Somehow, my ex husband keeps coming up with ways to shock me with his audacity.

He asked me last week for the children's SIN #s (like SS #s in he states) so he could access the bank accounts that his parents have been contributing to for the children. I said, "No, if you want that and their birth certificates, you can pay for them like I did. I will not help you pillage our children's money."

So then..... are you sitting down? He asked Chloe, my 12 year old to borrow money. He basically wants Chloe to pay her own child support!!!!!!!


Have you ever heard of a person so low in your lives??? This is unbelievable.

I took her bank card away and put it in my purse and told her, "Just tell him Mom has my bank card, I can't help you."

And then didn't my darling precocious daughter swipe her card right out of my purse before going over there yesterday. They aren't back til Suday night, but I think I already know the ending to this story.

I am so blasted mad I am shaking just writing this. I called the bank, I called the cops and THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO!!!!

It breaks my heart, but I am going to have to let her learn the hard way wat kind of man her father is.

Ugh, Daisygirl, he reminds me so much of what our dad was like when we were kids and my parents divorced. Such a sleezebag! (sorry, I know he's your kids' father, but I'm really mad at him right now and don't know him from Adam). :furious: I was Dad's oldest and knew what he was like, but at the same time, he was my 'Daddy' and I fell for his crap every time. :shake:

You're right, she will learn the hard way.

He'll clean her bank account out, and then she'll have lesson #1, but it may not end there. As a kid, you want to believe that your dad has integrity and character. Till he does enough crappy stuff.

So sad for your daughters. And you.

Wow I'm suprised at her age she even has a card I guessing this is like a debit card connected to her acct. Here in the states well at least in my area you have to be 18 yrs old. When they pull stuff like this doesn't it make you wonder who they are ? like that wasn't the person you spent so much of your time with the person you loved and made you happy at some point in your life...I know I do my ex:bang: b/c he's fregg'n idoit. Sometimes I think they do things just b/c their unhappy... My ex rears his ugly head for some retarted reason about every 4 months or so doing something that just pisses me off and it's off the wall stuff :furious:. Good luck and hang in there maybe a budget to your dd's account is in order so that her card isn't something so easily accessed.

Karen,

Maybe you should call grandpa and let him know what his son is doing......I bet that might get you a little revenge.

I am so sorry about this....

leezza

PS. is DD going to get into trouble for getting into your purse???

As a hairstylist that has 500+ clients, I thought I had heard of everything. All I can say is WOW.... he really is something else!

Call his parents & let them know. I don't know about the laws in different states but I always thought an adult was also named when these things are opened.

Leeza, she'll get in a bit of trouble, but purses aren't really sacred in my house. (It was in my mom's house, so I know just what you mean). Here I have a drawer that is a no-touch zone.

I knew you guys would understand and totally agree and sympathize with the situation.

The card is a debit card that goes to Chloe's bank account, where she saves her babysitting money. She has nearly $500 in it, all of which she has personallly earned. (Thank God she has my money sense and not her father's.)

Omg!!! I cant believe he would stoop that low. what a idiot!!!! some people dont care who they hurt along the way as long as they achieve what they want at others exspense.
I'm so sorry your still having probs with him. I though he's give up on how to be idiot in x many ways. ughhhhh

One of her accounts was opened when we were still married and his name is on it - that is the one Grandpa has contributed to. The other account has my name on it, but it is still my daughter's account - which sadly means that she does not need my permission to access her money. It is a junior account and the only limitation is how much cash she can withdraw without me ($40). Spending, however, is unlimited so she could purchase something for him.

You guys are right, grandpa has to know.

So sad for my ex's parents that their son keeps breaking their hearts.

He is scum

Can you remove the money from the account before she does? So sorry your ex is such a butthead. :(

OMG!! I can not believe it! I do agree that you should let the grandparents know. Where we live, there is a guardian on the account and under 18 can not get the money with out the guardians consent. Too bad yours isn't like that. Of course it wouldn't make any difference if his name is on the account, he could access it himself.

