Most of us have had extreme financial situations at one point or another. That is why we are here. I mentioned a couple of things in some posts to other people about the worst things have been for me, and then I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it help to know that you can turn things around if I were in that situation again?" I would like to tell you about some of the extreme lows I have had so that you know, IT DOES GET BETTER.

When I was married and Chloe was a baby we lived in a very small town. My ex had an iron fist on the money. He would give me $50 and then take off for a week at a time. I had no access to our bank account. Usually I could make that money stretch to feed us. One week he had done just that and the next day the electric company came to shut off our power. I had no idea the bill hadn't been payed, so I begged and cried and gave them my only $50 to keep it on for the week until my husband got home. That put us in dire straits as the only consumable in the house was milk for the baby and beer for EXH. When night fell, I dressed the baby, put her in the stroller, and went behind the small grocery store in town to dig through the dumpster for food that I could make do with. The first night things went smoothly, then when I went back a couple of days later I got caught. They called the police. The police, of course, felt sorry for me and took us to a nearby city food bank, but that is the absolute most humiliated I have every been.

I have had all my various utilities shut off at one time or another. I have been hounded by bill collectors to the point I changed my phone number. I have rented a home under another name because EXH and I had such bad credit no one would have rented to us. I have lived on $20 a week for groceries for me and my two children. I lived w/ two children in a 500 sq foot house for a year that had mice and was freezing in the winter. I had no lawyer when I got divorced and let my EXH take everything (not much to take but he took it) because I couldn't afford the fight.

Things are better now because I try to make more frugal decisions on all things. I try to save when I can adn keep everything up to date. I have stuck with the same line of work for several years and worked my way up the ladder until we have a decent amount coming in. I have managed to buy us a house. Things are still tight but it is so much better than it once was. I would say from the time I decided to change my life it has taken me 3 1/2 years to get to the point of relative comfort.

I write this because I want you to know you are not alone and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish good judgement for all of you and just a wee bit of luck, and then you too, will turn things around.:wand:

(( Karen ))

Our lowest points financially?

Somewhere on here I have posted our story before, but the 2 lowest points in our 26 year marriage:

Right after the first baby was born -- I'd been off work with pregnancy complications, dh had been off work with an injury. We had no health insurance. I had nothing for the preemie baby we'd just brought home from the hospital. I used my dish towels as diapers and bread wrappers for plastic pants. I made shirts from an old thread bare sheet. We picked up aluminum cans along the road, in order to get gas money to get back and forth to the doctor.

2nd low -- we now had 3 kids, dh was diagnosed with ALS. We made some money decisions, thinking he would die in 2-3 years. He didn't, and the bills caught up with us. I sat down to pay the bills, and had less than $12 to cover gas and groceries for 2 weeks. I had to borrow money from the kid's savings accounts to get through. That became a vicious cycle of borrowing, repaying, then borrowing again because there wasn't enough to go around. We started cutting things to the bone -- cut the grocery budget to $20/week for the 5 of us, eliminated all unnecessary spending (no entertainment, no eating out, no cable TV, no extras on the phone, no magazine/newspaper subscriptions, etc.) We dug out, and even though we still have a huge amount of debt, we can manage now.

Wow, you guys are an insparation to me.

When we moved around 20 years ago, we had no money, dinner ws microwave popcorn, dh went into a farmers field and cut down a christmas tree( with out permission) and the only decorations were pine cones on it, we had no gifts but one morning we woke up and some one had left small gifts on our front porch along with some food items.
all these years later the kids don't even remember , but i do

When my oldest boy was about 5, I left my SO. I didn't have much money and took what furniture I could and got out quick.

The house I moved into didn't have any appliances. I bought a refrigerator for $20.00 and a stove for $13.00 in food stamps. They were awful.

I had not pots and pans, just two pie plates. When I moved into the house they had just torn down a factory next door and the house was infested with roaches and sand mites.

I sent my son to my aunts while I bombed the house (3) times. When the gas man came to turn on the gas, I was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor crying my eyes out. He fixed the stove and refrigerator (he wasn't supposed to).

It took two weeks but I bombed and cleaned and cleaned and made it livable. I garbage picked a couch that some guy had taken a knife to, it was new so I sewed the cuts up.

It took two years and the help of good friends, but we made it through.

One way or another I never gotten down that far again. I had many close calls, but nothing that bad.

What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

I used to be married and my exh had a excellent job so we had lots of money, paid for beautiful house, nice cars, etc

My ex used to beat me up, I stayed because I liked everything I owned and could stay home with my oldest and spend money when I wanted

One day my ex came home on drugs and put a pistol to my head while I was holding my baby and threatened to kill me, he let me put the baby down and he beat me for the last time

My oldest and I left with the clothes on our backs and $40 that I had in my pocket. We walked to a gas staion 2 miles away and waited, hungry while my parents and brother drove 2 1/2 hours to get us. They loaded up their trucks with everything they could fit while my ex was at work and we went to live with my parents.

I filed for divorce 5 days later, shared a cramp bedroom with my baby in my parents small house with 5 big dogs. I went on food assistance and cash assistance.

5 months later we got an apartment, I ebayed everything I had of value to keep our bills paid. 3 months later child support started and we lived good. I found a work at home job and we were happy.

4 years ago I met a guy online, fell in love, etc. My oldest and I left everything we owned and my good paying job and drove from upper Michigan to southern Texas to live with my exboyfriend.

Things were not what he said they were. I spent my last cent to drive down there and this house my exboyfriend had did not exist. We lived in a cramped 2 bedroom shack with his mother.I was pregnant and starved, lost 20 pounds (only weighed 130 to begin with) in the 2 months we were there. My oldest was 6 and lost weight also. Living conditions were beyond horrible. My parents sent us money that was stolen from us, we crammed our only possessions in our blazer and my exboyfriend and his family stole everything that was of value.

My parents sent me money western union and we booked it back to Michigan. We had such big smiles on our faces as we left and we were so incredibly happy.

The first night we left we kept driving 13 hours until we were far away from Texas. We got some food and rented a room in a nice hotel. Having food and a warm place felt like heaven!

It's been almost 3 years now. We had to get a place all over again, we didn't have furniture and hardly anything the first year. We are starting to get comfortable again but now there is 3 of us, it's rare for me to get child support anymore. I did get my work at home job back.

We went from having everything to nothing and working our way back again.

Look how strong and wonderful we are!

I take my hat off to you girls, you have all overcome great odds to be where you are today.

I agree we are all very strong and while my story my not compare to me it was awful.

Back when I was a single mom (or shall I say my EXDH was in jail) I was the sole provider... I lived in a beat-down apartment with roaches (yuck) and I was raising 2 growing boys on welfare and foodstamps (which never were enough)

We used to eat top ramen for lunch and dinner or Mac n' cheese and there were times I had to go to the food bank just so we had food. Our slum lord at the time didnt care that the ceiling was coming down and actually did when we were sitting eaing dinner one evening.

I owed everyone money, the phone, the electric even the measly rent (but I wasnt paying if the ceiling was coming down if the landlord didnt care).

There was a guy who lived upstairs who would ask me to type of papers for him and he would pay me because he knew how hard I was struggling, I had no child support just welfare.

I finaly got a job working at the local WIC office, which was good but the money wasn't all that, I got $5 a week child care for both my kids through Title 20 but I was off welfare (except foodstamps) and I was proud. This was 16 years ago and to this day I have managed to be able to cut corners when things are tight just like I did back then. I cleaned up all the debts I owe and was able to purchase this home I am in now, just on my credit and income alone, when I look back, things weren't as bad as I thought they were because there may come a time I have to go through this again and I WILL be prepared.

When ods was a babyof about 8 months old, ( hes 19 now) dh was working in a restaurant making $12 an our and I was waitressing. My exbil got dh a job making $26 an hour and we started spending like we were making $26 an hour. Then the company went under. Dh got his $12 an hour job back but we had bills like we were making 426 an hour.
Anyway. there was a time when we had no money for food, diapers or formula for ods. We were very scared. Tried to sell the sterio etc. Dh's brother and 2 sisters stocked our apt with food, diapers and formula. I am grateful to them for that but it never happened again and now all these yrs later one of dh's sisters still brings it up.No matter how much we worked we couldnt catch up and we ended up filling bankruptcy. It took us along time after to build up our credit to a good standing but we did. We never wanted to feel like we couldnt feed our kid(s) again

I've been homeless....nuff said.

You gals humble me. God bless you all for sharing your stories here! I know I will learn a lot from each of you!

I've been homeless....nuff said.

not 'nuff said'

Tell us how you overcame that!

Dear Friends,

You are all so strong and wonderful !

I was married to a very abusive, cheating man etc. I gave up my company I started as a teen ( well sold it to help him start his business) , went without a lot to help build up his business, did all the paper work and had three beautiful children with him and well you know the story from my first line. We lived in a home of my parents and rented from them . He tried to get my Dad to sell to him luckily he never did or he would have thrown me in the street when I kicked him out after he hit me for the last time and tired to go after the kids ( first and last he ever did that). He seemed so nice to the outside world and turned friends and family against me until they finally saw, some never did and broke my heart . It took me over 30,000 in court fees and many years to keep myself and the kids safe......Luckily there was policemen who helped me get orders of protection.I took two jobs to keep us safe, warm and fed. He never paid support, tried to write off child support in bankruptcy, I gave up alimony to get away from him. They ordered the bills in his name as a way to get him to pay , he never did things got turned off . I begged someone to keep the heat on after I brought my daughter home from the hospital , I didn't know bill was not current as not in my name.( she got strep one weekend on an overnight with him and he never called me or the Dr. ...finally overnights and visitation was taken away)Praise be to God.

I kept working and stayed single bought my own house etc. Then finally many years later met a wonderful man, moved away thank and Praise the Lord. My ex got remarried and still stalked me, would drive by my house, and hassle people I was friends with or dated. Yes even though I had numerous orders of protection. So once I moved away my ex wrote the kids off to not have to owe back support he never paid etc which was fine with us.

