Please tell me I'm not the only one. I had a confrontation with my husband's mother over the weekend, and I really just need to vent. I've known the woman since I was 13 years old, and I swear her behavior just becomes more and more irrational as she gets older.

I could go on and on about specific things she's done and/or said, but the bottom line is she's completely devoid of any sort of moral compass whatsoever. Like a wild animal, just depraved. I truly think she does not know the difference between right and wrong.

In the past I have had a relatively peaceful relationship with the in-laws (minus a confrontation here or there) until the past few months. I can totally relate to what you are saying. I have known my MIL since 1989 and with each passing year she becomes more and more absurd. My MIL has lost all sense of reality and gone way off the deep end. DD, DS and I have not really spoken to her in a couple of months. Our last straw was when she had an argument with my 14 year old DD in front of my 11 year old DS. Long story short, MIL told DD she would not go to Heaven and was going to end up in hell because she likes dragons and fairies and reads books that are based on mythological themes. DD does not back down and they had a huge blow out. DH is even separating himself a good bit from her. I don't want him doing this so I have been encouraging him to see his mom and keeping my thoughts of her to myself.

No, you are not alone. I am sure there are a lot more of us out there too.

I'm right there with you. My MIL had gotten more depressed and more racist every year. Simply unpleasant to be around. My late husband called her "doom and gloom" for years.

The final straw was after my husband passed away I discovered that the life insurance company messed up. I KNOW that he changed the beneficiary on the policy to me. I was there when he did it. However the insurance company still had her on the policy and I couldn't find the documentation.

So the woman takes the life insurance, then she has the gall to call me names to my own children.

Obviously none of us have anything to do with her.

Oh my gosh, just do a search on my mother inlaw and the jacket incident! ROFL, i can SOOOOO relate.

ROFL!!!! I have not had one, but sure hope I never become one either!

My MIL is pure evil...even dh can't stand her.

Oh Amanda--I've been there, done that, got the tee-shirt and oh, the knife in the back too.:puck:

So the lesson I've learned is to be THE VERY BEST MIL I can be. I do not butt in, talk ill of the SIL's, and I make their favorite cookies when I know they are coming around. (I have 3 son in laws and I think they may be a little less emotional than daughter in laws, even though I am perfect.:lol3:

My mil was just up to NH visiting from FL and I can't stand her she is the meanest person I have ever met and just glad she lives in FL and only comes up to visit everyother year or so.

I have been married for 15 years I am over her meanness and just ingnore it now. BUT I can't stand to be near her.

Eileen

Why didn't I start this thread?!?!? My MIL is very depressing to be around and everything has to be her way. Look up "manipulative" in the dictionary and I'm positive her pic will be there.

My now Ex-MIL was kept in "check" by FIL.
When he died, there was no-one holding her back. I was hospitalized and had to have surgery, and she came in and layed into me about how dare I put her son through this stress, and I could of prevented it by telling the Dr.'s exactly what was wrong with me. (?):huh: She talked my ex-husband into giving her the key to our house and would pop in just about daily to critize my housekeeping. When I would say anything about it I was told that I was being mean and that she was just trying to help, and how could I be that way to a poor widow. It was bad. I stopped trying to fight it and gave up after about 7-8 years of my FIL dying. I could list a hundred more incidents, but you get the idea.
Dr. Phil show for sure.
My 3 oldest kids remember some of it, and they avoid their dad's family.

I since re-married....a whole different set up.

:fdance:My MIL is loopier than this little banana guy, oh heck who am I kidding, it's the whole FAMN DAMILY!! I took it for YEARS but finally had enough just two weeks ago and told her so!:clap:

Long story short, I "stole" the favorite son and moved him to GASP farm country, just RUINING HIM! NONE of them have any concept of what we do, they think we should drop EVERYTHING on a moments notice and run to the city, it does NOT happen that way! We ALWAYS get "YOU NEVER CALL, YOU NEVER VISIT, FAMILY IS THE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSST IMPORTANT THING" Ummm, hello, that goes both ways right? They'd sooner have a root canal than come visit us in FARM COUNTRY, a whole hour away!

