I feel like I whine to much. This has been bugging me.

When my oldest and I left her dad we basically started from nothing and within a couple of years we were doing great with no struggles.

3 1/2 years ago I met my babys dad. My oldest and I left almost all of our belongings, furniture, etc to go to Texas and to live with him. He lied and said he had a furnished house, etc. It was a lie.

When I was about 4 months pregnant me and my oldest came back to Michigan. We had to start over with nothing again.

We do rent a nice house with cheap rent, have a nice car, but we're still working on furnishing our house. 2 1/2 years and I still don't have a bed, no dressers, or decent kitchen things.

Also because of my ex boyfriend I failed some classes and had my financial aid taken away, he wouldn't allow me to get on the internet or do things for my online classes.

It's so hard to get back to where we used to be. I'm trying to go back to school, trying to make more money and budget wisely, I have 2 kids to take care of so things are moving slowly.

I had plans to try to buy a trailor to put on my parents property this summer but that has been pushed back at least a year now.

I just feel like there is a string that just holding me back enough to where we can't go forward. I try to remain positive all the time. After reflecting over where we've come over the last 1-2 years there is little difference.

I'm sorry, i'm just feeling bad today. Please ignore.

In reading that it seemed to me your doing something many women do... which is put too much into a man.
Usually too, a man you really don't know.

It should help you very much to stop doing that to improve all areas of your life.

Do you see that ?
or is it just me seeing that?

NO! I am NOT going to ignore you. I am going to pray for you. You've made some bad choices (we all have), but you also are a determined young woman who is now thinking ahead. You seem to be a devoted mother and daughter, and I applaud you. And you seem to be having a downer day, but keep on "keeping on". My prayer for you is that you will continue to make good choices and to set a great example for your daughters.

Do you see that ?
or is it just me seeing that?

It's just you...she's been away from him for 2 years.

Keep your chin up. Slow and steady baby steps will get you there eventually. Don't get frustrated!!! *hugs* :hug2:

Fall down 7 times, get up 8. I agree with the above poster, I'm also going to join prayer for you, because it does work.

I'm sorry your having a bad day. It's pouring down rain here today and I can't help but feel a little down myself, but I know it's only temporary.

And yet you have made it another day--that says a lot about you. Here you are, still plugging away and still being persistent.

So what that you may have put too much in a man--MANY of us have done the same thing. That was then, this is now. I DOUBT strongly that there is little difference today than two years ago. I bet you know way more about yourself now than you did then. That's priceless. Yes, you may not have some furniture, etc. BUT, you have your mind. It seems like you have that mind set on going to school and are working for it. Give yourself some credit--you are WAY better off than you were two years ago (and your kids probably are, too).

Keep on keeping on and don't be so hard on yourself. Being a mom is a hard job and being a single mom is even harder. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep your eye on the prize--you'll get there! I believe in you!

I think you show great strength that you were able realize you were in a bad situation and started from scratch again. That is not easy for anyone much less a single woman raising two children. It took me 15 years to get the furniture and things needed just for a one bedroom apartment. Sure it took a long time, but everything I have I really like. Just didn't have the funds to get everything all at once. Don't forget your children are also learning valuable lessons. You can do without at times, you need to work hard for what you want, life may knock you down sometimes but you always get up and keep trying. Don't ever apologize for needing to reach out sometimes. That is one thing that is great about this website.

Take care.

The thing of it all is patience. I don't have it so it's hard for me to get through some things that take time and patience. It's hard when things feel like they are taking forever to get right. Keep going. You'll get there.

:hugz: :hugz: :hugz:

Where abouts are you in Michigan? If you aren't too far away, I could get some things (bed,dresser) donated to you...(no junk, nice things!)

I know that feeling...like every time you try it just sets ya back that much further... But you know what? You've kept trying!! And even though you've had some setbacks it WILL get better!!

I second the idea of using freecycle... Nice things, no charge...

Sending up prayers that things will start to improve so rapidly it just knocks your socks off! :D (Socks you took out of your nice dresser in your room, next to your nice, comfy bed). ;)

It will all work out...and you just feel free to vent ANY time you want!! That's what we're all here for...to encourage each other! :)

Sending you lots and lots of hugs!!! :hugz:

And yet you have made it another day--that says a lot about you. Here you are, still plugging away and still being persistent.

