I'd like to get your opinion on this.... We have a family wedding to go to next Saturday. We were just informed that there are 'no kids allowed' which means my step daughter cannot attend. DH and I have no problem with this, but alot of other people are having a fit because kids can't go.

When I was married the first time, I had a big wedding and reception and the only kids in attendance were the kids in my wedding party.

So what are your feelings on this?

It really depends. It doesn't bother me when they say no kids allowed. I have had 2 out of state wedding in which there were no kids allowed. For both I had to bring my daughter on the trip but had to find a sitter for both in the hotel. No big deal. If she's invited, I bring her along if not, I get a sitter. I don't see why people owuld throw a fit, it's not their wedding to decide.

I think its up to the bride and groom and if thats how they want it then thats the way it should be. I drives me nuts when people bring small kids to certain events, like parent-teacher confrences when your in the room and some little moster is just running around. Or like ods's h.s. graduation a few weeks ago. Someone with a baby and the baby is crying and crying. This person would not get up and go outside or somewhere and we were trying to hear the speakers etc. Get a babysitter and if you cant afford one then dont go. JMHO

in our case, we have no problem if that's what the bride and groom want, but then we usually dont attend, i wont leave my kids with just anyone...and usually those i could leave them with are at the wedding, and if i'm in an odd town, then i cant leave the kids close by, if they were older and could sleep over at friends...

so no hard feelings to the happy couple, but in return i hope no hard feelings towards us..no everyone has places to drop off their kids

It is up to the bride & groom to decide, since it's their party. If the invitation did not include my kids, I would simply decline. Perhaps the people who are having a fit were under the impression that their kids were welcome and are only finding out now that they are not. I would be pretty upset if I had made arrangements to attend a wedding, only to find out a week before that I couldn't go.

I don't have the option of hiring a babysitter.

There have been those here to when my son was small.
I just didn't go...

The only kids at my wedding were from out-of-town guests, flower girl and ring bearer. I figured in town guests could find a babysitter-I couldn't afford to pay for the meals if everyone brought their kids!

I don't have a problem with a bride and groom wanting a wedding without children. I think the couple needs to make their intentions known from the get go. The problem that I have is waiting until a couple weeks before the wedding to make your intentions known or someone that can't make up their mind. I was in a wedding and found out a 1 1/2 week before the wedding that children weren't suddenly not invited. I was a little miffed about it because of the timing of their decision. I had to scramble around to try and find childcare at the last minute.

I don't see anything wrong with not wanting children at a wedding. It should be one the most special days in the couples life and it is their decision to have children there or not. It is annoying to attend a special event and have a small child suddenly become fussy, even if the parent removes the child as soon as the fussing begins, it still is distracting. JMHO :)

In my opinion, unless there is a good relationship between the child and the married couple, having children at the wedding can be very stressful. This day is specifically for the bride and groom, not the four year old that cries during the reception because he can't have his favorite toys, or the little girls who get into a fight, or the little boy who spends all night running and hiding because the little girls are chasing him and want to kiss him. I don't have kids, and I don't have any young children that I am close to. In my opinion, unless there are children that are close to the bride and groom, a wedding should be an adult occasion and I see no reason why children should have to be invited simply because they are cousins or nieces and nephews.

I agree, I think its up to the bride and groom and their preference however they should state their 'rules' when the invite and RSVP go out so its all out in the open. But what kills me is that they will state NO KIDS or ADULTS ONLY and then have 3 kids in the actual wedding party - like holy, make up your mind!

The last wedding I went to the best man just had a baby so his wife was there with the newborn. That was the only baby in the NO KIDS ALLOWED reception ... man did that ever cause an uproar!

If children were not invited to a wedding reception, we declined to attend.

I really can't think of a more boring place as a child. Yes, you can dance, but not much else. I really don't think kids belong at weddings/receptions. As a parent, I enjoy weddings much more when my kids aren't there.

I still find weddings to be a bit dull. Whether children are invited or not, we always decline.

I've never been offended by 'no kids allowed' events. I think that any party, no matter if it is a wedding or just a party, should be age appropriate. Some parties aren't 'kid appropriate', whether it's because of content or the need for adult behavior, i.e. staying quiet for long periods of time. If I can't get a sitter, I've graciously turned down an invitation, or I've attended and DH has not to stay with the kids.

DH's cousin's 2 YO cried through our ENTIRE ceremony. It drove me bonkers. However, she was an out of town guest so she didn't have a sitter. Oh well...:ponder:

I respect the wishes of the couple being married. If the wedding is important to me, I can find a babysitter one way or the other. If it isn't that important to me I would not attend.