It got REALLY ugly the last year, MIL inherited a sum of money, just enough to be dangerous! (FIL passed away 7 years ago so no one to rein her in) We stayed OUT of it, didn't ask for money, figured she'd be ok, the money would be there for education of her grand kids (we have no kids, didn't want any of her money) Well in 3 years they (she and 2 younger sons) blew through ALL of the money, both sons are filing for bankruptcy and MIL is losing her condo and $200,000 in debt, and guess what, they blamed us! Why? Because we didn't STOP THEM!!

That's right, us, the "po folk" relatives, the only ones that don't wear designer clothes and don't drive super expensive vehicles, the only ones that didn't hold our hands out for the money, the ones that make it on our OWN. Yepp, all OUR FAULT!

Soooo, mama and I had it OUTTTTTT BIG TIME! And I'm SO not the favorite right now but it felt GOOD!!

kj

My MIL is just terrible. She is a drinker and I think that has totally affected her behaviour and judgement:loser:. She never liked me, I "ruined" her son's life etc. etc. She treated us terribly. Finally one day my Dh decided he had enough and just stopped calling/visiting her. It has been 9 years since we have had contact with her.:screwy:

34 years of torture, here! :ache: Mine can't get enough drama in her life and takes all of us with her, on the ride. Mean, manipulative, a hypochondriac, constantly interfering, not even a very good grandma. Although I have always taught my sons to respect her. :bolt:

Well in 3 years they (she and 2 younger sons) blew through ALL of the money, both sons are filing for bankruptcy and MIL is losing her condo and $200,000 in debt, and guess what, they blamed us! Why? Because we didn't STOP THEM!!

That's right, us, the "po folk" relatives, the only ones that don't wear designer clothes and don't drive super expensive vehicles, the only ones that didn't hold our hands out for the money, the ones that make it on our OWN. Yepp, all OUR FAULT!

I wonder if she can sue you for that. What a crazy, crazy way for her to think. It sort of reminds me of the burgular who sues you for falling over a chair in your house whilst robbing it.

What is the world coming to???

I wonder if she can sue you for that. What a crazy, crazy way for her to think. It sort of reminds me of the burgular who sues you for falling over a chair in your house whilst robbing it.

What is the world coming to???

Ya know it wouldn't suprise me if they tried, lol, my OWN family had a lawsuit regarding my G'mothers will, yep, my brother sued my mother, oh was THAT ever fun!:puck::bolt: But my family is the one that put fun in dysfunctional, we came to peace with their wacko ways years ago!

Oh, and MIL called my hubby (her son) at work the other day and whined "'WHY DON'T YOU EEEEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRRRR CALL ME?" LOL, his answer "that's why, the whining!!!" Ahhh, I DID steal the best son!! :)

kj

I can relate to everyone here. However I think my mil has been changing for the better, if that is possible, lol. I know her for 21 years. We have had many fights. She actually went to swing at me one time. She refused to come to our wedding 2 weeks prior to the event (although she changed her mind at the last minute, wore all black and had a puss on her face the whole night). We moved 2 states away and she was one of the reasons for our move. Now 21 years later she moved to the same town where we live, she retired, dh thought for sure she would be up our you-know-what everyday. Grant it she has only been living here for 2 months but she never bothers us! We had her over for dinner a few times and dh goes over there for a visit once a week or so and she has been very pleasant. Wow I cant believe I am saying this, I hope it lasts!

Wow I thought my MIL was bad but I guess she's not then, LOL. Sure she has no idea whats going on in the world and she tends to be a bit racist, our political views are completely opposite but we can still be civil around each other. Though she was funny for the first 3 years, when she spoke to me it was very S-L-O-W because she thought since I wasn't American, I couldn't speak english. Oh my, that still makes me giggle.

I will say my MIL, is an evil one, who turns everything around and blames everyone for everything. She blames dh and his para. brother for her husband's heart attack and him dying(of course, she left their dad for him, affair and never seen bio. again), she said the Drs. killed her baby who was a still born, she said her son who committed suicide was killed by his wife, she had a hard time believing dd had died only because dd was already taken to the funeral home when she finally decided to swing by AFTER, being asked to come see dd KNOWING SHE WAS GOING TO DIE, she would convince dss that dh and I could not tell him what to do nor "punish" him, yet he was only a minor gosh, it goes on adn on, the woman is seriously mental and dh has nothing to do with her nor does her family. I guess dh's ex and mil are two peas in a pod, both screwed up big time and yet somehow, dh is completely stable, same job, house for over 16 years.

