I just thought I'd post this because I read what a few of your wrote under the topic of all time financial lows. I guess what surprised me is how it still is affecting people in their adult lives.

My story: I'm from a family of four children. Mom was sahm until I was in the 3rd grade. Dad worked hard, but made little money. He was also a gambler, which didn't leave much left over. We had a house that was in such disrepair it was embarrasing. Our washer used to drain with a rubber hose into the bathroom sink. We also had a giant hole in the bathroom floor that everyone always had to watch out so that they didn't fall into the basement. We had a hole in our ceiling and you could see the sky.

I don't feel like this has scarred me, but I do feel that it has made me different. The house we have now amazes me constantly. I feel a little guilty because of it sometimes. We are not talking about a mansion here, either. We're talking about an average colonial in a beautiful town.

Most of the friends I have now really don't have a clue. I tell them I grew up poor when they insist that we must have taken vacations when I was younger. One of the best things about growing up poor is that you don't take things for granted. I think it makes you more grateful for everything. Also, I think I "get" people's hardships more.

Wow, I really truly feel understood for once and feel like I "fit".

You are awesome to start this, just awesome!!!!!!!:hug2:

PS, I wonder if it's not the poor part that stuck with us into adulthood..... but rather the other accompanying issues that often follow poverty etc..

Either way, thanks again for this!

I grew up poor, too. We lived in my rich uncle's old farmhouse,that was in disrepair. It was on 50 acres and had a big barn. I thought we were rich. :)
The first time I had a clue that maybe other people lived differently was at summer camp, when I was 13. (ok, I was a slow learner) I met some rich girls from Atlanta at the Methodist church camp. I couldn't believe all the expensive clothing, perfume, etc. they had with them. It was funny, their parents went to the Piedmont Driving Club on Saturday nights and mine watched, 'Hee Haw', lol. Even though I liked those girls and we got along well, I just didn't feel like I fit in, kwim?
My oldest ds, ended up marrying a rich girl from Atlanta, we get along wonderfully, but our experiences are so different. My dh grew up in a solid middle class family in NYC, but really it's like we grew up in differnet countries, considering how different our upbringings were.

My dh grew up in a solid middle class family, but really it's like we grew up in differnet countries, considering how different our upbringings were.

yep, that' us too. I grew up with very little, while my dh's dad was a banker and they had what they wanted or what they could borrow for. Still makes for an interesting "discussion" now and then. My dad was a farmer, my mom a sahm and there were 9 kids + lots of foster kids. The house we lived in was used to raise pigs in before my folks bought it. ya, it really was that bad inside, till dad remodeled it.

I ididn't realize we would have been considered "poor" till I was a teenager. I never considered us poor, we had all we needed of what was important. I had McDonalds for the first time when I was 17 years old, always wore my brother's hand me downs. We just didn't have the money to ever eat out or buy new clothes. mom or one of us girls always did the cooking. But, I feel I am a richer person for it now, because I know I could get by on very little if I had to. And, our family was and still is very close, I think that having very little had a lot to do with that. When I look back, I think we were really rich in what mattered.

I grew up "dirt" poor, but never really felt poor -- KWIM? We always had food on the table -- generally it was stuff from the garden and meat we'd either raised/butchered , hunted or fished. We always had a roof over our head -- came close to being homeless at least once, but it never happened.

We lived on a farm, so were able to raise rabbits, chickens, pheasants, etc. Sometimes we actually had pigs and once a cow! Mom always planted a HUGE garden and we spent our summers putting up the harvest.

Dad would butcher the rabbits, and tan the hides -- mom would knit us hats/mittens/scarves and use the rabbit fur for trims or linings. It was what we had -- and they used it.

We foraged for food, used and reused items till there was literally NO life left in them. . .

I learned to make do, do without, be self sufficient -- and to be proud while doing it. We were never made to feel inferior because of our lack of money -- I never even realized just how "poor" we were, until I went to college and found out that the rest of the world didn't live like we did.

I didn't know we were poor growing up. We were frugal and lived in a tiny house. My mom clipped coupons and bought generic brand food when she could (those are things I do now). We didn't eat out very often. I had exactly 5 outfits to wear to school (a different outfit each day of school) and one pair of shoes and one pair of sneakers every year. We wore play clothes outside (clothes that were too stained to wear to school or too small, and we wore last year's sneakers outside to play in). Because we had such a small home there were two small bedrooms, a kitchen, living room, sewing room, and bathroom. I wanted my own room when I was a pre-teen so my mom converted her tiny sewing room into my bedroom. We didn't grow up in a rich town and we were middle class where I grew up.

