Well, this really takes the cake. I received a bill from my ex wanting me to pay half of the kids expenses when he has them. He wants me to pay half for his gas, half for the food the kids eat, etc.

This comes from a guy who has not paid a cent of child support since November '06 and a payment was made then to keep him out of jail. I have a call in to my attorney to see what he has to say.

holy cow, what a jerk!! Good luck. Hope your lawyer can help.

ummm so who pays for the kids when YOU have them??is that split?

WHAT AN IDIOT!!!:yikes:

I'm sorry I know it's not funny but I had to laugh. I think I just heard of someone as stupid as my ex. You're lawyer will have a field day with this one.

He either has cajones of mass proportions or is short a few brain cells. Combination of both can be fatal :toothy:

Do we have the same ex?? I hate to laugh at others expense, but this made me chuckle. Are they really that stupid?

Things like this are a constant reminder of why we got a divorce in the first place!!

Well that just takes the cake. I am a little confused as to why he things this okay.

Tell him he has to pay you 1/2 of the expenses for when they are with you! What a jerk!

Ummm, tell ya what, let me have 5 minutes with the JERK! LORDY men like that need castrated!! GRRRRRRRRR!!

I'm telling you ladies, line em up and let me at em!!

kj

He either has cajones of mass proportions or is short a few brain cells. Combination of both can be fatal :toothy:

:lol3: :crackup::laugh::crackup::laugh::crackup: :lol3:

I could not have said it better!!!

Grrrr! Sounds like it's time to have the D.A. garnish his wages for child support!

I can't even believe the nerve of him!!! I hope the lawyer helps stick it to him, so that he ends up paying you for a year of back child support. I am so sorry you are in this situation! (HUGS)!

I just couldn't believe it when I got the bill. In spite of eveything, I did find it funny.

Kj, I'm in need of some of that stinkeye. I know you could take care of him.

He has an order with CSEA (child support enforcement agency) but he works under the table or out of state so they can't find him. He owes me about $15,000 and asked me if I would forgive the back payments so he could buy a house. He even filed bankruptcy, but they wouldn't take the back support off.

Of course, he doesn't pay me when I have the kids. I love them and would never degrade them by asking him for half of the money when I have them.
Sometimes I just can't figure out men. This letter did not come from his attorney; it came directly from him!!

Let me get this straight:
he owes you $15,000 in back support, works under the table to avoid paying what he owes and wants you to waive that $$ so he can buy a house....what a maroon. Well why don't you just co sign a mortgage loan for him too...jeesh!

I just HATE it when exes nickel and dime so that it sounds like all they think about is that time with their kids is costing them $$, as opposed to focusing on the fact they are a parent and need to spend time with their kids & pay the bills associated with being a parent. I would suggest he get a lawyer if he has a case.

Perhaps you could put a little smiley face sticker on a copy of the letter and give it back to him with a "nice try" comment written in red...kinda like when you were back in school and the teacher would grade the papers!

On another note, if you know how to reach him, can't you let the collection agency know so you can get a judgement and get some money?

That is incredible. I'm glad you've already contacted your attorney.

Tell your ex what my daddy would have said---"Not no, but HELL no!"

Hmmm...
a few fries short of a Happy Meal?
not the brightest crayon in the box?
elevator doesn't go all the way to the top?

Sorry that wasn't nice, but I am with claimsgirl66, can they not just spend time with their children without thinking about it costing them money???

Hummm, he works under the table and wants you to forgive the owed money so he can buy a house? Well, since he's working under the table to avoid taxes and crap how is he going to show proof of income to purchase a home?

I am surprised the child support agency in your area doesnt FORCE him to get a job, I know they did with my DH when he was laid off and collecting unemployment they made him get a job or he would go to jail.

Let me get this straight:
Perhaps you could put a little smiley face sticker on a copy of the letter and give it back to him with a "nice try" comment written in red...kinda like when you were back in school and the teacher would grade the papers!

I love this idea!

What a :loser:!

You know, you can INSIST that they investigate his sources of income. If they find him working under the table, they will turn him in to the IRS. On second thought, YOU can turn him in to the IRS anonymously, or just do it and tell them he's $15,000 arrears in child support, and working under the table, not paying taxes. Let him try to buy a house when they hit him with THAT bill!

[QUOTE=autumnlynn;767034]I just couldn't believe it when I got the bill. In spite of eveything, I did find it funny.

Kj, I'm in need of some of that stinkeye. I know you could take care of him.

Oh this needs more than the stink eye, this needs the WHOOPIN STICK!!!

