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Thread: Can You Believe This?
11-12-2008, 11:12 PM #1
Can You Believe This?
I am fuming!!!!
Battling With Teachers Is Never Fun
So, my son brings home his report card yesterday. For the first time in his life he is terrified to show it to me. He hands it to me and the pleading look on his face as he says "Please, mom, let me explain before you look" just hits me in the heart. OK, now I know something is wrong.....
My son has Asperger's Syndrome. He also has many co-morbid issues associated with this. Asperger's Syndrome is on the Autism spectrum, sometimes called "The Freaks and Geeks Syndrome". Think Bill Gates, Einstein, etc. One of his major issues is Executive Dysfunction. Basically the part of the brain that controls stuff like orgainization, short term memory, and the like works in a hit or miss fashion. Pair this with an IQ of 169 and let the fun begin!
Well, he had a C in Language Arts. Now I have seen all of his test, projects, and papers. He has always performed in the high A range, so what the heck is the C for??????
Apparently last week, he had a paper due that needed to be e-mailed to the teacher. He worked on it for over 2 hours and I personally e-mailed it to the teacher. SHe told him she did not get it. When he assured her that I had e-mailed it, she told him she would double check. Thaqt was the last he heard of it. So, naturally, he assumes she found the e-mail. NOPE! ANd, knowing his issues, knowing he insisted I e-mailed it, knowing his IEP REQUIRES her to inform us of any missing assignments, does she contact me? Of course not!
Soooooooo not cool! I spoke with the Special Ed leader for his grade who is in every class with my son. This man says no way is this kid missing any work, you should have been contacted. And he will talk to her. So, tonight I get a pretty catty reply stating that if we can produce the paper (uh, yeah it's in my Sent folder!) she will accept it-good of her (heavy sarcasm there), but will have to check with admin to see if they will let her change his grade.
Obviously she thinks I am dumb, right? I mean, I have an IEP that I fought 4 years for, I provide ALL teachers with my e-mail address at the very beginning of the year, I have the original e-mail showing this was sent the day it needed to be.....and you will check? Um, yeah.
This is so not gonna be fun. I don;t think she understands that she is legally bound to adhere to this IEP. Well, I really do not think she wants to test this with me. I have done my homework too.
Anyone else deal with this kind of ludacris behavior from a teacher? How would you deal with this? I have refused to sign the Report Card, and also added a CC to the response I sent her tonight so the Asst Principal and Special Ed leader get a copy of this correspondence.
- 11-12-2008, 11:32 PM #2
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Yeah, I have had problems like yours also. I fought like He!! at those IEP meetings along with my advocate but let me tell you, the more I fought with them the more they took it out on my kid! Finally, I fussed so much that I've had her moved out of regular school and in a separate district school for special needs. It has been SOOO much easier. I don't know what your options are but I would be doing exactly what you are doing now. You have to keep on them to stick to the IEP even if the teacher has to tape it to her desk to refer to. The schools know they can get away with almost anything and we as parents have little recourse, so it's best to try and play nice with them, all the while keeping incidents like this one documented and verified. Email makes that all the easier as they can be used in court if you should ever have to go that far.
Anyhow, I would be as well. My kid went a whole semester in a reading class and had not read ONE book in that class. They waited until the marking period was up (9 weeks) to let me know she was failing reading! (Of ALL things! She scored as a high school student reading level while in 5th grade!)
Can you tell I am still HOT about it? Good Luck! You have to be your child's best advocate because no one else will if you don't.
11-12-2008, 11:45 PM #3
I can understand why you are upset. If possible through your mail provider, I would send all future e-mails to her with a 'read receipt'.
11-13-2008, 12:38 AM #4
11-13-2008, 12:52 AM #5
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Go right to the top and report her actions to the department heads at the BOE. She needs to be put in her place.