Oh, and MIL called my hubby (her son) at work the other day and whined "'WHY DON'T YOU EEEEEEEEEEVERRRRRRRRRRR CALL ME?" LOL, his answer "that's why, the whining!!!" Ahhh, I DID steal the best son!! :)

kj

Ok thats a classic comeback! High Five's for hubby from me please!!

I remember posting ages ago on here about my now ex bf's mother hence the Outlaw Inlaw Island LOL. All I have to say is that she thought I was taking him away from her - as every parent feels but when your son is never home to begin with and me being with him makes him stay home more - how is that bad?

She'd always act out on wknds when I was there - overdose on eating 3-5 pies in a day, a tub of ice cream and whole whackload of fruit - all in one day!! She'd whine and complain about her sugar levels being through the roof - DUH you just inhaled enough to kill yourself willingly and she'd demand we take her to the hospital and wait there with her until the doctor came from far away town over to give her a super injection of insulin. It got to the point that the nurses had it ready for her by Saturday at 12 noon - right about the time we were due to bring her in :laugh: Her lil scheme was up!

She talked about how she liked me to my face and what a change in her son I've made just by being with him but then on the phone right in front of us both she'd bad mouth us and complain how we'd force her to go out of the house and grocery shopping - when in reality she begged and whined for us to take her out. :laugh:

Nothing was ever right in her eyes, even if she said or did it. I chalk it up to old age.

So far with this bf - both parents 'seem' to like me :laugh: but time will tell right???

My mother in law is a pain in my rear end. We are to the point that something has to be done about her before she gets more out of hand. I have a daughter from a previous relationship, my three year old. My MIL loves her to death (good thing I know), takes her places, buys her special things and has done so since she was 8-9 mths old. Here is the bad part. I have another daughter, one with my husband, her son, that she totally ignores and I can't figure out why. It's to the point if she doesn't start involving both of my daughters she won't have the opportunity to see either. I don't want either daughter growing up with a complex or bitterness because of her feelings for them. My MIL constantly has some snide remark to give to me about how I raise my children, how I look or how I clean house. She constantly puts down her son saying that she is trying to get him to improve himself and want more but all she does is upset him and make him feel inferior. I could go on and on about the things she has done. I truly feel that her ultimate goal is to get rid of me...........

strvng2bfrugal--

Mine has been trying to get rid of me for 34 years. Hasn't happened, but in the process, she makes life mighty miserable. :ponder: She used to upset me so much with her insults and cruel remarks. I have gotten a lot thincker skinned, but it took forever.

Funny how your MIL dotes on the older daughter, but not the younger--especially since she is dh's child, that is weird!;)

I figure I am taking lessons on how NOT to be as a MIL, since I have two college age sons. So far I have never had a problem with a girlfriend of my sons. Only when they break up, then I am sad. I ;)

My "dear" MIL invited herself to our house for a visit. DH, who has absolutely no problem telling me no, can't say no to this old battle axe. So after we discussed the fact that I didn't want her staying at our house, him telling me I'm "difficult" I solved the problem!!!! I will be gone while she is here. I will go visit my niece, who'se DH is in the military and away for 3 months of training.

Now MIL never shows up WHEN she says, so it may get a little tricky with my part-time job--but I will not be home when she is here.

I did get it thru DH's very stubborn, thick head that this was the last time she stays at our house. He will go visit her 1 x a year and then if she invites herself up, she will be told it will not work.

She is 87 and still going strong. Will this ever end??????

I figure I am taking lessons on how NOT to be as a MIL, since I have two college age sons.

I have to say that's the only good thing about having a MIL like mine. I tend to be overprotective by nature, and without having to suffer through everything my MIL has put me through I'm not sure I would have been the greatest MIL myself. I really want to go out of my way to befriend and welcome my children's spouses.

I can honestly say that I hate my MIL and FIL. It is sad how things are with them. My DH is their only child. As long as I have known my MIL, she hasn´t stopped critizising my DH. Last time our kids went sailing with them, they came home very sad and almost in tears, because drandma had spoken bad things about their dad. "Why did she say those things to us, he´s our dad." asked my daughter.

My MIL never calls us, she isn´t really interested in us, not even her only grandchildren. What made me really mad was when I was in hospital due to very bad blood poisoning and it wasn´t even sure that I would survive at all, my MIL didn´t call or visit or ask DH about me. She knew that I was in hospital but didn´t want to know why. She knows that I have cancer, but never asks how I am.

