Hello,
Just wondering how many out there have a family bed?

I shared a bed with all three of our kids recently during a trip. We shared for 10 days. And we were all mighty happy to have our own beds again when we came home. I think it all depends on the family. We like room to spread out and don't like to be messed with when we sleep. So for us it wouldn't work. But I have heard of it working beautifully for others.

I don't think this counts, but Dh and I have both our dogs on the bed at night when we sleep. They are both cocker spaniels. I don't think I could have any children in the bed with me though, because I can't stand for anything to touch me while I sleep. Usually the dogs cuddle up to Dh.

When we were having our first child i read a book called the family bed and knew it was the way i wanted to go, my dh agreed. When he was born we had a cot and a moses basket but he slept with us and it worked great. If he wanted feeding in the night i didn't have to get up and he was easier to settle again after. The only one who didn't like it was the health visitor, she kept asking us if he was sleeping in his cot yet, because we were making a rod for our own back etc.In the end we just said he was sleeping in his cot all night long and she was happy.
Since Arthur we have had Meli and now Stephie who is one and they all slept in our bed, in fact when we were upstairs (we live with my family) in a smaller room we all slept in one bed all five of us. Athur and Meli are now in bunk beds but still in our room as they can't have a room of their own here.
For us it was the best way to go, i alsocarried Stephie in a sling (rebozo) for the first 4-5 months i only stopped because she got too heavy.
BB

Nope, none of my kids slept with us. I think it is better for them to be able to sleep in their own bed. Now, I can't say that I didn't wake up in the middle of the night when my kids were babies to feed them and fall asleep with them, but I would not let them sleep with me all the time. We need our private space away from the kids too.

Our younger two have slept with us. Sometimes they will fall asleep then get carried to their bed, or just get left there because neither of us want to pick them up and carry them to bed. But they still wake up in the middle of the night to get in bed with us. I love having my little one in bed with us and that little arm laying across my back, or neck, or head, hehe.

Each kid slept with us when they were infants. I found it easier, especially with breastfeeding. Around 6 months, I tried to transition then to their bed, although still breastfeeding (until 12 mo). Sometimes it worked, usually it didn't... eventually they were out of our bed. (generally 8-12 months old)
Looking back, I am glad we snuggled all night when they were so small. It goes by so fast.

We do. :) :)

i tried to make my son sleep in his crib, it was horrible. he would wake up every hour on the hour crying. finally at 6mo i put in him bed with us and he slept all the way thru the night. he just wanted someone to touch during the night. we didn't get him out of our bed until after he turned 4, but he still sneeks into our room sometimes and if daddy is at work he'll climb in bed with me to snuggle. i dont mind, sometimes i miss it.

Yep, attachment parenting and co-sleeping here. :) DD slept with us up until a few months ago. Not every night- some nights she slept in her crib, or later her toddler bed, but she slept with us on/off in spells- she'd sometimes go a few weeks one way or the other. I should also point out that DH often works nights, so many times it was just DD & I.

I never did the co-sleeping thing, but I know many people who have. I have a friend that has a co-sleeper for her infant which is a separate bed that pushes up to your bed and is open on the side by you, so you have easy access to the baby, but it has its own space. She loves it.

We have a family bed here and love it. When my son was born and I was working full time and nursing exclusively, it was a necessity, but fortunately dh and I had discussed it before he was born and we knew that's how we wanted it to be. He's 6 now and still sleeps with us most of the time, even though he's got his own bed.

My DD still sleeping in our bed.. Granted she is only three, but she seems to sleep better and longer when she is with us. We have a Cal King bed, so that helps.. Sometimes my 12 year old will even crawl in bed with me. Doesn't bother me much.

Both of our boys had their own room - with their own crib - and I would say that over the years it was 1/2 & 1/2.

Now that my youngest is 3, he prefers to sleep in his big brother's bed! But they will still both snuggle up in our bed also.

When my hubby is out of town, every living being sleeps with me, boys, dogs & cats! It gets crowded, but I love it!!

It's just not for me. :)

About the only time my daughter slept with us is when she was sick and running a fever. She did however sleep in our room for the first 2 years, but it was a huge room and she was clear across from us. Still, I liked knowing i could hear her when she cried.

My son sleeps with me. He ends up there anyway even if he does go to sleep in his own bed. It is warmer.

my dd (age 3) sleeps with me. my dh works nights, & i hate sleeping alone!!!

