Pilot wives, military wives, doctor wives, firefighters, etc....Ya know, those of us that are on our own with the kids 24/7 more often then we aren't? I'd love to get to know ya better!

My dh travels about 2 weeks or so out of every month. China, Canada and various US states. It gets old sometimes. Thankfully my kids are older and mostly self-sufficient.

Me too....my DH is an OTR Truck Driver. He left the 11th of this month and won't be home until Chtistmas. My DS is 17 so he's more self-sufficient than a little one. It's still lonely.

I fit in here. Kids are grown but I am always busy!

I'm here. My husband is deployed to Iraq right now. So it's just me and little Mr. Wesley

I consider myself a "married single mom" many times. My DH is a cop, and often works six or seven days a week, usually 10-12 hour shifts. We are like ships passing in the night most of the week.

His days off are the days that I work, which is great for not needing a babysitter, but not great for having any time together at all. We don't even sleep on the same shifts most of the time!

Great to meet you all! As my siggy says, my DH is a commercial airline pilot - he's usually gone about 4-5 days and then home for 3-4. Since the kids are so small, it works out well because they get to see daddy a lot. That'll change once they get into school, as he rarely has weekends/holidays off.

We're working on becoming a little more "independant" as in not needing to rely so much on his salary - through rental property, eventally moving onto a farm and becoming more self sufficient. That way he'll hopefully be able to start flying for a small sea-plane operation locally and he'll be home for dinner every night - Oh to dream!!! :)

my husband has such a crazy sched. i feel like that sometimes. i have to keep a calander on the desk so i know when he'll actually be here. it wasn't so bad when coop was little, but now that hes in school sometimes he wont see his daddy for a week. coop is in bed when he comes home from work and stan is gone back to work before he gets home from school.

I guess I'll be fitting in here for awhile. Dh accepted a new job that has him away from us for job training....leaving me to hold down the fort:) I hate being apart from him & can't wait to be on the other side of all of it.
All of the houseapes still live at home, so it makes it a little easier to bear....but its just not the same without dh here, picking on everyone:)

Great to meet you all! As my siggy says, my DH is a commercial airline pilot - he's usually gone about 4-5 days and then home for 3-4. Since the kids are so small, it works out well because they get to see daddy a lot. That'll change once they get into school, as he rarely has weekends/holidays off.

We're working on becoming a little more "independant" as in not needing to rely so much on his salary - through rental property, eventally moving onto a farm and becoming more self sufficient. That way he'll hopefully be able to start flying for a small sea-plane operation locally and he'll be home for dinner every night - Oh to dream!!! :)


Good luck with all that! Sounds great.

DH left for his job in the middle east right after I found I was pregnant. So DS1 and I made it on our own for the pregnancy and the year and a half after that. He was home for the twins' births but left when they were 2 1/2 weeks old. He saw them at 6 months when we spent a month in Lebanon with him for their baptism. Then he was home for their first Christmas and the next May to put a new roof on the house (that's a whole other thread!). After we moved to Lebanon to be nearer (he was in Kuwait) he visited us 3 times and we visited him here twice. So until the twins were almost 2 1/2 they only saw him for visits. For the last year we've lived together (except this summer when we traveled home for a month and then Lebanon for a year and a half) and it's been great. There are still times when he gets busy and gone during our evenings but when that happens he usually has time home during the day with the twins.

Well as for me, my DH works and I am a SAHM, my DD goes to school during the day (when DH is home) and I pick her up from school at 3pm when DH is at work, so more often than not I am with her more than he is, I repremand, punish, etc. her since they hardly see each other.

I see DH in the mornings until about 1pm then not again till 10pm but mornings go by fast so it feels like we never see each other and his only day off is Sunday and Holidays.

I used to be a member of this 'club'. Gripey was a farmer for years so we saw very little of him during those years (about the first 1/2 of our marriage). Now he's home a lot more which is great but I do know just how you all feel. It's not easy but you get used to it (sort of) after a while. You have to just go on and do your own thing, make the best of it, don't you? :hugz:

BTW, I meant to say we were in Lebanon for a MONTH and a half this summer. LOL

I belong to this group! My DH is a fire fighter and works 24 hour shifts. He also has a part-time job so our time together is limited. It's one of the reasons we decided to homeschool (not the only reason). The kids get to see daddy more often and we get to schedule family things on his days off. If they were in a traditional school setting, we would have to wait until holiday breaks or summer vacation.

I've been a "sometimes single mom" for so long now that it really doesn't bother me. In fact, I think I've grown up alot and become more self-sufficient.

