My husband just called me and said that he had our banker check his credit report. Turns out that someone with the same name (that we also casually know) has stolen his identity! There is a mortgage that is WAAAAAAY delinquint along with a couple of personal loans. We've got a list of all these places and plan to start calling tonight. Has anyone here had to deal with this?

To make matters worse, my husband also found out about some credit cards that I have and owe on. I feel horrible- he knew about them when we opened them up( joint accounts), but has since forgotten about them. He didn't seem real mad about it, and said that he would pay them off here in the next month or two. But, I feel like dirt. To make matters worse, I have other CC's that are in my name that he doesn't know about. I don't think I'm going to tell him about the other ones - does this make me even worse of a wife? His finances are in No way hurt by me having these cards. He makes much more money than I do and is able to pretty much buy what he wants. I see my CC's as my problem that I need to fix.

My OP. Don't hide anything from each other in a marriage...
Hope you all work it out OK.

To hide the c.c from him I think does not bode well for the state of your marriage

First :hugz: on the identity theft......I hope you are able to get it all worked out!!

I have to agree with the other posters.....don't hide the cc's....not a good idea at all. Get everything out in the open!!

Good Luck!! :)

I wouldnt hide the cc debt from my hubby, and yes I have had my identity stolen. It sucks, but financial companies are really good about helping you out these days, its so common.

I believe in marriage "two become one" ....hubby should know about the credit cards. Have you put a freeze on the credit reporting companies so that they issue no more credit until this is resolved? It is free if your identity has been stolen. You have to do a temporary unfreeze if you personally need to buy anything but it will stop anybody else.

Im very sorry that your DH's identity was stolen, i hope your banking and financial consultants are working to get this worked out for you and DH.

I too think you need to tell DH about the CCs. I would hate to have something hidden from me by my DH.

I think it is dishonest to hide things in a marriage. I think it was dishonest for you to obtain credit cards that your DH does not know you have. I am sorry about the ID theft- this crime is becoming very scary.

Don't forget to make a police report: this is a fraud case also.

I agree with the others here don't hide the CCs from your hubby......

JMHO,
leezza

come back and tell us how it goes after you tell hubby about your cc debts......don;t hide it from him.
I think I speak for all of us when I say we will be eager to hear how it turns out.

We're here for you....Prayers headed your way..

Sorry his identity was stolen, that stinks! Hope you get it worked out soon. I wouldn't hide the CCs either. Good luck, let us know how it goes.

I do want to add that you should hold off judgement of this other person with the same name. This actually happens a lot! Some glitch, and presto-someone has gotten someone's chocolate in another's peanut butter so to speak! I know of someone that this happened to and it was NOT theft-just a mistake.

Seriously, do not accuse this other guy yet (even if it's only in your mind). He also may have no idea that his information is on your DH's report. But you may be right. I'm just saying don't jump to conclusions.

First, you should always call your local police to file a report. That should be step one. Then you should call all 3 credit bureaus. Calling all the individual accounts should be done last. Surprised that your banker did not advise you on what to do.

As for hiding CCs, uh...come on, you need to tell him. By the way, was there a reason why he was asking the banker to check his credit? If it is something for a mortgage or 2nd mortgage or something big like that, then your credit very well could affect whatever he is trying to do. Be honest. If he loves you, he will understand. Good luck! And please do let us know how it turns out!

I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

You should also check your homeowners policy to see if it states anything about identity theft. Some policies cover helping you recover it, I know met life and lots of travelers policies have it, and nationwide has it as an add on you may have taken? They also cover lost wages if you miss work while taking care of this....

Good luck!

DH and I had our account numbers stolen and they were printing checks with our account numbers and they cashed some and used several to make purchases at several different stores. We were so lucky, when the first two checks were brought in from a liquor store where they had been cashed, the bank teller noticed right away that the checks were fradulent and called us. She immediately closed all of our accounts. We were not liable for any of the checks they had gotten away with using.
Do tell DH about your CCs... it's never good to have secrets in a marriage. JMHO.

I am so sorry you will be dealing with such a difficult situation as this identity theft. It can be grueling to straighten out.