I have now been remarried for 10 years to a wonderful man, love and have always been there for my kids and love life. Everyone says I look in my 20's still and I think it is because I did the best I could , prayed, stayed positive and didn't let him or life get me down.

I am proud of you all and know anyone going through tough times can get through it. Keep your chin up and know it is always darkest before the dawn.

With love and blessings,

Angel

May God bless all you ladies who have struggled and persevered! May many blessings come your way to keep you happy and financially stable.:vibes:

When I became pregnant with my dd1 my exh husband decided to quit his job (wasn't the 1st time) and go back to school. He then quit school (of course he can't finish anything) and had a good job. After giving birth I didn't go back to work. It would have cost way more for childcare so in the long run it didn't seem worth it. The day I gave my notice he came home and told me that he quit his job. I was scared to death. We have a newborn and no insurance. It spiraled downhill from there. He was a mental abuser. After he would tear me down about not working I would pick up a job to accomodate his schedule and then he would make me quit. This happened several times.
We were a YEAR behind in my rent. We sold everything just to get by.

I found out about 2 weeks before Thanksgiving that he was planning on leaving us. I was upset yet relieved. I wasn't sure what I was going to do.My dd1 was 2 & dd2 was not even a year old. So one day I had myself a good cry and then I took a shower. When I came out I decided that my life was going to be better. I wasn't sure how I just knew it would.
By some devine intervention I opened up the paper and there was an add for a job. I applied and got it. I have been there now 5 years and I have received 2 promotions. I also applied for everything I could possibly apply for. I received food stamps, childcare assistance, medical assistance and housing assistance. I made a deal with my landlord to pay back the rent that I owed. After 5 long years I am at such a better place in my life. I have paid off previous debts, my back rent, put $$ into savings & increased my credit score. My ultimate goal is to buy my own home.
One day I had no diapers and my youngest still needed them. I has a negative balance in my account and wasn't sure how in the world I was going to get some. I was so embarrassed. I cried all the way from work to pick up my daughter. My daughters attended the headstart program and had a very small food pantry. I asked if they by chance any diapers that I could have. It was by chance they got a few cases and one just happened to be my babies size. I was so thankful. In the past years I have needed some holiday assistance so I told myself that once I got into a position to help soemone else out for the holidays I would. So this year we adopted 2 children to give gifts for. I was so proud and thankful that I could do this.
I have always been a frugal person but I sometimes take a wrong turn and find my way back.
I am about to lose my job in January and I will be alright. Stuff happens and I think it's all in the way you look at things.
It may appear that you are at rock bottom and the only way is up. It will get better.

Our lowest was when we moved to Florida. Don't move 1400 miles without a savings to cover it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luckily we were renting from friends of ours back north, so the rent payment wasn't too bad. We basically ate Ramen noodles everyday until we both got jobs to cover us.

Almost two years after college I found myself unable to find a job in the field I got my degree in. The jobs were available, but in other states. I didn't want to leave the state I grew up in so I got two and sometimes three jobs at a time to support myself. I lived with two roommates and then in my own studio apartment. I can't believe how tight money was then and even though I had a college degree I knew almost next to nothing about making a budget and sticking to it. I learned and I figured it out as I went. Those three years of struggle helped prepare me for the last two and 1/2 years living with my boyfriend. I have been unemployed twice in the last two years. (Thankfully I have been currently employed for the last 7 months :)).

I had many low moments in those first few years out on my own: Moving into a studio with dirty/sticky shag carpet and mouse droppings behind the kitchen appliances that I had to clean. Then there was the going without many clothes after I gained 30pounds. I couldn't stop eating junk food to comfort myself and I went from a size 6 to a size 12 and I had no clothes that really fit. I didn't even have money to shop at the thrift stores. I was working three jobs just to pay bills, food, and other necessities. I remember I bought underwear on a store card and it took a few months to pay it off. Now I can joke that I was once so poor I had to charge underwear and didn't own my own undies for 3 months. I wish I had known about this site during those tough times, I felt very alone and no one understood what I was going through.

I am doing much better now in my life and I have a better outlook. I know I will survive now, because I know to make better choices. If times get tough and they do, I don't stress about it. It's life :)! I have lost weight, I'm now a size 8. I don't pig out as much, which helps with my food budget. I keep track of my money. I thankfully work one job now that I earn as much at as when I had to work three jobs before. I am not as tired or worn out as I was a few years ago and I have the time to plan for shopping sales and with coupons and I repair my clothes to keep them longer. I also have a different mind set, I used to feel poor because of the things I couldn't have or afford. Now I feel rich because of the people in my life and the things that I do have.

Our lowest point was in mid-winter Jan. and Feb. 2003 right after we married and DH's parents stopped paying for his education without warning, so we were late with rent, electric off, gas off, no phone... that went on for about 8 weeks before we got money together to pay everything off and get services turned on.

It's inspiring to read how far everyone has come

OUr lowest point was when we were three months behind on the morgage and the water was cut off just as I was about to bath the baby. I have had to steal money from my kids piggy bank to take them to the doctor and I have even returned food to buy diapers. That was about two yrs ago. The only way I could over come it was to sell my things to pay off past dept and go to one vehicle. I have learned how to budget and how to make do without.

My ex-dh and I moved in together at a young age. He had and still has an extreme case of affluenza and even when we were making such a small amount he wanted everything and he wanted it brand new. We put everything on HP - a new fridge, TV, washing machine, stereo, when he wanted a sega megadrive or whatever it was back then well he just put that on hire purchase too. One day I sat down and crunched the numbers and figured out that we had about $10 a week to buy groceries so of course we would go and do a big grocery shop on a credit card - that's logical right? Man we were stupid. We lived on noodles. I remember once we realised all we had left was some custard powder. We raided the house until we found just enough small change to buy some milk and we had custard for dinner 3 nights in a row til the milk ran out, then we invited ourselves to my mothers house for dinner.
When my daughter was born I remember crying when I had to go back to work when she was only 3 months old. Every night she would go to sleep right after I collected her from daycare and I would watch her sleeping and I would cry buckets because I felt like I was missing out on so much.
I remember being embarrassed when someone who worked at the daycare gently suggested the name of a cheap childrens clothing store to me because she recognised that my daughter only had about 4 different outfits and most of those were given to us by her grandparents. I remember scraping together $20 out of our budget to try and buy her some more clothes because I felt so humiliated that someone had pointed out that my kid wasn't dressed as well as the others.

I'm humbled.

Things are rough here, but I needed this thread to put it back in perspective. Thank you for sharing your stories.

Hugs,
Lisa

There has been to rough spots in my life. One back in 82 when I had just had ds3. My then husband decided that making 15 an hr was 2bit and went from that to making 4.25 hr. He also had horses. They came first. I cleaned and painted apts to get it taken off my rent. We lived on spagetti...... The second time is now. For the last 2 years since my dh2 left. He couldn't deal with me being sick and almost dying. My kids pay my bills right now....... I have no money and I can not work. The one thing that keeps me going is my youngest son(22) told me I am the srongest person he knows. I don't give up. And that is where he gets his drive from. He refuses to talk to his father.........
Fern

First, everything that I have read is truly awesome!! I reckon my situation is probably small compared to most of ya'll, but I will share anyway. 8 years ago I met a doctor that seemed pretty normal. We had dinner and then the next day he called to say that he had filed for divorce from his wife- I didn't know he was married. I would see him every now and then, but then we started seeing each other a lot later on. We moved into together and then purchased a house. I started to see the facade start crack. He was an alcoholic and a prescription drug fiend. He had previously tried to kill himself a few years before, but was holding up somewhat normally. He lost his job at his partners office and decided to open an office of his own. I lost my job and went to work with him. Mainly druggies and people without insurance (not bad -but never paid) would come and see him and a girl we hired to help kept sealing from us. I was trying to keep a decent home life for my DS and be there for him. Finally he could no longer afford his office, so we started practicing from our home. I had people coming to our house at all hours of the day and night "for an emergency" that a shot of dope always fixed. We started falling behind on the mortgage, then they repo'ed our car. We started selling things, having yard sales, and I had to take whatever job I could possibly find. This man went from an ER doctor to having his license revoked then onto mowing yards while drinking the whole day away. I had to call the police on him several times for his drunkness, one time he punched a cop (a felony offense). My name was crap, I was able to protect my son the best I could by letting him stay with friends and my exh during some of the times, but sadly he saw me try to protect us from my exbf drunken behavior. Finally one day I could no longer expose my son to his behavior, sell anything else, or leave without worrying that what I had left would be torched. I went to work and came back and he had taken a huge overdose of antidepressants washed down with vodka. I called 911 made sure he made it to the hospital and walked away. The best thing in my life came when I was called back to active duty from the Army inactive ready reserve. My son stayed with exh (who was a decent person), I deployed for a year and met the man that I decided was worthy of my son's love (most important after what we had been through) and mine as well. My DH and I will be married for 5 years in JAN and we have a DD and he is adpoting my DS. I just found out in MAY that exbf died, but the silver lining to it all was that he had made me the benificary to his IRA while we lived together and he somehow forgot and stayed that way. Sometimes holding up and trying to do the right thing does pay off. We are not rich by any stretch of the imagination; I think the guy died penniless and without ever getting back his license. But I have learned so much from that experience in my life and I am happy to be free and alive - but best of all safe and happy! Plus I have a better apperication for the simpler and more frugal things in life.
Dianne

I sat and read through all of the posts and I realized that YOU ALL ARE AWESOME!!! It really helped me to realize that I have not been thru half the extremes which you all have suffered financially. GIVE YOURSELVES A PAT ON THE BACK!!!

Wow these stories are amazing. I love this thread.