So what that you may have put too much in a man--MANY of us have done the same thing. That was then, this is now. I DOUBT strongly that there is little difference today than two years ago. I bet you know way more about yourself now than you did then. That's priceless. Yes, you may not have some furniture, etc. BUT, you have your mind. It seems like you have that mind set on going to school and are working for it. Give yourself some credit--you are WAY better off than you were two years ago (and your kids probably are, too).

Keep on keeping on and don't be so hard on yourself. Being a mom is a hard job and being a single mom is even harder. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep your eye on the prize--you'll get there! I believe in you!
good luck. and whine any time.

You seem to be a strong person and a good mother. Stay away from the man and take care of yourself and children first. That is what I did and it worked. God bless you.......

I commend you on your strength as a mother and as a woman. Your strength shows in your post whether you see it or not just yet, look how far you have already come :).

I bet that your house isn't just a house, you have made it a home for you and your family :hugz:

We are all here for you whenever you need us (((HUGS)))

Wow, thank you, you've made me feel so much better.

My mom stopped by tonight and handed me a new winter coat and told me to try it on. I haven't owned a coat in years, I always just wore a sweat shirt and a quilted flannel because thats what I had and i'd rather spend money on my kids instead of something for me.

It got me to thinking that things are not bad for me, I want instant results that's not going to happen without hard work.

I just need to think of a plan and work on accomplishing it while having fun and enjoy just spending time with my kids.

I have 2 new job offers to look into. I need another company to work for in able to feel more secure.

There is no school this Friday so my kids and I are having a special slumber party just the 3 of us. We're going to make a fancy cake, watch movies, and have fun Thursday night. It's little things like this that makes everything worth it.

MMy2Grls,
Regarding your need for furnishing your house, please go and sign up for this great place called Freecycle. http://www.freecycle.org/

Everything is for free! Everything is on offer in a location near you. :earth: It is a world wide grass roots organization that benefits people and the environment. :earth:


I do belong to the freecycle in my area. Seems like there is so much wants for like new cars and homes. There is to much greed in my group that hardly anyone posts anymore.

Sounds like you're going to have an awesome slumber party!!!

Enjoy the treasures you have in your life!

Glad you are feeling a bit better. :)

Adding my thoughts and prayers & echoing the replies of all of the wonderfully supportive villagers here.

Keep your spirits up and just keep talking. You will be amazed at the number of people willing to help you in your area. Someone mentioned to me that they needed a bed for their daughter and I had a bed and frankly was glad to get it out of my sewing room. The mattress was brandnew!!

I believe in the good in people and that they want to see other's succeed. You are going to succeed and in my eyes you are already a success. You have overcome some big obstacles.

The past is the past and you have a great future ahead of you!

I finally did make a post on my freecyle, maybe I can get some needed things which would be nice. I won't know until I try.

warmer weather will be here soon and my bills will go down so I can start saving for things and get an EF again.

Where abouts are you in Michigan? If you aren't too far away, I could get some things (bed,dresser) donated to you...(no junk, nice things!)

I'm by Traverse City so I imagine you'd be far away. Thanks for being so kind.

mmy2grls~ carefully inspect any matresses you do recieve along the edges for brown or black specks.. this could warn you that there are bed bugs in the bed. These little buggers are spreading through the US.

Oh and also check around at some discount stores .. we have a magic mart here and the beds for a matress, box springs, and a metal frame were under $200 with tax for either a twin or full. Thats what we got Joe's mom and she has back issues and says that the matress feels heavenly on her back.

I do not know what your area looks like, but around here there are always yard sales during the summer. So definately check them out for furnature.. expecially after mid day when people are getting more despirate to sell so that they do not have to move everything back inside. You can really get good deals on larger items in the afternoons... not to mention great deals on childrens clothing.

If you have a "rich snobby" section of town AKA where all the Dr's and lawyers live (*lol* i know my bad).. check and see when large trash pick up day is for them...so that you can drive through the evening before and check for furnature. I know that there is a rich section in our town and they put out practically brand spanking new items on the curb. There are people around here that go pick up those items and resell them to make a profit.

Free cycle is one other source.. if your free cycle isn't up to par then also check with different churches in the area, often they have consignment or yard sales where they sell larger items ( sometimes they are even nice enough to deliver *G*)... also check at Thrift stores... i know that there are a few in town here that sell furnature talk to some of the people at the thrift store get to be friends with them and ask if they will call if such and such items show up and are nice. Sometimes they will .. saves on gas * nods*

None of us starts out the day thinking," I think I will make bad choices today" LOL We all do the best we can do, with what we have, when we can. I think it is great that you are working to improve your situation and to make your life as you want it to be. Everyday will get better and better. Hang in there and just do the best you can!
I will keep good thoughts for you!