My dh and I both have large extened families with lots of kids. We included the kids' names on the invitations because we didn't care, and wanted to include everyone.

That being said, I realize not everyone feels that way. A lof of times, money is an issue with receptions, and paying for the kids to eat as well really runs up the catering bill. I have never been offended when my kids were not invited to a wedding. If we couldn't get a sitter, then we just didn't go.

It wouldn't bother me if my kids were not allowed to attend..I feel that it is up to the Bride and Groom to decide...Some children are well behaved and others get out of control...last thing I would want if I were having a very expensive wedding, is a bunch of rowdy kids running around

~We've never recieved an invitation that actually said "No children allowed". I think that wording is rude. The names listed on the invitation are the people that are invited. Generally I think wedding receptions are not appropriate for children. Ceremonies, yes, drinking and dancing, no. We had a simple church ceremony and desserts afterward. Children were invited and welcome. I think it's important that kids see marriage ceremonies. Though I can understand a couple not wanted children to distract or derail their wedding production because they've spent so much on it. I don't agree but I can understand it. Honestly I'm much more offended by registry cards in invitations. SUPER TACKY!~

I really can't think of a more boring place as a child......

That's what I was thinking. They have to sit still and be quiet. And time goes by slowly to a kid. Why put them through the torture?

-Elaine

I think it's up to the bride and groom. I had a cut off of age 16 for my first large wedding.

My DD#2 is making wedding plans and she wants a day wedding with children there. So her choices were either sit down dinner with an age cut off or buffet with everyone. She chose the latter.
Now my niece wants a very formal evening wedding she will have to pare down her guest list to do so and that is with a budget of $30,000.

I think this is up to the couple, and I have no problem with it so long as they make their feelings very clear from the start. I have no problem with parents bringing their child to such an event, so long as they realize they may have to leave early, etc. if their child acts up or gets fussy.

I think it is ok for the couple to state what they want, and other people can attend or not as they see fit. I agree that the invitation states who is invited, but I have seen many people assume that the invitation included their kids or their date (if they were unmarried) even if the wording did not say "and guest". I may the only mother in existence whose kid (5 at the time) attended a wedding by himself - he was ring-bearer for my neice at a time that I could not leave my job. All reports were that he was as well behaved as anybody there - and better than some. I also think that kids are not all cut from the same pattern. My DS, being a little nerdy, probably tried to memorize the service, and has pretty much always been able to sit still for a couple of hours. Most kids I've known, not just "these days" are not able to sit still and stay quiet like that. I was really lucky! I was also similar as a kid, so part of the quiet and still tendency may be genetic.

My daughter is getting married next October and one of her requests is that children (ages 3 and over) are invited. We have loads of kids in the family and it just wouldn't be the same to have a big Italian wedding without everyone being in attendance including the little ones. The 3 and over rule is so that parents with newborns or really "needy" little ones could actually enjoy themselves without having to worry about little sammy's naptime, or the music being too loud for little Mary's ears..3 year olds love to run around when they are in a pack..and usually behave themselves!

I only bring mine when they are invited. I was a bit put off when a friend married a few years ago and allowed "close family" to bring their kids, but I got over it. When I'm paying $100 a plate times 150 people, I don't want to hear someones ill behaved child making a scene. If I could I would have not allowed other children at the reception for Emily's baptism, but I thought that was extreme since the party is for her. God help the one that acts up though!

I usually don't mind them- if we don't have a sitter for that day- I will send our regrets. Honestly though sometimes it is better to not have your kids at a reception- sometimes when people drink too much they lose their tempers, don't really watch what they say and so on.

It's up to the bride and groom...I would think small children/infants would end up crying and disrupting the ceremony...and the older ones would be bored.

I woulnd't be upset, I thinkit is up to the Bride and groom. I would either find a sitter or if that wasn't an option, I would decline.

I really can't think of a more boring place as a child. Yes, you can dance, but not much else. I really don't think kids belong at weddings/receptions. As a parent, I enjoy weddings much more when my kids aren't there.

I agree 100 percent. I do enjoy weddings more when my kids aren't there. However if I couldn't get a sitter and they weren't allowed I would not be mad about not going.

Katy

I'll chime in on the child's point of view. I was a quiet and perfectly well behaved child (yes, really) and I could entertain myself quietly for hours. Almost always. But I was dragged to a cousin's wedding when I was 8 or 9, and it was one of the few truly miserable experiences I remember from my childhood. I was bored out of my mind, surrounded by adults who were virtually all unknown to me -- it was an out of state affair -- and all I wanted to do was escape. I think it's doing the children a favor not to take them. I do agree though, that the ceremony, if children are invited might be ok. But the reception was the pits. Even cake didn't make up for it!