Travelling on the frugal path to Freedom

I have a 15yo boy. I would say as a whole he's not to bad. But he has me on ignore. He will be asked to do something, and say "yes mom" and walk right past me. Or it "after ____________ is done". He will even go to dh to see if dh has something for him to do before completing what I have asked him to do. And it's really p!ssing me off!

He also is defiant with me, and ... not sure what the word is. This morning we had a blow up. I had some fruit loops, just a little box, that I brought home from camping for the youngest. She is going to school not eating. (whole other story here), so at this point anything in her tummy is better than nothing, we are working on it. So I here ds pouring them. He KNOWS that he's not to have them he was told(he's a sugar addict I swear), So I tell him no, he says he just wants a few, his bowl is 3/4 full. I tell him no, he knows he's not to have it. So he grumbles and puts it back in the box. I start up the stairs, and instincts told me no, wait. So he's quiet, he's not pouring the cereal he can have(I get all the kinds he asks for except high sugar ones, I don't any of the kids to have them), he's listening for me. About a minute passes, and he pours another cereal, then I hear the other box open and I peek around the corner and he has the fruit loops. I ask him what does he think he's doing? He gets all mad at me.

So I have my shower come back down, and he's still pouting. I look at him and he's glaring. I said that he and dad JUST had a talk about trust, and earning it back, how is blatantly disobeying me 2 minutes after being told no, earning that trust?

He goes on a rant that he never ever gets anything good. These was frosted flakes that he ate the WHOLE box in 4 days on his own, last week. THe girls never got any, if they did it was 1 bowl. I told him that oh, poor kid, a second rate citizen who never gets ANYTHING he wants. No mp3, no games consoles, no movies. no stereo. I told him point blank that this attitude had to stop. That he was gettign NO allowance or treats from me as he doesn't respect me. When asked to do chores, he does it shoddy, doesn't do it or hides it to make it look done. I told him he was fired and I'm not paying him a dime. He could go to dad.

I also told him, or reminded him, that dad has said if he can't get his carp together, he was out when he turns 18. I told him that I have NEVER supported that, but the way things have been lately, I'm leaning that way too. He slammed the door and left.

Now I feel like sh!t. I don't know how to get him to be respectful. I asked him to weed a 4x4 raised bed. With a shovel as he was instructed, it would have been a 15 minute job. Know what he did? He took dirt from one bed and buried the weeds!

I don't know what to do with him. I'm in tears cause of him so often. I just can't reach him.

He is good at school, he's not into drugs, he's not shop lifting.

But lately I can't stand to have him around. He stresses me out so bad, it's not even funny.