I say I didn't know we were poor, because it wasn't until after college, when I met my fiance that I saw how he grew up. His family is upper middle class and he grew up in what looked like a small mansion to me. He hugged me when he saw the tiny sewing room bedroom I had slept in because it was barely bigger than the walk in closets in the home he grew up in. I had a twin bed, a small tall boy dresser, and a nightstand in my room and that was all that would fit and still allow me to turn around. I had a small closet too, enough for the amount of clothes that I had.

I feel that I am stronger for having lived through lean times, which was just a way of life for us. I think I was fortunate that I didn't realize how little we had. I felt grateful for what I did have and I still carry that feeling with me today. I now live in an apt. that is the same size as the house I grew up in and I have accumulated so many things that I don't have much room for, I think I hoard things because we didn't have a lot growing up. I also feel different around my fiance's family, because they have money and my own family doesn't have as much.

Dixie, my DH and I are in similar circumstances; we knew one another our entire lives but we are different races, religions and socio-economic status growing up. Goes to show that opposites attract...

I grew up in two places, but with the same amount of money. In our central Ohio suburb, we were the poorest family around. My mother worked three jobs and relied on her younger sisters and my gram to help with childcare when they could. When my stepfather came on the scene, it helped but he had CS to pay to his son and legally my sister and I were not his responsibility. From May-October every year I lived in Swain Co. NC, one of the poorest counties in Appalachia, same amount of money coming it but a dollar got stretched until it cried with my great-aunt AND she owned two very modest, VERY modest homes, that houses us all. I never thought we were "poor" as in homeless or living on th streets but I saw that other folks didn't eat commods or get clothes second-hand ALL the time. However, I would have not thought too much about it had I not gone to school in the suburb. *shrug* My sister and I grew up to be pretty good with money, both of us have little to no consumer debt. I went to college , so that put me in student loan debt but otherwise we are both good.

My mother has worked so hard her entire life and she finally is down to 3 days a week, one job and she and my stepfather own a cute house in that same suburb; she's only 46 and will have it paid off before she is 55.

I always remember, and try, to not compare my situation to anyone else's because I never know their story like the don't know mine. I always thought my DH came from money, not so, both his families grew up poor in southeastern Ohio and FIL worked his way up in computers from the early 1970s. Both of our families taught us to work hard and count our blessings.

I didn't know we were different than the other kids til I went to school and had friends with all kinds of toys and they weren't around to play with in the summer much because they were on vacation. What's a vacation?
There were 5 of us kids, Mom stayed home & Dad was either at work 2-3 jobs or sleeping. He died at 42 of a heart attack, wish he didn't work so hard and took better care of himself. Things really fell apart after that and my Mom became an alchoholic because she didn't know how to cope. That one thing ruined many lives and set in motion years of abuse & heartache. My Sis & I broke the cycle by making ourselves nice homes, filled with love and are raising/have raised strong happy kids.
One time in particular will always be with me and in time I stopped feeling bad (embarassed) and put the shame where it belonged, on the teacher in question & my mother to a certain extent. I had to take home ec and we were going to have to sew something. Everyone had a pattern & material (pretty dresses etc.)except me. I begged my mother to at least write a note so I didn't have to talk to the teacher but she wouldn't. I had to do it in front of the class because my teacher said out loud, "what do you mean you can't afford material & a pattern, who can't afford that" I was in 7th grade and the girls all started laughing at me. The teacher just said in a huff that I'll just have to make her grandsons pajamas & I better do a nice job on them. How dare she humiliate me like that? I never let anyone do it again.
On a good note, before everything changed forever, we had a pretty happy childhood and knew how to have fun with just about anything, even a pile of dirt & a stick. So what if Paula had all the fancy barbie furniture, I had a kleenex box, kleenex pillow & kleenex sheet and had a blast. She didn't know how to just make do & enjoy. It's a trait that has carried me through life thus far & is one of the best things that makes me, well, me.:)

I grew up upper middle class until my parents seperated at 11. Then we went to where is our next meal coming from as soon as we left. My mom made just enough over not to qualify for any assistance but not enough to make the bills. I learned how to manipulate people into inviting me to dinner. Not something I'm proud of. At the time it felt normal but looking back it's pretty embarrassing. I turned into a latch key kid. Our apartment had mice. It wasn't fun. One year we couldn't do Christmas. My sister and brother are older than me. They grew up with the nice clothes and stuff. My sister was in college and my brother had just graduated when the parents divorced. When I hear them complain of problems I want to roll my eyes. They have no clue what a real problem is. We are very different from eachother.

