My ex boyfriend is my 18 months old father. This guy is worthless and basically lives off his family. As soon as my baby was first born he hired a lawyer and tried to sue for full custody and child support. I got sole custody and the court ordered him to pay child support. He never once bought or offered to help with anything until the court made him pay child support.

Last month my ex has been bugging me to write a letter to the friend of the court and and ask to drop the amount of child support he pays. He pays 260 a month and wants to pay less. I told him I would not write a letter.

He quit his job last month because he said he wanted to see our daughter more. He moved in with his neice and got another job but he's been calling me because he's late on his loans, credit cards, etc and wants me to write that letter. I told him no.

Last night he called asking if he can move in with me and my girls. I told him no because I don't want him here, and I told him jobs are hard to find and scarce here and he has no car, and there is no way i'm going to support him. I told him my responsibility is to my girls, I rent a nice home for them, I make sure I have a decent car to drive, and I take care of them 24/7

He calls and bugs me daily about something. I just don't understand how a single person could not own anything, leech off others.

I'd quit taking his calls. I know he's the father of the baby, but the stress he's piling on you is a lot, and he's trying to guilt you into feeling sorry for him.

Sorry, he's a grown man and it's time to stand up and take charge of his life, on his OWN!

Hugs to you, stay strong and do NOT write any of the letters he wants, it is HIS responsibility to provide for the child he produced.

Sigh, grrrr, some males :(

kj

I'm sorry you are having to deal with this, big hug sent your way. Sounds like a loser to me too. Glad you wont take him back in; it is best for you and your girls not to do that. Have you considered getting an unlisted # so he wont pester you so much?

you do not need to deal with that on a daily basis. whatever you do, do not let that "man" into your house or attempt to pull some "i want to be closer to you and the baby" crap and wanting to live with you. he's probably thinking that once he's there, itll cancel out the child support he needs to pay and that'll he'll save you SOO much money because he can stay and watch the baby and eat your food and run up your utilities while you are out working. this sounds like so many people i know and then they complain when they cant figure out why they cant repay their payday loans while they fill up their svu tank on a credit card.

stay strong woman! you do not need that

Im sorry but he wants to pay less then 260! Does he have a clue what a child costs. 260 isnt even close to being good enough , he should consider himself lucky to get off that cheap .

Do you have caller id? I would let the voicemail take his calls.

Thanks for understanding, he bugs me so much

I'm going to change my home phone number so he can't call all the time plus I work using my phone and he interrupts my business calls all the time.

He does have my cell phone number that he can reach me, I only have that on when my daughter is in school.

Good for you for getting your home number changed. You shouldn't have to deal with his B.S. He's a big boy and needs to learn to take care of himself (and the child he brought into this world). $260/mo is nothing! He should consider himself blessed. Big hugs to you! Cut this guy out of your life IMO, aside from collecting his monthly checks.

I think that you should NEVER write a letter to anyone for him, it's his responsibility as well as yours to provide for your DD, he sounds to me like a leach and he is trying all he can to get off paying anything.

I can tell you that if you do let him move in with you, child support will no longer exist as it will look like you's are back together and he will mooch even more off of you, so DONT DO IT!

You seem head strong, and while we dont know if you still have feelings for him dont jepordize what you have, you are secure, strong and smart.

I also yes should mention that $260 a month is nothing at all, he should be glad it's not more.

I think that you should NEVER write a letter to anyone for him, it's his responsibility as well as yours to provide for your DD, he sounds to me like a leach and he is trying all he can to get off paying anything.

I can tell you that if you do let him move in with you, child support will no longer exist as it will look like you's are back together and he will mooch even more off of you, so DONT DO IT!

You seem head strong, and while we dont know if you still have feelings for him dont jepordize what you have, you are secure, strong and smart.Very well said!

I'd let called ID and voicemail record the calls, and if they continue persistently, I'd get a restraining order.

What a dope. Definately don't write him a letter! $260 isn't enough as it is. My sister got $500 a month child support for her son, plus an additional $500 per month for back pay.

I definately would never let him move in with us because I would never get rid of him! lol

He hasn't even visited with my youngest in over a month because he can't find anyone to mooch a ride from

I wish he would just go away and not pay anything. My youngest does not benefit in any way from knowing him.

Sorry he's involved & I eccho others advice about not helping him out in any way. Way past time for him to man-up.(aka: be a real man)

so know what ur going through. i left my son's dad a yr ago (will be a yr in a couple of weeks). he wanted joint custody and i told him no b/c of his mom. he was living with his mom at that time. until my mom changed her # he would call atleast once or twice a week and when he did he would keep calling until we took the phone off the hook. he hasnt seen merrick since easter. he never wanted to spend time with merrick and expected me to do everything. i got lucky that i let my fiance back in my life just b4 easter. he loves merrick like he is his son. after we get the money we will get a lawyer and have zack's (merrick's dad) parental rights taken away since he hadnt really shown a interest in taking care of merrick.

Stick to your guns, 260.00 is such a small amt. Child care is usually a percentage of income so this goes to show he's not working much. Another thing to keep in mind....do not change all your phone #'s...that could be a violation of his visitation rights if he cannot get hold of you to speak with or ask about his child...he could take you back to court for that. Most states consider visitation and child support 2 separate issues.

Hugs to you and your kiddos!

Another thing to keep in mind....do not change all your phone #'s...that could be a violation of his visitation rights if he cannot get hold of you to speak with or ask about his child...he could take you back to court for that. Most states consider visitation and child support 2 separate issues.

Excellent point!

I agree with the others. Do not let him back into your life or your child's life because he will suck the life out of it. When he grows up to be a real man, then it can be considered.

I don't violate anything we agreed on. He has to be able to get ahold of me and he has my cell phone number. The thing is he calls my home phone which I was as a business line at least 4 times every night. I can understand if he wanted to know how our doing was doing, etc. but he constantly asks where did we go that day, did any guys look at me, etc

And he calls until about 1 am and he calls when I tell him i'll be working so business calls can't get through.

He's jealous and nosy and wants to get back together and mooch of us.

What a controlling jerk! You're so much better off without him. I pray that you'll be able to get him to stop calling you constantly soon. You could report this as harrassment (due to the time that he calls) and maybe the law could do something about it. Don't let him get out of the $260 a month child support. Lots of dad's are paying atleast $800 a month for one kid so that's not unreasonable.

I've got to agree with everyone else - you are soooo strong to have not given in - stay strong!!

Just say NO! :D