I'm glad you're feeling better and that you got that new coat. Hang in there--you're a great mom and you're doing a great job. Freecycle is a great place to find furniture, I hope you're able to get what you need soon.:hugz:


--Michelle

When i was starting over again ... Because my ex trashed or took almost everything .. some of my stuff had been in storage then the fees were not paid so it was sold off ( lost stuffed animals my great grandmother had made for me when i was little... that was the most upsetting loss expecially since i had begged to go get the stuff before the time was up on it.. it was my stuff so it wasn't important )..some was at his moms ( never saw any of that stuff ). Months and months after we had seperated my Ex got into my house with a copy of a key he had had made ( after telling the land lady he was no longer living there ) and kept calling my cell phone from my home number while i was out delivering newspapers(my second job to make ends meet) telling me he wanted me to come home and wanted the car ect. Basically trying to make my life a living hell... If Joe hadn't been there for me he would have mentally screwed me up.. Joe i had known for years before i even knew my ex and once me and my ex finally seperated by him moving out after 3 months of my ex fighting it. My ex thought that the town we were living in was his town and if we weren't together i had no right to live there so i should have my mom come get me and he sould get the car ( a peice of crap started with a screw driver freebie that had been sitting in a building that had FALLEN ON IT which had been given to us in my name for free by his dad) and get the trailer we were living in even though he had no job to pay for any bills or insurance and i was working and paying for everything. Yet he always had the money to get alchohol, either by conning his mom or stealing from my wallet. I ended up living in a roach motel for 2 weeks before finding a place to move into.

My mom brought the car that was mine ( in her name though that she hadn't let me keep i had paid for it )so i had a way to get to and from work. Instead of paying people ( friends greedy BF $10 every time) to get there. My ex had stolen my car 2 X and then it suddenly having mechanical problems when i filed for a Domestic abuse restraining order ..he had asked for it in a Domestic Abuse Restrainment hearing for exchange of leaving me alone. Of course i said HECK YEAH..he inserted his foot in his mouth when he demanded the judge have me sign over the title then and there... Oh my she yelled at him... :crackup::ponder: because it was a hearing for my protection not for him to get property from me.

Needless to say i really lucked out and found a nice trailer ( 2br1ba) in a nice quiet area. When moving in i had luckily salvaged my matress, box springs, wooden frame my grandfather had made me, a tv/vcr combo, a Tv stand, some of my clothes, every canned good and non parishable item i could find, and 3 cast iron skillets through a few duck and grab situations that cost me $200 because of a friend's greedy Boyfriend ( She didn't know how much he had asked to be paid til i told her.. nor that i had paid him.. she thought i still owned them money). Since it was during christmas i hit the black friday and got a TON of great cheap deals.. since my mom had sent a little extra money to help out and i had gotten my check, and the landlord had let me pay less in deposit then he originally told me it would be ( just saying merry christmas). I was able to get a baking sheet, a plate setting for 4, a pan set (a cheap one ), wooden spoons, silver ware, knifes, coffee pot, and a card table that had 4 chairs. While out getting groceries Joe scored a large freezer for $75... we only had $125 to our names at the time but we got it.

For several months we lived like that an ity bity card table for a kitchen table, a bed, dresser, night stand, tv stand, tv, and freezer the only furnature in the house. Then we finally went to a rent a place in town ( man do i not recomend them .. anymore a lot of furnature places are doing lease to own programs and are cheaper !!) and got a living room set which included a recliner couch thing, 2 end tables, 2 lamps, and a coffee table for $112 (with fees and taxes and the extended warrentee) for 12 months ( which we JUST finished paying it off this month *G*).

My mom brought down my old computer table... Joe and i found an awsome deal on a new computer for $150 ( we had a monitor ).

When i found out that i was pregnant we ended up hitting a consignment sale at a church and bought most of the larger items we needed crib, car seat, bassenet, clothes, a couple soft books, ect for $95.

My mom came to visit with my grandmother and they brought my mom's old kitchen table .. it was to big for just her and she didn't want it. And she brought 2 chairs for it.

Joe and i moved to a larger trailer(3br2ba) down the road.. for a little extra rent... same deposit although it then changed to a matinance fee AKA we will not get it back. There was a couch in the place when we moved in. And we bought a twin sized bed for Joe's mom here just reciently.

