A little background - I am a sahm of a 15 month old and 4 month old. We live in a tiny house that we are in the process of remodeling, which is how we got into such a tight mess. My husband brings home around $345 a week. This is after taxes, insurance, 401k, child support for his daughter from previous marriage, and payroll deduction for our remodeling project. We have 10 more weeks of payroll deduct and then his check will go up an extra $80 weekly. We have absolutely no ef or even change and I am always running to keep up on the checking account so we don't go into the negative. You know, writing the house payment because its already two weeks late and praying they don't cash it for 5 more days at which point something else is already due or overdue and I have to try to get it to the next payday etc. I hope that made sense! I am always looking for ways to make extra money - ebay, yard sales, etc. I am to the point where I cannot find anything to even sell. I do have a small job working as a courier for a bank. I can take the girls with me and it takes me one hour round trip, to and from home. I get paid $50 a week for that.
Bills - House payment $225 - to my everlasting shame we have been a month behind since dd #2 was born in June.
Car pymt - $250 - one more year to go. This is my vehicle. Its a sub so a huge gas hog and I am always carefully planning my trips as to maximize my gas.
Cell phone - $195 - this is for 4 phones, my dh, mine, my fil and mil. Nothing extra except ins. We pay for my inlaws phone bill because we bought our truck #2 from them. The cell bill is what we pay instead of making pymt. Again, one more year to go on this vehicle.
Student loan - $100 - we are not able to defer this until we make 9 ontime monthly payments, which of course we CANNOT do!
Groceries - we do get WIC which helps a lot and I pack dhs lunch every day. We eat a lot of one pot meals, and crockpot beans. I try to make it as healthy as I can. No prepackaged cookies, chips or junk.
Dh's med copay is $30 monthly.
Water, sewer and trash runs about $60 a month. Which seems outrageous to me but ?
Cable internet - $30 - I justify this by getting free stuff online, doing surveys like dealbarbiepays (I make an extra $60 monthly here) and ebaying. What do you think?
Our heat is gas. We havn't had a heating bill yet but last year it ran around $150 monthly tops. I bundle the kids up all day. I fight my dh about this constantly. He wants it broiling in here. I finally broke down and told him that excessive heat contributes to SIDS (I'm sure I read that somewhere)
Electric - We are currently in a payment plan with them where I divided up our highest summer bill into 6 payments so right now its about $90 monthly what with the extra payment. I do try to unplug chargers and turn off lights.
Our highest bill is gas for the vehicles. I really can't wait to get the sub paid off so we can trade it for something cheaper on gas, especially now that gas has gone to $3 a gallon.
I do have $10 a week going directly from paycheck to ING savings account and there is $30 in there right now. I had to rob it recently to pay for some stove wire.
We don't have any credit card debt but do have terrible credit - mostly medical bills - and I eventually want to get that stuff paid. But right now I am having a hard enough time just getting the regular stuff paid. I have placed a free ad in our daily newspaper for babysitting in my home so I can stay at home with my girls. I hope that works out. I justify my not working by saying that the daycare would eat up my paycheck. Which I'm not sure is true. I do not have a degree or any special skill so I would only have an entry level job anywhere. I'm afraid my wanting to stay home is selfish and stupid. I just tried so long and hard to have these girls (6 years!) that I don't want to give up a second. I am not a complete idiot however. I know we need help. Give it to me straight!! :) What do ya'll think? What can I do? Christmas is absolutely an afterthought at this moment.

Thank you for your help!!!
Stephanie

Can you sell one vehicle?

How much do you spend on Groceries?

electric seems a bit high, can you get off the budget plan and go strictly month to month. I think you could cut back quite a bit on that. using candles in the early evening, cooking in the crock pot, hanging laundry, etc.

By the way, I don't think you are selfish to want to stay home, I think that is a great thing to be able to do...it is true about childcare eating up your paycheck in a lot of cases, especially if you would have an entry level job/pay. I think taking in a daycare child or two is a great idea.

Any possibilities of putting the cell phone bill off for a couple of months to catch up? That is a lot of money.

What about your dh taking on a second job, many are looking for seasonal workers with the holidays approaching. Or delivering pizzas or something like that? Just to bring in a little extra to get you caught up. The end of some of the expenses is close enough that at least it doesn't have to seem like a forever thing.

Your income seems pretty low and you have 2 kids...makes me think that maybe there is some public help you can get with bills? Also maybe help with a bill or two from a church if you belong to one?

