own attitude.
Yes Beans are cheap and it is possible to spend $25 a week to feed a family of 5 on beans alone,,but here is the kicker.. One night Make Bean Soup with homemade bread, The next night how about Mexican Beans and Rice_complete with Salsa Music and red and green table linens. The next night serve Vegetarian bean sloppy joe on your picnic table ware with twangy country music in the background. AFter that how about Indian lentil Dal..Make it fun, DH will take his cues from you. Rather than think I wish we could....Think wow aren't we clever for enjoing ourselves on so little money and everything tastes great... Your situation is tough but attitude is ALL.
DH I get, my own DH just suffered and worked and suffered the worst I think. I bet tho ifyou let him know (if possilbe) that yes things are tough but goodness so are you two guys and things will get better, He will relax a bit and be less uptight. Men are funny that way (No flames please) They take on caretaker responsibility and losing a job is to them a comment on them personally and the stress goes up from there. So let him know that your love and support is right there and you two are together sloggin out from beneath. I know that telling him the budget horror story might make you feel better for a minute or so, but the added stress on someone who is trying as best they can.(not the best we think they can but there own best) well I think that one does not saw away the ropes on the raft whilst one is adrift.
So buck up and remember. You can do it( actually you can do it with a smile on your face and a dance in your heart!)
GO YOU...

Leahmom, thank you for coming out of lurkdom to post that inspiring message! It meant a lot to me and I always appreciate reading other people's success stories. You are right that it can be done with a song in one's heart and with peace of mind. That's exactly what I plan to do!

I am feeling SO much better about the budget. I have made ALL of my meals from scratch this week and have even made us some sweet "treats". I haven't spent a single DIME on anything this week except for some meat needed for a recipe. I'm trying to look at it like a challenge, and NOT deprivation.

I think using the cash envelope system has really made a ton of difference when it comes to spending $ as well. I have even quit using my debit card for purchases, and low and behold, I stopped spending $ on frivilous stuff! Those plastic cards are simply DANGEROUS -- Credit OR Debit!!!!!! Even my debit card ~ if I use it, it feels like "free money" which it is not. So, the DC will only be used for computer and plane/hotel purchases in the future when we can afford a vacation...

Thanks again, everyone, for your responses and I hope one day to be that success story that can help someone else in their time of need!!!

Andrea

I agree about the debit card too. It is way to easy to use.

Well said, Leah!

Keep us up to date on your progress, Andrea!

Just this year dh and I were having trouble making things meet and I didn't tell him until I was so stressed out that I could not handle it anymore so I told him and we are now working on a new budget we stay home all the time (which actually is kind of nice) I do not work outside the home in the area we live it is hard to find something and to drive almost na hour would not work because of the price of gas so I do stay home and cook, clean and take care of everything there is only 2 of us and we have 3 cats and 1 dog.

I have been playing the Grocery game and this month so far saved over $188 in groceries with the game and also got $389 worth of food for $200 and we are well stocked I am trying to just buy food I have coupons for and makes it a great deal. I have somethings on my list this week but not a lot that I don't have coupons for. I am happy with the totals so far. I have been doing this game since June and proably have saved over $500 and gotten at least $900 worth of food. We eat home all the time, very seldom do we go out to eat and that is great and I actually don't mind cooking (never thought I would say that).

We buy a quarter of beef from a friend my dh works with so that helps alot and I watch for pork, chicken and such to be on sale. We planted a garden this year and have gotten a lot out of it also.

I think thou you need to sit down and explain to dh you can't do this alone and he needs to know where and what money you have so he understands all the changes. But I don't think you should keep this from him take it from someone who did I was worried but am happy that I told him now. He know understand when I say we don't have money for this or that he knows why.

I really advise you to talk to him and tell him yes he may want to goto school but right now you need a money flow. I don't work but we have learned how to live on dh salary and he makes really good money but we were spending it as fast as we got it. So please talk to him he needs to know what is going on.

Good luck

"Living like noone else" This puzzles me. Actually, when you are practicing frugality, you are living like a millionaire. I have had the oppourtunity to know a few people with a net worth of $1,000,000+, and let me tell you, more than a few bought things at thrift stores and garage sales, NONE of them purchased their cars brand new, always two or three years old. Let someone else take that depreciation! Rich people get rich by NOT SPENDING all of their money! You don't accumulate wealth by going into debt, or spending every dime you have. Most of these "Millionaire Next Door" types take very good care of their belongings, getting maximum mileage for their dollars spent. If that does not demonstrate frugality, I don't know what does.

You can choose to live like the majority of Americans, in debt, with little savings, or you can choose to live "Like a Millionaire". I choose the latter.

One thing that I do that helps me a lot on my food budget is that I shop early in the morning at my favorite grocery store and they have their meat that they are reducing marked down fifty percent. It is really easy for me to shop early because I work nights and can swing by the store on my way home. I come home afterwards and use my foodsaver and vacuum seal them and toss them in the freezer. It is nice because we can have steak occassionaly for what it would normally cost for ground beef. I also get my baked goods off the reduced rack at the same store, I can get breads and rolls for the same fifty percent off. It really helps out on the budget.

I just wanted to comment on talking with DH about the situation. Two years ago we moved back to our home state (we had relocated for DH's job and it didn't work out) and he spent 8 months being unemployed. Since he made twice what I made, it was really difficult to adjust. I can also relate to how he feels about not bring in any money - my DH was really depressed. He also works in the computer field specialziing in networking, so there really weren't too many jobs here.

I think part of what kept him on board was the fact the he was still responsible for putting gas in his car and paying his credit cards - I covered everything else. He would save money that we got for Christmas, and sold a lot of things on eBay, but eventually he got to the point where he went down and worked at UPS as a package handler. No, it wasn't glamourous and it wasn't in his chosen field, and it was about an 80% paycut - but it paid the bills.

He did eventually find a job in his field, and now he's actually very happy there, but it was pretty rough. And I know that if he didn't know how close to the edge we were that I would have been even more miserable than I was (I was working for a boss I hated but couldn't quit, and had to deal with a depressed DH when I got home - blah!). So I would suggest talking to him so that he knows that even doing something silly (like working at McDonalds) would actually make a difference. He may feel better knowing that he still can contribute something to his family's well-being, even if its not as much as he used to.

Sometimes the proof is in the pudding...(pardon the pun)

One option I've thought of with approaching your husband is perhaps setting up a scenario:

Make 1 dinner using ingredients from your normal grocery store. Get some feedback from hubby about whether he liked the dinner (take surreptitious notes on what he said)

Make the second dinner (say a week later) identical to the first, but buy the products from Aldis (or barter or whatever). Take surreptitious notes again.

Then sit down with him and show him the two shopping dockets and recount his feedback -ask him if it made any difference? He'll probably say none (men have very short term memories when it comes to food) - then say "ok, so you have no objections to me shopping at Aldis then if it means we have the same quality food for less money?"

It would be a very stubborn man to disagree with you after you present him with this carefully thought out logic!!