I forgot to put how it effects me today. I'm not afraid to shop at thrift stores. I have a weird food obsession. If I start to see spaces in my pantry I panic. Pantry challenges are hard for me because I can't stand to see empty spaces. While my brother and sister can take 60 bucks and buy a shirt I know how to buy several outfits and shoes. I don't have patience for alot of bs. My mom is my best friend.

I never felt poor when I was growing up, and sometimes I wonder, were we? But then I look around and take notice of those around me and know that we lived differently. We always had a home. It was a little pink house, but I loved that house. We had enough to eat, but it was basic food and my mom would buy generic foods, etc. We ate at a Mac Donalds once every few years. I wore hand me down clothes that my aunt made for her daughters. If we went on a vacation, we would camp in a tent somewhere. I didn't ride in a plane until I was 17 years old. We didn't throw anything away, you never knew when you might need it. (My mom grew up during the depression, her family farmed, she learned that lesson well.) Anyway, I never felt poor. I guess that all my needs were met, and I think that living that way taught me to appreciate the little things in life that are important.

I knew we were poor.
my dad died when i was 5. my mom had a nervous breakdown and we ended up living with my grandparents, who were poor because of disability. but my grandpa played bluegrass music and supplemented the income with going to festivals and such.
for the most part, i grew up in a 2 bedroom home, my grandparents in one room, my mom, my brother and me in the other. we had a kitchen and a living room/dinning room combo. and that was it!
my mom became disabled also. so the only money we had coming in each month was my grandfathers disability, my mom's disability/widow's pension, my brother's and my survivor's benefits. all on the same day.
we were considered too rich for food stamps. which i thought stunk.
we did qualify for reduced lunches at school.
my granny and my mom always made most of our clothes. we never had toys like most kids. i read. my brother played outside.
because of the disabilities in the house, a lot of the chores were left for me and my brother and granny to do. so we learned how to cook, clean, take care of the house and the yard. when most kids were playing ball and such, we were working.
we lived in a rented house, because we could not afford to buy one.
the reason i knew i was poor, is we lived in a poor community and i wore their hand me downs a lot. it was not fun being at school and a kid coming to you and saying, you know, my mom gave those things to your mom last week. in front of everyone.
so yeah, that hurt a lot. but you know what, i would not have it any other way. i am really close with my family. my brother, even though he still lives in florida, im's me everyday just to tell me he loves me.
when we are able to get together, we still like to play board games, or embarrass the hell out of our kids with some of the things that we did when growing up. like, one year, we wanted to go trick or treating, but had no money for costumes. so i took one of my mom's mumu dresses, a wig that she had, and put them on my brother, along with make up. he went as my mom. i took one of my grandpa's leisure suits, one of his hats, and borrowed a friends guitar, and went as him. we won first prize at the town's halloween party.
i am not sure if any of you know what a fishing village is, but we lived in one. everyone made a living off of fishing. that or frog gigging, or gator hunting. so we learned how to survive doing those things.
one thing i will always take from growing up, is, no matter what you have, use it. if you can't buy it, try to make it. if you can, it's better to barter for things than to have to buy it. make do with what you have, and no matter what, buy with cash.

I'm not afraid to shop at thrift stores.

I agree to the above 100% and I totally grew up poor as well, my mom was a single mom of 2 until my brother went to go live with his father, we ate tons of spaghetti since it was cheap and my mother worked hard for us but she didnt make much money. I dont think this has affected me at all because while we dont have alot of money it's the point that I know where I want it to go and what needs to be done with it and I dont mean spending it on a $50 shirt.

Cricket1, I could have written your post, except the big gaping holes and leaks in our houses were in diffrent places.

I didn't realize just how poor we were until I was a teen. Mom made it seem as though we had more, she was a marvel of dollar stretching and fugality. But when they divorced when I was 12, that changed. Dad never paid child support and we had one dilapidated house and one dilapidated trailer to live in, depending on what parent had us at the time.

My situation now is much different, and yes, I do feel the guilt at times. Especially since some of my family members' situation is not much better than when we were growing up. I left home a 18, put myself through nurses' training, married someone who put himself through college, and we have done--well--better. It took a lot of having absolutely nothing for along time, but we did it. So I vacillate between feeling guilty about some of the things my siblings and mom and dad believe about me ('she just wouldn't understand, she has everything') and what I know is true, that I worked, sacrificed, and did without to get here, and I DO understand majorly, and would like for them to just feel the same family love for me as I do for them. It isn't about THINGS or money, but you can ever convince anyone of that. DH and I purposely live below our 'means' because we just don't CARE about it--we 'get' it.