11-13-2008, 07:39 AM #6
Sometimes you just get "those" teachers. When my son was in 5th grade, one of the students had his gameboy stolen. Well I had come to help for the party and took my son home early with me so no way he had it, plus he already had the newer version anyway so why would he want it. But I talked to the teacher, thought it was over until my son came home one day devestated because she had been treating him like a thief for over a week and that day had checked his backpack. Well I flipped, I called the principal and let him have it and he told me he thought maybe my son was over reacting. Bull, since he took the teachers side basically I went over both their heads and went to the schoold district head. We had a meeting and although the teacher left there crying, she apologized to my son in front of the class (since she had checked his backpack in front of the class). Needless to say, one of the kids finally fessed up to seeing who had taken the gameboy and saw him throw it out the bus window on the way home from school that day. I don't think my son ever felt so gratified.
So sorry for the long story it's been 3 years and I'm still mad at that woman, but the point is go over her head. It puts her on notice that you will not tolerate unfairness and puts her superiors on notice that you are watching and not afraid to make a fuss.
Oh just as a side note after that incident that teacher just adored my son even had him come down daily the next year to help her with her aquarium. The loudest wheel does get the oil sometimes.
11-13-2008, 08:59 AM #7
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I have never been in your situation, so please keep in mind that my advice is not truly based off someone who has been in your shoes. But it is based off that mama bear instinct.
If I were you, I would ask for a conference with a prinicipal, your spec. ed leader, and this teacher. Print off every piece of correspondence and have the IEP with you. Lay out every single thing. Do the whole "Here is the sent item dated blah blah,". Then I would point out this latest bit of correspondence from her and then say in conjunction with his IEP, you were required to take the following steps--which you did not do. Then I would lay out the consequences of not following that, whatever they may be. Then get sickly sweet and say, "I'm sure you just didn't know you were breaking the law by not following his IEP, which was provided to you on (insert date here). I'd hate to see your professional career or the reputation of this school suffer because of your ignorance."McD
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11-13-2008, 09:53 AM #8
Thank you everyone. I know I am not overreacting, but sometimes it does feel that way.
I did receive an e-mail back from her just full of appologies..... We'll see how this turns out.
11-13-2008, 01:22 PM #9
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I like the idea of requesting a meeting and then laying it all out. That is so nice and evil. I love it!
Hats off to you about being so proactive with your son's issues.Beak-1996, Toad-1998, and Q-1998
House payments left: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
11-13-2008, 01:44 PM #10
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You do have to be your own chid's advocate. I got tired of battling our school system on my daughter's IEP (for ADD, pervasice language disorder and auditory processing disorder), and finally just pulled her to homeschool her. Sometimes you just get one of "those" teachers who "forget" about the IEP instructions for a child, or really, don't care enough to take the time to commit to them. Don't get me wrong, there are some wonderful teachers out there, some of whom could realistically be so bogged down in work that things like this slip their mind, but unfortunately, there are those that just don't care. I'm sorry that you had such a bad experience.Starlight
mama to: dd (15) and ds (10) and a surprise on the way!!
married to DH for 17 years
11-13-2008, 09:59 PM #11
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No advice, just . It always makes me mad to see unfair things happening like this, especially where children are concerned. Best of luck with the situation!Heather- Wife to my DH BJ
"Never, never, never give up!" ~Winston Churchill
12-08-2008, 10:35 AM #12
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I understand the desire to defend your child, but please think about this from the teacher's perspective. How often does she have to deal with over-bearing parents who will make any excuse in the book when their children don't do their homework? How many times has she been disrespected by out-of-control parents who fail to see that perhaps their little Johnny was in the wrong? How many times has she received phone calls at home -- on her personal time -- from irate, irrational parents? How often is she required to "parent" kids whose parents are unavailable or unwilling to be involved with their child's welfare? And how underpaid and overworked is she every day?
The best avenue would be for you to say to her very politely, "I truly appreciate everything you do for my son. I know that you are going in a million directions every day, and I don't think that I would have the patience to do your job. Regarding the lost assignment, it probably was just a computer glitch but I would be happy to resend the paper to you as well as provide you a hard copy, if that helps. If there is anything I can do to make this system more efficient in the future, please let me know."
12-22-2008, 05:57 AM #13