I honestly don't see how. My veh is financed through a tote your note place due to our lack of good credit. We traded in our car for it (the engine was about to go and there was a carbon monoxide problem which wasn't safe for the babies) and I don't think I could get enough out of it to pay off the loan. If we did manage to sell one then DH would drive it to work and I wouldn't be able to do my job, which I realize as I write this that I wouldn't really need to do if I didn't have the truck in the first place. I really didn't want to trade in the car which was paid for and fought my husband on it, but it would have cost 1400 to fix and it really was horrible for the kids to ride around in. We could try to sell my husbands truck but again, I don't think we could get enough out of it to pay off my inlaws. But maybe I'm not thinking hard enough. I will talk with DH about it. Its absolutely more important to me to be able to keep our house than have two vehicles. Thank you for your help!
Stephanie

Sounds like you would qualify for some assistance. I would try and apply for foodstamps. See if you qualify for energy asst. with your heating company.
Are you using cloth diapers?? If not this would save you alot. Even if you have to use dish towels until you can get some cloth ones.
Can you get a job on the hours your husband does not work and then you will not have to pay for daycare.
Keep plugging away at the bills and when the extra $80 gets back in the budget things should lighten up some.
I would not worry about Christmas as your children are little enough that they will not even remember it. Get them 1 small gift and call it done. Try and sign up for toys for tots and see if they can get you some gifts for them.
Sign up for a food basket for the holidays and get a holiday meal to cook. ( ask about it at wic they should know where you can sign up for these things.)

My dh is probably the biggest hurdle to getting out of this mess, God bless him. He is trying to get on at the local police dept as a backup officer for a parttime job. He is already on the fire dept and first responder team - voluntary and unpaid, of course. But the police job would be paid. So crossing fingers for that. I have a hard time asking him to get a second job when I feel so guilty for staying home. Also, he is a major spender. He wants big things and he wants them now!!! Taking his lunch instead of spending $10 a day or more is a big step for him. I am paying about $13 a week for diapers for both babies using generic. I did want to try cloth diapers with dd1 but husband made me feel stupid for it so I didn't. Honestly my kitchen washrags are rags or I would use them as diapers and at this point I am so far behind that I can't run to Wal-mart and buy some cloth diapers. I feel so stupid. I am sitting here making excuses and shooting down suggestions. Instead of spending $13 next week on diapers, I could buy a dozen cloth diapers instead. Which I will do! Anyways, I'm sorry I'm blabbing on and on. I have suggested that I work nights and dh can stay home but he refuses. He is pretty old school and while he loves his children, he doesn't have any idea what to do with them. He hasn't even changed a diaper - ever. I hate making excuses for him. I look like such a pansy. Both of our Grandmas live fairly close but watching both babies is too much for them and everyone else works. So family watching kids is out. We make $4000 a year too much for food stamps and I spend about $50 a week on food including dhs lunch stuff. I do use coupons and look for super sales.

Im sorry. I sound like such a whiner. I really love my life, I just need to get out of this hole and I truly appreciate ALL the suggestions!!!

Stephanie

Call your local United Way and find out if they can help you find cloth diapers, sometimes the have helplines.

Also if you belong to a church or have a friend that does, you could let them know that you could use some help.

Power and blessings to you hun.

There are organizations out there that will help even if you don't qualify for foodstamps. I'm not sure, but I think a food bank would be willing to help you out.

The only other thing I would suggest would be picking up a late evening job. All sorts of places are hiring right now. Get the girls on a strict 7:30 bedtime and maybe work for 8 to midnight stocking shelves. I've done it. It takes a lot out of you staying up late to work and getting up early to take care of the girls, but just until your finances start smoothing out I bet you could handle it.

You also might talk to your husband about not waiting for that police department job. It sounds like any second job for him would help out, even pumping gas.

Don't feel bad for sending him off to work, either. Something has to be done, so unless he wants to learn how to change diapers and tie pigtails he should probably start looking for more work.

Good luck!

Could you babysit for other people durning the day? Just one child would bring in an extra money.Maybe you can turn off the cable and go back to watching just the local tv stations. The libarary always has movies that you can rent for FREE...There is nothing on those cable or dish stations except all the re-runs. Go to the local food bank you will be surpise on what you get from them. Christmas will be here soon. Go to the dollar store and get the kids there gifts or make your own. I use to make homemade playdoe and put it into nice containers and gave it to the kids for a present. At this age they don't know the difference where the gift was bought from. Go to the local second hand stores and find some nice toys there clean them up and wrap them up. I always did that for my kids and they were not hurt by that they never knew. Call your light company and ask them when the rates drop to the lower cost of kilo watts (ours is after nine p.m.) that is when you will do your laundry and hang it over the clothes bars for the night and they should be dried by morning. Alot of times you can buy household products alot cheaper at the dollar store. I get my cleaning products,soda, some snacks,and personal care products from there. Sometimes walmart is cheaper on some stuff so just watch your prices. I hope this helps and good luck.