cab, i know what you mean.
we are by no means rich, but we have what we want when we want.
but, we live frugally! we keep our kids in clothes, they may be bought at the thrift store, the only things i don't buy there are shoes, and under things.
we shop at discount stores, for EVERYTHING!
my sister, now owns a 30 acre farm. we own our house, all of my brother's except for one own their homes. so we made good of what we were taught growing up. keep as much as you have, make do, and save for a rainy day. cause you may not always have what you have now.

one thing though, my two oldest kids had this thing where they didn't want clothes from the thrift store. so i told them to go and get jobs and buy what you want, but if you want me to get it, this is where it's coming from.

my son has not learned this lesson. he still likes to spend money like it grows on trees. but my daughter is another story. she waits until the thrift stores have those sales that you can pay one price for a bag, and stuff it as full as you can. we go to those twice a year.
the last time i went to one, they told me not to come back. i got over 300 dollars worth of clothes in two bags. only cost me 20 bucks.
she went to her store, plato's closet, and got over 500 dollars worth of clothes for 20. so they hate to see us coming! lol it's all in the way that you fold them! lol
my two youngest think that getting an outfit brand new is a treat! they live for going to the thrift stores, yard sales, and such!
i think that i am going to implement a thing in our family. we have lots of kids about the same age, size, sex. so i want all of us mom's to get together and have a clothes swap! that way, the kids will get new things (to them) and it won't cost us anything. plus we will get to spend time together and the kids will also have quality time together.

Wow! I have so much company! I think the difference between knowing you were poor or not depends on your surrounding town (is everyone else in the same boat or are you in a dinghy while they are on a yacht) AND how your parents approach it. My dad grew up in a family of 12 and they didn't have much money at all. My mom grew up with a little more. I could see that she had a lot of shame with how we were living. I remember her crying when we received food stamps. I used to walk a lot with my mother (again, I was the youngest of four and my older sisters were in school) and we would walk and walk for miles. I think she just wanted to be as far from the house as she could possibly get.

I belong in this kith too. I wrote down some of my memories in another thread, so I won't repeat myself here. Suffice it to say that my mother was both poor and irresponsible.

On the upside - I was determined to go to college and completed it. Have promised myself that my kids would never go without the things they need, and they never have.

I had a few years where I had a tendancy to hoard. I also felt much better when I had a very full pantry. I'm mostly past that now and am working on simplifying my life. I still tend to freak out about money, but I'm working through that. Much better now than I used to be.

Moor--- I know what you mean. My less-income sibs will shop at the Mall store for clothing for both they and their kids and then talk about how little they have. They think I'm rich, so when they say 'nice shirt, where'd ya get that?'--they are shocked to hear me say Walmart or something. I haven't been to the mall in years. My sons are less frugal than me (grown) but they do look for bargains. If they wanted something from the Mall stores when they were younger though, I also told them (they had jobs)that that kind of stuff was on them.

Cricket---I also was one of the poor kids in a rich suburb (I lived just outside in the township). They were all VERY rich, and I was so far the opposite it was too hard to hide. My mom also had 'more'. Same story. She tried to hide it from us, but we could tell her parents had more and that she came from more money. I can remember times she was ashamed that she couldn't dress us better, or that the house was in shambles.

I don't know if we were poor....but we did without a lot. By did without, I mean...junk. We had a nice home so everyone thought we were rich. My dad built that home by himself while working full time, plus any extra work he could find. (when he was 28!) My mom never worked...she took care of everything else. My dad could make something out of nothing...my mom could stretch a dollar like no one else! Anything we had that looked shabby, my mom ironed and mended it till it looked fresh. We had little, but mom kept everything tidy. ("water is free and soap is cheap" )We ate pheasant probably 3 nights a week...duck, goose, fish. Hamburger was a treat. I never had pop or pizza till I was in Jr. High. I learned to sew at 10, and after that made most of my clothes. We never had *vacations*...but we did camp, with borrowed equipment. My brother was born with severe birth defects and no one would help them, except the Shriners. For many, many years, my parents had an account with the shoe store for his corrective shoes...usually because he would outgrow them before they were paid for. None of us went to college...but we are all successful, responsible, hard working, *world educated* people. None of us kids carry cc or luxery debt, just mortgages.
My dad retired this year at 74...the same job since he was 19. My parents are the most amazing people I know. They married at 16 and 19 because my mom was pregnant with my sister...everyone said it wouldn't last. My dad's family pretty much disowned him. They live in the same house my dad built...they have a good nest egg and comfortable life. They've been married 54 years. Mom always says we were poor...but I guess I never noticed. My parents always took in anyone who needed a place to stay, and fed anyone who was hungry...I have no idea how they did it, but they did. Mom's motto was *add another potato to the pot*. We ate a LOT of potatos (my dad got them free from farmers he worked for).