She sends our kids money. She gives them really good x-mas presents. But if she is mad at us, she´s mad at our kids as well and doesn´t send any presents.

iida

No MIL problems here. Shes dead.

Ahhhhh ladies. I too lived this life for 26 years. Now I am in my second marriage & have a lovely, God centered MIL. What a blessing! My first one was manipulative, coniving & as my therapist said "does not know how to have a relationship that is not improper". She thought her son's should go to her first (before their wives) for everything & when said sons were not around she said terrible things to her DILs. All this under the guise of leading a Christian life. Very sad. My first thought after the initial trauma of my marriage ending was "WHEE! I don't have to take care of her!" This did teach me a lesson tho. As the mother of 3 sons I very carefully & deliberatley cultivated a beautiful relationship with my 3 daughters-in-love. We have girls night out @ resturants & do much more together. I am so glad to have them & I know they are to have me too because I get the grandchildren in their wills! (Heaven forbid!) LOL

As we speak I am banging my head against the wall. One a list of about 13 MILLION things that my mil has done--two top the list. Number one, she put my veil on me before my wedding. In front of my mother. Number Two, dh got to come home for a week before going to Iraq....we just wanted it to be me, dh, ds at airport. MIL said dh is being controlling and sucking her joy away.

AHHHHHHHH
Can I join the club please!!!!!!!!!!!

I DEFINITLEY belong with you all!! As I sat here and read them all, I thought, "how iwll I ever put my in-law issues in words. Truth is, I can't. I hate them, they hate me - it's all good. Nobody talks about anything with them. They don;t talk to anybody about anything. My dh and his dad talk farming and politics *whoopie* my mil and talk about scrapbooking.......course when she looks at mine she complains that there are so many more pics of my parents with the kids than mil and fil with the kids.....well, that because you DON'T DO ANYTHING WITH MY KIDS!!!! Finally, after 15 years of nobody talking about any of the issues that we all know are there, but no one is allowed to talk about, my fil told my son to "shut-up" this spring. OK, my son has fetal alcohol syndrome, and his speech is very labored and quiet and difficult to understand. So my son was trying to talk to my fil....and of course my son doesnt get the whole personal space thing, so he was face to face with his grampa, and my fil pushed him out of the way and told him to shut up. I was hot!! :pdoff: :furious:Acutually, my heart is racing again as I type this!!!! Anyway, it ended up that I made my mil cry cause I told her that if someone didn;t tell her husband where to get off, I would be happy to be the one to break it to him!!! She started bawling, and my fil and I went at it screaming at each other......then dh got in the middle!!! huh huh huh Dh doens;t really like his parents, and he knows they don;t like me and I don;t like them,.....but in the end, they are his parents. So, I am now yelling at my dh about my fil IN FRONT OF MY FIL...and my fil is yelling at my dh about me in front of me, and in walks my bawling mil...........
OK, so maybe I did know how to put it in words...... In the end, my mil thought we should all pray about it........FINE.....WHATEVER.....GET ME OUTTA HERE!!!!

The best news? I haven't talked to them since March WHOOHOO!

I got to take deep breaths and calm down, I am worked up all over again!

:scratch:No MIL problems here. Shes dead.

:scratch::scratch::thud::lol:

I'm sorry but that's funny! I know it's not, but it made me have to clean my moniter here!!:grnwave:

kj

My MIL has gotten better overall. But then sometimes she even surprises me with some of the stuff she tries to pull and twist.

If she ever has to come to live with us, I'm installing nanny cameras so that I can prove my side of her stories with my husband. My poor DH doesn't know who to believe sometimes.

It got to a point once where I was about ready to start tape-recording our phone conversations. She'd say really horrible things to me on the phone and be really nice as long as anyone else was able to hear it.

If she ever starts that up again, I'm totally going start recording our conversations.

My other SIL has gotten way past up to here with her too. But they live on the other side of the country, so she doesn't get messed with too often.