:beat::beat::beat::beat:

He has an order with CSEA (child support enforcement agency) but he works under the table or out of state so they can't find him. He owes me about $15,000 and asked me if I would forgive the back payments so he could buy a house. He even filed bankruptcy, but they wouldn't take the back support off.

:screwy::screwy::screwy: It's official, that man has MORE than one screw loose! OMG ARE YOU SERIOUS? Tell me your joking? I didn't think it was possible to be that bad!!

QUOTE]

Nope, I wouldn't kid about this. He is that bad. I did tell the CSEA lady (we are on a first name basis!!), they send out letters but haven't been able to catch him. My attorney filed a contempt order last year and he almost ended up in jail but he made a payment to me to keep him out. My attorney will want to refile the order, but I just hate to see him put in jail because if he is, we're surely not going to collect anything. I don't know where he is working but he told me himself that he was working. I told the lady at CSEA that he had to be working to survive, but she said they had to find out where. She said they sent him a registered letter for a hearing, but he never picked it up or signed for it.

He said I am ruining his life because, in his words, 'I have everything and he has nothing' and it isn't fair. His attorney did file last year to suspend payments when his teaching contract wasn't renewed. That's when my attorney filed the contempt order and he almost went to jail.

He said I am ruining his life because, in his words, 'I have everything and he has nothing' and it isn't fair


Ohhh wahhh, the POOR POOR baby! Ummmm, yeah you have EVERYTHING, you have the kids, YOUR bills, YOUR job, YOUR stress, YOUR responsibilities.

UGH, I'm sorry, it's NOT funny, but a man that stupid IS funny, you know?:bang::bang:

I'll tell you, dealing with my good friend and her soon to be X that lives with the *ahem* woman over the hill and her kids, I'd have NEVER believed people to be SO stupid but they are, and yep, it's the men! My friends hubby says he won't pay a penny until the courts say he has to, but even when they do he doesn't have JACK SQUAT to pay, the girlfriend is SUCKING it all out of him as fast as she can! And he's whining poverty and "no fair" too, urgh!

Sigh, it MUST be a testosterone thing, the IDIOTS!

Hugs to ya!:grouphug:

kj

dumb idiot. with merrick's dad he tried to get me to have him only pay for food, diapers and wipes i said no, he also wanted me to agree to joint custody i said no b/c his mom would watch him while he is at work or out wherever he goes. his mom was abusive to him and probbably would have been to merrick if ether we had stayed or i had agreed to joint custody. i still need to file for child support and get merrick's birth certificate. for his birth certificate i have everything filled out i just need to get our records from the dr.

His attorney did file last year to suspend payments when his teaching contract wasn't renewed. That's when my attorney filed the contempt order and he almost went to jail.

He is/was a teacher?! Oh boy! My ex was going to be a teacher, too, and was substituting. What's funny is that my ex is working under the table now too and being supported by his wife or welfare and has not paid any child support in years and years. But they take vacations out of the country and just bought a house last year, have 2 newer cars and seem to be in fine shape while I have to buy my daughter used clothing, shoes and coats to get by.

But yours takes the cake!

Yes, he is a teacher. I was told they can suspend his teaching license but before teaching he did professional photography. That is how he is working under the table. He even told me he is doing photography, but I don't know where or for whom.

He said even criminals get a clean slate after they do their time and since "he did his time", he deserves to start out with a clean slate!! He said he just wants his life back and not to have to keep looking over his shoulder all the time.

the government can take the money out of his pay checks and send it directly too you. Only this dosnt help you cuz he gets payed in cash.

This sounds like my dad. He tryed this shit once. It was depressing. I remember being disgusted and wanting him to go away.

Even though my mother was evil and hated me she at least kept me in her house for a long time. Dear old dad dumpped me off first chance he got.

A few years ago i was at the track working out and some guy i didnt recongnise came walking twords me staring at me. He was ugly and creapy. I pulled out my cell phone to call the police if something happened. He then said my name, which got my attenchen. He just kept talking to me like he new me. It took a few momnets but i finaly recognised him as my dad.

While it is importent to children to have a dad, sometimes we would rather him be gone then around if hes bad.

This jerk hasn't paid child support in a year yet expects expenses from you. Let him take you to court and see what the judge will say. The judge would probably laugh in his face and attach garnishes to his wages for back child suport. Deadbeat dads make me sick.

What a Grade A jerk!

Ya know it might be a good time to play "commando" and catch him in the act. The IRS would love him and whoever he is working for. Also the state could then watch him.

