This is the world's longest post, I warn you in advance. I've just had such anxiety this month about money I feel like I might explode. My poor husband is sick of hearing about it and I found this forum so I thought maybe talking it out and getting some advice could help me out.
So here is my ENTIRE financial history in a large nutshell.
I dropped out of college after ONE semester at eighteen. Two months later I was pregnant. At that point in my life I was truely convinced that my husband and I could make a decent living working retail together. I can't fathom why I felt this way as we weren't on our own yet. But that's how it was.
So my son was born October that year, the same month we finally made the step to become independent. I have to brag that we had a good 2500 dollars in savings at that point though so I wasn't a complete idiot. Unfortunately I guess I should have put it towards my medical bills because there is 3500 bucks some people are waiting for because I didn't understand that if the hospital and/or doctors don't put in a claim I have to figure out how to make them or do it myself... *SIGH* why don't they teach this in school?
Anyways so in 2007 after shuffling through some job situations that didn't work, we were breaking even. No credit card debt, no car payment, we rented an apartment so the only debt was just that medical issue. So we made a plan. We would get pregnant with our second and final child, I would watch the kids while going back to school, when I graduated we would make the transition of me being full time to him being part time so that he could go back to school and start his career. So that plan went great but then we lost the baby. After that neither one of us wanted to try again.
So we regrouped and made different plans. We would pursue our dream of a house, both of us would work AND go back to school, and live with one child until graduation when the cash was flowing in we would decide whether we wanted to try again. I got an overnight job, we house hunted, we had the money, it all finally came together.
Then a week before we closed on our house I realized it was becoming extremely difficult for me to stay awake, I was not able to get enough to eat EVER and I always felt horribly sick. Three days before we closed on the house I find I am pregnant again, very unexpectedly. I tried to cling to my part time job but it was just too much for me to stay up eight hours, get four hours of sleep and then expect to make it through the day. I had to quit about a month after we closed on the house, though through some luck our realtor negotiated too much money from the seller and we did not have to give up our savings for the house.

So now 4 months later we are 300 dollars short of breaking even per month, and almost at the end of our savings. We got our tax return of $1500 plus $500 in savings to get us through while my husband searches for a second job. It wouldn't be very difficult for him to find a first job that covers all the bills but we have a baby on the way and we have to worry about medical insurance now.
I had to sit down and talk to my husband last night. I admitted that I made bad decisions about money from the start. I apologized because I have realized that financial security has become a top priority need for me after spending six months when I worked and I never had to worry that we wouldn't break even. I miss putting money away already, I miss planning how much money I wanted to put in a 401k (husband is not eligible at current job for another 3 years). I felt like we had it so together and now I feel like all the success I thought we had accomplished was "fake".
So now I have 2 problems: how to make enough money to survive until I can go back to work or he can find a better paying job, and then secondly how to invest in a more permanent solution to our money problems. We have the mortgage on the house 110k, the 3k I still owe for medical bills and that's it, no other debt. I feel like this situation should be easy to turn around, I just don't see the specific way. There would be no point in selling the house, we'd pay as much in rent as we would for this house in this area.
So here is the way I see it. I have $1500. I want to go ahead and pay my obgyn her $700 so I don't accumulate any more medical debt. That leaves $800. We could survive 2 more months while my husband looks for a part time job- he is sincerely looking, and in our area there is a lot of retail if nothing else. How do we make it past this "red zone" and then what do we do? I'm afraid that graduation from college is not the golden land of promised cash I hope it will be. I'm thinking about trying to sell something on ebay, I'm very crafty and artistic but I'm afraid of the money and time investment I'd have to put in it when we technically have nothing to invest. So that's the money in black and white.
In the meantime, I'm so disappointed that we don't have the money to welcome our new baby with. And mostly I'm tired of ignoring, worrying about, hating, and fearing our money. I have GOT to come up with a plan. For now and for my life. I feel like at every oppurtunity for making things better I have only made it worse. So thanks for reading this gigantic post, if anybody has advice, suggestions, or a little support for me it is most wonderfully welcome!!
:newbie:

Is there any way you could babysit? I know I hated doing it but it is money and you will still be home with your child. I know lots of people looking for sitters who are available later in the day/evening and will pay extra. You may not get rich off of sitting but you can surely break even for the month.

What is your budget?

mortgage
utilities
insurance home/car
food
misc.

If you post these and your income I'm sure others will give some advise.

PS welcome to Frugal Village and congrats on the pregnancy!

I have to run to take care of my midgets but I couldn't leave without giving you a hug! :hugz:

Mortgage: 950
Grocery: Varies 300-400 includes diapers, shampoo, ect
Utilities: 200
Gas: 40
Phone: 100 (2 cell phones)
Internet: 45
No car payment, house ins is in the payment, car insurance is covered by my husband's parents for some reason.