WHen I was little I had a friend who didn't live in the best house, wore hand me downs, etc

I thought her family was the greatest because they always talked, did stuff together, and had fun no matter what. That family closeness was much better than anything money could have bought.

We grew up really poor but we didnt know it. Our parents did their best to provide a loving home for us. It wasnt till I was older that I found out we were on welfare, used food stamps, and my mom constantly had to call the pastor to ask him for help so that she could keep the utilities on for us. I dont remember any of that. I remember cuddling in bed in the mornings, climbing trees, and homemade hot chocolate and chicken and dumplings when we came home from school on cold days.

I come from a familt of 9. 5 girls and 2 boys. I remember moving all the time till I hit 4 grade. I'm #3 out of seven. My mother made almost all our clothes and she baked bread and did all the cooking from scratch. I can remember when my dad mde 1.65 an hour and gas was 19 cents a gal. We were poor but I can honestly say the 3 oldest are better at making things last and making do with what you have. The younger 4 my parents had more money and even at the age of 44 my younger brother xpects everone to pay his way. He wanted to move i with me a few weeks ago I told him NO. He had a son who is 10 and likes to break everything you, Besides it would not be fair to have my children surrport them. They do it for me out of love.
Fern

I'm belong in here also. We were poor too. Not as poor as some of you, but still poor.

I grew up poor, I never knew it though.
Here is my story:
Parent divorce when I am 3 or 4, my mother leaves (don't see her again until I am 10 then another 8 years go by before I see her again).
My father who can't take care of 2 little girls and work and all drops me and my sister off at his parents house.
My father died when I was 10. Mother tried to gain custody lost and then I didn't see her until I was an adult.
My grandparents lived and supported my sister and I just on social security and my grandfathers pension.
Looking back I know we were poor but I didn't know it then, we had clothes, food, a place to live and 2 adults who loved and took care of us, that was all we needed.

When I hit high school I did see a difference we didn't have cable tv, we didn't have video games, no desinger clothes but we had each other.

Eileen

I grew up dirt poor as one of 6 kids to a sahm and a police officer who never made more than 20,000 or so in a very rural place.

she went to her store, plato's closet, and got over 500 dollars worth of clothes for 20. so they hate to see us coming! lol it's all in the way that you fold them! lol

i didnt know that plato's closet had these kinds of sales?! - :applause: ive never visited one of their stores but this makes me curious because a sale like that would be awesome. i always just figured that they were still more expensive than your average thrift store so i never bothered but a sale like this... now that'll bring me in.

im always torn between whether we were "poor" or not.

parents divorced when i was 4 or 6 (not sure) - basically they got married. my dad didnt speak any english and my mom did. he trusted her to handle all the finances. she said that she opened a savings acct and he would hand over his check on a weekly basis. the 4 or 6 years went by and they had bought a house and had two vehicles, my dad comes to find out that they are all way behind on the payments and that what should be 26k in savings is actually $0. my mother is addicted to prescription drugs and has racked up tens of thousands of dollars in cc debt.

they divorce. younger brother and i stay with our mom in the house. my dad continues to work, learn english, moves in with his brother. saves, buys a vehicle in cash, saves for a sizable down payment on a house nearby. after four years, has the house paid off. my dad didnt get past sixth grade but he knows how to work hard and how to save like no one's business.

mean while... my mom continues to rack up cc debt, misses mortgage payments, has her car repo-ed, getting utilities shut off is a VERY normal thing for us. brother and i learn to fend for ourselves when it comes to dinner. mother suddenly feels single and goes out of town all the time and clubs and gets drunk and just.. craziness.

to keep up appearances she transfers us to private school but we were always behind on tuition. theyd call our name over the loudspeaker to come to the financial asst office and everyone knew that that meant you hadnt paid tuition. she couldnt manage her money. she likes to pay for everyone else and keep up appearances and so.. her whole check would be gone before the weekend was over and we'd be left for two weeks with nothing in the fridge, only what we got at school for lunch. - we never told our dad how bad it was with her. i didnt want him to feel bad. my mother is still this way. a few months ago i found out that she was sleeping in her car because she had no other place to go. there is more to the story but its too much to type out on here. some women are natural mothers, have motherly instincts and the mother-child bond/love. my mom wasnt one of those women.

end result - i learned alot from both parents. what not to do from my mom and what TO DO from my dad. if anything, any hardships endured during my childhood with her have made me a humble and grateful person and for that i am thankful.