On a day to day basis I get along with her really well, but I don't trust her one bit. I'd say that I don't trust her as far as I can throw her, but she's thin and I think I could actually throw her quite a fair distance. ;)

My Mil can be a handful. she has the tell it like it is personality and tells you what she thinks "because I am only thinking of you" Speaks her mind about anything and everyone. Well not everyone, just me and my kids. She treat my sil and children with kit gloves. My kids are the oldest of the grandchildren by 10 years, and now that the sil has kids, I have to hear all the mistakes I made with mine that sil isnt making with hers. Mine ate too much junk and got fat, they werent that good at sports and sil are superstars, it just goes on and on. Recently she went on and on about the way my kids look. How she thinks the tatoos ds1 has, the way he dresses is terrible, how she hates ds2 hair that he doesnt look clean. That she is embarrassed to be seen with them in public. I finally had enough and told her that if she had a problem with the my kids, it's her problem not mine, and that she has to deal with it herself. I dont have a problem with the way they look so too bad for her if she doesnt like it. She didnt talk to me for 2 months.
We got married young and she blames me for that. She said once that when she first met me she didnt think that I was dh type. She thinks that he married beneath his family. Not that he did, I just grew up in a working class neighborhood of the city and he grew up in a suburb. Dh family had all the material goods of the burbs 2 cars, clothes, vacations, all the trappings. I lived in a small house with one car and parents who knew how to save. 2 years ago my birthday present from my parents was a 2005 brand new car. without going on my mil is a big snob who thinks that if you dont have a big house, cars, and vacations you are nothing. But, when we were doing those things my mil said I was making dh work too much so I could go on vacations, renovate the house, and buy clothes. that's all for now, but I could go on.
:nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant::nrant:

Ok, that does it, gather em up, the ship leaves next Monday for that FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR away island we're shipping all the psychotic inlaws to!

ALLL ABOARD!!!!!

kj

Ok, that does it, gather em up, the ship leaves next Monday for that FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR away island we're shipping all the psychotic inlaws to!

ALLL ABOARD!!!!!

kj

Oo! That gives me an idea!

Reality Show!!

Put all the problem MIL's on an island and bring cameras.

I'd totally watch that.

Nancy

lol. with me i havent talked to my ex's mom since december. with her when i was cleaning her place to "pay for me staying there" it was never good enough for her, she had me get up at 6 to clean and then watch merrick all day, i had to take a few hrs nap b/c by the time afternoon came i was exhausted, both zack (the ex and merrick's dad) thought that merrick was in his bed to much (he got the 12 to 15 hrs he was supppsed to get), didnt like the way i diciplined merrick, the last straw was when she called me a negligent mother when i put merrick in his crib to clean up the broken bowl and cereal mess merrick made. when merrick was in his crib while i cleaned his dad was in the room with him.

Wow--all those perfect people shipped off somewhere?!?!? How would we (or anyone) live without being told how to live? Mine came over for dinner last week and said that she was going to send her husband over to prune my trees--I like them fine the way they are, thank you. I didn't complain about them at all. That's just her form of communication. She is also going to send him over to stagger our family pics up the stairs--again, I didn't ask for help nor did I say I wanted them in that hallway.

Now I would actually watch a reality show with all of our MIL on there cat-fighting and arguing and bi^ching at EACH OTHER instead of at us! :cheer4: That would be great. I have to say for the first time in 34 years, I would place bets on my MIL to win every and all fights. She's a pro. DH just got into it with her yesterday. (I LOVE those moments! :vamp:)

I never cross her or argue with her, I just politely say something like "Well, you may have something there." and walk away. Not worth it. I'm fairly non-confrontational anyway, and I think that drives her nuts. It's a passive aggressive approach I take with her. :angel:

Oh, another passive-aggressive thing I do with her is---she hates (for some reason) long flowy skirts and dangly earrings. When I had something like that on once she made some comment about me looking like a gypsy. So if we are going over there, I tell dh wait a minute I have to change and I throw on something kind of bohemian outfit. She likes very tailored, conservative dress and it makes her nuts and really embarrasses her if we are around her friends. :hurray:

(I like tailored too sometimes, but I like driving her crazy more). If you knew some of the things she's done and said to me and TO MY KIDS, you'd agree she deserves it. It's harmless fun anyway. :smirk: I never acted like that until after many years of abuse from her. Might as well entertain myself. LOL!

LOL cab, I've been guilty of driving my MIL insane too!

