Okay so most of you think that large unneccessary debt is bad. So does society and ad people help with the idea that lots of debt is good or that we need this item to be popular/strong/the best? If so, what do you do to not make it a issue in your house?


Yes, I firmly believe that the ads and business people are out there to seperate me from my $$$$. They will do anything to get me to buy stupid things. HGTV the other day was trying get me to buy a $8,000 dog carrier. It was hand tooled leather and it looked nice. Sad thing is I have a collie. Can't carry that around with me.


Kellie

I think that society wants us to spend money so everyone will have EVERYTHING. I think the media "programs" all of us to see it as being affluent and rich. I think the media brainwashes us into "looks". How it looks to our neighbors, friends, family, peers at work.

How many of us have gone into debt just over clothes. I know we must dress professionally and appropriate at work, but I know that I have (in the past, gone into great debt) just so I wouldn't be wearing what I wore last fall etc.

I think all sorts of places try to separate us from our $$. Even by having vending machines at schools, students are encouraged to spend their money. How many schools have popcorn, candy sales. When I taught school, some of my poorest students that didn't have appropriate shoes, or coats, or supplies, but they always had candy money.

ok, this one really gets my goat. the commercialism starts way young in this country. do we really need a barbie that has her own credit card? and another thing, we are brainwashed from toddlers that a dream wedding is the perfect start to your perfect marriage. spending 20-75000 on a wedding is ridiculous. it is one day. keeping up with the jones's will indebt you and/or parents. off my soapbox now.

kate
EF: 566

I feel like I've always been brainwashed to believe that I'll always have a car payment, that I deserve that new car smell, and 'I deserve a break today' by eating out all the time, and student loans are a part of life, and everything else tv or paper would say I needed or deserved. It's totally been helped by the advertising community. I didn't know there was anything wrong with debting.... as long as I could afford the payments. *rolls eyes*

Now, though, these same commercials really get under my skin. More than half of them I watch in disgust and will have a comeback ready for "What's in your wallet' commercials, or the like. It's rubbing off on dd, thank goodness, so she now watches with a jaded eye for the commercialism, too.

Good for you pammy for already passing it on to the next generation. I'm watch with disgust, too, about the many ways advertisers try to con you into thinking you need more than you do. "You deserve", "get it now", "pay for it next year", etc. I just told my 23 yr. old daughter yesterday that if you can't pay for it, you don't deserve it.

Unfortunatley, I think our countries were built on the ideal that everyone must spend money. I think if were were all to stop, however, there will be an economic collapse, its sad to think that what kills us also keeps us going. Its a hard road, arguing about commercialism/consumerism. I constantly struggle with this, I even cancelled my cable to get away from it, but I constantly look at magazines at work, they stars with all their awesome clothes and accesories. There are even pages where you take an expensive $1200 bag, then they show one just the same at an affordable $300 to make it seem more realistic for the reader (who can afford a $300 purse, I don't know). At school, there is a girl, I don't know her, but she has a top-of-the-line ferrari laptop, designer clothes, gucci backpack, not dollar store school supplies, brand new car, all while in school. Last year, we found her in the hallway crying because they were going to repossess her car, and she was on the verge of getting evicted. Who was helping her? Absolutley no one. Who helped her get where she was? Advertising, companies, commercialism... I don't know about other schools, but I'm sure its the same everywhere, our schools are funded by companies. We're constantly bombarded by coke, trojan, starbucks, dell, hilfiger etc. All the big names, but I have yet to see an ad for a dollar store...Ads are mostly responisble for debt (the consumer holds the rest of the blame), I mean, why else are there a thousand toy commercials between saturday morning cartoons, to breed consumerism early...
Sometimes I wish I was born in a time, although significantly poorer, our brains weren't attacked on a constant basis. We're being brainwashed...

I agree with all of the above... I think it comes with the idea that we are a "super power." We must project the idea that we have the best, the fastest, the smartest. Ad people make a lot of money when they hook your product. It is difficult to not get caught up in the peer pressure of the Jones's. I felt it yesterday.. I need new shoes for work and really wanted this cute pair of Aldo's that would have gone great with one outfit, but were not practical for wearing a few days a week. It took A LOT for me to walk out of that store.

What has helped me, is getting mad. When I watched the PBS documentary about credit cards, it was an eyeopener in a big way for me. I thought, know way are they taking my money anymore, I'm not going to let them use me to get rich. High inerest rates, late fees that are outragious etc.

Many of us, some more than others enjoy nice things. I have kept tabs on myself and have felt the magical feeling go very quickly after we finally get that special thingy we wanted so bad. I could never afford to buy all the things I think would make me happy, of course now I know things can't make me happy.
I do not go shopping for entertainment anymore. That was a short time high, with long lasting effects.