When I was a kid my cousins father used to pull stuff like that all the time, he had a gambling addiction. Her parents had divorced because he almost cost them their family home and my aunt finally kicked him out.
My cousin didn't understand why daddy needed money all the time and was angry with her mother for not helping him when he kept getting himself into financial trouble. Now that my cousin is an adult she has realised her mother was protecting her and has nothing to do with her dad, she calls him a loser. Sad but she figured out who was the good guy eventually.

I'm so sorry that you have to keep dealing with this. There's a saying in our neck of the woods: "You can't fix stupid." Sounds like you are dealing with stupid. And as long as he is the father of your girls, you'll have to keep on dealing with him. I really admire how you are creating a good life for your children and protecting them. Meanwhile, let the grandparents know, have a good talk with the girls, and do whatever it takes to protect your accounts, etc. Let us know what happens.

Can you ring up the bank and report the card as "lost or stolen" to put an immediate freeze on it. It WAS stolen....!

Scummy! Ooooo, that would make me sooo mad. heck, I am mad for YOU!

That is very sad and awful that he is doing this. I hope he doesn't get any money off DD.

:furious::furious::furious::beat: I'm telling you, let me at the no good louse, I'll take care of him!

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH, I'd LOVE just 5 minutes with that :soapbox: JERK!!!

Hugs to you hun, man it's about time for all of this to end!

kj

Oh Karen! He has stooped so very low. I pray that your dd will come to understand the length's that her dad will go to just for money. It's so sad that he is taking advantage of her and her sister. :furious:

I ran into the girls (planned this of course) at a birthday party for a friend's son last night. (I knew they were going because he called and told me I needed to buy a present if I wanted them to be allowed to go.)

I had told the girls I would see them there. As soon as she saw me Chloe pulled her wallet out of her pocket and handed it to me telling me she "accidentally" took her bank card - she had just grabbed her wallet for the $5 cash she had in it.

The look in her eyes told me something had happened. Then she quickly told me the bank card had not even come out of her wallet. She said "I told dad I only had $20 in my account."

I couldn't really talk to her much, but I said quietly, "If you had left your card at home, you would not have had to lie. I don't approve of you lying to your father, but I understand why you did."

She gave me a quick hug and went off to re-join the party.

I knew it! I knew he would hit her up. Poor baby is heartbroken but her money is safe and she has learned her lesson. We are going this week to change the info on her account to my name only. I know she will never tell me the full story because she is trying to protect.

Poor, smart little girl. I hate it that a 12 year old has seen what the world is like so early.

Shall we all form a lynch mob?

That makes me so mad!! ARR

Wow DaisyGirl he is a first class loser. Ok we knew this before from your posts but wow this takes the cake! I'm so sorry!!!

How about moving her account to one where Chloe must have a person(stated in writing, You or Grandpa) there in person to be allowed to withdraw money?

Wow, so sorry for all the mess!!!! What a total @#!$%&!!!!!! You are trying so hard and are doing a SUPER job with your girls!!!!! Count me in on the lynching party!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Katy

Wow. Your story makes me so sad. Hopefully your daughter learned what she needed to in this.

I like your idea Darlene. I have been thinking of bank shopping anyway for one with lower fees. I can probably get her to change to without going into vast detail on why.

I have a couple of days off this week, so I will straighten things out then. For now, at least, her money is safe. It would have broken my heart for her to lose what she has worked so hard to save up.

Wow Karen!! Your ex stories never cease to amaze me! What a class one jerk.......glad this had a "happy"????? ending!

I have no words.....


SOrry Karen.

Your are such a good mom, Karen.

What you said about the look in her eyes at the party made me almost cry. So hard to find out your dad's a dirtbag.

I still think you should tell his folks about the incident--in a nice, 'concerned about his welfare' kind of way. Tell them about the incident at the party and how you knew from her look.

I'm not at a loss for words but I sure couldn't write them on a message board.
I'm so sorry for Chloe and you. Hopefully he doesn't try to hit up Rachel next...:furious::furious::furious:

That is unbelievable. But at least Chloe is starting to see the kind of person he really is and on her own, she wouldn't believe it otherwise.

I can't imagine.