And on the reality show, my MIL wouldn't win, but she'd be in the kitchen cooking for everyone and whining about how she NEEEVEEER EVVVEEERRR SEEEEEEEEEES HER SOOOOOOOOOOOOON! As she was stuffing food into everyone!

kj

Ffarmwife--GOOD! Your MIL is elected chief cook and bottle washer On the island. My MIL hates to cook (and she had 5 sons, if you can imagine) and when she does its--:yucky: Oh well. I've complained enough. Thanks for the rant, all!:grnwave:

You ladies are a trip! Thanks for the entertainment - althought I didn't mean to laugh at your expense. Mine is like this ---->:angel:

Ok...I'll duck now. I don't want last week's sale tomatoes to smack me in the face.:biggrin:

If it makes you feel better my SIL makes up for it.;)

Mine overall isn't bad, but she loves to critize me to my hubbie (and he is quite the momma's boy) about my animals and how I am weird cause I won't let the kids eat junk food. He knows how mad I get so I only get bits and peices, but when the kids walk in the door to her house, she hands them a pop and a bag of doritoes (no joke) and smiles at me........she never thinks the house is clean enough, never mind when you walk in her house it is like a bar at closing, you have a hard time making out who is in the room due to smoke..........even on my worst day my house is way cleaner than hers and she has never worked outside the house, and I work 10 hrs a day!!!!


OK I'M DONE, SORRY.......:blah:

Oo! That gives me an idea!

Reality Show!!

Put all the problem MIL's on an island and bring cameras.

I'd totally watch that.

Nancy

I think we should also put some of their sons on the island with them, too, since they think that their son's stuff don't stink!! LOL

My MIL is my ex-MIL now, so I just get to look at her like she is crazy (and she is) and walk off!!

NEWS FLASH! :grwave:

MIL went to the doctor the other day and confided to my dh that doc put her on Paxil and Xanax. Yay!! :tay: These are only anti-anxiety, and she needs anti-psychotics, but HEY I'll take whatever makes her tolerable. Praise GOD! ;) :yoyo:

But---they have put her on antidepressants and anti-anxiety drugs before and she lasted about 5 days, and didn't like that she felt 'calm and relaxed'. :smhelp: HELLOOOOOO! That is the IDEA, woman!

:tmi: I have hope though...........34 years of misery. Sigh.

Well, she is not my MIL anymore, but for the time that she was, she tried her best to make my life living ***. :censor: Before we were married, ex-DH and I went to visit his family (they lived in GA, we lived in AZ) and his mother treated me horribly. She would insult me and my family right in front of me. She begged him to move back in with her and even tried to bribe him with a new car. Unfortunately it was FIL who paid for our plane tickets and somehow a one week visit turned into a month! I was literally STUCK there because they kept delaying our return flight. It was miserable.

So fast forward to wedding reception. Ex-DH and I had just been married. FIL and SIL #2 came, but MIL refused. Anyway, ex-DH's phone rings at the reception and it's... yep... MIL. She was crying, begging him not go to through with the wedding -- umm... hello lady??? LOL. I stole her precious little "baby" and I guess she fully intended to make me pay!

Of course, I ended up filing for divorce (for other reasons) and OBVIOUSLY proved MIL right... yanno, about how horrible I am and how I was only using her son. Ex-DH and I are still on friendly terms and I have seen posts on his MySpace from lovely SIL #1 about how she cannot believe he is still friends with my "fat @**", etc. Great family, eh? So sorry I am not apart of it anymore -- NOT.

As a side note: I love my new in-laws-to-be! :)

WOW, Stephanie---You WIN! :chug:

That is unbelieveable how your ex-MIL acted toward you! Calling at your reception (not attending) and crying for her baby back! She beats my MIL. Don't we all feel sorry for the NEXT woman who dates your ex?

*here's to hoping the hubby never sees this*

My mother-in-law actually sent an adoption agency to my house (without warning) when I was pregnant with my son, along with telling me I had ruined her sons life. Also, she told me I wasn't a 'real christian' and apparently had never really attended a 'real christian church' because I don't think that homosexuality is wrong.

Lovely!

But for good measure I should say that as of right now we are getting along really well...so fingers crossed!!

My ex-MIL was sweet as sugar pie the whole time I was with my ex. Why? Because then he wasn't her responsibility anymore! He was bipolar, and she knew for a fact that was the case -- she had it, her brother had it, her mother had it (they couldn't go back any farther because her mother was adopted) and both her children had it. She knew for a fact they both were bipolar and never bothered to do anything about it whatsoever. So when he turned 18 and moved out with me to go to school, she didn't bother with him much at all. I had moved away to go to school and without me there to "raise" him, he suffered a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital. The day he went in, he called her because he needed someone (i.e. a woman) to take care of him. She drove him to the hospital, then went grocery shopping for the day. Then after the visit to the psyche ward, she took him home and dropped him off at his place all by himself and left him there -- he was supposed to be on suicide watch, and she knew this! She was angry at me because I'd gone away to go to school and wasn't there to babysit her son anymore.