I remember when my 2 kids were small. My husband lost his job due to layoffs. We were renting a dumpy house from his family, it was so bad it should have been condemned. I was embarrassed to live there and used to duck from the neighbors. Once my 4 year old son actually fell thru a hole in the kitchen floor into the crawl space. I had my daughter christened, and had to use the gift money to buy oil for the heater. The in-laws gave us a break on the rent for a few months. We were thankful, but they continually rubbed it in our faces and told all of our neighbors how we "stiffed" them for 3 months rent. We were doing the labor to fix the dump, but I guess that didn't count. (When we finally moved out, we left the place almost completely renovated, but they were mad that we didn't replace the worn out carpet.)

During that time, I drove the junkiest car to take my kids to school, compared to all their schoolmates in the SUVs. The school gave us some hand-me-down clothes for my daughter, since we were the 'neediest' family... it was nice of them, but embarrassing. I remember getting by with $20 for groceries, fortunately I had learned good frugal skills from my parents. I remember how it felt to have bill collectors call.

Now, dh has a good job. I am determined not to let this happen again. I didn't mind living frugally, but I don't ever want to have to to ask for financial help from anyone, or talk to a bill collector ever again!

Thank you again, ladies. I come back here to read often just so I can pray for you all. This thread is a reality check and by reading the posts, it's a way for many to feel true gratitude for what is given them.

You ladies are VERY strong. Your strength and fortitude needs to be commended. YOU LADIES are AWESOME!!!!

KEEP ON GOING!!!

I waited a while before I responded to this thread because I was hesistant to "relive" my worst financial moment. It was not only my worst financial moment but my worst emotional moment too. It just hard to thing about. I'm sure most everyone else felt the same as they told their story.

My worst was when I was a brand new single mother. Her father wanted nothing to do with her and I didn't get a penny child support from him. I had a job, but it paid virtually no money at all. I was unable to get any kind of assistance because I did have a job.

I was living in a "rent by the week" motel which I couldn't really afford. But I certainly couldn't afford an apartment and have to pay for utilities. My room had no kitchenette so I couldn't keep my baby's formula cold after I opened it. I had an ice cooler and tried my best to protect and salvage her formula before it went bad. I would eat 1 tiny meal a day (usually a hot dog & coke) because I had no money.

I drove an old 1968 chevrolet. I would run out of gas while driving it back and forth to work and would just wait for a man to stop and help me out. I was very lucky in that all of the men who stopped where very kind and would buy me a few dollars of gas and I would be on my way.

I didn't realize it at the time, but I had post-partum depression. I just couldn't see anyway out of the situation. I thought this was how my life would be forever. I begged my mother to come to Florida and be with me, but she was having problems of her own and wanted to be with her mother. So she moved to Colorado (where she attempted suicide). I got so depressed that I went through a 2 week spell where I wanted to kill myself and I was planning to take my baby's life too. (Part of the depression). I had no hope of any kind.

I eventually got out of that motel room and things SLOWLY got better. I was lucky, I had a good friend who helped me see that this was not the rest of my life. That things could and would change for the better and things did.

I'm glad things did get better for you :)

wow. I read every single one of these entries, and I am speechless. Thank you all for sharing such personal stories with us.

1992 was our worst year, I'm not going to go into details, it is just too painful, but we were homeless with 2 children for 4 months.

Andrea

1992 was our worst year, I'm not going to go into details, it is just too painful, but we were homeless with 2 children for 4 months.

Andrea


I know what you mean about it being too painful. Yes it was bad, but I think for me that the worse was how I felt about myself during that time. I felt like an absolute failure as a person and as a mother. I think that was why it was so hard for me to type my story.

If my parents never helped me out I would have been homeless plenty of times. I cannot imagine what it would feel like especially if you have children to take care of.

Somehow we all made it. Hard to look back at that hard times, makes me shudder.

Then I look at my kids and give myself and "attagirl".

To all of you I say "attagirl".

I waited to type anything, too, but sometimes it's good to get this out there so you can deal with it. All of you are inspiring, you survived, and it only made you stronger.

My worse financial year was in '99. Newly divorced, single mom, no child support, you know the drill. I stupidly got involved too fast with a smooth talker. Musta had a sign pointing right at me or something. I want to blame him a lot but honestly the stupidity was mine. In a nutshell, all of this was in my name: lease on an apartment, car, motorcycle, bank loan, utilities, you name it. He never seemed to have a job, but always had me buying everything. He got ahold of some store cards I had with $0 balance and maxed them out, the motorcylce dealership gave a store cc in my name that he somehow maxed out.

Did I mention he was a druggy? Yup. I was living with a pot head yet have never touched the stuff in my entire life. I didn't know the depths they go to lie to make everything look normal and good. Smooth talking liar, and I fell for all of it. It's my fault.

Anyways, the last straw was when he decided to have a party with his druggy friends while my daughter was there. The next day I moved out. The only thing I had was a 16 ft old as the hills camping trailer, me and my daughter moved in. I was flat broke, unable to pay for all the above payments and they were starting to hound me. Collectors started calling me at work, even. I was terrified the ex was going to discover we were living in a camping trailer and take my daughter from me.

I fought it. I'm stubborn. And I refused to ask for help. I worked as a hairdresser, we paid booth rent and got to keep what we earned. I was trying to make right on my bills but wasn't making nearly enough. They told me how easy it was to file bankruptcy. I was so stupid back then. So I filed and went through that by myself, too embarrassed to tell my family.

And then we got into a low rent housing apartment. It was in the bad part of town, but it was no longer in a trailer. I had just filed bankruptcy, had no money, and my booth rent check bounced. They told me to get out. I've never been fired from a job once in my life, it was like a blow to the gut.

And I was still stubborn and still refused to ask for help. So I went out and found any job that would take me. I got hired on as a maid in a hotel. I also worked nights delivering pizzas. And then found another job delivering tickets for an upcoming show. Things were bad, but it still wasn't my low.

Low was working 3 jobs, they come and turn off your electricity, and you don't have enough money to buy groceries. I can't remember how many nights the kid and I went to bed hungry, it hurts to think about it. And I was still too stubborn to ask anyone for help. I was still trying to make good on the payments from the above, but eventually gave up and included them in the bankruptcy.

My lowest was when I went to my sis's. Was just visiting and acting normal, while keeping everything to myself. For some reason she started loading up some groceries and gave me 3 bags of groceries. She had no idea, but it meant the world to me. After putting them in my car and waving goodbye I sat in the car and bawled like a baby. The food meant the world to me and I was going to be able to feed my daughter that night. It was the scaredest I've ever been.

In a way I'm glad some of those things happened. I woke up but good. I wasn't duped as easily, debt was no fun, honest work is a blessing, and there is no shame in asking for help when you truly need it.

I am so weepy reading these. Did anyone notice the common thread of abusive, deadbeat men? Yikes.

This just proves how strong women can be. Hugs to everyone of us!

Ladies, thank you so much for sharing, we have the strength of armies at the Village.

you are all truly an inspiration, thank you for sharing your stories

Thank you for opening your hearts and sharing.

Anyone else agree that our "lows" will sustain us quicker in an emergency (and life) than the general public?
My lows were from childhood though, then started adult life with zero.
However it was still a great life lesson.

Living amongst the middle and upper class.
I feel like a stranger in another land.
These people wouldn't know a hard knock if it hit them in the head. I hope life is kind to them.

Anyone else from the school of hard knocks living in another land now?
My outsides may seem middle class (or higher income according to this site)
but my insides don't match the outside LOL.
I'm a foreigner! LOL

Yes, I see that there is a thread too. I was beaten emotionally by my ex. We split up and I moved to a much smaller house. First day my old regular postman called with something, I opened the door and he said 'wow you've come down in the world'. I'll never forget that and how wrong he was - I told him with a smile that he was way wrong. Since then I have told so many people that house size, possessions are nothing compared to freedom and peace of mind. I didn';t have as much money but didn''t have the financial struggles that many of you ladies have had. I feel humble to have read your words. God bless you and keep you safe

Toile, I know what you mean... I grew up with a mother who worked three jobs, and took us with her. I spent summer with family who was just as poor but in a place where money went farther. I went to pub school in hand-me-downs, ate food pantry items, the VA helped with bills as needed... we always had a roof over our heads, lots of family, lots of love and the necessities. However, I married someone from the upper middle class, I went on to get a undergrad degree and then a master's degree. DH and I both work and make a good living, even with student loan bills. On paper I look like a solid middle class gal, and I suppose I am, but I have working poor values, which I think is a good thing. :D

My lowest low was when we had moved from the Ymca to a weekly furnished apt. Our paychecks hadn't cleared the bank and the apt locked us out as we were late paying rent. We had to have the BIL in Singapore wire us money till our checks cleared. That is as close to homeless as I have gotten and prefer to keep it that way. We then saved and moved to San Diego, not knowing anyone and with no transportation. Had to rent a car and an apt without jobs. The hotel and the rental car took all our savings and we were lucky to have someone looking out for us. Thank god I got a job in 2 days. Not that many people want to be a nurses aid.

Thank all of you for sharing your stories. I was deeply moved by them.



Anyone else from the school of hard knocks living in another land now?
My outsides may seem middle class (or higher income according to this site)
but my insides don't match the outside

This definitely describes me. Growing up poor left scars on my soul that I don't think will ever heal. No matter how much money I have, I will always feel like one of the "have nots".

Thank all of you for sharing your stories. I was deeply moved by them.



This definitely describes me. Growing up poor left scars on my soul that I don't think will ever heal. No matter how much money I have, I will always feel like one of the "have nots".

Amanda, you hit the nail on the head. Due to events during my childhood, I am terrified that I somehow screw up the finances, possibly lose the house, etc.....

Thanks so much for relating on that.

There are just so many social aspects to improving your station life.
You may have moved up a little in life...... but you have NOTHING in common with people who have never been in any other bracket etc..

You never quite fit somehow?

