melanies

Three years since I have joined and am I any more frugal? Not really.

I was looking at my two blog posts where I can see what I have in my traincase, and its a lot of the same things I had back then! I purged a lot, but I still have some of the same stuff (in a new-ish traincase) and I think it may be time to let go of it and just keep some of my more recent purchases that I actually use.

Just to be transparently honest, I think that my spending is related to much deeper issues. I use it to avoid things a lot. I sometimes will shop in order to fill a void, or distract myself. Shopping should be about filling needs and maybe some occasional wants, but not about my conspicuous consumerism.

I just finished watching a movie on Netflix called Affluenza. I think it was made sometime in maybe the early 1990s (?) but they talk about consumerism and also about the Voluntary Simplicity movement back then.

I'm 50 now, and I think my spending is a little worse because I am going through a mid-life crisis of sorts. Whatever the reason, I need to stop.

Fortunately, I'm good at reselling a lot of the things that I buy on eBay, so I recoup some of the money, but it doesn't address the actual problem.

Theres this strange "rush" that I get when I buy something I want and I have the thing (whatever it is) and enjoy it for awhile, and then I want that spending rush again.

I suspect that there are others out there like me, so I partly wanted to share my experiences and feelings to let you guys know that you are not alone. I've been struggling with this for YEARS. I go through periods where I do much better, and part of the reason that I joined this site was to stay focused. I need to keep coming back. I love so many of the ideas that I read here and just reading about peoples lives. Most everyone is so supportive of each other. Additionally, I need the help!

If I can beat this, I know I can be of support to others.

Anyway, for those of you that will read this, thanks so much for taking the time to do so.