That said, In my opinion, you should tell DS about the other CCs as well. I believe that in a marriage, finances should not be kept from a spouse. JMHO

I hope your dH gets everything cleared up. As someone else said, it might not be a case pf identity theft, but maybe just a mix up on the part of the credit reporting agencies.

As far as not telling your DH about the accounts you've opened, I really don't think that's a very good idea. I believe it's best to be honest with each other to keep a marriage healthy. Good luck.


--Michelle

Like the others mentioned it may just be a mix up instead of stolen identity. My daughter has the same name as me and her credit info is always showing up on my report. Every year I have to clean my report up.

Thanks for the advice. My husband was talking to our banker because he is in a joint business with his brother and suspected that his brother had been using his name to obtain credit for the business. Low and behold, someone had been using his credit. Thankfully it wasn't his brother!!!! We have since gotten the phone numbers of the credit agencies and of the places where credit was obtained and are in the process of calling them. I'm hoping that it was just a glitch with the names being the same and living in the same community. My hubby wanted to contact the other guy and ask him about it. Luckily I convinced him that probably wouldn't help any - at least not right now since we don't know all the info.

My father in law has a debt that is on my DH's credit report (same name) and I guess there is a way to check that because every time it has come up (we have gotten a home equity line as well as a car since this appeared) and they are able to see that it is not our debt (it is in default). If it is a case of mistaken identity they can tell immediately. So it is probably safe to say that it was an identity theft situation. Make sure to file a police report (I know it was mentioned, it is worth repeating). Also, I am one who hid cc from my husband for awhile and came clean back in September. I cannot tell you the relief I feel for not hiding it anymore. He was upset and he was angry but he was happy that I fessed up to it without him finding out first. It will be ok and you will be better off telling him. Just my 2 cents from someone who has been there. Also, as a side note even with a freeze on your credit, accounts can still be opened. My best friend had her identity stolen and even after the freeze was put on (all three companies) there were still accounts open. You must be dilligent about checking your credit. Good luck and I wish you all the best.

you need to fess up about the other cards. It make hurt your pride a bit, but its not worth trouble later on. I had to do it. I owed $600 on my cc that DH didn't know about, it really made me ashamed to admit it to him, but now being honest is the best policy of all.

His finances are in No way hurt by me having these cards. He makes much more money than I do and is able to pretty much buy what he wants. I see my CC's as my problem that I need to fix.

This last portion of your post really stood out to me. You are married -- it's a partnership. Your problems are his problems and vice versa. Just MHO. I really think you should reconsider your decision to hide these CCs from him. I know it will not be easy to "come clean", but it's the right thing to do. :hugz: I imagine he will find out somehow eventually, so best to hear it from you and A.S.A.P. Also, I hope you are able to get the other problem worked out quickly and without too many hassles. Good luck!!

Like everyone, I agree that honesty is the best policy.

Think of it this way -- if he does find out later, and knows that you didn't come clean all at once, it could seriously affect his ability to trust you in the future.

Telling him about it will be hard, but you might find that there is an upside. You won't have to feel so guilty about hiding something, or so nervous that he might find out. He'll know the worst, and the two of you can work on the problem together... share the burden, so to speak. We all mess up, it's how you deal with it going forward that makes the difference.

Just my $.02. :)

And, sending you lots of good vibes for getting the identity theft mess sorted out as quickly and painlessly as possible.

a couple weeks ago i had a id thieft scare. after i got my credit report i told my fiance about my debt and we agreed that after i get contacts that i would pay the $2 thousand off with the money i get from taking surveys and reading email. he wasnt mad b/c he knew i had a time warner bill b4 i even told him about my credit report. he told me about his also and his isnt as bad as mine. so u really should tell him about ur credit cards. u might be surprised that hes not angry.

I wouldn't hide anything...it can cause trust issues...

There were a whole bunch of CC #'s stolen recently. My parent's had this done... The company closed the cards and is sending them new one's, but charges are still going through on the old one (parent's aren't responsible)...it's up to $10,000 already!!! And those thieves stole a BUNCH of #'s!! I can't imagine what the totals are!! I can't figure out why the company is still letting charges go through???

Anyway, this is the second time it's happened to them... Sad world...

Oh wow! I hope you get the identity problem fixed quickly!