Ok, the moment I have been dreading. She has been 'going with' this boy for about a year and a half. At this moment in time, they are both getting on each others nerves. She is very emotional. I don't think I am being much help. I am just listening and not giving too much advice. Anything else I could do?

Aww, I wouldn't be 18 again if you PAID me! Nothing worse than that first love that goes bad, so sorry for you and her.

I'd say just be there and listen, don't say anything about him, just listen and be patient.

Hugs to ya,
kj

Be her Rock.....sounds like she knows she has a good mommy that listens to her and lets her cry on her shoulder.

Kind Regards,
leezza

Sounds like a good couple Quarts of decadent choc icecream and a couple of spoons.. and just listen. Goodluck..

Just listen. Lots of chocolate helps too.

I agree with all above. Just let her know that you're there for her whenever she needs you. Listen and don't speak badly of him or even offer any advice unless she asks for it. Let her know that you know what she's going through because you've been there before and that you love her, always. Good luck to you, and her. This will pass soon.

Emily...
It's at times like these when I liked being the parent of a toddler soooo much better. Back when all their hurts and booboo's could be fixed with a hug, a popsicle, and a spiderman band-aid.
We just went thru something slightly similar with our soon to be 17 son. He was dating a girl hubb and I really really didnt care for or approve of. Fortunately we have a good, open relationship with DS so he would come talk to us about her alot. I listened and just let him know I was there for him whenever he needed me no matter what. I did alot of "playing devils advocate" too by asking him questions and letting HIM work out the issues in his head, so that eventually HE made the decision that it was not a good relationship for him, and I got rewarded for it by earning cool mom points for being there for him and not critisizing her. And best part was the tongue reattachment surgery only took about 20 mins and was mostly painless.:crackup:

Thanks guys. So far, all I have done is listen. I am trying NOT to offer advice. And I really couldn't talk bad about the poor guy, cuz there isn't really anything bad to say. That is what is so sad. They just seem to be going in different directions. I did tell her that all relationships have rough patches and if you truly love someone you can ride out the storm.

Another bad thing... she doesn't even LIKE chocolate!!

Two words: SAY NOTHING! Absolutely nothing you can say in this situation will be of any help. I know that sounds cold and hollow, but trust me, if you don't want to be the enemy, be a good listener, say lots of nice things about her to her and just plain be nice, but don't mention the boyfriend, don't give advice and just stay out. I'm sure you've got tons of advice but I went through this stuff a few years ago, and my Mom and I got into so many fights -- we pretty much stopped talking for over a year. It was my fault, because she "didn't know anything" and was "trying to rule my life" :blah: and I shut her out. Looking back, I wish I'd taken her advice. But I wasn't ready to hear it. So I think that unless you get asked directly for some advice, just being a good listener and friend (re: NOT A MOM!) is the best thing you can do for her right now.

:lol: Sorry to sound so cold and shallow. I just know the mindset of those girls -- I was one up to three years ago. :P

Thanks guys. So far, all I have done is listen. I am trying NOT to offer advice. And I really couldn't talk bad about the poor guy, cuz there isn't really anything bad to say. That is what is so sad. They just seem to be going in different directions. I did tell her that all relationships have rough patches and if you truly love someone you can ride out the storm.

Another bad thing... she doesn't even LIKE chocolate!!
Maybe french fries then?

Now there is something she likes... McDonald's french fries.

I have an 18 year-old daughter too. Just listening is best. I miss the days when you wiped their tears, hugged them, and gave them an encouraging word.

A lot of the time emotions get thrown at an available target which is not necessarily the root of the problem. 18 is an age of many changes and stresses - they both may have a supply of fears about growing up and becoming independent and leaving their homes and friends - and it can make either or both of them rather temperamental. I'd just try to be patient, and not get in the middle of anything.

She is a bright girl with a good head on her shoulders (we know that apple did not fall far from the tree :) ) . She will figure it all out and do what is right for her, I think just being there and being a shoulder to cry on and a strong support is the important thing right now. If it is in the plan for them to work it out, they will and if not, then there is someone more perfect out there for her. :hugz: to you both.

She is a bright girl with a good head on her shoulders (we know that apple did not fall far from the tree :) ) . She will figure it all out and do what is right for her, I think just being there and being a shoulder to cry on and a strong support is the important thing right now. If it is in the plan for them to work it out, they will and if not, then there is someone more perfect out there for her. :hugz: to you both.


Thank you Katybird, that brought tears to my eyes.

Thank you all.

It's been over a month of them trying to work this thing out. It is driving me insane. LOL! Last night they had a big argument. I could hear DD18 yelling at him on the phone. They haven't spoken all day. One day they are great, the next not. This is the first time though that I have heard the loud voice.