I am working again and I am having a heck of a time

coupqn1999 · 09-15-2004, 12:25 AM

Yep started working full time almost 2 months ago and have seen a serious change in DS 1 behavior. He used to be so sweet,helpful and 100% respectful to me but now.......he is down right nasty with me and he informed me today that if I stopped working maybe he'd be nicer to me

I couldn't believe it!! I explained that I am working the better of all of us but he just resents me for it. What do I do? How do I handle this?HELP ME PLEASEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Michele Annette · 09-15-2004, 09:11 AM

Denise

I wish I had some advice for you! I wish you the best and hope your son feels better about you working soon. Do you think maybe he's testing you to get his way? I guess it's natural for some kids to have a harder time with new adjustments. Hopefully he will come around in time!

Darlene · 09-15-2004, 09:24 AM

Anyway you could swing part-time? Not condoning his being nasty (he did get your attention with that) but it sounds like he misses you and needs you.

This is for you, it's not easy stuff.

kimmee · 09-15-2004, 10:37 AM

Nine is a hard adjustment time - they are "on the cusp" of being a little boy and a new independent big boy. Can you some how empower him since he's the oldest - make him "incharge" of bedroom duties or dinner decider or a key to the house in case you are late, etc. Let him know that you are all important to providing a good family life where you can afford things and give back to the community!! If he feels as though he is evolving into a new family role he will become more excited about it - its attention that he needs anyway. He just needs to adjust and he will but he's at the flippy floppy emotional age - Yes I have a nine year old too - but he's the baby.

PrairieRose · 09-15-2004, 10:41 AM

I never worked full time when my kids were young so I don't have any advice here Denise.....just wanted to offer you a

I hope you get it worked out to where you can all cope.......

guest2 · 09-15-2004, 11:49 AM

Denise

You know something, it does not matter how young or old our kids are...they all have a hard time adjusting to Mom going back to work. Please try and find some "special time" to spend with each of your children so that they do not feel so "lost" without you. My teens are going through "mom withdrawal" and come down to the library to see me during work hours.

Katybird · 09-15-2004, 02:40 PM

I am sorry that your DS is having trouble adjusting to your working. I don't have any other advice than what the other ladies have given but I just wanted to send you a hug and let you know that it will get better. My kids had trouble adjusting to my working when I started but eventually after they got into the routine of my working things did get better.

cau · 09-15-2004, 03:29 PM

Hang in there, i went back to work when my kids were 12, 10, and 7. My 12 & 10 year olds had a hard time not having me available for everything. I was always available to go on field trips and working their rooms and they DID NOT like it when I was not available. I just kept telling them I needed to add to the family and needed their help. I also managed to have few treats Like pizza on Fridays or going out for breakfast , things we could not afford before I worked. I set up a rotation of going with me to shop and run errands so each one got mom time. QWe all survived and they are close now that they are grown. cau