Our income is 28k per year but we only see 1500 per month net after medical ins ($400)

Cut your grocery money by 1/2
Buy cloth diapers and save on disposable
ones.
search around to see if you can find cheaper medical insurance.
Can you drop the cells and go to trac phones?
Maybe someone else can help you.
Congradulations on the new baby and new house

First, welcome and hugs, glad to have you here. This is a great place to come for advice. It is good you are taking steps to remedy your situation before you get father in debt.

Your past money sucess may feel fake, but for your age, I think you were doing a good job, it was real success, sometimes we just hit unexpected bumps in the road.

You can raise you baby pretty cheaply, especially if you breastfeed and cloth diaper. The baby will never know wether it was welcomed with money or not. Even if the baby is a different sex than your first, there are many clothes that can be recycled/shared. You could borrow what you don't have or look to freecycle or craigslist for items too. For the first several years, we gave our youngest diapers, garage sale clothes and cheap toys for christmas. We did the best we could on our limited budget. Kids need love and care, not stuff.

I do think you could cut some on your gorcery bill. Maybe shop sales and cook from what you have accumulated via loss leaders and clearance items. Do a 1x/wk meatless dinner, 1x/week breakfast for dinner, etc. Remember its just to get you thorugh the red zone.

As far a medical, if it were me, I would commit to 10/month or something that the Dr/midwife agrees to till you get to the other side of things. Beings that you are 300/mo short, the 700 could carry you another couple of months if it became necessary.

I agree with the idea of babysitting. I did it for several years till we could afford to buy our first home. Also, do you have stuff around the house that you could sell on ebay or Craigslist, DVDs, books, etc? Personally, I would be hesitant to spend money on craft supplies to make items for ebay.

With an income of 28K, a child and being pregnant, I wonder if you qualify for some assistance. I'd check into that, you may be suprised. Even if its just to get you through.

Good luck, and congrats on the new house and the new baby

First off congrats on the baby. Second, cut down on groceries. I can feed myself, my very very very hungry meat eatter boyfriend, a dog, 2 cats and several small animals.. oh yeah and my daughter lol on $50/week. Didn't think I could but found out... I can! That's the first place to look to cut.

Medical insurance is enough to put anyone in the poorhouse. Massachusetts has a state funded insurance for kids, pregnant women and now people who can not afford insurance otherwise.

I noticed you are from TN ... There is a something like that there too... TN CoverKids (http://www.healthinsurancefinders.com/healthinsurance/tennessee/schip.html)

Check out the Dollar Stores to see what they have to offer. Most have cleaning supplies, shampoos, medicines and food.

Check out all the areas on the Village, it is full of ideas. Not everything will work for you, but it's worth a shot.

You show internet $45. If it's not some kind of plan you can't get out of, could you live with dial up for a while? Yeah, it's pokey and sometimes irritating , but my aol is only $10 a month.

I agree about the cell phones--are you in a contract? Can you switch to track? I would also hold off on buying craft supplies unless it's something you're absolutely sure of selling on ebay (do a lot of research). I have to agree with everyone about babysitting, too. I used to make extra money that way--I was at home anyway so what was one more child to watch? You could make good money that way. Do you have a Home Depot around you? They (as well as other companies) offer benefits to part time employees--maybe dh can get a second job there? Also places like that (and Walmart, etc.) have positions for day, evening and over night. Good luck!

Welcome to the boards and congrats on the new baby!

I too say to make payments on the medical bills. I always do. My dh was in the hospital for 3 days for his heart and while insurance did great because of the PPO plan we will still come out at oweing about $1000 which is a new debt--dang it!

I pay $25 a month right now as I am on Dave Ramseys plan to snowball and the Credit card comes first.

I have never heard a single complaint about payments. They just cash my check every month.

Do not sell out your savings!

Try to get a $1000 savings in palce for emeregncies if you can simply for your peace of mind.

Now if you continue to be short every month then use it as needed of course!

Also, do try to cut back on the grocery money. I do not have a baby at home but I do have a dh and one of our dd at home and I make out okay at $165 month for everything but I am a careful shopper.

I am glad you found us, if not because we can offer suggestions to help but also just because we UNDERSTAND and it is okay to talk with us.

Once again--congrats on the new baby!

