Making New Friends

ssn01 · 02-20-2005, 12:02 PM

The reason I place this under the Working Women forum is that I work... some... not full time.

But with a rough sketch of my schedule (work 30+ hrs a week, school/hw 12 hrs a week, sleeping whenever that happens! lol, cleaning the house about 3 hrs a day, cooking & cleaning up after all meals (avg of 2 a day), then spending time w/child after his school...)

where's my time to make friends?

I dont have any anymore. This past month I lost the closest 2 - they moved outta state. Seems like any friends I make end up moving.

My hobbies

i dont recall what I did before. I have a couple projects that have been on-going for months (a couple up to a year!). If I dont have time for those... where would I find time to make friends?

!!So here's my connundrum. With all the time I spend working, cleaning, schooling, playing mom & gf...
HOW do I make new friends?!!

I've looked into bookclubs, but the good ones are during the wkends & I'm expected to keep my wkends open - "just in case".
The ones in the evenings would interrupt cleaning & cooking time.
But when would I find the time to read in order to participate fully???

Okay, so what about a health club... i EEK in 40 min of exercise a day (yoga)... sometimes right before bed, sometimes during work, sometimes while I'm cooking dinner I'll pull out in an Asana (position) in the middle of the kitchen floor!

I used to live at coffee shops & made many friends... many yrs ago. I can't do that now. besides, that wouldnt be frugal of me... and they dont allow you to bring in your own cup o'joe!

So I guess... this is about what are hobbies & where are friends???

HELP

**Mom23boys** · 02-20-2005, 03:17 PM

Sue!

I don't seem to have time to make new friends except here at the Village. Offline my co-workers are my friends and the children that my boys are friends with, some of their parents are my friends. My closest friend used to be my babysitter for Dakota. We have always remained friends and sometimes go to craft shows together and out to lunch. We can stay on the phone for hours talking about nothing really.

Maybe you should look around your college campus. There has to be people who are also interested in what you are interested in...maybe in the same class with you. What about in your neighborhood? Do you ever see anyone walking for exercise? Maybe you could ask to join them.

You always have all of us here at the Village.

ssn01 · 02-20-2005, 03:32 PM

Unfortunately, I'm one of the very few females in my field at the college.
the cowrkers i have as friends are just that.... friends at work. no one to really go out with.

i make friends w/males very easily. but none want to hear what women "vent" about.

many of the women that i am around are 20 or more years my senior. very little in common there.

where I live.. you'd think is a retirement community!!! very few kids.

I love this place truly like a friend... i can vent & complain & such... but as I'm sure you're all aware... it's not really the same.

I cant take you out to a coffee shop, laugh & then stop by a thrift shop WITH you.

(and no i'm not getting a PDA w/wireless capability!!!)

**Chea** · 02-20-2005, 03:42 PM

Well when you figure out the secret...please let me know.

I too used to have a HUGE social life. I knew VIP people, went to clubs in limos, went from club to afterhours club.....(VERY UNFRUGAL LIFE)
Now I'm married....so that VETOS the male friend deal. Most of my friends I totally lost the bond with when I married (their choice not mine), my ds is older so my acquintances with younger kids I don't have all that much in common with. I try to hang onto the few threads of social life that I have but its a battle. So I venture onto the boards and eak in a few threads of an attempt at a social life.

**janey** · 03-19-2005, 03:01 PM

I know how you feel. When I was a SAHM I had lots of "playgroup" mom-friends. We did a lot together, always with our kids.

Now I work two p/t jobs plus contract work. I'm an older mom and that doesn't help - most women my age don't need to count little kids into their plans.

My old "playgroup" friends socialize when I can't and potential "working" friends don't have the same little-kid considerations I do.

**Michele Annette** · 03-20-2005, 09:03 AM

Sue , I totally understand where you're coming from! When DH and I first got married we moved from our childhood hometown to Vermont where we didn't know a single soul. One thing I can say is that you will find friends.

I joined the gym and have met some very nice people. I now see them all over my community and it feels great to have those kind of connections. And usually, you know you meet one friend and they introduce you to their's . I know it's hard to be patient. It took me about three years to get a good friend here, but it was worth the wait!

**mfedor** · 04-13-2005, 03:10 PM

I joined the local Women' Club in my town. A very diverse group of women. I am a full time working mom with three small children so I am either in worker mode or mom mode. The women's club is awesome!!! They only meet once a month but have different activities so I was able to pick a choose what I wanted to do. I always try and go to the meetings just because it gives me a sense of community and the fact that I now feel like I know so many more people then before. Check your area for something like this.