Advertising the latest, greatest etc. will not make me better. It will take away
from our independence and security.
By talking about this in our daily living has made a difference to us all... kids included.
I have a long way to go after being brainwashed for so many years but I feel I'm getting there a step at a time.

I feel like I've always been brainwashed to believe that I'll always have a car payment, .

That's one that I used to buy into and I know even my fairly frugal mother has bough into. I'm trying to change that for me at least. 11 more months and no more car payment. I can't wait.

As far as society wanting us to be in debt, I agree with that. It kills me that you can finance anything. In fact, I used to be one of those idiots that would pay for their fast food with their credit card. Looking back, I feel like kicking myself in the behind for being so stupid.

The other thing that surprises me is that not only does society tell you, you have to have everything right now. It tells you, you have to have the best of everything. It's not enough to have the used Ford, oh no you have to have the new Lexus or BMW or Hummer.

And I agree with the person that was talking about the $1000 purse and the $300 purse. Who has that kind of money for a purse? And clothing and shoes aren't much better. And half the time, those ultra expensive clothes at least are so poorly made. I'm shopping for some work clothes right now and I want quality clothing but everything anymore looks and feels cheap for the most part, it's driving me crazy.

We are being brainwashed starting at a young age that we "need" designer clothes, designer perfume, a new car, etc. There are even shopping channels so you can shop twenty-four hours a day. Our self-esteem plummets because we feel we're "not as good as our peers" if we do not have the "best of everything". The ads show beautiful people taking lavish vacations, eating at the best of restaurants and then whipping out the gold or platinum card.

They never show these same people when the bills arrive in their mailboxes and they are wondering how they are going to pay for these extravagances.
They want you to fall in debt at an early age and take your debt with you to the grave. They never want you to lead an independent, debt-free life. They want you to be their slave for your entire life. They will suck the joy right out of your life. They will ruin your marriage, they will have many contemplate suicide and then they set back and laugh at you while collecting interest from you.

Sorry if this sounds like a rant! :pdoff:

You all have said it SO well. There is an entitlement mentality that is being drilled into us. My SIL is a perfect example-her phone was being turned off but she just had her nails and hair redone.

You are all so wise... but I believe we all must take some responsibility for this issue too- we feed into this advertising. (After all-no one is holding a gun to our heads to get us to buy that designer pocketbook.) Chronic advertising only affects those who let it. The bigger question might be why we are so easily manipulated-what is lacking in our lives that we need this "stuff" to make us happy?

Very valid/interesting points made.

Personally, I could care less what everyone else has. I've been made fun of because of the cars I've drivin'. But when it got cold out, guess whose car started & whose didn't. That's right, some of the new cars wouldn't even start & folks were shocked that I was already at work during the snow/ice. I don't care what any celebrity is wearing, who they're seeing or what they're doing. And I think it would be good for the economy for us to take a day or two & not buy anything. Maybe it would wake them up. Some of the salaries these people make are outrageous, money they could never spend in a lifetime. Also, when oil companies are making record profits while we struggle to get around from day to day & when CEOs walk away with millions of dollars for doing a job, I mean, come on. That is whack.

Autumn, it is time for us to start ranting & raving. It is time to get my CCs paid off so that I can begin to be a strong force in this world. My own stupidity is what has brought me down, stupid in my personal life & stupid in business. So I need you all to help me get myself together. I'm so glad that we're all here because I need this accountability so bad.

::off my soapbox::

I also believe that we are such a materialistic society, but I think it is from our capitalism. My Dh says that women dress for other women, and buy expensive purses, etc. to impress other women. He says that men don't know the difference between a Gucci bag, and a wal-mart bag. He truly didn't even know who Gucci was. I agree with that up to a point. Society and commercialism and television plays a big role in buying. Just think about at Christmas time the advertising for toys, etc.

I love reading your thoughts. I just remembered last year my dd's school was filled with Coach Hand Bags. Never mind you need the newest fall/spring selection.
My daughter did not think they were worth the money and she saw how someones new coach got old looking fast when someone showed of their newest version.
My daughter and I were shopping in TJ Maxx, she purchaced a pocketbook for $17.99. Went to school and recieved tons of compliments. We laughed together. She didn't have to spend hundreds of dollars to have a pretty bag.

Just thought I"de share

I have read alot about consumerism. I have read before that something like 80% of marketing is directed at kids. WHY? Because they are the future spenders of America, and because they know MOST (not all, I being 1) cannot tell their kids NO! Imho, I think this is because alot of parents are out their trying to have it all, and they feel guilty for denying there kids the love and attention that matters and they compensate with material. Its the easiest way I guess!
WE say no to consumerism by saying no to the boob tube! We don't watch ANY t.v programs, we own a t.v but we only watch carefully selected movies.

