Setting in to Panic Mode - long

**Lady_V** · 02-18-2011, 06:53 PM

The teacher pulled me aside today to tell me that they don't know if they can take Diva next year. because they don't have enough staff available to help her because she needs more educational help than they can offer. This school has the smallest student:teacher ratio available.

She is already being pulled out of class as much as possible and it still isn't enough. To quote the teacher "At the end of this year, she still won't be at a 4th grade level. Even if we do keep her for 5th, you are going to have to home-school her for 6th just to get her caught up because she will be so behind". She went on and say that Diva NEEDS that one-on-one and to not put her in public because they will not be able to help her, there isn't a private school that can dedicate that much time to one student and if I don't home-school her, she will have to be put in a school for severely learning and physically disabled students.

I went back to talk to the Outlaws... HE said he will just get her a tutor for over the summer. Great, a 1 on 1 encounter for 8 weeks which isn't enough time to catch up a YEARS worth of classes, and then dump her back in to the big pool to let her drown from Sept - June, then went on and on about how she won't be able to go to Harvard. Rinse and Repeat.

When I told them I will be researching schools and if I can find one we will move to wherever so she can go. There are even programs at community colleges for students of severe learning disabilities.

SHE said "Well, what will you do with the condo"?

I looked at her with disbelief. "Fix it up and sell it. It's only property, we're talking about my daughter. She is more important than where we live. OldMan and I will get a one bedroom trailer and sleep on the roof if it is near a school that can help her".

Not being able to go to Harvard and property... they have a skewed set of priorities. It got 'better' when I talked to the ex about it "what about friends, she's an only child".

As if I kept her locked in the closet after lessons when I home schooled her! She had all afternoon to go out and play because she had no homework. Each subject had it's own dedicated hour and SHE EXCELLED! From Dec - March not only did I get her caught up in 3rd grade, but finished the rest of the curriculum. In March we only put her in the private school because we were finished and it was a breeze for her because it was a REVIEW of everything I had taught her.

Diva made a comment out of frustration to the teacher today... "I don't know why I am having a hard time with multiplication. Momma taught it to me and I KNEW IT. I know I knew it, and I use to be good at it".

I have a meeting with the school when report cards come out in 2 weeks. If they decide they can't/won't keep her next year, I need to figure out what we will do -- and don the battle gear if it means fighting with the Outlaws again to home school again...

It took 2.5 years to get them to agree to it the first time, I don't have that luxury... I barely have 5 months to prepare, gather, submit.

**NikoSan999** · 02-18-2011, 08:09 PM

Why is it their decision? Why is it up to them?

**MissSeetonFan** · 02-18-2011, 08:29 PM

I agree. I think you should have the primary say. You have the experience of last time to back you up as well. If they really push it, show them exactly how well it went last time along with the quotes from the teachers.

**Lady_V** · 02-18-2011, 08:30 PM

My ex is a puppet and they pull his strings. He has to agree in order for me to do it.

**Dancing Lotus** · 02-18-2011, 08:33 PM

The outlaws should have no say anymore more then my in law would. This is strictly between MOM and DAD. However I suspect this is a case of Father won't consent to anything his mommy doesn't approve of?

**Lady_V** · 02-18-2011, 08:37 PM

Yup. That's always been the way.

If I want to do something, I have to get them to agree otherwise it means having to go to court and have the judge decide.

Luckily, it's never gotten that far, but there have been more than a few times it came that close.

Not to get off-topic, but he collects a paycheck from them for sitting there and staying awake most of the time, lives in their second house rent free, they pay all his utilities, health insurance and basically anything else he wants... you'd think he was a spoiled teen and not the 45-in-July father he really is. He has NO desire to go against the wishes of his parents.

**Ceashels** · 02-18-2011, 08:45 PM

Can you get a copy of the school grades for the time before you home schooled and when she returned to private school. It might help your position to have the school's support in this decision in black and white so the ex and outlaws can see the situation more clearly.

**Lady_V** · 02-18-2011, 08:47 PM

That's a good idea! I will search for the last report card from the old school.

**Nishu** · 02-18-2011, 08:49 PM

Why don't you invite said female outlaw to a parent/teacher conference with the school? Just tell her that you respect her opinion and that the school is trying to talk you into homeschooling, "...but I'd really like to know what you think." *wink wink*

**Ramona** · 02-18-2011, 09:52 PM

Originally Posted by Ceashels

Can you get a copy of the school grades for the time before you home schooled and when she returned to private school. It might help your position to have the school's support in this decision in black and white so the ex and outlaws can see the situation more clearly.

Excellent idea, Ceashels.

Lady_V, would the school put in writing what they said to you today?

And I second Nishu's suggestion of bringing outlaw woman

to a conference at the school. She'll be flattered out of her tiny little mind to be included.

P.S. Turn on the waterworks, if it helps.

**MomToTwoBoys** · 02-18-2011, 10:26 PM

Originally Posted by Lady_V

Yup. That's always been the way.

If I want to do something, I have to get them to agree otherwise it means having to go to court and have the judge decide.

Luckily, it's never gotten that far, but there have been more than a few times it came that close.

Not to get off-topic, but he collects a paycheck from them for sitting there and staying awake most of the time, lives in their second house rent free, they pay all his utilities, health insurance and basically anything else he wants... you'd think he was a spoiled teen and not the 45-in-July father he really is. He has NO desire to go against the wishes of his parents.

Any judge in his or her right mind is going to do what's best for the child. He/she isn't going to go ahead and do what's best for the Outlaws or the ex, and if they do, then they really need their license to practice revoked.

I think you need to do what is best for Diva. If you're willing to do what it takes, but your Ex and Outlaws are only doing what they feel is best, then I think that you have all of the right in the world to make sure that Diva is getting what's really needed in order to excel.

**mom2three** · 02-19-2011, 11:25 AM

Lady_V

Have you read "Is this your child?" by Doris Rapp?

Has your daughter's diet changed at the school from when you homeschooled her?

Could there be something she's reacting to at the school that leads to her losing focus?

My oldest daughter -very smart-couldn't add with sulfites in her diet-had both behaviour and learning issues.

My middle daughter has attention/focus/learning issues if I'm not careful. The last bit they were due to trying a new toothpaste she reacted to. She is celiac and intolerant of many other foods.

My hubby can actually write properly now without mixing up his words -the difference is a gluten free diet.

Talk to the MIL one on one. See is you can make her part of the learning/homeschooling experience. Just some thoughts.

Amanda