Looking back now on my life we were poor but so was everyone else. My dad worked a crumy job and mom was a sahm. We had what we needed. My dad died when I was 10 and my mom then wen to work. She worked 2 jobs and ultimately killed herself trying to make a better life for me and my sisters. We always had what we needed and the things that we wanted came to us but not right then and there. We would have adventures (this is what my mom called it) when we went to the thrift stores or had to go stand in the WIC line. She made it fun for us. She made all of our gifts as she was very crafty.
I never really knew we grew up poor until I was older and saw how some other people lived. I had my fair share of living high on the hog so to speak but of course if I knew then what I know now.
So now I live my frugal lifestyle and I am proud of it. I am proud that I can give my kids what they need and what they want at a fraction of the cost. My ex grew up poor and in the projects and he refuses to step foot into a thrift store. It saddens me but you know what? He is in a huge amount of consumer debt and asks me for something to eat.

I too am not afraid to shop at thrift stores or even ask for things. By asking for different things that I needed has opened a door of wonderful opportunities. Don't be afraid to ask.

one of the things that i have gotten out of all of these post's, is that most of us, know our situation and are not ashamed of where we came from, and where we are now. we have learned how to go forward, and try not to make the same mistakes as those before us.
so, we should all be proud that we have accomplished what we have.

and for most of us, we know how to ask for help, which is something some of our parents didn't or wouldn't do.

my kids today, think that we are poor. but we are not, we just choosing not to give into the whole, gotta be new, gotta be better, gotta be big theory of most people nowadays.

i didnt know that plato's closet had these kinds of sales?! - :applause: ive never visited one of their stores but this makes me curious because a sale like that would be awesome. i always just figured that they were still more expensive than your average thrift store so i never bothered but a sale like this... now that'll bring me in.


they only do them at certain times of the year. back to school is a big one. they used to give you big bags, but after my trip in there, they only give us a small grocery plastic bag. i can still fit over 100 dollars of stuff in there. so they really hate to see me come in there. lol

Growing up we always did pretty well. That is, until my Dad got hurt at work. He was an Ironworker and he smashed his knee at work one day and was out of work almost two years having his knee rebuilt. We did just okay with his disability pay but it was a huge setback. He started a small business while he was unable to do his Ironworker job, so that was something. The real hit though, was that he went back to work and was back at work for a short time before being diagnosed with terminal cancer. Those three years where he was sick and was in the hospital all the time were really rough. I know my mom mentioned at one point having to go on food stamps. Not sure if we did or not but things were definitely not what we were used to.

After Dad died, Mom remarried. Stepfather was a total jerk. He only contributed to the household what my mother did. But she wasn't 'allowed' to work either, he wanted a wife at home. So he was making six figures and she was collecting survivors benefits for my brothers and I and that was all he was matching for household funds. Technically we weren't poor but it really messed with my head to hear that no, there wasn't money for sneakers even though mine had holes, but then he would turn around and come home with a new ATV or snowmobile. That's also why I never got to go to college- he wouldn't help but his income counted against me. Again we weren't really poor but I think because of that it's really messed with my head and with the way I act towards money.



I do think it's funny though how people perceive poverty. My MIL swears that she grew up poor and yet they had grocery delivery service, a house, and all sorts of niceties. To them, poor was not having every single thing you wanted.

To me, my Mom grew up truly poor. My aunt and uncles will reminisce about the year Grandma cooked a Thanksgiving dinner on a hot plate that was run from and extension cord coming from the neighbor's garage since they didn't have utilities at that point. They moved a lot and frequently their home was not big enough for their family. My grandmother would do things like come downstairs early in the morning and hang heavy wool blankets in the doorways and turn the stove on so that at least the kitchen would be warm for all the kids when they woke up, because they didn't have heat otherwise and winter in New England is nasty. The stories that they can tell and the things that they went through, to me, that is poor. The funny thing is, they are the most close knit family I've ever encountered. They are spread out across the globe now but if someone needs something or something happens, it is amazing how they come together. I think that's more important than anything that can be bought in a store :grouphug2

LOL. We just had a spot on our ceiling repaired from a leak that happened before we owned this house. My kids spent more time wondering and looking at the hole in the ceiling. I didn't tell them that I grew up with one AND we could see outside!

My dad went back to college on the GI bill. We lived on just the extra from that to start with. After that, we went on welfare and got commodity groceries and, later, food stamps. We also had a HUGE garden and my dad hunted and fished for food, NOT for fun.

Both of my parents eventually got their college diplomas ans my dad finally received a 100% disability from the Marines. They now own their second home (paid cash for the both of the homes they have owned). My parents are still very frugal with money, but buy whatever they want.