Wow so much advice so quickly, thank you so much!
The phone is too expensive, I agree and we plan to cut my cell off of it and opt for either the bellsouth landline or a prepaid for emergencies for me- but we think the contract costs 200 bucks to get out of altogether so we're a bit stuck with my husband's line. I am currently on a 100 dollar payment plan that my dr has approved, so I don't HAVE to drop that cash now I just figured now or later the money is still "spent".
I will have to work on the groceries. I had just heard about cloth diapers last month and I have sewn and knit a whole bunch for the new baby. It has been a great outlet for my money woes :D I am trying to potty train my two year old though I think my optimism is greater than his desire to potty train so I might invest in some cloth to blunt that cost. We do usually just buy the wal-mart brand though so it's not just a terrible drain on our grocery bill, that is probably more pregnant-lady cravings and terrible cooking skills that wipe out that part of the budget. We have been trying SO hard to learn to cook efficiently, though, I swear.
The insurance is expensive but it's good enough for my husband to stay with the company even though the job is not what we need. It covers 90% with only a $500 deductible. Aside from the deductible I will only pay my obgyn $200 to have this baby if it goes normally. I happen to know for a fact that Cobra is 600 dollars a month and does not cover that much.
I plan to get on WIC also and that will pay for milk ($4.15per week) plus cheese and yogurt, and if I should not be able to breastfeed, formula also. Beyond that I am hesitant to ask for government assistance because both of our parents are very well off- if we truely need help it is a phone call away- and we should be able to afford to pay for ourselves if we find the work. But if it comes to that, I will look into it before I put anything on the credit card. We never put anything on the credit card we can't pay off at the end of the month.
As for babysitting, I have thought about it with a lot of interest but I'm not sure that it's the right thing for us. My son is terrible with other children, I mean really terrible. He has twin cousins and I guess the whole sharing thing is easy for them but impossible for him to grasp. I don't really like other people's kids either. Besides that I'm only twenty-one and honestly I dont know if I would hand my own child over to a socially impaired tired cranky pregnant twenty-one year old... and I have no friends who have children yet. Actually none of my friends are even married yet... my sister does but she lives eight hours away...
I guess I am most worried about where I should point myself for the future. I really hope this is just a bump and not a recurring mismanagement of my money/life. :scratch:
So anyways thanks for all the replies it's all really helpful and everyone here is really wonderful! :D

Great advice here........I just wanted to say congratulations on the new baby and you are a success. I wish I would have thought about things, like you are doing now, at your age. Hugs to you.

Something that might help with bringing the grocery bill down is Angel Food Ministries (http://www.angelfoodministries.com/). $30 for a big box of food monthly if there's a program in your area (there are listings for TN but don't know which will be closest for you)

First of all take a breath and just read, read, read here. You'll find lots of new ideas that will cost you nothing to implement and will save you lots. You can make your own laundry detergent (search for the recipe here) and that alone saves a fair amount. You can so many things that will save a little here and a little there and all in all adds up to substantial savings. Turn your heat down to the lowest possible amount that you can tolerate, layer on clothes....turn off all lights you're not using, etc.... . Just read a lot here......Have faith. You'll work this out. :hugz:

With the income you have mentioned I would suggest the following:
do not feel bad about signing up for help, that’s what you and all of
us pay out taxes for….so people can get a hand up when they need it.

*Sign up for WIC

*Sign up for Food Stamps

*Sign up for whatever medical they have in your state

*Read all the sections about how to save on groceries/shopping

*Sign up for freecycle in your area, (for baby stuff)

*make payments on medical bills

*Try not to touch the savings unless you have to

*Visit diaper company websites and get coupons for product

*Ask all friend/family to pass on coupons they don’t use, (it’s some
work to start but once you get into it you can save 30-60% off on your
groceries, and other items).

*If close family asks if you need any help go ahead and ask for it but
it sounds like you are trying to do it on your own, so maybe say some-
thing like, “Mom if you want to could get us a gift card for such &
such grocery store, that would be great”. Just an idea.

*Church, if you belong to one….let the pastor, know that you are going
thru a rough spot and is there anything he can suggest to help you along.

Mostly I would say that the ladies that are on this site know so much, just
what I have learned about the grocery shopping has saved me lots….

Just keep reading and let us know how you are doing.

Kind Regards,
leezza

Can you sell the house without losing a ton of money? From the budget you posted, your mortgage and utilities are taking over 2/3 of your take-home pay.

As for the cooking, do you have a crockpot? If not, I would invest in one. You can make some great meals with little effort, and use less expensive cuts of meat. There are tons of crockpot recipes on this site and on the internet.

The medical bills you have.... are they from when you had insurance but a doctor just did not submit the forms?


Even if you do not still have that insurance, if you were covered when the bills were made you can still submit them.... or ask to be paid back any money that you paid out of pocket when the insurance should have paid.


Keep you rmedical bills on payment plans as low as you possibly can... you never know what wil hapeen next week!




If you are not comfortable with asking either set of parent's for temporary money help, then by all means sign up for what you qualify for. Don't let shame or guilt get in the way! Parent's don't always help and wont be there for ever, so take care of you and yours however you can!



There a MANY sites on cloth diapers and making them. Used diapers are a HOT ticket on ebay and a million other places.





Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!