Kellie

I just thought I would drop a little information on this subject.....I used to do payroll at an old job of mine and I can tell you that if you have outstanding child support in California it never goes away.....I was doing deductions for a guy and his kid was in his 20s......and he had to pay it out of every check. Now, I don't know if his X was on assistance or not......But I would suggest that you never let him off the hook.....

JMHO,
leezza

I wonder if he will eventually do what my dad did (not that it will help what's owed from the past) and voluntarily surrender his parental rights just so he doesn't have to pay the CS :(

This thread has made me so sad. Im angry that so many of you have or know dads that are dead beats. What the heck is wrong with men that they can see there children as a burden? I know my dh would never fight me about money for my kids , he would hand over every penny and live in a shelter if her had too. But then that might be one of the reasons we have such a good marriage.

Hmm.

My ex and a lady didn't get married so that Medical would pay for the kid they'd created. He's on his 3rd? 4th? wife. I was the first. Although I always wanted kids, I will say that I was always grateful I never had his.

I had an acquantaince, a divorced dad, whose hours got greatly reduced, to like $60/week, and they nearly threw him in jail over the lack of support payments, because he didn't make enough at the moment for the payments. That struck me as unfair.

All that said, however, DH has done pro photography too. Someone has to be buying his services, somehow. If you can find the area where he's advertising, using a color lab, etc. you can probably find his income stream. Wedding photography makes $, but you need a storefront or advertising or something. I'd try doing a google search of his name and see what pops up. If it's out of state, try looking there for greensheets, want advertisers, etc. and see if there's any ads that look like your ex. Also, assuming he (or someone) has a phone, trying googling that and see if it shows up in a bulletin board, craigslist, ad booklet.

Of course, if he's doing commercial photography with a company under the table, you're stuck.

I hope something here helps!

Judi

lol My ex did the same thing -- he got his lawyer to send me a letter (it went to my lawyer because I didn't want him to know where I was) asking me to pay half of his legal fees because he was a student at the time. The bugger was too used to me paying for everything and couldn't handle his money! :shake:

Sorry, but this one had me :rofl:. Come on, give me a break!!!

It is so sad to hear stories about parental neglect of this sort. That being said, I believe each parent should have a turn at having custody of the children and paying child support. Each mother should have custody and receive support from the father. Non payment would be punishable. Then each father should have a turn with custody, and the mother paying support. Non payment punishable .Let each side have a turn, with both custody, and with support.May give each insight.

My stepfather surrendered his rights to my sister. He claimed he didn't know where she was for five years (despite the fact that my brother that lived with him had come up to visit) and a judge allowed it. I just can't believe anyone can do that. A paper doesn't mean anything. What a slap in the face to my sister too. Now she knows she was truly never wanted by her own father. I imagine these people all get theirs in the end.

Then you have people on the other end of the spectrum. My dh's stepmother was having an affair for two years and divorced my fil during a year he was working twenty hours a week overtime and had the highest income of his life. His company stopped offering overtime the next year and he lost almost $20k in income with nothing he could do about it. He tried to go back to court twice to have his support lowered by $100 a month (he was paying her almost $600 for one child) and the judge denied it both times. That baffles me. He ended up having to get a second job just to pay his bills. Meanwhile, his ex married her affair who was making more than fil to begin with and they bought new cars every year, a hot tub, a camp, new pool, etc.... And....she worked pt and refused to work anymore than that so her child support wouldn't get cut despite the fact that her daughter was a teenager. I just don't understand. My fil gave her half of his 401K (per her demand) and the house and took nothing for himself. Now, people on the other end of the spectrum really bug me too. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too and she did. Her dd is starting college this year and she didn't save a dime towards it and her and her new dh are further in debt. How do people do that to themselves?

wow there are some STUPID people in the world aren't there? my brother is on the other side of the spectrum. the lawyers proved he was the better parent and that his ex wife was a pathological liar, abuser etc. etc. and they still gave her full custody. the custody papers even said that the courts didn't find her more fit, but they were giving her custody anyway. now shes still married to her 2nd hubby, living in a different state with a new boyfriend and pawns off my neice every chance she gets. since the begining of the year, shes had my neice a grand total of 80 days. but she still demands every penny of that child support. ooops, forgot to add the courts did take my neice away from her mother for 8 months once since she withheld medication and my neice ended up in the hospital. the ex was then suppose to pay my brother child support. she didn't do it of course so when my brother took her back to court to get full custody himself, the judge said he changed his mind and gave my neice back to her mother and dismissed all back child support.

If he "has them" then he can be found at some times. If they have a warrant out on him, they can serve it when he comes to pick up the kids, or the bring them back. I'm sorry, but sometimes a little trip to jail can provide a BIG incentive to avoitd going back again.

