Anyone here with kids who are grown, or almost grown?

I'm feeling really blue lately. I have a terrific son, 19 years old, who has always been very mature and sensible, and an absolute delight to spend time with. Well... he's fallen in love, and slowly moved into his girlfriend's parents house. They have more space than we do here. He visits, but it's not the same with him gone at night. Me & him were late night people, while my husband is always asleep by 10:00. The house is so quiet at night now that I get teary-eyed without his company. :shake:

I have a daughter who is 17. She has always been a social butterfly, and has a friend right down the street with a big family. She loves the busy, chaotic atmosphere of this family and is always there (along with most of the other neighborhood kids... it's the 'local hangout').

I'm feeling so unneeded anymore. :jug: How did you guys get through this?

My oldest will be 20 in about 3 months. I am not dealing with it very well at all. I can handle being the mother of a teen, but a 20 year old is a woman, not a child.

Luckily, I have a 17 year old, a 9 year old and an 8 year old to make me feel somewhat young.

My youngest dson just turned 20 a month ago. My older dsons are 22, 27 and 29. It;s hard seeing your kids grow up and leave home. My two youngest still live at home, but the two oldest both moved out at 21 and 22. I was depressed when they both left home. It took me several months to get over it. I dread the day when my two youngest kids move out on their own. There's really nothin' wrong with living home 'til your 40, is there? ;)

Yeah it's not easy....:hugz: You just have to get reacquainted with yourself, learn to appreciate your own company, likes and dislikes. Do some soul searching and see what it is you want to do with the rest of 'your' life. You'll get through it, we all do, eventually ;)

My girls are grown and now I'm raising my grandkids. I've never been able to enjoy the benefits of an empty nest and I am envious of those who made it to that stage.

We've had my grandson since he was 6 months old and my granddaughter from the day she was born. They are now 7 and 5. I was hoping that by the time their mom (my youngest) reached 25 she would realize what she was missing and would take the steps necessary to get them back, but apparently, she truly isn't interested.

My middle daughter recently moved back home after she and her boyfriend split the sheets. She's just graduated from college and is looking for a full time position.

Before I could get the last two out the door, my mom had a stroke and lived with us until she died. At one point I was taking care of 4 generations at one time.

Enjoy these quiet years, there will be changes in the future and your house won't be empty forever. Grandkids can make a great deal of noise (and clutter).

My one and only is soon to be 19 and going to college in another state. Yup, it's tough. And quiet. And it gets to you.

Even tried the walking around the house naked bit, felt like a complete idiot and put my clothes back on. Not even getting to do that cheered me up.

Seeing her empty room is torture so I have to keep the door closed.

Hang in there....

My friend really suffered when her baby went away to college. For about two weeks. Now, she loves having the house so quiet and tidy, and enjoys her kids when they are home for school vacations.

I'm actually looking forward to the day when I can have my house to myself for extended periods of time.

My sons left for college at 18--zip, boom, GONE. They are now 21 and 24, and the older one is in grad school 2000 miles away from us, and younger one is still in college, and lives with some other kids off campus.

I have moments of sorrow and loss, but mostly I try to enjoy the good things--the quiet and the easy flow of the days for dh and me. After being the 'hng out' place for all of their friends (we would more often than not have 6-10 other boys in here, and some girls---in the pool, staying the night camped all over my family room floor--well, not the girls, lol) and running to all of those sports and activities and school events--I find a much easier cleaner home now. Does that mean I don't like it when they are here visiting (like now for the holidays)?? Not on your life!! I get my arms around them every time they cross the room. ( while they roll their eyes, but smile and smirk).

My sister asked me once (her girls live around here and have grandbabies that she sees a lot) "How can you STAND to have your kids so far away?" I said --sometimes I CAN'T. But---I want them to have what THEY want (education, friends, women) more than I want me to have what I want. I just HAVE to think that way, because I know this is the way it's supposed to be in life--the baby birds fly the coop.

Sometimes I have my own little pity party--a hot bath and a glass of wine and allow myself to feel the sadness of a mother who's lost the most wonderful things in her life. But at least I have them,and they can come home once in awhile. And I IM them a lot! LOL.

Yeah it's not easy....:hugz: You just have to get reacquainted with yourself, learn to appreciate your own company, likes and dislikes. Do some soul searching and see what it is you want to do with the rest of 'your' life. You'll get through it, we all do, eventually ;)

:yeah: It is hard but gets better, just keep reminding yourself that this means you have done a good job, he's out on his own (kinda).They are supposed to go off & start their own lives. Doesn't mean you're not important anymore it's just that your role has changed a bit. Now it's time for you too to take a step in a new direction, try something new or go back to some things you loved but put by the wayside. Keep on smiling and know that Moms of older kids everywhere have been where you are and end up lovin the heck out of all this independance & running around naked, etc. lmao.
Big Hugs.

Mine are 19 in college and 16 so I still have him for a couple more yrs. The 19 yr old is a freshman in college and we had a rough couple of months this summer when he was getting ready to go off to college. Now hes home on Christmas break, has a girlfriend, his first. We met her and I like her. I see the man he is becoming and that makes me happy. I do wonder where my little guy is with his power ranger pants.
Yds is 16 so we still have him but I see the time with him growing short quickly. That makes me sad

I have only had one leave so far, the 19 year old. It sure was torture for me because we were close. I cried for 2 days and now after almost a year (JAN. 21st), I feel so relaxed and less stressed about the whole situation. I am happy he chose to leave and find his own life, eventhough it was the Marine way of life. At least I know he is taken care of.