You show internet $45. If it's not some kind of plan you can't get out of, could you live with dial up for a while? Yeah, it's pokey and sometimes irritating , but my aol is only $10 a month.

I think AOl can be free, you just have to ask. Ours is free. There was some big deal about it a few years back and if you call and ask, they will stop charging....worth checking into. I told my mom about it and she called and hers is free now too.

Kudos for being so smart at your age! :bowing: I wish that I had your thoughts and considerations at such a young age. Don't put yourself down. You are going to do great! I have a 21 year old son who can't even figure out how to work and get his laundry done in the same week, lol.

The main thing you have going for you and your family is you know yourself and your limitations. That's an awesome thing and shows you are very grown up. The mistakes you might have made are in the past and are a part of a learning process. Don't beat yourself up over them. Now you're here at Frugal Village. You can learn so much here just by reading and asking questions.

Dh and I are bad about needing the treats from the grocery store to feel like we are alive (or in your case, cravings). But, we ration those out. For example, I love pickled orkra. At almost $3.00 a jar that's not a frugal snack and certainly not in our grocery budget. Dh and I each buy one thing that we absolutely love to eat once a month. When it's gone, we have to wait until that month is up to get more but we don't feel so deprived since we know we get our treat now and then. I buy myself a huge candy bar for $1.59 every couple of months. I ration it out to myself knowing that I only have so much and have to make it last. You just have to get into the mind set that you don't have to have or need everything, now.

When I was your age I had a young family and we were very poor. We refused to ask for help from our families and we refused to get government assistance due to pride. Looking back now 25 years later, I see that we were just dumb! We literally starved and did without so very much and it was just stupidity, and pride on our part that kept us from having the things that we truely needed. Don't do that to yourself or your family. If you are finacially eligible for those programs then yes, sign up for them and don't take a look back. You may have well-off parents but they are not there as your private checkbook and I know you know that or you would have already asked them for the money. Don't put a strain on your relationship with your parents. You don't have to mention to them that you are signing up for all of these programs. It's your business. Do what YOU need to do to get by for your family.

I have dial-up internet with a local provider. It costs me $14.95 per month and although it is slow, it is rarely down. Call around and see if you can lower that bill. Even some high speed internet companies in my town are only $29.00 a month.

Buy or make a few cloth diapers and buy a few pair of plastic coverups but don't switch completely until you have done the test to see if your baby can wear them. When my ds was a baby he would get horrid rashes everytime I put him in cloth diapers. It was either the soap or the urine but switching to cloth diapers caused him a lot of discomfort and us some extra doctor bills due to the rash. He never broke out when he was wearing disposable diapers.

As far as your schooling? You are very young and yes, I do believe that extended education is a must and will help each of you find jobs either in a field that you love or that even pays big bucks or both if you're lucky. Just be patient and do what you feel you can at this time. There are lots of financial help programs for school that you or dh may be eligible for but until you get a handle on your income/budget, and you have the baby, it's going to be more of a burden than a blessing. Be patient.

I'm so sorry you're having a hard time and I do hope and pray that things get easier for you both soon. Come here and vent all you want. There is always someone here to help or lend an ear. God Bless you and your family, Carolyn

For being so young and just starting out, you are doing a great job. There are so many young people (myself included) who sign up for every kind of credit card that comes their way and learns the hard way about being in debt. By having no extra debt (other than your home and a relatively small medical bill), you are really ahead of the game.

I will say that for your income your mortgage is pretty high. Hopefully, that will change as more money comes in, either in the form of raises or additional jobs. Until then, your main focus should be on cutting all costs wherever you can.One of the first things I see (as others have) is your grocery bill. I know that diapers, baby food, etc. can be pretty expensive, but I believe that the amount you're spending can really come down with some attention and work. We are a family of three adults and one pre-teen and we spend around $400/month for groceries, household items, pet food, etc. There are those who have found ways to spend even less. They are the true Frugal Masters. :bowing: It can be done.

I think the idea about checking into whether your previous medical bills can still be covered is a good one. As far as your insurance goes, it sounds like you have good coverage for the price. (We are actually payng about $360/month with a $3000 deductible. And I work for a hospital system.) Although, do also look into your state's health insurance. Being that y'all are making so little right now, you will probably qualify.

Also, DO NOT feel bad about using resources such as WIC and other government programs to help you out , if you need it. That's what these programs are there for and once y'all are doing better financially, you will no longer need it but your tax dollars will then be helping others who are where you once were.

Definitely check into cheaper internet. We are paying $19.99/month for DSL through AT&T.See if you can get in on some cheap introductory offer. I always see them advertised.

BTW, welcome to the Village. We're glad you're here. :)


--Michelle

Congrats on the new baby.

You said that you sew, if you are really good, perhaps you could do seamstress work for people who can't do stuff like that.