I see a pattern here...
My all time low was with first ex husband. He was emotionally abusive as well. Wouldn't let me work, even though I had a degree and he was a high school drop-out. Anyway, I remember moving across country with him and our son and we had NO money.
We had a car payment due so that the truck wouldn't be re-posessed (Mom send ME the money) and he went to Fed Ex to send the payment next day and the next day Fed Ex comes to my door - with the check. Idiot couldn't even fill out the form correctly!
Meanwhile, we had like $5 for groceries til he got paid so I bought a bag of potatoes and some milk for the baby. I (he got meals at work) lived off of potatoes cooked any way possible. Occasionally using some of the milk for gravy (didn't want the baby to run out). And do you know what that guy had the nerve to do? On payday he cashed his check (minimum wage at a mall as security) and took his friends out for pizza and beer! Blew the whole check!! Anyway, he felt guilty and brought me home the "leftovers" - the butt ends of the pizza! That other people had eaten on!! Ugh! We learn SO much from our mistakes.

I guess I'm one of the few that doesn't meet the pattern.

Wow--what a bunch of strong beautiful people we have here. I'm in awe of your stories and thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Amanda--I know a little of what you are talking about. Sometimes I'm absolutely amazed I'm living where I am because I grew up poor. I'm going to start a kith on that right this instant!

My worst years were as a child. I remember using the phone book pages because there wasn't enough money to buy toilet paper. I also remember that an abandoned apple orchard provided meals when we ran out of food one fall. One winter there wasn't enough money to fill the propane tank. We heated water over the fireplace and cooked on a single electric burner. We also got lots of eviction notices, though we somehow managed to escape homelessness.

Through the help of grants and student loans I put myself through college. I was going to finish school, even if it killed me. Have had some ups and downs since then, but nothing quite my childhood memories.

When I had my daughter I promised myself that she would never know hunger and financial desperation. So far I have kept my promise.

Thank you for sharing these stories. This is an incredible thread. I am currently counting my blessings because I have nothing that even comes close to some of these experiences.:grouphug2

When I was married and the hubby got laid off we went a few weeks without money. For food I went with hubby while he hunted for food, I personally hate hunting because it makes me feel bad but had to set my feelings aside and do it so we had something to eat.

After things got better I learned the value of coupons, sales, and rebates to stretch our food money out.

I fall into the grew up poor (eating out of trash can's living in a barn my dad built with no utilites( period). Lowest there was when dfs made us buy an old school bus full of gargbage for $1000 to live in because it was better for our family than in the "home" my dad had built.
It does make me live very frugally now. Always way below our means. My husband has to do the Christmas shopping because I can't bring myself to spend the money.
Husband grew up well off and it is a wierd world when we visit his family verses my parents. Who now live rich, but are still always completely broke.
Angel

Wooooooooooooooow!!!! You ladies really are an inspiration. I have experienced nothing like you have but you're stories have shown me that one can do and survive anything! Than you truly for sharing your stories. You'll never know how much you've inspired me!

God Bless
Kim

thank you all for sharing your stories. :rose:

may each and everyone on here never have to face those kind of day.

God Bless you all!!!!

I think I may be heading to my all time financial low right now. I'm trying to hold everything together, things may work out if I earn enough the next couple of weeks. I keep telling myself I can do it, I have to for my children

Thank you ladies for sharing your personal experiences with us. I have cried while reading many of these and have had to walk away a few times to digest it all.

I grew up not poor, but in the working class in a large family. We had a big drafty victorian house that I loved and always had sufficient food to eat.

I've had a few rough spots in my adult life due to marrying at 18, DD at 20, divorce from abuser at 21. Since I grew up in an abusive fam, I refused to have my child raised in that atmosphere. I was poor. Could not even affort to buy a diaper bag. Used an old Avon bag for it and it was embarrassing since everyone could tell right away how poor I was.

I've always worked hard to support my daughter and myself and moved up the corp ladder to middle mgmt without college. In 1989 when there were no good jobs for me in So FL due to the economy I sold our stuff, packed the car, and my daughter and I moved to Seattle with nothing but what we had in the car. The economy was good in Seattle at the time, and I had a sister near Tacoma. DD's 9th b-day was on the road. It was a fun adventure, but we arrived with $120 to our name. It was by God's grace that I found a babysitter for the remainder of the summer, found contract work immediately in Seattle, and found a cheap apt. Went to Goodwill and bought 2 plates, 2 forks, knives, spoons, bowls, a saucepan and frypan. Thankfully someone left 2 teacups in the apt so we did not need glasses. After daycare and work we would walk to the library and read, then to the grocery and buy a few potatoes and a small piece of meat.... no furniture, no tv, no nothing.... But life was GOOD. Due to hard work, we got what we needed and did better although money was always tight. I worked, was mom to DD, was host parent to Int'l students

Then the layoff! The mom of one of DDs friends told me that DD confessed she was scared we'd be homeless. One of my 2 lowest points...It was bad, but I held on and did not let on to DD how close it was -- did not want it to be her worry. Kids are so perceptive... they know what's going on even when we try to shield them. I qualified for college grants as a Dislocated Worker so went to school as well. Busy times building for the future.

My 2nd lowest point came when heat was ready to be cut off -- I tried everything but since I made a little money from Int'l Students I did not qualify.... Out of desparation I went to the Salvation Army and met with the women there. I explained my situation and she actually wrote out a check to the heating company on the spot to pay my full balance of $260. She said I was a good bet. I finally broke down. Right there. Like a 2 year old. This woman was truly a gift from God to me. That $260 made all the difference in the world to me.

I give to the Salvation Army every year. At Christmas alone, I put money in every single bucket I pass. I will always be greatful to them and want them to have funds to give others.

I'm unemployed now again, but know that I will never be that far down again -- I've learned so much over the years.

I have also learned so much from all of you -- I now grocery shop better and conserve elec and heat better, and so many things. I feel rich and blessed to have you all in my life.

thanks for letting me share this with you.
Jennifer

I feel very humbled after reading through this thread. :hugz: Congratulations to all of you who have made it through such difficult times.

I am personally in the midst of a financial crisis right now. :cracked: I'm fresh out of high school and living with my boyfriend, far away from family and friends. We were doing fine when we moved here a few months ago...we found work doing over-the-phone customer service within a couple weeks of searching for jobs and, although we watched our savings dwindle as we waited for those first pay checks, we made it through.

After about a month and a half of working there, we started to question some of the company's policies regarding personal time; we found out we weren't being paid for some of the time we spent working for customers while not on the phone. Frustration, coupled with the high degree of stress and dissatisfaction I got from performing customer service for a company I dislike, led us to quit.

Fast forward a month, my partner still has not found steady employment despite excellent qualifications for any sort of administrative/management position although he has found temporary positions through an agency, and I'm being scheduled to work less than 20 hours a week despite my completely open availability. There's also a two week delay when it comes to pay and, because one of my supervisors forgot to schedule me for an entire two weeks and said she could not modify the budget after I called several times to be added to the schedule, I am not being paid for an entire month. :bang: When I do get paid, I will be receiving under $200.

Even though we get everything we eat from the food bank, do not have even basic cable, don't go out either to eat or be entertained, and have not purchased anything even remotely related to the holidays, we are struggling to get by.

Good news though! After a night of number crunching, we found that we will have enough money to pay rent and utilities and, surprise, a tiny bit left over for the holidays when my best friend comes to visit. And the money from my boyfriend's job will start picking up this week! The only thing that can make this better is if one of the over twenty employers I've applied with begins hiring again after the holiday rush! :smirk:

Thank you for the opportunity to vent. :relieved:

For all of you, you're amazing to have pulled through. I too have hit the bottom in the 90's, but I don't care to share my story, it's too painful. But I some how, by the grace of Gad, came through it all, and am here today. in debt due to stupidity. But when you've done without necessities, you tend to over compensate. Now it's time to find the happy medium.

We are all so strong, aren't we? To thos of us still struggling...hang in there. I'm glad y'all are here to share your diificult times with us and so that we can support you. For those who have been there, done that...all of your stories are an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing them.

I think my lowest point was pobably when I was a single 19 year old mother with a newborn baby and no job. I knew I (and my little one) would get through somehow and we did. We are all survivors in our own way.


--Michelle

What an encouraging thread. It is so good to see how many can overcome trials and tribulations and make the best of them.

Our family also has had our share of Financial struggles. DH and I got married on 8-1-98. The first couple years of marriage were very good financially. We both have college degrees, although DH is struggling to get employment in his field of Radio Broadcasting. All the years of our marriage he has struggled to have ample employment and income for our family. A couple of months after we got married in '98 I began researching and discovering Frugal Living as we knew once we began a family, I would be a SAHM. We began cutting corners and living frugally right away.

We had our first ds in April '02. 1 month before ds was born DH lost his job 24 hr a week job at Kmart. We had just moved into a new apartment 2 weeks prior to him losing his job. By July '02 we moved out of that apartment after being court evicted and we moved in with a family from our church. This was actually a blessing for both families. We needed a place to live, they had room. They were needing some help with their 5 girls ages who at the time were ages 12, 10, 8, 4, and 2. The mom helping to care for her ailing dad and also being a helper to her sister who at the time had some medical problems. During this time the dad ended up in hospice at the home of the family and most of the care was left up to the mom. We ended up living there for 9 months before DH found a second part time job in addition to his part time radio gig. Upon moving out in May '03 things were going good financially. DH was working as a Morning Show News Producer at Moody Radio in Chicago and also as a Package Handler at UPS. His day began at 5am-8:30am at the radio station, then 9:30am-2:30pm at UPS M-F.

We were getting ready to move to a new apartment in April '05, when DH was fired from Moody Radio. We still moved to the new apartment, DH began receiving unemployment, I began assisting my father who lived across the street from us, as he was just released from a rehabiliation hospital after spending 2 months in the hospital due to kidney, diabetes and heart issues. DH also began working at home part time. After Labor day of that year, the company DH was working for no longer needed his assistance. We were doing OK, until November when DH received his last unemployment check. He was under the assumption that he received checks for 1 yr, even though he had been told otherwise. So this leads up to the story that I attached to this post.