When he had to quit school, they practically dropped him off at my doorstep, without actually asking me if that was okay. She loved me again, then. And once I tried to leave him for good, she stormed into my apartment and called me everything but a white girl (pardon the phrase) and told me I was being neglectful and a horrible person.

So yeah, I definitely belong in this kith. :P

Praise the Goddess that :smooch:'s mom is awesome and sane. When he and I decided to move in together, he called her to tell her about it. She was thrilled and said, "You know, if you ever break up with Nada, I'm just going to adopt her to keep her in the family." :D

wow! i really belong here.

my mil is a real witch to me and our daughter's but not dh or ds. my dh is the favorite son and ds is the favorite grandchild. for years, they both got great christmas presents, while everyone else in the family either got socks or books. (i got the same book for 5 years straight!) when i say every one in the family, i mean all her other children and their kids also watched this!

she talks about me behind my back to everyone in the family, but will be just as nice as can be to my face. she tells them that i am not a good mother, that i am unclean, am a heathen, all sorts of things because i took her baby from her.

my dh was divorced and had custody of his son when we married. she was taking care of ds when dh worked. so she blames me for taking her son and his son from her.

what gets me, is that she is married to a retired preacher. she will write us letters and quote scripture to us all the time. but she does not live what she preaches.

she is mean to everyone, tries to control how much contact we all have with each other, gets mad when we go around her to talk to each other.

her and i have gotten into it several times. my dh sides with me all the time and that bothers her. (thank heavens!) even our kids don't want to have anything to do with her.

she is vindictive to the max!!!!!! just an example. my ds got into some trouble. he was staying with a sil to get away from his so called friends. she went to him and tried to get him to live with her. she was also calling me all sorts of names and basically talking bad about me. he told her to shut up, that i was more of a mom to him than that woman who gave birth to him and that he was not going to listen to her bad mouth me and tell him that everything that he had gotten into trouble for was my fault. he told her that he was the one that did the drugs, even though i had done everything to keep him away from them. that i was the one that had helped him get off the drugs and that i was the one that helped him when no one else would. she said that if he wanted to live with them, she would see that he got any help he needed, but he had to tell us that he wanted to live with them and that he never wanted to see me again. (he was only 15 at the time) he told her to go stuff herself. and that he would never do that to us. here is the vindictive part, she was saving money for all the kids for college. she all of the money she had saved for my kids and used it to remodel her house and then sent me and dh the reciepts of where she took the money out of the bank and just where she had spent the money. we have not been back to their house since.

oh, i could go on and on. but i have almost wrote a book.

here is the vindictive part, she was saving money for all the kids for college. she all of the money she had saved for my kids and used it to remodel her house and then sent me and dh the reciepts of where she took the money out of the bank and just where she had spent the money. we have not been back to their house since.

oh, i could go on and on. but i have almost wrote a book.[/QUOTE]

that sounds like something my ex's mom would do, since i left him a yr ago i havent seen most of my stuff or merricks stuff. the last time i was over at her place i looked everywhere i could on 2 floors for merricks stuff and i couldnt find anything. what i mean by his stuff is half his clothes that i didnt get to grab, his toys and books. wouldnt be surprised if they were thrown out along with my stuff last may/june.

My Mil gave dh a leather jacket, then three or four years later called him and told him she was giving it to another son. she made dh give it back. told us to box it. then had the nerve to tell us we had to wrap it nice for christmas.

My Mil gave dh a leather jacket, then three or four years later called him and told him she was giving it to another son. she made dh give it back. told us to box it. then had the nerve to tell us we had to wrap it nice for christmas.

