Hi

Iin Chapter 1 of the book Dave talks about how he felt being so far in debt. He states he felt inadequate, crushed, scared and going through hell. He was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Have you ever felt that way? Did you ever think that money and spending could be such a depressing issue?

I can honestly say that I felt that way early on in my marriage. We had to live with my parents for for the first year because of money. Not so romantic. I didn't think of money being depressing until that time. but struggling to make it has made me have a better appreciation for it.

Kellie

I don't think I ever felt crushed particularlly. But scared, yes I felt that a lot. Thankfully it never got so bad that I couldn't make all my bills or anything but there for a while I was juggling billings trying to get everything paid on time. I did have a few times that things were paid late though.

I wasn't sick and tired of being sick and tired. I was sick and tired of being stressed out.

I guess what I feel is panic...I don't like to owe money. It doesn't seem to bother my DH, he will just say...We'll pay it somehow.

I have felt it. Panic,desperation,anger,resentment. DH let me do all the financials, and I would tell him where things stood. I have always said if he got a dime he would spend a dollar. He would open credit cards while I was at work, go to the ATM at least 2xs a week and not tell me. We would have NSFs and I was left to clean up the mess. Finally it broke through to him that impulsiveness was ruining our lives, financial and married. A friend was familiar with DR and I poured myself into the program. DH was the typical free spirit, feeling like I was trying to control HIM instead of the money. After I basically dragged him to a Live Event and he heard DR himself, he saw the light.

Yes, I have felt anxiety and depression over money but usual these days its just your regular generic brand of WORRY. Hubby has a good job and money is coming in but I put a LOT of pressure on myself to be the best money manager that I CAN. That is where most of my worry is based. I don't remember being very worried early in our marriage but we were also living very unconsiously(sp) and we were very young. I cringe over the years of money wasted. Like Oprah says, when you know better you do better. At some point The Tightwad Gazette came in this house and I couldn't lie to myself any longer. I knew the level of dissrespect around here had to be addressed. Dissrespecting hubby and his income, my kids future, my abilities as the at-home parent. Time to face the music I guess. Once in a while we do something stupid with money but not near as often as we used to.

I haven't felt scared because we've never been to a point where we couldn't make payments but I am absolutely sick and tired of owing money. We make a good income, so there's no reason why we should be living in debt.

Since we started keeping a budget a few months ago I love the feeling that I actually have control over my money. I've never felt in power of my finances before.

Oh yeah, I've been there. Newly divorced, low income, no help. It got so bad there were some nights, I'm ashamed to admit, that daughter and I went to bed without dinner more than a few nights, no food no money. I was too proud to ask for help. Avoiding the phone, creditors calling at work, depression, you name it. Really rough time. That was my sick and tired point. That was 7 years ago and I NEVER want to visit that place again. Although dh and I are doing good now, I'm more careful than before because I know how life changes on you.

I can relate to all of the other posts. I am tired of being sick and tired. I want more control of our money, because it makes Dh and I our lives are less tension filled. I hate worrying about $.

I've been in the same boat as everyone else. Worried, sad, mad, avoiding...

I think a good term for my financial situation is:

apathetic

If dh and I don't do something....we will never have ANYTHING in the future.

We are property managers, so we don't have a mortgage or utility payments, however....someday we will need a home and will have to pay utility payments. We have no retirement and no life insurance. So we are trying to look to our future.

I was a lot like June when I was married. I was constantly putting out fires. My ex would also withdraw money from the ATM and not tell me. Once he went on an outing with a friend and withdrew money from our mortgage money and didn't tell me. I didn't know until the check for the mortgage bounced. Another time, he went to a baseball training camp and didn't even tell me he was going. I woke up to find a note he had written and money withdrawn from our account. After that I opened my own checking account in my name only. I was worried I could lose our home if he continued with that.

Now that I'm divorced, I have a lot less stress where money is concerned. Even though I don't have the extra paycheck, I have learned to adjust. Since I found the Dave Ramsey plan, I now have a direction in which I want to go. I'm happier now than I have been in a very long time.