I still have 2 at home in the teenage years. I am already starting to get depressed because DS#2 turns 17 on the 18th and I know he will be leaving in another year too.

My sons left for college at 18--zip, boom, GONE. They are now 21 and 24, and the older one is in grad school 2000 miles away from us, and younger one is still in college, and lives with some other kids off campus.

I have moments of sorrow and loss, but mostly I try to enjoy the good things--the quiet and the easy flow of the days for dh and me. After being the 'hng out' place for all of their friends (we would more often than not have 6-10 other boys in here, and some girls---in the pool, staying the night camped all over my family room floor--well, not the girls, lol) and running to all of those sports and activities and school events--I find a much easier cleaner home now. Does that mean I don't like it when they are here visiting (like now for the holidays)?? Not on your life!! I get my arms around them every time they cross the room. ( while they roll their eyes, but smile and smirk).

My sister asked me once (her girls live around here and have grandbabies that she sees a lot) "How can you STAND to have your kids so far away?" I said --sometimes I CAN'T. But---I want them to have what THEY want (education, friends, women) more than I want me to have what I want. I just HAVE to think that way, because I know this is the way it's supposed to be in life--the baby birds fly the coop.

Sometimes I have my own little pity party--a hot bath and a glass of wine and allow myself to feel the sadness of a mother who's lost the most wonderful things in her life. But at least I have them,and they can come home once in awhile. And I IM them a lot! LOL.

What a wonderful way to put it.
I'm already having anxiety...and my oldest has at least 3 more years at home.

You guys have no idea how much these posts mean to me. They really helped me feel better. I'm normal! Well, as normal as everyone else on this board :cracked:

Thank you all so much.

It gets easier with time. My son will be 33 this year and my eldest daughter will be 30. My youngest is 25 and sort of lives at home but is not usually here. So most of the time it is just DH and I. It was horrible for me when they went off to college, got thier own apartments, got hitched, bought their first homes. But along with all that comes.....drum roll please...Grandchildren! YES !!!!! AND to make it even better, your house stays clean, you control the radio and the TV, the phone actually rings for YOU, you have toilet paper in the house most days and you can read the paper in peace....There are advantages! LOL

Thanks, YankeeMom. My oldest left for Seattle early this AM, so I have been having one of those :drama: mornings. But quietly --to myself (wink). :morning: I got up at 4 am to give him a last hug and wish him a good flight. Being an aerospace engineer, I always knew he wouldn't live anywhere near Ohio. (oh, yeah, we have a lot of rocket stuff going on here-abouts!! LOL)

I often wish that I could stll scoop my boys up in my arms like I did when they were 3-4 years old and smell their damp hair and squeeze them close. Now they pick ME up. LOL! But I'm glad they have lives of their own and are pursuing careers that they've dreamed about.

YankeeMom, all I have to do is think of a kid my oldest hung around with in HS, who died in a car accident at 17, and we all felt like we'd lost him, we were so used to his presence, but his poor mom! HOw it must be for her each year on his birthday and the day he died. I'm lucky and blessed to be able to see mine. One of the last things she said to me at the funeral was 'Hug them all the time.'

We have 3 DD's, grown, married, and until recently 2 lived too far away, one very close to home. Well, the last DD moved to Houston for grad school. I had a full blown pity party, which isn't my style, but I couldn't help it.

So I sucked it up, pasted on the happy face, helped her pack, clean their house so they could rent it, helped drive her car and very large dog following the moving van to Houston.

It helps me to see their homes and communities and know some of the places they talk about.

It also helps that Philidelphia, Ft. Lauderdale and Houston (where DD's live) are hubs for SW Airlines.:whistle:

DH told me to make a 3 state visit quarterly, but take my dog. Oh, yeah, I got a pup to take the edge off the quiet, empty house. It does get easier with time, but I miss the crazy days of all three of them home.

I gave birth to 4 children, 34, 32, 24, 22 ... the boy is 24 and in the army. I also have 7 1/2 blood grandchildren.

I am the opposite most of you. It was a blessing for each to strike out on their own .. I had children in the house for 30 years ... I was ready for some time to myself.

Their vacations here (son comes on leave at Christmas for several weeks and daughters usually make it here during that time) are a whirlwind of crying babies, cooking meals, cleaning up after them *sigh* and no privacy.

I much prefer the one at a time visits but most of the time they don't happen.

Six years ago, we lost the home the children grew up in (voluntarily surrendered it during bankrupsty) and rented senior places until we found our new home in Nov. It is also in a senior community, so cannot have a long term "children" under 55 here. It works out well. I find it makes them be responcible for themselves instead of relying on us to raise their children.

I am mostly disabled .. not in a wheelchair yet but have a lot of problems getting around and taking care of myself .. would never be able to care for grandkids.

I do miss them ... and wonder what it would be like if they lived closer and could have known my grandkids as they grew .. but ...

I do gets lots of hugs from ds24 when he is home and 2 Iraq tours seem to make him appreciate home more then the girls.

I also belong to this kith. Wow!
I think this is 5 now. lol

My two sons are 33 and 27. Both have now
graduated college and moved to different states.

At first I was very sad and felt very lonely and I
still do sometimes. But just as the above poster
stated I have to remind myself of the reason
we raised them as we did and it is wonderful to
see all of your hard parenting work come to
fruition.

Yes it gets sad sometimes but me and dh are
like two kids again doing whatever we want
whenever we want.

It gets better.