How in the world did she justify her request? Did your husband consider saying no?

she didn't justify. she just decided it was time to give it to another one. no sense saying no, would have become a big crazy much to do. just the was it was. :fence:

Not to take up for your MIL, but perhaps she is starting to get demented. I mean from dementia - the part that comes before the Big A. My mother is in the second stages of Alzheimer's now and she is only 74. When she started becoming a little confused and very defensive, she also became very mean and very ugly. If you disagreed with her- she would threaten to call the sheriff's office. She threatened to harm her sister on mulitiple occasions and she was the one that finally moved her to assisted living. I was living overseas at the time. Now that I am back stateside, we have moved Momma closer to us. She barely knows me from a stranger much less that she is in an Alzheimer's unit in a different state. So, if you MIL is meaner than normal, it could be dementia. Good luck honey and I feel for you!
Dianne

Missy, my MIL is also the queen of 'giving means loaning'. :rolleyes:

I can't tell you how many times she's given us something, like say--furniture--and then said she wants it back, says it was only a loan. :screwy: And she had actually used the term 'give' when she 'gave' it. And then she'll give it to one of dh's brothers, because she decides they need it worse. I had my kids' clothes laying in piles on the floor once, for months, because she decided that some dressers that she'd given us should now go to his brother.

Not to take up for your MIL, but perhaps she is starting to get demented. I mean from dementia - the part that comes before the Big A. My mother is in the second stages of Alzheimer's now and she is only 74. When she started becoming a little confused and very defensive, she also became very mean and very ugly. If you disagreed with her- she would threaten to call the sheriff's office. She threatened to harm her sister on mulitiple occasions and she was the one that finally moved her to assisted living. I was living overseas at the time. Now that I am back stateside, we have moved Momma closer to us. She barely knows me from a stranger much less that she is in an Alzheimer's unit in a different state. So, if you MIL is meaner than normal, it could be dementia. Good luck honey and I feel for you!
Dianne

Its no longer a problem. just sucked at the time. she passed away mothers day 06 suddenly.

Oh I am so it the right thread! LOL!!! My MIL can be a real...well you know! THe one thing off the top of my head was when I decided to get a job to catch us on bill, when she found out she called my DH and was screaming at him on the phone telling him out I am a terrible mother.:surprise:The whole time I could hear her. I will never forget that! I give my all to my girls! I was getting a job to take some of the burden off of her son! Another time she was talking about my SIL who was getting ready to have a baby, and how she was sterilizing everything....she looks at me and says not that you sterilized anything! The nerve of this women! How dare she, My house is not perfect but it is clean and safe for her grand daughters! She needs to take a look at her own house! I could go on but there is no use getting my BP up!

Oh and the Loaning thing I get to! SHe gave us a dresser for DD that was DH when he was a baby. All the sudden she demanded it back!!!! Then about a month later we were over and she gave it to my SIL and I hot about that one!!!!!!!!!

My MIL is something eles.She has nevered like me.She told my husband of almost 25 years she is onlu marrying you for your money.My husband had no money.Then she told him she will leave you with all those children why do you have to have so many we have 4.Well that didnt happen.She tried to make my husband pick between his family now or his Mom and Dad he told her Mom this is not right please dont do this she did so my husband pick us we have not talked to her in 14 years my husband did not want this but she hates me and I dont know why.So I am with you guys on the big ship of fools going I dont care

My mil called me not once, but twice yesterday (my own fault for not having caller ID) and interrogated me on whether or not we'll be spending Christmas eve with them. Keep in mind that we will see them on Christmas morning (at 9 a.m. which is WAYYYY to early to put up with them, but I'm going along with it). I told her that dh and I haven't discussed our plans (we haven't) so I wasn't sure. She didn't like that at all. WTH?? Do we REALLY need to see them both days? I will need a tranquilizer--I swear!

My mom is in the hospital and still will be over Christmas, but NOBODY from dh's family takes into consideration that I have a family I would like to spend time with, too.

DH LOVES to spend time with his family over the holidays. He sees them atleast once/week throughout the year. He has fond memories of spending time with his extended family as a child and wants the same for our kids. I understand that, but honestly????? Both days??????

What do you think?

Forgot to add that it's extended family on Christmas eve--about 50 people there (atleast)--everyone brings a dish so it's not like they are waiting on us to find out how much food they'll need, etc.

merrick will be going to ex's dad's place on christmas day from 3 til about 8 or 9. im hoping that ex wont show up here and try to talk to me.

Kith number 7 for me.:rollsmile

My favorite mil statement: (one of many)

"I am the matriarch of this family."

Me to myself: I didn't know this was the mafia.

SIL's are worse than her and she coaches
them. Good thing we live five states away.