I remember having to work a lot around the house on top of my homework and my part time job. I also remember no phone, no TV, no pop, chips or other junk foods. We got free lunch at school as well.

I can honestly say it has made me a better person. I appreciate what we have and how hard we worked to get it. I am cautious about spending more than five dollars on anything!

DH grew up in the wealthiest town in Oregon. We occasionally clash about money, but generally, he listens to me since he knows I cna make it stretch further than he can.

LOL. We just had a spot on our ceiling repaired from a leak that happened before we owned this house. My kids spent more time wondering and looking at the hole in the ceiling. I didn't tell them that I grew up with one AND we could see outside!

IT never ceases to amaze me with the things that kids are amused by. Funnier still are the things that we find to be a problem that they are simply fascinated by.

We grew up poor and I did not have a clue that we were poor. I was sooo happy!! My mother was a stay at home mom and there were five children. My Dad worked a fulltime and parttime job. We always rented a house and moved about once every three years. At least every other month the electric company threatened to turn off our power. My Dad would pay it same day to avoid this. We did not eat out. We were involved in few afterschool activities. I was in girl scouts. We always had plenty to eat. We made our own fun (going for walks, playing in the back yard, etc.). My mother sewed all of our clothes and I LOVED THEM!! We also shopped at thrift stores for clothes and household items. We only had one car which my Dad drove to work but we kids and Mom still went everywhere while Dad was at work. My mother would pack all us kids on the bus and off we went. WE THOUGHT IT WAS AN ADVENTURE!!! :boat: We went to several amusements on thier free days (museums etc). We also went to the library at least weekly. She also contacted the churches and found out which one had a free bus which would come and pick us up for church and that is the one we attended. You know in reflecting on my childhood I have to amend my first sentence to say I grew up rich in love and experiences and limited in finances. I would rather have grown up that way then the opposite. :ice:

I meant to add but could not edit that we qualified for free lunches which was wonderful. My parents could not afford to provide large Christmas's for us however my grandparents more than made up for that. I can not remember a Christmas in which I recieved less than 5 presents. WE WERE BLESSED!! My Dad's job provided health insurance with no co-pays which was good. I have worked since I was 16 and saved all of my money. I also made my own prom/homecoming dresses. My parents now own their own home free and clear of debt. They are happy. I think growing up taught me many of the tools of being frugal of which I am very grateful. :wave:

I had no idea we were poor when I was growing up. It wasn't til 5th grade when the kids started making fun of my clothes. (most of my clothes were in hot pink, bright orange and lime green) that I realized that my clothes were different than everyone elses. I thought that everyone shopped at the salvation army.(which I thought was a regular store) Finally in 6th grade , my parents took me to sears to buy school clothes, I thought "wow we are rich". I got to get 3 pairs of jeans , a windbreaker jacket and 3 new tops. I will never forget that memory.

I wouldn't say we were poor, but it was lean at times. My dad racked up alot of debt before I was born and became disabled. While I was growing up my mom worked nights to kkep us going, I was #6, but we did pay off our house. We didn't have the lifestyle of the other families in our neighborhood, mostly SAHMs, professional husbands, big beautiful houses, beach vacations, lots of toys, expensive clothing, etc. But in many ways we had a richer family life. home cooked meals, homemade B-day cakes, camping trips, we had all our needs met, but my mom did go without alot. We cut our own hair, wore a combination of used clothing and a few new things.
It depends on who I'm with and comparing to whether I would saw we had it pretty good, or we were scraping. My older siblings had it worse because when they were growing up my Dad was working and spending and my mom had no car, no income, and a tiny household stipend my Dad gave her (which was hardly enough for five children and a mom). After he became disabled and mom went to work, she also learned how to manage the $$. We lived much better with her taking care of things, and she managed to get all the debts paid, including the house, and get savings built up as well. Now that she is on her own she's finally able to do things like go see a movie, eat lunch out, buy new shoes and clothing, and she buys beautiful outfits for my neice because she didn't get to do for her own 4 girls. The other mom's in our neighborhood had social lives and hair appt.s and such.