You're NOT whining, you're talking it out :) And hey, you've made the first and biggest (and hardest) step, admitting it's time to DO something about it!

As for the evening jobs, right now is a GREAT time to pick up a part time stock job, Christmas is coming! I work 10pm to 6am doing stock, yes it's HARD and TIRING work, but WORTH IT! Even 1-2 nights a week would bring in a good bit of extra money.

And being home with the kids is SO VERY IMPORTANT! They NEED a parent there so don't you feel guilty about it!

hugs,
kj

I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. It would be great if you could do some child care. I would call everyone I know and let them know you are available. Even if it is just parttime hours. Things will start to get crazy with the holidays...I know when my kids were small, it would have been great to have someone to watch them while I did errands/shopping etc...
And try out those cloth diapers...in the long run, you will save quite a bit of $$$. Is your DH aware of how tight things are? Maybe he could get that PT job in the evening...any little bit of extra $$$ will make a difference. I would definitely check out the food bank. There is no shame in that, there are plenty of people having a rough time...when you are back on your feet, pay it forward!
There are many good, frugal tips here...please keep us posted on how you are doing!

Oops...just wanted to hop back on with a suggestion...check and see if you have a freecycle group in your area...post a message asking for cloth diapers...maybe you'll get lucky!

I agree with the others--childcare in your home could bring in some extra money. You're already home anyway--what's a few more?!?!? I used to do this when ds 1 was a toddler and it was great extra money.

If your dh doesn't change diapers, I would not take his opinion on cloth diapers into consideration at all.

What about doing laundry or ironing for neighbors and friends? You can do it at home and they can drop it off and pick it up. Or wrapping gifts? Or making meals? With a nominal fee attached to the cost of the ingredients/supplies?

My dh is probably the biggest hurdle to getting out of this mess, God bless him. He is trying to get on at the local police dept as a backup officer for a parttime job. He is already on the fire dept and first responder team - voluntary and unpaid, of course. But the police job would be paid. So crossing fingers for that. I have a hard time asking him to get a second job when I feel so guilty for staying home. Also, he is a major spender. He wants big things and he wants them now!!! Taking his lunch instead of spending $10 a day or more is a big step for him. I am paying about $13 a week for diapers for both babies using generic. I did want to try cloth diapers with dd1 but husband made me feel stupid for it so I didn't. Honestly my kitchen washrags are rags or I would use them as diapers and at this point I am so far behind that I can't run to Wal-mart and buy some cloth diapers. I feel so stupid. I am sitting here making excuses and shooting down suggestions. Instead of spending $13 next week on diapers, I could buy a dozen cloth diapers instead. Which I will do! Anyways, I'm sorry I'm blabbing on and on. I have suggested that I work nights and dh can stay home but he refuses. He is pretty old school and while he loves his children, he doesn't have any idea what to do with them. He hasn't even changed a diaper - ever. I hate making excuses for him. I look like such a pansy. Both of our Grandmas live fairly close but watching both babies is too much for them and everyone else works. So family watching kids is out. We make $4000 a year too much for food stamps and I spend about $50 a week on food including dhs lunch stuff. I do use coupons and look for super sales.

Im sorry. I sound like such a whiner. I really love my life, I just need to get out of this hole and I truly appreciate ALL the suggestions!!!

Stephanie I had to use cloth diapers for my first one, she was allergic to the perfumes in pampers. I used a diaper service sometimes the hospital gives you one month free and then I also bought some. I think at sears. I bought these nice velcro plastic pant. Duckies I think they worked great.I used cloth for the rest of my kids, we only bought pampers if we had someone babysit who wasn't comfortable with the cloth.

Also, he is a major spender. He wants big things and he wants them now!!!

Well, then, he needs to grow up and realize that the kids come first, and you shouldn't have to be so stressed out over money because he's selfish.

Thank you so much everyone for all your great tips! I think I am going to go ahead and put the word out to everyone that I will watch kids in my home. I will also put up a sign in the store here in town. That, on top of my ad in the paper should help get the word out. I will also try the cloth diapers. I already am a member of freecycle but never thought about asking for cloth diapers. Im going to do that today as well. I know we will eventually get out of this hole - just two more months until income taxes!!