I can relate too. It does make me sick and tired of feeling stressed about debt. I'm glad I found this website this summer. I'm not sure if I would have heard of Dave Ramsey otherwise. I really like the gazelle intense idea and DH is finally on board. We were having ATM issues too until I made him start tracking money.. then he realized how difficult it was when someone didn't tell him about a withdrawl. I think that is why I like the envelope system. Can that be a discussion questions down the line? I would like to hear more from people about how they use it.
:) thanks

Not panic and crushed - but it has been a worry over the years. I used to worry how we would ever afford college for DS more than anything - and it's working out just fine. Most things usually do if you try and focus.

That said, sometimes I feel resentful at my age that I still have to watch my money so closely - at least while DS is in college two more years.

oh I have felt it all. We have had many ups and downs. I don't miss the many years of sleepless nights. It takes so much out of you.
I hope our goals will help us continue to sleep well.

I have been the person 99% in charge of paying bills etc all our 15 yrs. I felt sick and like a failure when I realized we were over 16K in cc debt a few years ago on top of the mortgage and car loans. Dh said I shouldnt as we'd both done it together but I felt that way. I felt absolutely amazing when I paid off the cc's and car loans. Dh wasn't as happy because he had never dealt with the finances. I personally was walking on cloud 9!!!

We have had many different "financial" cycles throughout the 21 years we have been married! In the beginning we had debt up to our eyeballs and didn't learn a thing about paying things off......we would get ourselves right back into that same dark hole over and over again! I did get tired of being in debt and worrying about how we were going to make it all work. Although we are in a much better place financially, we do still have a small amount of cc debt plus a vet bill and a car loan to pay and I feel a greater urgency to pay these off now then I ever did when we were in much deeper debt!

depressed, overwhelmed, anxious, and many sleepless nights. its even affected our love life. hard to be romantic when im worried over stretching the money till the end of the month. getting better now. almost done with baby step one.

kate

When I was younger, and the kids were small, I worried all the time. But we survived lay-offs and other difficulties and realized that we could manage on very little. That is an empowering thing.

There are times when I feel a little (sp) bit of panic especially with my oldest daughter's child support ending, but I had enough since to pay five months ahead on my car payment and two months ahead on my house payment. Knew this was going to happen so when I received my income tax I put it enough up to pay my house mortgage tell next April of 2007 tell I get my next tax return. I have picked up another house keeping job and have been doing alot of overtime. I guess I am getting sick and tired of my car payment and house payment so this is what is getting me to be more motivated and work harder to get rid of these two monkeys on my back.

I can remember just recently feeling the stress, the shame and embarrassment over owing so much money on credit cards. Then add the fact that my parents helped us by giving us a loan for the CC debt. Well, with that came the ENDLESS lectures about money. They have a tag-team way of lecturing and will sometimes talk over each other, so it was very humiliating. However, even though it was tough, I still believe it was better than filing bankruptcy. At least our credit was saved and now we can get through school and pay them back in just a few short years.

I don't know that I've ever felt panic over finances. . but I've certainly been depressed (still am at times).

I think of how all the money going to debt- could be used for better things.

Been there Done all that! And now I can find that darn t-shirt! Like mom2knk over the last 20 years DH and I have had the ups and downs. One big factory in our staying power is DH doesn't blame me if a bill is late. As subcontractors our pay is never the same or on a schedule. His words are if I don't make it you can't spend it on the bills. So we pull together and make the money and pay the bills. We are trying to pay off debt and add to our nest egg for retirement. Hope Daves book will help us along.

Laurie in Bradenton

"I was a lot like June when I was married. I was constantly putting out fires."

Autumn, my ex was the same way. We made plenty of money but still always seemed to have debt because of his "instant gratification yesterday" tendencies. He also always had to one up the friends or neighbors, if they got a new car, we got a better one etc. He refinanced our mortgage 3 times in 2 years!! Even though I've been less than diligent about my spending habits lately at least now I know if I focus my efforts won't be undermined.

I feel that way right now, with all the student debt. Its like a weight. I want it gone. We're slowly working on it, but there are days when it seems like its taking forever and we'll never get out of debt. Its a terrible feeling. I'm glad that DH and I are on the same page financially now, he used to like to spent quite a bit (as did I but on different stuff and not as much). I think we're so sick of getting that statement saying we owe $40000...its like the grim reaper knocking on the door reminding you that you have to die sometime (morbid, but completely true)...