I have to say no. When I was growing up, my brother was five years younger than I, and he slept in our parent's bed. They had a heck of a time ever getting him to sleep in his own room. They finally forced him out of their bed when he was 6 or 7, and he refused to sleep in his own room or bed. He would sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor right outside their door. So sad. He was probably 10 years old before he wanted to sleep in his own room.

We never did this. In fact, we didn't even have a bassinette in our room when the babies came home from the hospital. They went right into their cribs.

I feel pretty strongly about this. Of course, when someone gets scared in the night, one of us will go snuggle with them in their room, but then we come back to our own bed for sleeping. Everyone in their own place. Works well for us.

Ds2 (8 months) has slept with us since we came home from the hospital. :) It's worked beautifully for us.

We are in cold norhtern Europe and have a family bed for 5 people, most nights. Ds 7 years old starts his night in his own bed but comes over to the family bed when he wakes at night. Dd, 4 years old, often falls asleap on the couch while listening to some story. Her dad then carries her in to her bed where she sleeps for some time and then comes over to the family bed. Other Dd, 17 months old, sleeps all night long with me since she nurses nighttime.

I slept with my parents until I was no longer breast-fed. All of my friends around here think I am crazy because DH and I want to do that when we have children of our own...Thanks for the Great thread! Nice to know I'm not as odd as I thought!!!

We didn't set out to have a family bed. DD was born, and lived in Cambodia until she was 15 months out. They do not use cribs... the baby and the nanny slept on a mat on the floor. When I was in Cambodia, I had a crib sent up to my suite. DD hated it... I hated watching my DD look petrified. So, she slept with me for the duration of my stay in Cambodia.
When she and I got home, it was just out of habit that she slept with me. She was a LOT smaller than we had thought and there was NO way she would be able to use the pre-toddler bed we had ready for her. 15 months old, but only 19 inches and 15 pounds, wearing a 3-6 months.
She slept with her father and I until we separated, then DD and I had no choice but to share a bed again, there was only one.
When I finally moved back in to my house (long story) she did have her bed, she did sleep in it. She knows she can always come in to room, but she has to knock and be answered to first (unless it is an emergency). DF feels uneasy about DD just crawling in to bed with us without his knowing... he tends to sleep in the buff.

As infants to like.. hmmmmm.. I would say around two all of my boys have slept with us. It was easier with nursing I would feel like a mother cat! Laying on my side nursing.... I miss those days! Now they all slept in one room still, even though they don't have too! :heartsm:

I did the family bed thing even though I was a single parent. The kids didn't sleep in their own beds until they were around 5 or 6. They are teens and on Saturday nights we "camp out" in the frontroom. Everyone has their own sleeping bag and we crash in the same room. It does feel like a sleep over as we end up talking for an hour or so after lights out.

My DD (5 mos) sleeps in our bed sometimes, but not always. Her cot is in our room though, right next to our bed. I'm breastfeeding so it's easier that way, and DH and I like having her close to us at night so we can check on her. I think she's far too small to be off in a room all by herself.

family bed over here.

We have done the family bed since we brought our DD home. It has worked great for us. I believe that no one parenting style works for everyone or every child. Who knows maybe our next baby will hate sharing our bed and need space.

Yup, we're an Attachment Parenting family, too. Kiddo sleeps about 1/2 the night on his own, doggie and I join him, then in the wee hours, add DH the night owl ... we're of the "animals like to sleep together for warmth and comfort so why not humans" philosophy. :)

we share our bed with my 4 month old boy
just added a twin bed to our original queen bed
DH sleeps on twin, me and my boy on queen
he was sleeping with me right from birth and i found it easy to feed him during nights. ofcourse i had to getup for diaper changes.
but now he cuddles up close to me and i love his warmth. he sleeps longer too during nights.

Probably a bit late, but since I'm new to the site thought I'd post. We have a family bed. All of our children have shared it (at seperate times) for the first year of their lives. It makes nursing and sleeping so much easier. Both DS's are in their own rooms now, and DD is in bed with us now.

We never intended to be co-sleepers, but are out of necessity now. DS slept just fine in his crib until he hit the attachment phase...now he will literally cry for hours unless he's in our bed. I don't mind much, I like being able to snuggle him and watch him sleep. I plan on "re-training" him to sleep in his crib when he's a bit older.

Just IMHO:

When I was nursing, I kept their carrier bed next to our bed, brought them into bed to feed then back into their bed. All my children slept through the night at 6 weeks and that is when they went into a crib in their own room.