Stephanie

Stephanie-
You are a real trooper! Your heart is truly in the right place. My suggestions:
Do not get rid of your internet! The cable, movie rentals, net flix - drop like a bad habit. But you will go out of your mind without something half way normal to look at. Plus you are making money and getting new ideas - perhaps down grade your speed or look for a cheaper service. Sometimes calling up the company and saying you are going somewhere else will get them to offer you a new deal. Don't beg them, or else they will have the upper hand. Ask to speak to the customer service department.
Next - you said you don't have a credit card - DO NOT GET ONE!! Most folks will tell you they are the death of common sense. You have a husband similar to mine - they want what they like. But his heart is most likely in the right place too. Give him credit for taking care of you and build him up. If there are money problems to start, it can cause a bad situation in a good marriage. Nagging him will not help.
I think you are doing everything you can do with your ulilities that you can. I cloth diapered my children and though it is painful at times, it is worth it. You said you get WIC, do you BF? That is a huge savings if you do. If you don't then look on the coupon portion of this forum, sometimes folks have formula checks/coupons there. Also hang up your clothes to dry. I don't even own a dryer and it really only takes about a day to let them dry on their own. You may have to run a second spin, but if you run it later in the evening -it's worth it.
You have a great attitude about Christmas! do something sweet and special for your husband. Hot bath and nice dinner. Again they have to be supported and reminded that they are doing a good job. Sometimes that alone helps them realize that they may have just a little more to give.
Perhaps offer to sell the other vehicle on Craigslist or something. If you have a CarMax in your area they can give you an estimate of what's worth as well and may even buy it.
I am in the same situation concerning childcare/income - it's sometimes not worth it. You also have to factor in gas money to and from work, food for lunches, clothing, etc...
Call the cell phone company and trim down your personal minutes. The calls for mobile to mobile should be free, but it will help if you can get a cheaper package. I know you are helping your in laws which that can be a sticky situation in itself.
Good luck girly and you have a great attitude. Love those girls and keep their heads staight - they are only little for just a short time!
All the Best!
Dianne

I second the freecycle idea of cloth diapers. You could even ask if anyone has any disposables in your girls sizes.

Can you call the cell phone company and tell them you would like to know what specials they have this month? Sometimes they have specials and just don't advertise them.

Same thing with the cable and internet. I called and told them I was going to cut it off and they lowered my bill drastically for a few months. It's worth a shot.

I also wanted to ask about the job you have as a courier. If you are making $50.00 a week is that really enough to pay for your gas in Suburban? I know it is only an hour a day, but it may not be worth your while. This would also free up your time to be at home to babysit. I wouldn't want someone driving my kids around town.

You are going to get through this and be fine. (((hugs)))

Oh hon! I feel for you! I hope some of this helps! it did when I was a single mom (we were on welfare for my son's first 2 1/2 yrs of life while I went to school).

Sometimes when things were dire I would go to donate plasma for about $15-20 a pop (don't laugh, this was where my diaper money came from).

ALSO see if any of your area churches do Mothers Day Out programs (these are childcare at the church 2-3 days per week while the BIG kids are in school... and you get minimum wage for it! This is helping my hubby and I NOW) maybe you could do this until all is caught up or if you like it even until you have a NICE eme fund AND all bills caught up!

There are many FOOD pantries available (esp this time of yr), also there is something called Angel food ministries are $25/mo and you get a lot of food check online at the website and find out where the host churches that are close to you that do this and contact them about dates to order (usually first of month) and dates to pick up (usually toward the end of the month). I know here in Oklahoma city that there are places that will help you when you are having a tough financial time... there are tons of Birth choices around (catholic charity that is AWESOME about helping w/clothes, esp kids, & sometimes even food or can at least point you in the right direction (to even more help) there are lots of churches that will help you with your utilities and the like.

Instead of running your dryer, line dry as much as possible (about a load or 2 a day is usually best, in the AM when it's not peak hrs - here in okc, peak hrs are from 1pm to 9pm).

Eat as much as possible at friends or relatives homes as you can.

remember to pay the necessities FIRST!!! that means: house pmt (shelter), food, clothing, utilities, transportation. if you need to use that "pmt for school loans for food" you use it girl! send them a $5 pmt. I don't know who you are using for loans but I know Sallie Mae loans (where I've gone thru) I've probably put mine in deferment at least 10 times and it's b/c I didn't pay anything b/c at the time I had nothing to give them that was left over after the basics and Yes, I was able to put into deferment w/o having a problem. Do what you have to to survive and get it done. Make sure that you do send at least $5/mo. toward the savings and let them know you will catch it up as soon as you can but at this point you do not have anything left over! Get that house pmt caught up! You cannot be on the streets w/those babies if you don't have a house the least of your concerns is not going to be paying on a school loan.

also helps us is that we eat on a Menu... I make a menu for 2-5 weeks and don't stray from it. unless you get a better deal...