We have no children yet *rubs my tummy* ... just me and Joe's money.. He is disabled and i was working out of the house. Plus my mom helped me out a LOT when times were at their worst AKA when i was living in a hotel and when she brought me some of my stuff and stuff she didn't want.

I guess what i am trying to let you know is that it is hard for everyone... you have just you and the responsability for 2 children so it may take a little longer to get everything straight.. but look at where you are how far you have come. You got out of the bad relationship!! You have been able to keep your children close to you... you can laugh and play and keep you and your loved ones healthy. Then your doing Extremely well!!

Sometimes thinking of it like a puzzle may help. If the kids like "camping" in the living room, let them do so and don't worry about mattresses. I have a 20 year old who STILL likes to do that.
Also, I've spent a lot of my life in a mode I think of as "putting one foot in fron of the other" - in other words, just keeping on going and eventually you've gotten to a different position and things have improved - possibly so slowly that you didn't realize that they were doing so. Of course, it does make a difference that you are headed in a good direction.
If it helps to know that you have company, my life often seems to be a series of setbacks - in my case usually physical ones. The best I can do is just keep on going, and try to learn whatever might be learned (like don't look up when you're going down stairs most recently). And I make a point of trying to think of something that I enjoyed at the end of each day - it helps me sleep happier!

I did place an ad on freecyle the other day asking for a decent, clean mattress


A lady emailed me back and asked what I need one for. I told her I would like a mattress to sleep on since I have to sleep on the floor while my kids share a bed. We emailed back and forth for awhile.
This lady was so kind and her and her husband brought me over a nice queen size headboard with mattresses, a matching dresser thats like 5 feet long with a mirror, her husband even put it together. A nice looking coffee table, a box of cookware, many things I can use, a blender, some wooden shelves to put on walls, and while they were here the husband mentioned the ice that has formed on my porch. I couldn't get the ice off and he managed to chip the ice off my porch so we wouldn't slip and slide on it anymore.
The lady said they had this stuff in their basement and was happy to bring it to me so they can clean their basement.

It's going to be so nice to be able to sleep in a bed and not wake up with a sore back

They sound live very kind, caring people helping a very deserving, hard working mom!! So glad you have a bed to sleep in and all the other wonderful things.

They sound like very kind, caring people helping a very deserving, hard working mom!! So glad you have a bed to sleep in and all the other wonderful things.



Sorry I can't figure out how to edit my post. I ment LIKE not live.

Wow, what awesome people they are......I guess the prayers had been heard and they were sent to you. It sounds like they gave the furniture to a well deserving family and I wish you the best!

God bless the goodness in people.

I remember years ago when I was in college and had no money, not even to eat. I went to the food pantry and they were very kind to me. I was able to make it through the last six months of school and have been working ever since. Now I make it a point to donate whenever and where ever I can.

I know it doesn't seem like it now but you will get to that point. You will donate with gratitude because you know what it is like to be at the receiving end.

In my humble opinion that in itself is a blessing. We all have a time in our lives when we need a helping hand. It's a blessing to give as well as receive.

I'm so happy for you. Thank goodness for wonderful people. :)


--Michelle

I just wanted to say I think you've done a great job getting your kids into a better situation. Eight and a half years ago I was seven months pregnant with my oldest, her father's mother kicked me out of her house over the phone while she was out of province on vacation, with one day notice to get out. I had literally nothing. The very little money I had been getting I'd been giving to her for rent. Fast forward to now, she's eight and a half and I still don't feel like I have much..heck, I haven't even managed to put the money aside yet for my license and a car. But the entire time she's been fed, warm and there has never been any fear of someone just deciding on a whim that we couldn't live in our place anymore, so I think I've done okay. And I think you've done better than okay considering the situations you got yourself out of were way worse than what I had to deal with.

Someone else may have mentioned this, but do you have a freecycle in your area? You can do a search for freecycle and the main site will have the listings for all of the local chapters. I've received some really fantastic items I needed on there that I would have had to wait a really long time for if I had to buy them.

I did get a bed. My body feels so great now that I get to sleep in a bed instead of the floor. I didn't realize how bad my body hurt from sleeping on the floor for years until I got to sleep in a bed for a few days.

I'm satisified with what we have now. Sure I want some things but they are wants. We have been using my daughters little princess tv to watch tv on and I found out my parents are planning on buying a new big screen tv and giving us their old one. That is going to be a nice luxury and freebie!