A manager at work...

**Twinkle** · 08-15-2008, 10:50 AM

called me to his office to discuss a mistake I had made. Instead of actually going into the office, he discussed my mistake outside of his office (where the Department he runs workers are situated in an open space). I tried to "steer" him into his office but he wouldn't budge. He didn't yell at me or anything but I thought this was a private issue and he has a loud voice. I'm very shy and was mortified. I know there's a way I could have handled it better. You guys always have great suggestions so lets have'em!

Thanks!

**cissylu** · 08-15-2008, 11:52 AM

First off he is a first class jerk. that conversation should have been done in his office.
I`m not sure that you could have done anything different.
This guy is on a power trip ! hr knew exactly what he was doing .
He was using you as an example to show everyone what could happen to them if they made a mistake.
boss`s like him have to have there ego fix of showing who boss is.
I had a boss just like that. she like to use her power.
so sorry you had to go thru this.
(((hug`s)))

**Darlene** · 08-15-2008, 11:54 AM

I'd just ask "Can we talk about this in your office?"
Sorry you got talked to like that. No fun.

**DJ1972** · 08-15-2008, 11:57 AM

I would have politely asked, "Can we go into your office and discuss this?" It may have made him get even louder, because it sounds like he wanted others to hear, but I still would have asked. He handled it in a very unprofessional manner.

**MerMcE** · 08-15-2008, 12:06 PM

Next time, yes, I would say "do you mind if we discuss this in your office?" and then walk in there. I know it may not have been possible this time (with where he was standing or if he never paused while talking).

As an HR Manager, I would say to briefly say something to the HR department. Doesn't have to be a formal complaint or anything, just a quick "Hey I wanted to let you know that XXX was discussing a mistake I made in front of my coworkers and it really made me feel uncomfortable. I know he probably didn't realize it at the time. Would you mind saying something to him?"

As the HR Manager of our company I DO NOT want managers doing stuff like that. So I would want to know if it was happening.

Hope that helps!

**Greebo** · 08-15-2008, 12:39 PM

I would not go to the HR manager or the manager's boss UNTIL you discussed the issue with the manager him or herself first.

Always work the "chain of command".

Go to the manager and say, "The other day, you reprimanded in a public place me over a mistake I had made. I'm not taking issue with the reprimand, but I feel that the choice of location was inappropriate, and I was very embarrassed by where the discussion was held. I'd very much appreciate it if, in future, any necessary discussions like this could be held in your office, with the door shut. Would that be ok with you?"

**Russ** · 08-15-2008, 12:45 PM

Originally Posted by MerMcE

Next time, yes, I would say "do you mind if we discuss this in your office?" and then walk in there. I know it may not have been possible this time (with where he was standing or if he never paused while talking).

As an HR Manager, I would say to briefly say something to the HR department. Doesn't have to be a formal complaint or anything, just a quick "Hey I wanted to let you know that XXX was discussing a mistake I made in front of my coworkers and it really made me feel uncomfortable. I know he probably didn't realize it at the time. Would you mind saying something to him?"
As the HR Manager of our company I DO NOT want managers doing stuff like that. So I would want to know if it was happening.

Hope that helps!

And he will know right away who went to HR on him. Then, like it or not that relationship is shot. Human nature to dislike a "snitch" which I would bet is how he would percieve her.

**angrypuppy** · 08-15-2008, 01:28 PM

Devils advocate. Maybe he wanted a witness. In this age of indiscrimate lawsuites for sexual harasment, maybe he was just trying to protect himself. It should have been done in his office with only one other pressent. Maybe you could use that as the none threating conversation starter with the boss.

" I understand you had in issue with my performance, and may have wanted a witness while we talked. Next time I would feel more comfortable with only one other person present in your office."

I never have a "talk" with somebody at work without at someone else present.

As anaside, it is company policy not to let children into the cockpit unless their are two company people on the flight deck as well. That rule unfortunatley came about from a false lawsuit/story. Use your imagination. People are a mess.

**Gabe** · 08-15-2008, 02:12 PM

Reassure him that you believe his intentions were good but that you would prefer to discuss these type of situation in his office in the future.

Perception is reality in the work place.

Maybe ask your boss what type of personality he is.
Briggs test

And see what type of personality you are. This will allow you to adjust to his management style and personality.

Unfortunately poor managers are found at several employers. Understanding how they think and react to issues might help you better react to the situation by adjusting yourself.

Even if you let him know how you feel, the only thing you have control over is how you react or feel towards the situation. Understanding this will help you cope with any kind of manager.

Does you employer have a code of conduct?

**Gabe** · 08-15-2008, 02:18 PM

I wanted to add also...

Explain to him that you might have had questions regarding the mistake and did not want to look like you were questioning his authority in front of others.

-This will demonstrate that you have concern for him and that you respect his authority.

Showing concern for him and how he looks towards others might score you some points in getting your point across.

Hope this helps.

**angrypuppy** · 08-15-2008, 05:38 PM

Briggs test = ENTJ

**Gabe** · 08-15-2008, 07:01 PM

INTJ here.

Mastermind

**missmanny** · 08-16-2008, 01:42 AM

Ugh, you poor thing - this is very insensitive to you and I would have been embarrassed too.

Just take it in your stride, everyone makes mistakes, I know I do.

If it ever happns agin, I would definately interrupt him and ask if you could discuss it in his office.

**Edna_E** · 08-16-2008, 09:50 AM

I'm sorry you had that happen. It seems like there's an epidemic of that kind of behavior going around. 3 other people I know have complained of it within this last week. On the positive side for you, knowing that you handled yourself well may make you a little less shy about such things in the future. I am not, but I don't like the rudeness and tend to meet it with some of my own along the line of "Gee, I'm sorry I didn't realize that I was doing that wrong and certainly wouldn't have wanted you to get your knickers in such a wad!" Then when the milling crowd starts sniggerring at the one who couldn't bother with a discreet location, they know how it feels. Seriously, it is almost impossible to embarrass me - a trait that has its uses.