I am a light sleeper and could always hear them at night or any other time. If they cried for very long or were scared, I went to them. The only time I had peace and quiet was after their bedtime. It was also the only adult time for dh and me.

In my observation, family bed means children in your bed for years. It means their bedtime is linked to your bedtime, which I think is a bad idea for both parties. I also think that it blurs the line of boundaries. Privacy and sexual intimacy are compromised. I know I couldn't be intimate with my kids in the bed.

wow this was a interesting thread, the main point in this thread is, what works for one family might not work for another family. there were alot of different views & inputs brought up, i just love this board!!!!

Yes, our babies slept with us. Now that they are older, they are in their own beds but when daddy goes out of town, they are in bed with me in a heartbeat. I wouldn't trade all those moments of snuggles and cuddles for anything....they are some of the most precious memories I have of my babies.

I generally try and keep my son (now 2-1/2 months) in the crib or bassinet, although sometimes the only way I can get him to sleep is to put him in the sling and hang it up after he falls asleep. He usually wakes up between 4am-5am, and sometimes I'll bring him to bed with me then, but not always. DH works long hours and needs sleep, so I try not to wake him up with a fussy baby. Although a sleeping one is fine!

We usually nap together during the day, on the couch.

DD sleeps with us, and we love it. So nice to wake up next to a happy girl :) And you gotta love those big open mouthed baby kisses..lol

I guess it is okay when they are tiny but once they get older, no way! What if you and your husband want to get friendly but junior thinks he should have the right to be in the bedroom.:yikes: He won't understand a locked door and probably throw a tantrum wanting his own way.

I guess it is okay when they are tiny but once they get older, no way! What if you and your husband want to get friendly but junior thinks he should have the right to be in the bedroom.:yikes: He won't understand a locked door and probably throw a tantrum wanting his own way.

I agree with Kayk- We did not have a family bed. I never had a child throw a tantrum because they could not share our bed. That is an odd thought to me.

I can understand both sides of it...this is just works for us right now, while breastfeeding full time. We hope to start transitioning her out sometime between 9-12 months.

My kids have always been welcome to sleep with us if they want. DD(13) likes her privacy, so she almost always sleeps in her room alone. She will go through phases where she sleeps in DS's top bunk.
DS(11) does not like to be away from me for any length of time. He and I will usually fall asleep in the front living room on the two couches watching Nick at Night. If I do actually make it to a bed, he sleeps with me.
DH and I have only slept in the same bed a few times over the years. Our sleep habits are so different. We are not able to sleep in the same bed and both of us get a good night's sleep.
I slept with my mom up until the night before I got married. I could not go to sleep unless my body was in some way touching her. I have no issues with my kids wanting to sleep with either or both of us for as long as they want.

I had my daughter sleeping with me since she was an infant and at age 5 she was still sleeping with me even though she had a bed of her own in her room all along. She would not stay put in her own bed when I would try since she was wee little. I'd fall asleep alone and wake up with her in my bed again and again. What was once a convenience for me when I nursed her became a nightmare.

Finally, at about age 7, she was almost permanently out of my bed. She is now 15 but there have been a couple times these last few years when I woke up to find her there in my bad and she doesn't even recall getting up in the night.

I would never allow it to happen again. No way.

When I was pregnant with DS we planned on a family bed (bought one of those co-sleepers you put between the parents) and did a lot of research on it. Well, we bought DS home and he DID NOT want to sleep with us! It was constant crying and he slept max 10min before waking up. So, after a few nights we transferred him into a crib which was in our bedroom. He slept ok in it but I woke up to every single little noise he made (which was a lot). For an overly tired mom it was an easy decision to put him in his own room right next to ours. We had super thin walls and counted that he only really slept 20 inches away from us. This worked great, everyone got their sleep.

Now that he is 8 months old he falls asleep in his crib without any help (never had to CIO). It's a place where he feels very safe and he also goes there to calm down sometimes if my hugs and kisses aren't enough (thats a whole different story - he seems to be like me who hates having anyone hold or hug me when I'm upset).

Anyway, it's funny how things work out. Cosleeping was really something I planned on since I believe it's the best for both the baby and the parents. But it just didn't work for us! DS still snuggles with us in the mornings for about an hour and I love that time. If he ever decides to come to sleep with us in the middle of the night, I have no problems with that. :)