Should we consider this job?

[Cares]

DH went for an interview this morning for an apprenticeship. He said it seemed to go well, and also seems like a good opportunity, but there's a "But".

This is not the big "but", but we'd be taking a $3/hour paycut for the first year, and it goes up $3/hour for the length of the 3 year apprenticeship. By the end he'll be making $4-5 more per hour than what he's making now.

Now this is the big "but" for us. He would have to work midnight shift. And he'd be working it for a long time because the switch to dayshift goes by seniority of course, and when there's an opening. So many years of midnight shift.

We have a 2 year old DS, and are planning on adding another child to the family soon (we're starting to try next month, no ifs ands or buts). Right now DH and DS have one full day together, just the two of them, plus weekends are family time. Workdays DH and DS have about 2 hours together if DH is home early enough (sometimes DH doesn't see DS at all if he's working late).
With the apprenticeship they'll have about 3 hours a day together. But DS and I (and the baby when s/he arrives!) will be home alone at nights and I don't like that at all. Our closest family is 45 minutes away, and we only have a couple as friends here in town (and they have 2 LO's themselves).

What do you all think? Opinions/advice please!

Is this a take 'er or a leave 'er??! AH!

Thank you in advance!

[Inkstain82]

Has he ever worked a midnight shift before? There's a significant drag on your quality of life and health. Some people handle it relatively easily, and it absolutely kills others.

[MissSeetonFan]

Wow! That is a big decision. I don't have an answer for you but something to consider would be: How easy would it be for you to keep your 2yo (or 3 or 4yo by the end) and the baby quiet so that daddy could sleep after work in the morning or before work in the afternoon? Is your house big enough to let them run and scream and play while your husband is able to have the quiet needed for sleep?

[Cares]

He's never worked night shift before.

our house is small. 1000sq ft. We use ear plugs when we want to take turns sleeping in. I don't hear a thing, but they don't work as well for him.

[craftypam]

My dh and ds work that shift and both of them hate it and do not get enough sleep because I have read our bodies are just not used to sleeping that way.
I do think the rest sounds like a wonderful opportunity for your family (meaning ds learning a skill and eventually better pay). If you know anybody who works this shift have your dh talk to them so he/you can decide if this is something he can handle.

[dcompton]

Any change in sleeping patterns will take a significant amount of time to adjust to. I'm one of the ones that loves late shifts. As it is now, I get off at 11:00, but by choice usually don't go to bed until 3:30 or even 4. However, recently I had to fill in for a coworker on her day shift for 6 weeks - 7:30 to 4. It almost killed me. Six weeks wasn't nearly long enough to adjust to it.

So if he takes it, don't expect the transition to be easy. I find shifting to later hours is easier than to earlier, but that may just be my own reactions. I have the advantage too of not having others in the house when I am trying to sleep. He will be able to do it, but it will take a toll, at least for some time.

[ruderring]

My DH did it for 14 years. Took a great toll on our family. He couldn't ever get to sleep until around 11am and then would sleep until about 8:30 or 9:00 pm. He missed out on our children's lives a lot. Couldn't get out of bed because he was so tired. He recently changed jobs and is now very happy and can help out with our granddaughter. IMO family time is so much more important. I was basically a single mom for those 14 years. Our daughters friends didn't even know she had a dad for the better part of her school life. Now our son is in HS and he is able to go to games and meets so much more easily. Just a thought of someone who started out much like you. If you need more info I would more than willingly chat with you about it.

[pollypurebred39]

Seems to me the bottom line is deciding which one of the two of you are you're willing to have less of in your life.

Less of your husband and family time (and a temporary drop in pay) OR Less money and job security in the future.

If you are willing to bite the bullet and learn to live on less, and continuing to learn to live on less and less as the cost of living increases though the years, but find contentment in family and togetherness then don't take the job.

If you are willing to give up family time for now and the foreseeable future to have the security of an income that meets your needs and maybe exceeds, and are willing to find other ways to help you and yours feel safe and secure while DH's is at work, then take the job.

I could tell you what my family would do, but what we would do is not going to help you. It's certainly not cut and dried, it all comes down to what you are willing to have less of in your lives. I wish you and your family the best in these times.

[Squidge]

Seems to me the bottom line is deciding which one of the two of you are you're willing to have less of in your life.

Less of your husband and family time (and a temporary drop in pay) OR Less money and job security in the future.

If you are willing to bite the bullet and learn to live on less, and continuing to learn to live on less and less as the cost of living increases though the years, but find contentment in family and togetherness then don't take the job.

If you are willing to give up family time for now and the foreseeable future to have the security of an income that meets your needs and maybe exceeds, and are willing to find other ways to help you and yours feel safe and secure while DH's is at work, then take the job.

I could tell you what my family would do, but what we would do is not going to help you. It's certainly not cut and dried, it all comes down to what you are willing to have less of in your lives. I wish you and your family the best in these times.

I couldn't agree more. I think that you and your DH are best placed to decide what's right for your family and figuring out your priorities is a really good start.

I don't have any experience with night-shift work unfortunately, so I can't give you any information about the consequences of it. I hope you get all the information you need to make your choice. Best of luck to you with this.

[MsMarieH]

Much of it depends on your husband and how well he adjusts to the schedule. For some families, this can be a great option - they have the afterschool/evenings together and don't incur child care costs. So really, it depends.

[Cares]

Thank you so much for all of your help!

DH and I had a chat last night. We decided taht we'll wait to see if they offer the position. If they offer midnights, he will kindly tell tehm "no, I can't do midnights with my family." They seem desperate to hire and the interviewer said that he believes it will be midnights, but he could see if he could change that (but it's union, so not very likely). So if they offer a better shift, we will think about it then. We feel good with that decision, and just hope that they are able to offer a good shift that will still allow for family time and a normal life! If not, other opportunities will arise at some point (hear that universe? haha)

Thanks again!

[Squidge]

That sounds like a smart move. Keep us updated anyhow, Cares

[mommy4ever]

I know this is a few months old, but for any one else looking at possible shift work.

Dh did it for a few years, we had 3 kids at the time. He didn't love it, but we made it work.

What worked for us, is to plan it so that the end of shift is more like the end of his day rather than starting his day at midnight. Doing this means he is ready to go to bed sooner after he gets home. Dh was able to see ds off to school every morning, something he has never been able to do since. Then he went to bed during what would be regular work hours, about 8-4. He'd be up and showered by the time ds got off the bus, spend the evening with the family, tucked everyone in, dh and I spent some time together, then I went to bed, often snuggled with him until I fell asleep, then he went to work.

With 2 toddlers, in the house, sleeping during the day took some doing, but, earplugs plus a fan running seemed to do the trick. He didn't lose any family time, it just was planned so he started his day with us instead of rushing to work first thing. We had family time.

It wasn't ideal, but it worked and things got moved around and now he is strictly days.

[mek42]

If you stay at home and your son is 2, could all of you go to a third shift schedule for more family time? If you try this and it works, maybe you could consider homeschooling to preserve the family schedule.

Didn't notice the date of the thread OP until after posting. What did you decide to do?