Karen, Steph has a savings account at a local bank that her dad went with her when she opened it and had it set up to where a parent MUST be with her, show ID, and sign with her when she withdraws money. In Kentucky it's called a "kyutma". Check into this in your state. Of course, having an ATM card is a different issue. We didn't get Steph one because we wanted her to THINK before she withdrew money instead of just being able to suck it out anytime.

Funny story, because I was at work when they opened it, I was unable to be added to the account and since she never withdrew any money we never worried about it. Then, dh was gone for a week and she wanted some of her money. Even though the people at the bank know me very well they weren't able to authorize a withdrawal. I ended up giving her the money out of my checking and then she repaid me when dh came home and went with her. No need for me to get upset, because I'm glad her money is safe.

My stepfather conned my Granny (great-grandmother) when I was a preteen to get the money out of my and my sisters' accounts that she started when we were born. We had gotten horses and he told her he wanted to be able to put up fence so that we could graze them. What he left out was that he took MOST of the hundreds that we had and paid off his back child-support. I've always had a personal issue with any parent that will steal from their child. :furious:

Poor Chloe. It's too bad she has to learn what a jerk her father is. My father was the same way and I know exactly how that feels. I'm glad she still has her money, though.


--Michelle

If you do not wish to switch or don't have time, I worked for a bank and we could set limits on how much was used on an debit card, this was daily cash withdrawls AND spending maybe you could give the bank a call and see if they offer the same. Given 24 hrs the limit could be brought back up in the case she needed to use more than the limit that was set. Hey I'm on board for a lynching I have some fustration with my ex and seeing how yours is just as big of an azz as mine I'm not picky. I'm glad he didn't get her $$ and I loved the way you handled it with her. Though I think it was sad dad couldn't even spring for a losey gift for the party grrrr. Strike it up as a lesson a hurtful one for her bless her heart but next time she'll know.

About that lynching... have passport, will travel.

I know it may be a PITA, but what about shipping her money to an account over the border (in the US)... or something online? For 'quick' money, she can get it from you and you can move the money over.

I have nothing to say about your ex... you already know how I feel about him!

I am glad Chloe did the right thing - eventually. Sad that she had to feel as if she had to do it at all.

As a former deadbeat-daddy's little girl, I wouldn't have believe anything Mom said about him, and I didn't discover what a true wanker he was until I was 15... I knew earlier that he was pond-scum, but had no idea how low on the evolution chain he was until then.

Let's hope Chloe has made her own discovery and helps Rachel down the road.

That stinks. You need to put the money in another bank that he doesn't know about and lock up all information to get to it.

Shall we all form a lynch mob?

I'm in.....I can't even believe a father would do that to his children!!!:furious::angry::fuming:

Woooo - my ex better run if we all get after him!

What a pig! How sickening. I would close the account and roll it all into savings in YOUR name, and keep that money for Chloe. He's going to record all the info so he can dip into it on-line any time, so you need to close the account altogether. What is he spending money on that he needs to do this to her own daughter? And how much is in her account anyway?

Sorry to hear this!

Can you put some of that money in a savings account in her name? Or put it in a 'fixed' savings account for, for instance, a year and get a higher percentage? Or state shares? In the Netherlands you can ever so often lend your money to the state for a fixed period, they pay a good percentage and are guaranteed to pay back your money - no risk involved. I think the amount of money is quite high for a 12-year old to be just 'hanging around' in an easily accessible account. Maybe 100 dollars would be enough for her to have ready access to?

Sorry to hear this!

Can you put some of that money in a savings account in her name? Or put it in a 'fixed' savings account for, for instance, a year and get a higher percentage? Or state shares? In the Netherlands you can ever so often lend your money to the state for a fixed period, they pay a good percentage and are guaranteed to pay back your money - no risk involved. I think the amount of money is quite high for a 12-year old to be just 'hanging around' in an easily accessible account. Maybe 100 dollars would be enough for her to have ready access to?

I agree. Perhaps now would be a good time to discuss the nature of a savings account and mutual funds, too.

On another note, in a year or two she might need to know about what's reasonable to expect/put up with from a boyfriend and eventually husband so she doesn't get involved with a guy like her dad.