SEE ATTACHED Word Document first.

Then take a look at this blog post of mine from last week:God is so Good (http://weblog.xanga.com/familymgrkendra/633548933/god-is-soo-good-a-testimony-of-gods-goodness.html)



Along the way through all our finanical struggles, I have always remained very frugal and a lot of family and friends credit that God given talent of mine as our survival mode and keeping us afloat. I truly feel blessed that God has allowed me to be frugal and content with the blessings he chooses for us. I also feel very blessed for this board and other internet resources available for helping me along my way.

Thanks for reading my long winded story of our lowest points and allowing me to share!!

My all time low was when I was a single mom with 3 kids. My ex-husband left with our rent money. I lived with my kids in my car for awhile. I ended up needing to ask for government assistance. Then I found a job and an apartment. I was working min. wage and received an eviction notice every month because I couldn't pay the rent on time. Luckily, they never threw me out. I needed food stamps for many years to feed us. I didn't even have 2 nickels to rub together.

Well there have been many financial lows really. Growing up my family didn't have 2 dimes to rub together but we were always fed and had hand me down clothes. Worked well.
When was fresh out of school I got married and found out soon after I was expecting. My exh was fairly high ranking in the military and we had ample money but he wouldn't allow me access to it because of course I would see all the nasty stuff he was spending it on so basically I spent a pregnancy living off of potatoes, if I ate at all. I remember my mother and siblings driving up north to visit me right before I had DS and they were just appaled that there was no food in the house. They took me out to sams and stocked up the pantry so their daughter could actually eat a meal. All this was while the exh bought big screens,new guns,nights at hotels with strange women blah blah.
Anyways, I have DS who turns out to have more medical problems than one could imagine( basically paralyzed/pround mental retardation, huge laundry list of stuff) and anyways I decided to stay even though it was pure misery simply because I didn't have the time or energy to deal with all of his therapies,appts,etc AND be a single mom financially( Because I was already a single mom in every other way) Well a few months after I had DS no birth control was gonna work for me apparently( I was on 2 forms!) and I got pregnant with DD. More of the same went on, constant cheating,constant emotional abuse,occassional physical abuse..... Within weeks of having DD I decided to pack up and leave. I called my family who drove days to come and get us and left with the clothes on our backs. I went home to Missouri and lived with the folks for a few months before finding a very small 2 bedroom apt to rent and a job 2 days a week at a daycare that I bring the kiddos with me to. Still to this day 2 years later I haven't heard from the exh and don't get a dime. We're still poor but we manage just fine. This site has honestly helped me tremendously. We don't have money to just waste but even with all the bills and just the part time work, I'm able to at least pay them which is just wonderful!

Your story is inspiring. May you continue to climb mountains and gain financial freedom.

DH and I come from vastly different backgrounds. I grew up on welfare and he grew up upper middle class. WE always had food and clothes to wear. My sister and I learned to sew at an early age and I was paying for all of my own clothes and entertainment by the time I was sixteen. I worked part time at our public library and every weekend babysitting. My sister and I were the ONLY teenagers in married student housing (our parents were both students when we were in school). We had a monopoly on the babysitting market!

DH and I moved in together when were were 19. It was rough, but we always made it through. We married when I was 20 and he was 21. We moved to be near my inlaws and both of us got jobs. We did well, but never had lots extra.

When I FINALLY got pregnant after eleven years and fertility surgery,we knew we were in for some tight times. We decided that we wanted me home with the baby since DH's earning power was greater than mine. My FIL hired me to work at home doing bookkeeping for his business. Then--WHAMMO!--I got pregnant again!

We has DS#2 thirteen months after DS#1. We also had to buy a different car. With all of these thing combined, our income effectively went FORTY percent. We lived in one of the wealthiest towns in Oregon and probably could have applied for and received food stamps and WIC. However, we stuck it out. Boy, did my roots pay off then!

I cooked everything from scratch and made do with very little. WE had a diaper service rather than home-washed diapers because my dryer was decrepit and water was waaaay more expensive int he new town we had moved to than where we lived before. It was actually cheaper to have diaper service for two than it was to wash them at home, if you can believe it!

Once the boys were older, FIL retired and sold his business. The new owners kept me on for another year and then I was let go as they changed their system. I wasn't sure what I was going to do, but on the same day, I had TWO job offers. I took the one at the library and have been there for eight years.

I have a black belt in frugality and use it almost all the time. We have an occasional splurge and go out to eat (with a coupon). My DSs don't want for anything but are learning good values about saving to buy something and paying cash for it!. DH is much better about the money and where it goes. Since we pay the bills together, he knows that nothing is being wasted.

I have been very, very lucky to be blessed with such a wonderful DH. He has always been there for me and never pulled any of the awful things some of you other ladies have had happen.

I have to say that while reading all of these events, it gave me flash backs of my lowest times. I feel like I am currently right on my way to repeating those hard times. I am in the process of losing my house. I got it while being a single mom of 4 kids and felt so proud of my grand acomplishment. No one in my family had ever purchased a home. So I did not know much of the financing. My soon to be ex- came back into our lives after 7 yrs. He basically came back with lies, only to have me get a line of credit to buy him a motercyle to save us money as we where both commuting. Well that was not the reason. He got all he wanted and left me with the mortgage and now the equity line of credit that I had budg. with both of our earnings. I will soon lose my house. My credit is going down the drain and that will make it hard to find a rental. It's scarry but I know I will be ok. I have gone thru so much and God has always provided. I commute so my money goes mainly on gas. I have family where I work but none of them ever offers me a night to spend at their home to help me out. That gets me, but does not suprise me. I have had a lot of misfortunes. But have always come out of them...not even knowing how.
On my daughter graduation day, I picked up my mom and we went grocery shopping to have a BBQ at my house. Well my mini van was full, with my mom and I and 4 kids plus the groceries. We where on a very curvy highway here in central CA. I was about 1/2 way home when my van stoped working. I pulled over and it would not start. I prayed to God and asked that he helps us as where we ended up being was not the greatest place. I did not have a phone and could not get help. After about 1/2 the van started. We drove about 5 miles and it gave out again. I ended up going down a hill and pulled over to a rest stop. Many people go fishing there. It was full of cars and it was dark. All of the sudden these two men came over and started small talk with my mom. She explained to them what had happend. They offered to give me a ride to the nearby town. I was scarred to go in a car with two strange men. I think they felt my fear because they suggested I bring along my son who was about 15. Not only did they give me a ride but lent me their car for the weekend while I figured something out. I could not beleave what they did for me. No one in my own family nor friends would have done that for me. Yet God allowed me to drive a little further to where he had these two heaven sent helpers. My mom told one of her brothers about this story and I did the same with my ex and to this day they can't beleave that someone now in days could do that. I have broken down on the freeway in the rain w/all of my 4 kids. Their own father would not come to pick us up. A stranger w/a new car pulled over and took us to a safe place. Some days I have no lunch for myself as the last of my money went towards the lunch for my kids. Somehow it's always on a day that one of my co-works brings extra or decides to eat out and gives me her lunch. I have never asked for it nor stated that I needed it, God has just provided. Don't get me wrong it's been rough. I don't have cable, and right now my TV went out. So no TV either. It's going to be a long holiday break for my kids hehe. You just can't give up. You do get strong and also get closer to your kids.

Struglew3kids and Mamaof2rugrats, you both have such a positive attitude in the face of so much adversity. Keep the faith. I'll keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.


--Michelle

Struglew3kids I will be praying for you , your story truly touched my heart. All of your stories are inspiring , and I will keep all of you in my thoughts and prayers.

All of your stories are amazing and shows your will and strength. For all of us who have had obstacles and hard times, just know that they only make you stronger!

I second (or third or fourth) what people have been saying about how strong and wonderful you all are. For those of you who are struggling or are losing a battle- look at who has made it through situations like yours. They represent the most admirable of us.

Thanks I sure could use the prayers. Sometimes your mind is so cloudy that the words don't come out when your trying to pray. Good thing he knows our hearts and our thoughts. I have a interview tomorrow for a second pt job preparing taxes. The last thing I want to do is be away from my kids even more, but I need to start saving for a deposit for a apartment in case I do lose my home. So please continue to keep me in your prayers.

I filed bankruptcy in 2005, worse thing I ever did, I should have got a second job and paid off my medical and credit cards, I was young with large credit card limits, then lost my job, hospital with no insurance. Put myself in a terrible situation. Well I can say I sure know better now, I hope to NEVER go through that again, I felt like such a :loser: I am still trying to recover from this... :shame:

Looking back on my worst time really helps me appriciate how far i have come in a short time. I might still have a TON of Debt, but getting up and facing the day is plesant!!

When i was with my EX... we lost the trailer we were living in.. His dad found us a "nice place" to rent from a friend of his at church for $300 a month. The "nice place" was a SMALL maybe 50ftX10ft 3bedroom 1 bath trailer on the edge of a cow pasture. When i went to clean there was no water and i noticed dead cockroaches everywhere in the cabinets on counter tops. When i was moving things in i noticed the roof was leaking. (MY ex after moving the first load had fallen in a sezure and broken his shoulder bone. )

I finally got us moved in and him "home" and what did he do but complain and drink. It was cold, because the heater didn't work. So i borrowed a kero heater from my Ex dad, the wick died. So we had one electric heater to heat the place. None of the windows worked they were the old roll kind and had long since stopped rolling all the way shut. I duck taped them from outside and put the seal wrap on them ( yah know the kind that yah can make pockets and things out of to put food in), then put every blanket i could find over them with nails.

We slept on a matress on the floor. Luckily i had Sampson my great dane Black Lab and Shadow. He slept towards the wall and my Ex slept on the other side with Shadow between my legs so i was atleast semi warm.