Most of you know that I am a property manager. I can't tell you the number of times that tenants call me and say, " I can't pay my rent because my car payment is due" or some other excuse.

When I managed low income housing, I had tenants with supposed Zero income. However, if they had zero income....how do they afford to get their nails done, and that cell phone they brought with them is way more expensive than mine..... Of course I will say, this and it a strong belief of mine. IT IS NOT A CRIME TO BE POOR! (It is a crime to lie on an application for low income housing).

Consumerism is wild. I think I owe it to my kids not to expose them as much as I can. We work on this constantly and I will say that my little ones are not as "driven" as their friends. I think we need to remind our kids....just because you see it on tv, doesn't make it so.

Guilty. I can't sit here and say that I am not guilty. I have been caught up in materialism....otherwise I wouldn't have CC debt. However, I have come to realized that no matter what you buy, there is always going to be someone else out there with a bigger, better, more expensive something than the one you have. AND, they are going to have a bigger, more expensive CC debt, too.

First thing when the mail comes in is I chuck most of it right away. Flyers catalogs, credit card applications, they all go. My kids see me open bills and checks. They wait every month for their bank statment in the mail. A lot of the gimmies start with what is in our mail box. The tv is another one. We watch a lot of kids videos instead of regular tv. The worst comes from our kids friends. I am friends with a great group of women that actually warn eachother if one of our kids gets something new (gift) and we have a chance to sit down with our kids and explain how this new great thing came about and under no circumstances are we getting one! We will call eachother or get together to discuss school supplies, no one got the 13 dollar compass set we all went 3.99 ! It is a constant battle to prove to my kids that they will not die if they don't have whatever it is they are craving. A 300 dollar hockey stick and a 30 dollar hockey stick can score the same goal provided you practice hard and know how to shoot. A duffel bag and a fancy rolly suitcase still get all your figure skating stuff to the rink! It is a battle but we love a challenge!

I agree with all the other posters. What also makes me mad is that they are preying on people's emotions to give us that feeling that if I see others having that (fill in the blank) and I don't have it, then somehow I'm not good enough until I have it too. I can see how people who have low self esteem would readily buy into that way of thinking and it really makes me angry.

I agree with what everyone else had said. I think that we are an "entitlement" society, and that we have this fear that if we don't have all of the latest material goods that the Jones's have, that somehow we are "poor" and that we "aren't making it like we should be"

I will say that I place more blame on the individual than on advertising, but I don't think that advertising helps. We have NO television in our home, and we plan to keep it that way for some time, particularly with a baby on the way. I don't want them to grow up being bombarded with advertising.

My Dh says that women dress for other women, and buy expensive purses, etc. to impress other women

I agree with this - I struggle at work because people make little comments to me abuot not being in style. I also see how nice others look and I think "i could look like that" but two things - one: I will choose comfort over style anyday, and two: I simply don't have the money. I will wear the same shoes every day for 3 years and think nothing of it. They still look very nice (no scuffs ect) I dont need a third pair of black boots because they have the new "wedge" heel. (actual conversation last week).
I still have clothes from high school, nice sweaters, any my ten year reunion is next year. I take care of my clothes and they look nice.
true, I have fallen prey a few times, but those clothes the ones I bought to "keep up" I don't wear anymore, hell dont' even own anymore, so now, it's just me and my old warddrobe.

We are absolutely in an entitlement minded society...Dave Ramsey was talking about this the other day and said something like "Oh, I deserve XYZ because I breathe air!" and how important it is that kids learn about earning and saving money.

I grew up in a home where we always had enough money to eat, keep the lights and heat on, and keep the gas tank full, but sometimes that was it. We wore second hand clothes (I always loved going to the thrift store because it was the one place where mom never said no! LOL), everything in the fridge was for a certain meal, and dinner at McD's happened maybe 5 times a year. I think this is the main reason I'm not trying to keep up with the Joneses...I had a very happy childhood with little so I don't feel like I need a lot now.

There is so much pressure nowadays...buy it now, pay later! When our $5 garage sale couch wore out DH and I went to a popular furniture store. They had a couch on sale (big ads, flyers, the works) for $400 and we could pay for that in cash, so that's what we told the sales guy we wanted. "Oh, I'm sorry, this couch is on backorder for at least 6 weeks, but we have something similar right here you could take home today...". For almost double the price!! We held our ground, resigned to the fact that we'd be using an air mattress as our couch for 6 weeks. Low and behold, 2 weeks later our new couch arrived. (*insert eye roll here*)