Autumn, how repulsive! I think that your ex and mine are long-lost twins - separated at birth. My ex has the same vile mentality. Sometimes when he has the girls he plays the bigshot and takes them to a fancy restaurant and drops $150 on a meal, or drops a couple hundred dollars to take them to an amusement park, and it TICKS ME OFF!!!!!!! We don't get to go do lots of fun stuff because we are busy trying to get through the everyday. He did not so much as buy them a package of freakin' crayons for back-to-school, and yet he thinks I should pay his legal fees since he is broke.

This makes me ILL. Your ex is as horrible as mine. There should be a special place in Anartica to ship these men to and make them work off their back support in horrible surroundings. I am irate for you!!!

Despite his gall and audacity, at least you can feel content in knowing how pathetic and laughable his little motion is. Big hugs from the victim of another deadbeat.

He may have signed his death warrant (financially speaking) with that bill. The court system will have a field day with this one. Especially since he's not contributing to their support. They will make an example out of him. All you'll have to do is sit there prim and proper and barely say a word. So don't feel sorry for him. It's all his own doings. You get what you give!!!

I always loved it when one of our female judges used to ask the men in traffic court if they paid their child support. (They always complained about having no money to pay their fines). Nearly all of them said they didn't pay their child support.

Boy. . .she would go off on them. . .these were her standard sayings:

Do you eat? Who feeds you? Do you think your kids don't need to be fed?

Where do you live? Who puts a roof over your head? Do you think your kids don't need a roof over their heads?

Who provides your clothes for you? Do you think your kids don't need clothing?

And then she goes on a bit more. . .and whenever they start to protest. . .she tells them to "shut up". She then tells them that she doesn't want to hear their excuses for being a dead-beat dad, that they should be ashamed of themselves, what kind of example are they setting and they need to keep their zippers up and quit producing babies that they refuse to take care of!!

Sorry for all the problems you're having. But remember no matter what happens he will pay in the end as the kids will remember. They don't forget ANYTHING!!! My SD's mother told the courts (over the phone) that she shouldn't have to pay support because she is handicapped. She's a crackhead for crying out loud. Thats the only thing wrong with her. She doesn't have to pay a cent but on the up side she hasn't contacted us in 6 months.

I can't say it suprised me. Sad ha? Well I don't know where you live, but here in Calif. who ever has the kids with the for visitation or otherwise is responsible for the childs, food, clothing and other expenses. A friend of mine has a really bad ex. The lawyer told her to send the kids with the clothes on their backs. It was up to him to provide clothes for when they stay with him. When child support figures the amount the absent parent is to pay, the take a look at the amount of time a child is to spend with that parent. This way they do take into consideration the food and clothing that they are to spend on their child while they are with them.
Good luck

I have friends that have this kind of moron as a daddy for their kids. It seems that he is under the impression that you are the parent and that he is the babysitter... Scuze me for saying it, but it has to be said... what a stupid person (and & unfortanately I do know some deadbeat moms that are just like this...).

I would talk to the IRS, tell them where he works, his address, his phone #, that he is getting paid under the table and is NOT paying taxes, and that he does owe child support... and this type of person, usually is breaking even more laws along the way... & definitely do the "happyface" nice try... lol! that was hysterical!:applause:

& I don't know that I'd tell him that I'd just "sicked" the IRS on him, at least not until he pays every last dime he owes & the kids are no longer in the house...lol...

But this IS about your kids and HIS responsibility for them and sometimes you just do what you have to do.... of course, if he complaines that the IRS are coming after him, you can always tell him what he doles out (OBVIOUSLY) will come back to him in the same way but usually on a MUCH higher scale....

In the meantime, find another single mom & swap nights cooking during the week & possibly every now & then during the weekends to "cook" together... that is what a friend of mine & I did (she was my neighbor downstairs) and now we are the best of friends! (she doesn't have help w/her x either... he went to prison for trying to kill her and the baby when she was 7 months preggers with him ... the baby is now almost 5! The jerk has another 10? yrs in prison...& will not know where they live after he gets out...).

Keep smiling & know that God loves you and WILL take care of you and your children...

Kim

I'm glad my ex didn't think of this, sounds like the way his brain works. I gave up on child support years ago, it wasn't worth the hassle. Haven't heard a word from him since I pulled out of maintenance enforcement, so it was worth it to me (esp. since he wasn't paying anyway). If he'd come up with this scheme though, maybe he would have actually taken her for visitation.

I'm sad for you, it sucks trying to raise a child with a selfish imbecile.

If you want to respond though, tell him to send you a cheque for $15000 and you'll mail him back the change.