You also sound as if you need to sit down with your husband and have a very FRANK talk about consequenses to actions. may sound harsh, but if you don't have a house to live in where the heck does your hubby think he's going to put his new gadgets other than the front lawn for someone else to pick up?! & food on the table is much more needed than a new toy. he can wait a few months. He sounds as if he needs a reality check. Remember, necessity is an inventional tool!

Things are tight but it WILL get better... just hang on tight until it does. Praying for you!

Kim

I agree with the applying for assistance. Not sure what your dh is paying for child support, but I would suggest seeing about having that amount adjusted. I am assuming his circumstances have changed and he may be able to pay a lower amount.

Besides looking thru all the great money saver's ideas on this board. I would also go to the library and get all the money saving books you can, read up and take notes on what Ideas you can use. I like the" tight wad gazette" and "living more with less".I saw an article about Tightwad gazette writer a stay at home mom. and they were supersavers, That is what got me started. I used some of their ideas, and some are even healthier for you. I did eat the oatmeal from scratch.I like the best priced notebook-so you can spot the lowest price and then stock up. I still do this(my kids are sometimes embarrassed shopping with me.This month I bought 10 boxes of tea bags.I have bought 20-30 boxes or cans of tuna at a time. My 21 year old has went shopping with me when she was younger and she has seen when the store clerks are even impressed with our savings. She helps me every now and then we do a super shop. I get all the sale adds, we find the cheapest price per store get all the coupons together and do a run. I bought tupperware at garage sales and thrift stores and bought clearanced cloth napkins at strouds outlet or target.Paper and plastics are expensive and once you buy the cloth napkins they last a lifetime. I would combine the coupon clipping with home made and see where you can cut back on there. Great idea about giving plasma. I have bad veins so they did not reccommend I give,but I had a friend in college who paid for all her Christmas gifts like that. You can check with companies about using your car as advertisment. Some companies with pay you to take around their logo-they shrinkwrap your car.Delivering papers is also something I have done and also friends who were retired for extra money.might be hard with younger kids.I also used cloth diapers and hung dry most of my clothes. Cut back on the 401k. I would only put in what the employer matches and cut back on the rest till you can afford it.Take care of your current stuff, like eating before thinking of retirement savings. Good luck

Do you get a big income tax refund? If you do have your husband change his w-4 withholdings it will give you more money each paychek. Why give the government a loan tax free when you need the $$ yourself.
IF you qualify for earned income credit you can take advanced earned income and have that money added to your paycheck at payday instead of one lump check at tax time.

Cut back on the 401k. I would only put in what the employer matches and cut back on the rest till you can afford it.Take care of your current stuff, like eating before thinking of retirement savings.

Exactly what I was going to say! That money would serve you better now, rather than later. I would stop it altogether for a while. You can always change it back!

I also agree with the plasma, but have DH or in laws keep little ones while you go - it can take a while sometimes. I was going to mention it as well, but I wasn't sure how popular that is with some folks. Most places pay a smaller amount for the first, then a larger amount for your second. Our local place pays $55 for two in a 7 day period.
Do get caught up on the house payment. You are paying more in interest than you can afford right now. It may seem easier to pay when you can, but you are hurting yourself more each month with the pervious months late charges.
I also agree with the tax credit too. And in another thread I saw a book recommended - "The Complete Cheapskate", you may find it at the library.
All of the ideas are great and I have even taken note of few as well - thanks!
Best Wishes!
Dianne

PS:
Please let us now how you are doing! We are concerned an rooting for you!
:cheerup:

You have the right attitude, and you'll get through this. So many good ideas have been listed, I cannot think of any more.

I had a friend who had a morning paper route and took her toddler in the car with her every morning -- her little one fell right to sleep in the car and was warm and safe. Put her thru college. Not sure where you live (small delivery area with lots of houses?) or if it would pay with the Suburban gas mileage.

I also really like the idea of late night work -- at retailers or hospitals. I worked nites at hospitals for a few years... Your babies could be in bed while DH 'babysits'.

Everyone's given such great ideas, I can't really think of anything else right now. (I especially like the idea about the paper route.) I just want to say, hang in there and let us know how it goes. You've come to a great place for ideas and support. :hugz:


--Michelle