Lunch Invitation (almost Panic Attack)
by, 01-22-2011 at 07:13 AM (671 Views)
Today I get a lunch invitation from a friend. I was not sleeping well last night and was not feeling well plus the weather is windy here.
Since I haven't seen my friend (let's call her D) for a long time, I agree to meet her without considering my condition (my mistake) and also want to purchase some cheap cosmetics because they have a dollar store at that mall, I wasn't fit enough and was depressed. When I took the taxi cab, BF was on the phone and I was telling him that I was depressed but insisted to meet D. BF told me to be brave and strong and fight this condition, because it's the only way. Life must go on. I agree with him. He also told me to go home asap and call him anytime I feel emergency. So I know he's always there stand by on the phone, it make me feel somewhat calm.
I kept burping (upset stomach) and it was windy so I wear warm clothes. I arrive at the mall where we want to eat and it was very crowded! People everywhere. It was very noisy and wherever I go, I kept bumping into people. D waited for me and when we met, we went to a Dimsum corner to order small baskets of dumplings.
As we begin small talk, I felt my throat tightening and heart racing. The dimsum was served and I couldn't bring myself to eat at all, I was so tensed. I told D about my anxiety (she knew) and that I am feeling a panic attack about to blow. She kept calming me down and I feel my throat relaxing again. I took an enzyme tablet for digestion and take small bites of the dumpling. Slowly the tension is decreasing.
After the lunch we went to the shops and I purchased some cosmetics that are already finished (hitpan). I bought a compact powder and mascara. Suddenly I realize more people are coming in the mall and wherever I go, I keep bumping into people and kids. I felt so uneasy and decided to go home.
Forgot the Cosmetics
When I am home, I realize that I forgot to pick up the cosmetics from the shop (already paid). I have the bills with me. I was so angry with myself. I will ask my friend to do that for me because he always commute to that area.
Being tensed and anxious made me forget simple things.I am glad that BF and D were very supportive and they both offered to take the cosmetics for me.
I am so sad and angry at myself I want to cry. I am on the edge financially. I have to sell stuff so I can pay insurance & pay my internet. Please wish me luck. Perhaps my anxiety is also caused/contributed by the financial situation I am in. I am really hoping that I can sell something quick this week.