First 3 months we lived there we had no water. I would take gallon jugs and go get water from his dads house and bring it back and heat water on the stove to do dishes. When we did get water we had no hot water and the water pressure was so poor that the water dribbled from the shower which was a pipe coming from the wall at about my shoulders.

There was no income except when his dad would have work for us, which i would go help do metal work. Somedays when he refused to go i would go by myself. Sometimes i would go and ask if there was something i could do around his dad's house just so i could pay the electric. I washed, waxed, and detailed everyones cars including company vehicles inside and out. I cleaned houses. I cleaned the office. I did everything i could to make the bills, while Searching for a job, while my MIL constantly bitched at me. My FIL's wife actually told me i should leave my ex, i knew she was right but i wasn't willing to admit it yet KWIM. I was brought up that you were supposed to do everything in your power to keep a relationship together.

Summer hit and it was hotter then hell. And with the hot weather came the lady bugs first which invaded the trailer, then the flies and roaches, then as it got hotter the Fleas and Ticks. I was bitten lord knows how many times. I ended up with several boils that wouldn't go away, now i think it might have been staff infections.

My Ex was drinking like a fish in his own little world. The only words i got were hateful and mean. Finally he ended up in the hospital with pancritis ( again ) and was in there for a month, because he had a Psuedocyst. I was alone most litterally except for Sampson and Shadow. Then the worst happened Sampson had learned how to get out the back door because it didn't shut properly, well he got out because i had used the back door to go out of to clean the rabbit cages, which i was trying to hurry because there was a storm coming with thunder and lightening and i had to get the rabbit cages clean cause i had waited to long as it was because i had been working at my FIL's and going to the hospital an hour away every day. Sampson got out and i was like he will be okay for a few minutes. BAM!! It sounded like a car wreck out front.. i knew .. i knew as soon as i heard it that it was Sampson. * crying Rt now* I went running around the house screaming for him to come and the rain started pouring. The truck that hit him going over the hill a good 1/2 mile down the road. I found him in a ditch just before our mail box about 5 ft from the road laying there crumpled like a rag doll trying to respond, but not able to do more then breath. I ran back to house and got the phone, and a list of numbers, and a blanket. Came running back out of the house calling my FIL the closest to me.. no answer.. called everyone i could think of no answer.. called my MIL she was like UHM i will try his cell.. cause i had no clue where there was a vet clinic or how to get there. While i was on the phone the truck that hit Sampson pulls up. They asked if i was the owner of the dog they hit and wanted to use my phone to call the cops to report it.. the passenger tells me oh that dogs dead cause he flew a good 200ft. I litterally begged these guys to tell me where a vet was and they were like oh he is dead. The road speed limit was 35MPH. MY FIL finally got there and was like lets get him in the house and maybe he will come around. The guys helped carry him in and i got him a pillow. My FIL looked him over not a scratch anywhere on him except for a small diamond cut on his forehead. We had him in the house maybe a minute when he tried to come around. Moved his paw and tried to lift his head and then 2 minutes later he stopped breathing.

I lost it.. and i mean lost it... it was like i had lost my very soul that very second .. i would have laid down my life that very second if the devil himself would have walked through that door to bring Sampson back. Sampson had become by strong point the reason me and my EX had been staying together. It was like my whole world was gone.

I drove to the hopsital right after because i couldn't handle being alone in the house with Sampsons body. Still sobbing and not lucidly talking my ex was like it was just a dog it wasn't your fault.. i told him then and there that he had to stop drinking or that was it i couldn't loose anything else or i would loose my mind and my own will to live. He said alright ( which he had said before and had never gone through with it ).

I finally went home because i couldn't sleep at the hospital and didn't want to keep my Ex up cause i couldn't stop crying. I went home and Sampson was laying there in the living room just a shell his soul had already left eyes starting to sink in. I sat there and appologized to him and petting him for an hour or so before covering him completely over and going to bed. I passed out.

Early the next morning i went to my MIL to talk to them about trying to get my EX into treatment again. Where my MIL's Husband said that he was glad that Sampson had died because it brought me around to his side ( WRONG WORDS FOR HIM TO USE).

It was over 2 months before he got into a treatment facility. After scaring me half to death one time driving right before going unto a program because i pissed him off over something and hitting the curb at such a speed that my tire blew. He went into a religious program and i moved in with my MIL and her husband. I moved everything and ended up pulling my back while trying to lift the tv up their stairs because my MIL's husband wouldn't move out of the way, he wanted me to back down the stairs instead of him moving back to steps on level ground so i could get in the house.

Right before i had moved in they had decided on weight watchers, they ate only the soy filled pointed foods. My MIL would eat bran flakes, chocolate muffins, and ice cream as her only intake. Kid you not. The only time they ate a meal was when they went out to eat ( never brought me anything back ) or if i made it and i would get the 5th degree if it was healthy or not *rme*. I knew the rules and there was no junk in the house for me to make it with not even real butter. Worst i could have done was put veggie oil in it.

I was the only one who cleaned, washed dishes, walked the dog, ect. They would sit there and watch tv or go out places, but never lifted a finger the whole time i lived there.

Needless to say i got sick really sick. My hair started to fall out, i had my period for a month straight HEAVY. I told my MIL i was getting sick and i thought it was because of all of the soy i was consuming. She ignored me.

My MIL's hubby gave me an ultimatum 1 month to find a job and get my own place. I had been looking for a job by now for 6 months with no sucess. I got the lecture about how he had walked from place to place putting in applications. ( Helped that his family was rich im talking his mom was giving 10 berchire hathoway(sp) shares to each child as christmas presents every year at 90K a pop and everyone in the area knew who his family was) Then i got another lecture when i was trying to go visit my Ex on visitation day/ bible study.. the spare tire which i had been running on for so long and had asked my MIL if she could help me get it fixed because i thought it was close to going finally popped at a stop sign on a little road. My MIL's hubby got me a used tire to put on finally and had someone come out and put it on.

Needless to say i finally broke down and called my mom and asked her if i could move back home. She lived 9 hours from me. She said okay and we decided a time to pick me up.

I lived with her for 3 months and then( stupidly ) came back down here for my EX shoulder surgery got douped into believing he wasn't drinking again. Which he lied to me of course. We got married legally finally. And then i found out he was drinking again and barrel rolled down hill for a while then he went back to work and we got a trailer of our own and things went back to being okay for a few months. But with the money he was able to get more drunk and finally was ending up in the hospital again.

Finally i realized when i was working and he wasn't. And i was having to sleep with my wallet under my side of the bed so he wouldn't take the money for the bills i was hardly able to pay. The neighbors were telling me he was beating our new dog because he wasn't going up the steps fast enough. When i was afraid to wake up in the mornings for fear that i would be beside a corpse and afraid to come home from work because i knew he was going to be there and just didn't want to deal with the hateful words or him throwing food because i pissed him off. When i found out he had been getting money from his mom under the ploy that our electric was about to be cut off or i needed gas to go to work just so he could get something to drink. When i was so desprite to see him stop that i was pouring out every container of alchohol i could find no matter the conciquences. I finally decided to tell him we had to seperate, a nice way to say we were over period, but i was to afraid to say that because he would have killed me.

I realized that what i had been through for years had been abuse and although not much of it had been hitting or physically painful that the scars were still there from wounds that ran deeper and hurt worse then any physical wound and are going to take a lot longer to heal from and that i needed to get free.

I am still even now working through a lot of issues. I say sorry repedatively and cower over little things still. Luckily, i have a wonderful man by my side now, who is understanding of my insecurities and instead of using them is trying to rid me of them by telling me when i am doing something thats off and asking me why i am doing that by making me think and to come to the root of the issue so that i can grow and become a better person.

Same as i do for him when he wants a cold beer on a hot day after mowing the lawn. He is a recovering alchoholic ( 4 years sober ) and as he says he will be a recovering alchoholic all his life, because there is no recovering from being an alchoholic because you pick up that first glass and your gone back into that spiral straight to your own personal hell and he doesn't ever want to be that person again nor live that life. As he always says he is to proud to be by myside and sharing his life with mine to mess it up like that. That and he is very excited about our upcoming baby *G*

Eeeep.. sorry that was so long.. i tend to get a little wordy... that and emotional and discriptive.

I still really have a hard time with Sampsons death.

Eeeep.. sorry that was so long.. i tend to get a little wordy... that and emotional and discriptive.

I still really have a hard time with Sampsons death.


Thanks for sharing your story. It made me cry when I read about sampson's death. I would have felt like punching that driver and THEN punching my husband for saying "he's just a dog"!

I don't really like to even remember the time. When I was 18 I was homeless. My Momma and I have had a wretched relationship since she remarried when I was 7. (I now have to take care of her and it is galling) I lived for 9 weeks during the winter in a 1976 Chevy Nova. I did not turn to other family members because I wanted to avoid a huge, extended family drama.

I did have a full-time job in addition to my theatre work and just kept praying that no-one at work would discover I was living in my car. I showered at truck-stops. I ate PB sandwiches only, it was all I could think of to keep in the car that I could afford and that wouldn't spoil. I was saving every penny for an apartment.

One of my male BF ( who was 31 years-old...met at an audition) discovered my secret. He was horrified and quite livid. He told his parents. His whole family got in an uproar about my homelessness. I ended sharing a room with his sister for thee weeks, hated it and felt like a mooch. His family would not let me pay rent or room and board. When I decided to move out, BF suggested we share a place to split expenses. I said no, because I was not raised to shack-up with men. Even if nothing happened it would look like shacking-up. He asked me to marry him. So, out of desperation I did.

I remained in this misguided, miserable poverty-stricken marriage for 17 years. For 16 1/2 we had separate bedrooms, living in celibacy. It was one of the greatest mistakes of my life. Guilt kept me in the a situation I should never have agreed to.

Things are so much better now. I am now married to a man I truly love and finally have a real husband, not a housemate. Our finances are tight but he works with me, he's a team-player in frugal living.