I fit in here. My husband is a helicopter pilot for the state police/homeland security. He works 12 hour shifts and is on nights right now. I get lonely alot and overwhelmed sometimes with the responsibilities of two kids and running the house, but I'm not complaining at all. After 18 years, it's such a way of life. Me and the kids really miss him on weekends and holidays when he's working, though. That we'll never get used to.:shake:

One nice thing about his schedule, though, is he often has a few days off during the middle of the week. While the kids are in school, we go out for breakfast or lunch sometimes, or just spend the day together at home or out somewhere. I live for those days!

Can I join in?

My DH is an Aviation Technician (Helicopter mechanic) with the Royal Australian Navy and often goes away both in Australian and overseas deployments.

I too get lonely when he works nights and when he is away.

My dh is an electrician. His company does out of town jobs. He is gone from Monday morning until Friday night.

my dh is a sheet metal technician for the Air National Guard. luckily, he is stationed stateside. but, once a year, for two weeks, he is gone. he also has side trips that he has to take once in a while for classes. most of the time, those are only a week long.
but he works seconds. he leaves the house at 2 pm and is not home until 1 am. but, he earns leave every week. so he saves that up and we take a week in the summer to go camping and then he takes two weeks off for the christmas break. so that helps.
when he first joined the guard, he was gone for almost 7 months. another time, he was gone for 3. i know that that is nothing compared to active duty wives, but when you are used to him being home every night, it is still hard.
also, since we have 3 still living at home, it does help when he is gone. but, my next to oldest, will be 18 soon and out of school in june. so that will make it a little bit harder the next time that he has to leave.

Dh is in the Army. Hes been gone on average 6 months out of a yr until we got stationed here. No he goes no where and I have to tell you I wish he would go somewhere sometimes. I was so used to him coming and going that having him home more drives me a little bonkers

My hubbys daily truck route brings him home each night, but...
he gets up at 12:30 midnight to go back out..
He works 70+ hours a week with the one job.

He's only home on Sundays..
I agreed to support his job in 1991 and it's really blessed our family.
But I miss him :mushy:

Anyone have any good tips for going it alone?
I get really worn out sometimes.

My only tip is to find supportive friends e.g. wives of other truck drivers that understand how hard it is.

For me, having supportive friends even online friends when DH is deployed saves my sanity, they know the lonliness, the stress and the worry.

I would agree to try to find some friends in a similiar situation. While there aren't many pilot wives where we live, there is a HUGE naval submarine base in the next town. So, I've made lots of Navy friends. Their husbands are gone for about 3 months at a time.

With the kids, the evenings and weekends are the hardest (weekdays, we're just like everyone else). So we often schedule playdates after school or on weekends. It helps keep the kids occupied and I get to hang out with another Mommy and get some adult conversation!

My dh works 3rd shift, and mainly works 6-7 days a week. so while me & the kiddos are sleeping he is awake, and while the kiddos & i are awake, he is sleeping. its like complete different schedules. but i'm not complaining, because i'm lucky to be a sahm. but i do get lonely, but he has been working this shift for 9 years :( just glad he has a job, and not laid off!!!

We are like ships passing in the night most of the week.

His days off are the days that I work, which is great for not needing a babysitter, but not great for having any time together at all. We don't even sleep on the same shifts most of the time!


This is me and DH to a T.... I don't love it and neither does he, but while DS is only 11 and we don't live near any family it really works well as far as never needing to pay for childcare.

I so belong to this club, DH is in the Army and sometimes I am on my one for months on end. We had a baby four months ago and he has been away for over half of that. Not to mention over half of my pregnancy! Sometimes I like it, but at other times its really hard especially consdering both our children have cystic fibrosis its a lot to managage on my own at times. At least when he is home is 150% focused on being 'home'.

SheKat, do you get support within the Defence force for your children when DH is away?

Do you access DCO?

Monkeymia,

We are recognised as a special needs family with the defence, but it really doesn't allow us anything on a regular basis, there are some special stuff we can do when it comes to being posted. I could join a support group through them, we did when our eldest was first diagnosed, but couldn't help feel that it was made up of people who wanted to winge about their kids, i also felt a little on the outer because my child looked like he had nothing wrong with him, its a respitory, digestive condition.

The army are great and when my kids are hospitalised they practically kick DH out on his bum so he can be with us. Luckily they haven't been hospitalised when he has been overseas - if they were I sstill wouldn't ask for him to come home, because we have been though it all before. Our eldest has been hospitalised about 10 times, and our baby once.

I do think the Defence force is trying to work with families for the better.

When DH was in Banda Aceh, his pop was in a coma and they offered to send him home but because pop wasn't immediate family, they had all rights to make him stay. Luckily enough, pop woke up and said no stay over there, his pop is ex-Navy so he said the boy is serving his country. Lol

Have you heard of Australian Defence Force Families? http://adffamilies.informe.com/login.php
Im a member and the girls (and guys) there are very supportive.