I grew up poor because my Daddy had a drinking problem. We moved from Maryland when I was 3 months old to a little summer cottage in Nj owned by my Aunt. One of the sweetest, most giving women I ever knew. We stayed there for free. My Daddy was the baby of his family and this Aunt was his older sister. I have and older brother and a younger sister. My Mom was a sahm. She was a city girl transplanted into the country. She loved my Daddy even with all his faults. She was the best cook and made almost everything from scratch. She canned all summer so that we could enjoy the fruits of her labor. We moved to my Dad's old homestead after his step-mother died. My parents bought out the other kids share. They had to borrow the money from someone in town. The house was very cool but Daddy never had enough money to repair it. We had bare floors, holes in the walls and ceiling and lots of leaks. Daddy did grow a wonderful garden every year. He shared all of his produce with the neighbors. I never felt poor but there did come a time when I wished we had a nicer house. My parent let us know that we were loved and that they loved each other. My Mom would use any thing anybody gave us. My Aunt was always giving us her old furniture and curtains. My kids still have a couple of the pieces she gave us. When we visited her she always sent us home with food from her freezer. She had an account at a department store where we went to buy my corrective shoes, and they were put on it. My Mom could sew too and she made us lots of stuff. She even made my wedding dress! I never went hungry. My folks didn't take very good care of themselves. My Daddy died at age 57 and my Mom at 63. I learned so much from them. We raised are 5 kids without very much. I'm asahm and my hubby has a factory job. They have always had a roof over theur heads and food in their bellies. We even sent them to Christian school. We took them out to eat and on vacations. They had hand-me-downs and new things. We gave them a clothing allowance during their pre-teen years and the would shop sales and thriftstores. None of my kids have alot of now or do they want alot. They want to do the best they can with what they have and they do! We had plenty of love and family time together. They still remain very close even though they are grown. Hubby and I now live in a single wide trailer on our own lot of land. I feel like a queen everyday that the Lords allows me to rise. I'm loved, warm and very happy!

I knew we were poor, probably in grade school some time....

My mom worked 40 plus hours a week as a bartender, and my dad for a long time had his own contracting business... Those were the "Good" times, then the housing recession hit in the late 70's early 80's and dad had no business... We moved into an old 100 year old house, and it really did show its age.. The roof was caving in in part of my room-so we just didn't "use" that part of it.. The toilet was about to cave into the dank nasty basement below, and windows were missing in some places covered by thick plastic you could hardly see out of.. We played all the time around the property, hang laundry out to dry, was on food assistance, learned to hate cornmeal "mash".. But we always had a Christmas tree with gifts, hm birthday cakes with at least one present, and had some new clothes each year for school..

My mom had to go to Minnesota to see her dad one year, and my dad had to "take care of us"- there were four of us... He took us to a Bobs Burger place for the first time, and let us eat what we wanted.. (He had been working in California for someone and made some "better" money.) He asked what we wanted for lunch the next day and we said mac and cheese.. He bought the "DELUXE KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE"... Our eyes got huge.. Mom NEVER would by that kind....It was the yummiest thing ever... This was a huge splurge for my parents.

At one point between my jr. and sr. year we actually had no electricity... My dad had accidently cut a tree onto the power line to the house. It was going to cost way too much to repair. And for at least a couple of years we had no running water.. That was embarrassing... Mom would go to the laundry mat twice a month and do all the laundry in the house. In between we would go to the creek and hand wash our jeans with bar soap at any time of the year. Needless to say I NEVER had any one spend the night at MY house...

Eventually we moved into nicer houses, with running water and electricity, but we still had no money. I remember only a couple of times going to the coast for day trips as a vacation. No phone, no neat new video games or the latest of anything.

You see my dad drank all the money my mom would ever make. She would hide money all around the house so that he would not find it. Yet through all of this my mom went back to school and got her nursing degree. That was one of her proudest moments in life.. Then about 8-9 years after that she bought her very first house. Saddly she only lived in it for about 2 years before she died from cancer...

We may have been poor, but I don't think I would have been the person I am today if I had grown up any other way.. I do own my house, and a car, I try to make sure my kids have some nice things, and I have even been one to buy "those shoes", or "that movie" for my kids.. I miss my parents, but I am glad they are who I got in life...

*joins the kith*
:D

I belong to this kith also. We were poor but gratefully
until the 70's when everything fell apart with the
economy we didn't know it.

My father having a drinking problem didn't help either.
But my mother ever resourceful always made ends meet
somehow. Even with his drinking problem and losing his
job because of the economy at that time my father still
did whatever he could to feed us. Anything he could do
to bring in ten dollars or whatever he did.

There was a man who worked at the chicken factory that
would sell my father bags of chicken. Sometimes we ate
chicken day after day but we never went hungry.

I think back on those days now and I am grateful for
learning from both my parents how to make ends meet
and making use of what you have and being grateful
for it.

I read some of the other posters posts and I realize,
well maybe we weren't as poor as we thought. It
just reminds you to put yourself in the other persons
shoes.

I'm enjoying this forum very much already. :grouphug2