I have been through some horribly tight spots through the years, but living in a car was the absolute worst time financially that I've personally experienced.. However I was grateful that I actually owned a car to live in! It could've been worse.

jennybethg~ Oh that guy came back and harrassed me telling me he wanted my info cause it was my fault he hit the dog and that my dog had destroyed the whole side of his truck ECT.

Then his insurance company called me trying to decide if i was liable or not. I told them if he hit the dog where he was he had hit him from off the road. That when he hit him it had sounded like a car wreck and they had told me that it was about 200ft that my dog had flew and that they knew it was a dog from the get go so they had known what it was before hitting it. Then had left the scene and only come back because they saw damage to their truck. This was one of those HUGE extended cab Long bed with the front grate thing on it.. the only damage to Sampson was a diamond shape cut on his forehead that was smaller then an inch with no noticable broken bones. So there is no way that the whole side of his truck was distroyed like he was saying. Plus he was speeding and drunk. She was like well did you hear him try to avoid the dog, no it was just a big bang no squealing tires not even after the bang. She asked me if i leashed my dog, i said normally he was on a lead by the house when he was outside because he prefered to be inside. She told me right then and there that i was not liable for any of the damages.

Then he came to the house again and told me that i was liable and that i had to pay $5K to him to pay for the damages. And said that he would replace the dog cause he knew someone who had puppies. Which i took total offense to and told him not to bother because Sampson would never be replaced. I told him i didn't have any money and that my Husband was in the hospital right now.

Then he came BACK the night that my Ex came home from the hospital telling me i had to give him 30% of what it took to fix his truck. By then i had mentally went over the accident and nothing fit except that he had run off the road to hit Sampson. Plus there was no way for the damage to be down the side of his truck if they had watched Sampson fly 200ft and slightly away from the truck to land off the road as far as he did. I measured back from where Sampson was laying to where they would have hit him, ect. So i gave him the 5th degree.. cause i saw red instead of getting depressed and crying. I told him firstly you were speeding on a road that has children who live across the road where you Sampson. What if it had been one of those small children would you have just left and come back when you noticed your car was damaged. Or would you have bothered to swirve a little and apply the breaks. He goes well your dog was black and it was dark ( 7pm ). I said okay and he has a white blaze on his chest the only damage he had was a diamond shaped cut on middle of his forehead so you hit him head on and would have had to have seen his blaze because he was directly under a street light. He was standing there opening and shutting his mouth a few times then said well yah atleast have to pay some of it cause its your dog that messed up my truck if it was my dog i would have helped them pay for it. I said fine you can talk to my Husband cause i know he would LOVE to talk to you about this, went in the house and got my EX who came out wrist strap still on from the hopsital came on the portch and crossed his arms infront of the guy and said whats up. OMG talk about a brown streak that guy made one.

He thought i was a lone female and i was easy prey. Came to find out that he had hit several other peoples animals on that road, which no one leashed there animals because it was country. He was known to speed on the road and had tried this before. Which was why i gave him an earfull. Cause i couldn't help but think of all the other animals who had been hit and hurt with their "parents" not home and had died a slow painful death because of that JACK *BEEP* and "parents" who came home to find their animal horribly injured, missing or laying dead in the road. ( Our next door neighbors who had the children .. their dog had been one of those victims too.. their dog hoped into this guys truck while he was there that night .. luckily the owner of the dog saw it and got the dog out because he was already trying to rip the apolstry up. )



My hunny was homeless for a while. He has told me about some of the stuff that he had to do to survive. The town he was in said that there was not a homeless problem at all because the Salvation army had a 1000 beds. They didn't mention however that there were less then 100 beds for men the rest were for women and children. The men could only stay in a homeless shelter for 3 days out of a month and it was only open to them when it was WELL below freezing. He said that there were some nights where they tried to get arrested just so that they could get into some sort of shelter, because there was none to be found when it was really cold. Then the cops figured it out and they would just take them out and dump them in a different area. He said that he had waited for fast food joints to dump their trash and raced to dumpsters to be the first one in it so he could lay claim on it and pick through it for food. That there would often be fights over dumpsters. He had seen people die over little scraps of food or a pair of old shoes. He drank from puddles in the street to get water. ECT. Sometimes we have people come up begging for money and he can tell when they are just conning and when they are real. He will get them food if we have the extra money so that they could have something to eat, but if he knew they were conning he would be almost out and out mean. He said when he was on the street he saw to many people playing homeless and then walking away to brand new cars and things.

Example there used to be a man who would stand on the street corner right outside of the flea market with a sign saying that he had kids and wife and they needed money and gas in brand new high dollar shoes. Every weekened mind yah and people would stop and give him money. One weekend i had been working at a truck stop and a trucker had dropped off a TON of boxes of bananas for free to whom ever wanted them and i had grabbed as many as i could ( 23 boxes ). Next weekend when we went to the flea market we took them with us. Joe had me stop and he unloaded 3 boxes of bananas at the guys feet then told the guy to sell something instead of begging. Yes it was mean, but there was a lot of things that didn't add up.

I have already posted one of my stories here at the start of the thread (I feel humbled though) - but I just wanted to say that all of you ladies are truly awesome!! Some stories are heartbreaking, some are inspiring! I am honored to visit and belong to a website that has so many strong people as members!!
Dianne

Reading all these stories.. it makes you happy that you have come through the hard times.. its nice to know others have had hard times too .. makes since why we are all so frugal now, cause we learned and kept learning so we could keep out of those situations and be prepared in the future. We will over come and survive because we know how to do what we need to.

BTW i think this is a cute little story IMO.. a little off topic yet not.

There was an older gentleman i knew in college. He stepped a little off the beaten path. He wore the same overalls every day ( or atleast they looked the same maybe he got 2 at the same time, but i swear it was the same ones) with sandles and a shirt, combed his hair straight down his back and if i ever saw it back it was back with a price of raw hide or a rubber band. When he got a new pair of overhauls my third year i was SHOCKED!! He lived in the college parking lot in his old VW van, where he had a little cot and all his stuff. Showered, Shaved & , laundered his clothes in the colleges Locker rooms.

He was a student, yet he wouldn't take them up on a dorm room. Cause he was a "free spirit". He was very mellow character you would almost think he was a pot head, which i wouldn't have doubted. Yet, he was smart as a whip he knew what he was doing and where he was going. He had degrees out the ying yang got high GPA. Worked through student programs and summer camps to make even more $.

He loved his simple little life. He could pick up when ever he wanted and go camping or what ever he wanted to do. He had went over to Vietnam having been a flower child it was against himself to go but he had had to. He was determined to live out his life his way and never stay conformed inside what society told you to do and by his way of thinking what the government said to do.

To himself he was living in the lap of luxury. He had clothes on his back, a place to rest his bones, food to fill his belly ( college Cafeteria, he became good pals with the head cook and would get special meals *lol* ), he had tons of books he could look at when ever he wanted and he had computer access when he needed to write up papers Ect. But most important he had his freedom and he was happy.

Happy living in what most of us would not think was the ideal situation.

This has been one of the most emotional threads I have read here. You ladies are awesome. It has been truly inspiring.

Wow, you women move me beyond explanation. I'm so proud of all of you! What beautiful strong people we have here!

gg - your tale of Mr Fox has brought tears to my eyes. I can just imagine the joy for your son.
Ladies - how i admire you all. Like others have said, we are a strong bunch!!!
W

I,m 66 now, but about 7 years ago I was working as a licensed nurse,( I have been one for over 30 years) got hurt off the job site and I tried working for awhile, but it got so bad I ended up in a wheelchair before the end of one of my shifts. When I finally knew I wouldn,t be able to work again I sat down and cried like a baby, knowing I was going to lose everything. You see, I have never saved for a rainy day. Always lived paycheck to paychek, so I knew I was in deep dodo. I had bought a new mobile home,( one of those new 16= 80,s) My mortgage was $275 a month. I paid $60 lot rent, $44.00 a mo. insurance on it besides a car payment of $280, car ins $60, all this along with cable, internet, phone, groceries, gas to work, etc. When my checks stopped I had $366.62 a month coming in from my late husband,s pension. I could barely pay my mortguage on that. I knew I was going to lose verything. This was the first home I had owned since my husband died. It made me physically ill. I ended up on widow,s benefits and food stamps and moved into public housing to make ends meet. I am still here and things are still tight. It,s embarrassing to tell people I am in housing when they all know I,ve been a nurse all my life, but you do what you have to to survive. I,ve learned that most hardships are due to bad choices in life and I,ve tried to make better ones since all of this has happened.

One of my lowest points was probably back in high school. My dad has always been an alcoholic with a gambling problem. He was probably making $60,000-80,000 a year, but we lived in poverty, even when my mom worked full-time in a nursing home. My mom injured her back on the job and got a $36,000 settlement, which she used to put a large down-payment on a house because the one we were in was cockroach infested and 2 blocks from where a meth lab blew up. When I was 17 I met my now-husband. Dad had taken off back to Tennessee (where his family is) to find jobs working in construction. He pretty much abandoned us with no food, no money, and no gas or electricity. I wanted out of that life, so I tried to leave to move in with my bf (now husband) who lived 65 miles away. Long story short, mom found out, dragged me out of my car, slapped me, I called the police, then she kicked me out the next day. I was 18, so there was nothing she could really do. Noone thought I was going to finish high school, but I did. I drove 65 miles each way everyday for my last 6 months of high school. I worked a full time job in my new town where I had to work from 4 pm-2:30 am, Sat-Tues, 10 hour shifts. I had over $1,000 coming in every payday and was able to still able to help my mom out with groceries and a few of her bills on top of my own and still had money left over. This was in 2004 and I have never regretted leaving. I am now a homemaker and run my own side business of making reenactment clothing for Civil War reenactors.

i know its depressing but its also inspiration so bump

i know its depressing but its also inspiration so bump

It soooo absolutely is an inspiration. Thank you for bumping this, I hope everyone here reads or re-reads this whole thread once again.

