What would you do?

[homesteadmamma]

I'd love to have your thoughts on the following.

Ds#1 is 16 and autistic, albeit high functioning autistic. He can read well, does exceptionally well with school work and is quite mature for his age. He is also at the age of getting a driver's license.

Although very responsible, he loves speed. He is always wanting us to go just a bit faster. If he plays a computer game, it has to be programs like "need for speed" and such. He is also a follower and would probably take a drink if offered.

My question is......Do we work at him getting a driver's license or do we wait a few more years. He has not asked to get one yet, but has mentioned that he is 16 and can drive at 16.

What would you do?

[voodidit]

Wow, this is going to ba a hard one. I don't think I can offer any help with this one because my first instinct would be to never let him behind the wheel but sooner or later he is probablly going to ask about it. GOod luck with whatever you decide to do.

[Heather]

Originally posted by karlisangel
CJ~

Why don't you wait until he asks and then start him out slowly. As he matures and becomes more responsible perhaps you can consider getting him a learner's permit. Can he drive with you and Bob in the car for practice. Perhaps you can explain to him that a car is not a toy and that speed is not acceptible.
I think your a great mom and you know your child best. And I believe you will know when and if he is responsible enough to drive. I think at 16 all boys feel the need for speed, as do some girls..

As to the drinking...that is a tougher one. Has he shown an interest in alcohol...around anyone who drinks...any alcoholism in his family?

Yeah....that!

Kids and speed.....it's looks so cool and fun but can do so much damage can't it?

CJ, is there a driver's education course near where you live? There are some wonderful teachers out there who tell the kid's like it is and like Carolyn said....speed is not acceptable. It may give him (when it's time) an idea (from someone other than Mom and Dad about the seriousness of having a licence, the penalties if rules are broken and that it is a priviledge to drive a vehicle.

There is a boy around here who got caught drinking and driving plus speeding and his licence is gone for three years...it sure is making some of the other boys think.

Good luck on your decision!

[Dixie]

I'm probably the odd one out here, but with his 'need for speed', I would definitely wait, until at least age 17. My youngest ds is 16.5 and still has his learner's permit, for that very reason.

[dolphin]

I also say ask him to wait till he is 17 or even almost 18.

Ds got his learners permit and had it for 1 year. We couldn't afford the extra insurance and another vehicle so we made him wait. Here in Nevada they are covered under your insurance while they have a learners permit for free. As soon as they get their drivers license they have to be added to your policy. It is very expensive.

What ever you decide you just have to really go with your gut feeling. Ds did great with the learners permit but 3 weeks after he got his license, he backed into a car in a parking lot and then took off and was really scared cause he realized what he had done later. He was already 17 and he knew he should have stopped and given the person information. They just don't think at that age. I say make him wait as long as you possibly can no matter if he has disabilities or not. JMO

[Dixie]

Dolphin, ITA. It's the same way here in GA. To add ds, it will cost $150 a month, but he will get a 10% good student discount and 10% for Driver's Ed. That's still *way* too much for insurance,imo. He's a good kid who has never given us a minute's trouble, but I've had to ask him to slow down several times. That scares me!

[Julia Kimber]

Originally posted by Dixie
I'm probably the odd one out here, but with his 'need for speed', I would definitely wait, until at least age 17. My youngest ds is 16.5 and still has his learner's permit, for that very reason.

Julia

[Jerseygirl]

Will he be his own legal guardian upon adulthood? If you would challenge his self guardianship or self financial guardianship, then my answer would be not to even consider letting him drive.
If you don't plan on contesting his self guardianship, meaning he will have the right to get it and probably immediately will, then I would start a very slow and deliberate training program with him.

[Katybird]

CJ, you have great instincts and intution. I say just go with your instincts.