Most of us have had extreme financial situations at one point or another. That is why we are here. I mentioned a couple of things in some posts to other people about the worst things have been for me, and then I thought to myself, "Wouldn't it help to know that you can turn things around if I were in that situation again?" I would like to tell you about some of the extreme lows I have had so that you know, IT DOES GET BETTER.

When I was married and Chloe was a baby we lived in a very small town. My ex had an iron fist on the money. He would give me $50 and then take off for a week at a time. I had no access to our bank account. Usually I could make that money stretch to feed us. One week he had done just that and the next day the electric company came to shut off our power. I had no idea the bill hadn't been payed, so I begged and cried and gave them my only $50 to keep it on for the week until my husband got home. That put us in dire straits as the only consumable in the house was milk for the baby and beer for EXH. When night fell, I dressed the baby, put her in the stroller, and went behind the small grocery store in town to dig through the dumpster for food that I could make do with. The first night things went smoothly, then when I went back a couple of days later I got caught. They called the police. The police, of course, felt sorry for me and took us to a nearby city food bank, but that is the absolute most humiliated I have every been.

I have had all my various utilities shut off at one time or another. I have been hounded by bill collectors to the point I changed my phone number. I have rented a home under another name because EXH and I had such bad credit no one would have rented to us. I have lived on $20 a week for groceries for me and my two children. I lived w/ two children in a 500 sq foot house for a year that had mice and was freezing in the winter. I had no lawyer when I got divorced and let my EXH take everything (not much to take but he took it) because I couldn't afford the fight.

Things are better now because I try to make more frugal decisions on all things. I try to save when I can adn keep everything up to date. I have stuck with the same line of work for several years and worked my way up the ladder until we have a decent amount coming in. I have managed to buy us a house. Things are still tight but it is so much better than it once was. I would say from the time I decided to change my life it has taken me 3 1/2 years to get to the point of relative comfort.

I write this because I want you to know you are not alone and that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I wish good judgement for all of you and just a wee bit of luck, and then you too, will turn things around.:wand:

SOOOOOOOOO Glad you got rid of that selfish selfish man. Great job doing it on your own. I will never understand why some people stay with people like that. There really are very nice wonderful men out there; I married one of them 33 years ago. Good Luck to you; sounds like you are doing very well financially Keep up the good work

It soooo absolutely is an inspiration. Thank you for bumping this, I hope everyone here reads or re-reads this whole thread once again.

and adds to it

I haven't posted here much, just kind of been lurking/reading, but I thought I'd share my story.

I got married at 19 to an older man. We fell madly in love and ran off to vegas only knowing each other for a few weeks. I wish I would have known up front that he was an alcoholic. We moved in with his mother into a tiny guest house in a gang-ridden part of LA. We actually lived right next to the projects and in between two rival gangs. We both had low paying jobs that were enough to survive (ie - eat) on but there was no way we could afford to make it on our own in LA. So we decided to move to Oklahoma to move in with my father and try to get a new start.

I worked odd temp jobs, but he could never seem to find one. By the time I got home he'd always be passed out on the couch. He would smoke his cigarettes in the house even though my father asked him repeatedly not too. We never had any money but I always had to scrape up $5.50 some how to get him his vodka. It eventually became too much and my dad kicked us out. We headed for Portland, OR with a trailer full of our stuff and my last $400 paycheck.

We made it to Oregon and got a hotel room for the first night and my ex befriended a homeless guy. They went on a drinking binge together and we ended up at this hotel for a few weeks, eating top ramen and whatever else we could cook on a campstove. I cried every night and begged him to take me back home. Well my ex passed out in the car one night, and the homeless guy was passed out in his room with all of our stuff. I convinced the hotel manager to unlock the door for me, went in and got everything and drove us both to a campground. It was a few weeks of us sleeping in a tent in the rain with our lab before I found a lady on craigslist who was willing to take us in in exchange for helping her with a home business. However she ended up being crazy and controlling and would not even let me take a real even part time job to get some actual cash coming in. Her business was not even making any money and there was no heat in her house and this was in the middle of winter. She had no trash pickup and one of my "jobs" was to drive around and throw all the garbage out in other peoples trash cans.

We got out of there and made friends with a couple of hippies and moved in with them and their 2 kids. I watched the kids while they went to work. Eventually my ex finally did get a good job and the checks started coming. I was thinking that we would finally get our own place. But when payday came he'd head to the bar and blow it all, there was never enough for a deposit. He always spent it on something.

One night he got really drunk and aggressive and got physical with me. We had had a lot of heated arguments before but that was the first time he ever laid a hand on me. I started separating my stuff from his over the next couple of days, telling him I was packing so we could finally get that apartment. Up until that point I would always make excuses for him, it was a disease after all, I needed to stick by him, etc etc... but once the violence started to surface that was it.

One morning I told him I had a job interview and that I needed to drop him off at work and take the car downtown. I dropped him off at work that morning and I felt so guilty that he was in such a good mood and I knew it would be the last time I would ever see him. And it was.

4 years later and I'm much better off, engaged to a wonderful man, and a lot more appreciative of all the good things in my life.

I remember being embarrassed when someone who worked at the daycare gently suggested the name of a cheap childrens clothing store to me because she recognised that my daughter only had about 4 different outfits and most of those were given to us by her grandparents. I remember scraping together $20 out of our budget to try and buy her some more clothes because I felt so humiliated that someone had pointed out that my kid wasn't dressed as well as the others.

I always think that this embarrases 'poor' people more than 'rich' people. My dd does not have many clothes, but that is by choice, not by circumstance. I wear the same 4 outfits to work all the time (mix-n-match), but as long as they are clean, I couldn't care less.

Sorry for hiking the thread!

DH and I have been married for 15 years. 13 years ago we had our first child. I had our bag packed with his coming home sleeper and he came out almost 10 pounds....no way would that sleeper fit. I bought it at a garage sale, size newborn, because thats what he would be....newborn. It was so cute and I think 10 cents. The hospital wanted to take the picture of him before we were discharged, that close up one they take. My DH got the sleeper on the top of him (it zipped in the back) and just kind of tucked it in the back of him for the picture. The rest of him was loose and kicking in the breeze!
DH ran to the store to grab a new sleeper, we were in the city, 2.5 hours from the farm. His paycheck wasn't for a few days, never more broke than right before the next paycheck. He handed that sleeper over and his debit card, no clue weither it would work and if he could afford to clothe his son. The longest few minutes of his life. It worked and he brought it back to the hospital.
For 2.5 hours all I heard about was that sleeper and how aweful he felt and how we need to plan ahead better......I was barely listening......I just gave birth to an almost 10 pound baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Not as dramatic as other stories but definitely never forgotten in this house.

I, too had a 10# + baby, and took him home in a garage sale kimono because it was all that would fit! We were driving a 20 year old station wagon at the time, and I remember people staring at us as we loaded him in the car for the trip home.
The next month (December) there was enough money for either a payment to the hospital OR a tank of heating oil, but not both. We bought the heating oil of course, and I wrote an honest letter to the hospital, explaining our dilemna.
To my complete surprise, they wrote back in less than a week, completely forgiving the debt!
Things are so much better for us now, we are completely debt free, including the house, but the lessons learned over those lean years have served me well. I would not trade those experiences for anyTHING!!

I am glad that this thread got bumped.
It is such an inspiration to hear other stories and to see how far we have all come.


I can't believe that it was almost 2 years ago that I wrote my original post and to see how far I have come.
I did have a set back with my finances but I am working on getting my butt in gear and paying off my debt. I was able to take my girls on our first family vacation (ever) to Disney World in July of 08 and we are headed back there in Jan 2010. I can't wait.
It is amazing at what we can really do to survive.
I didn't lose my job as they decided to keep the 13 of us that was left from the layoffs. I should something by the summer if they are going to decide to close us down for good. I am planning for the worst. At least I am in a much better place now than I was over a year ago!

Again, thanks for sharing your stories and you are all in my thoughts and prayers!

I haven't read all the posts yet, but I'm happy to see that so far, all of you came out of these situations as wiserer, and stronger women!

Truly inspirational! I'll be back to read the rest.

Theresa :hug2:

I, too had a 10# + baby



(Hijack ahead)



Another 10 lb. baby here, she was 10.3 actually, without any kind of drugs.
Man, you don't ever forget those deliveries, lemme tell ya'!:relieved:

Actually, I had a c-section. The funny parts were:
The day before he was born, I measured myself. I am 61 inches tall, and I was 62 inches around:)
My husband and I both have four sisters and no brothers. For the first 14 years of marriage, we had only girl children. The day before Ben was born I was consoling myself with some chicken lo mein, after getting the ultrasound report that 'your baby is too big to even estimate a weight'!! The fortune in my cookie read"You won't be bored for long" Truer words were never spoken.
Last, when Ben was finally delivered (not without some difficulty) the doctor looked over the surgical drape at me and said,"I think I know why you've been so uncomfortable!" Ya' think?

Your child was an egg inside you from the day you were born. In fact, slightly before that. When you were a baby still inside your mother the small egg had already formed.

As women we inherit the strength, not just of our mother's blood, but also of our grandmother's.

By the time we are ready to become mother's we are three women strong!

We are unstoppable!.. And YOU are the living proof!

Back on topic....
My lowest point financially was back in the mid 70's when I had to sell my plasma or blood to make $7 for food to eat.

My last marriage ended in truck reposession, foreclosure, and finally bankruptcy. UGLY UGLY memories. I'm here to remind myself how I got in that mess and to never ever go back there. FV keeps me grounded.

Cat

You're right, it does help to hear that people have overcome such horrible situations. I'm in my worst right now. House is being foreclosed on and my work has slowed down dramatically so renting right now isn't an option. It's the unknown that scares me to death.

Hope everything works out, Do you have relatives. I know we lived at the Y when we first got married, not fun but better than the street.