UPDATE~ SORT OF! I'm so undecided~!

**nodmicks** · 09-18-2005, 01:24 PM

I've been debating going to work full time. I currently work thur -fri 9.-2:30 and ever other sat 9-3 as a stylist driving 30 miles 1 way. I make ok $ for a pt job.

I'm feeling very under apprected at work though my clients of course always make me feel happy ! I throughly enjoy doing their hair. My boss and 1 coworker I don't enjoy. There is big big favoritism issue. I'm the longest standing staff member that hasn't ever quit and comeback, rearranged my schedule massively for a new job etc. I so rarely call in or even take my 2 weeks vacation. In a word I am dependable! I don't air my dirty laundry at work, cry about finances, my sex life or ever bash on Dh. I'm genereally busy with my own clientel. However when I'm not the boss doesn't split up new clients and gives them all to her favorite ( who has quit 2 x btw!) and leaves any one else not busy sitting on their butts. Her excuse is I don't need the $$$$$$$$$$$$. Excuse me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! How does she know? Because I'm not a single parent and don't cry poor ( which I wouldn't even if I was ~ this isn't meant to know any single parents btw!) She recently needed few thurs off and gave all 7 of her reg clients to the one sytlist instead of splitting them up. Then on a thur the one stylist couldnt do them all (has a previous perm booked) they put another girl on the book to come in while I was wide open. I've done quite a few of these clients many times!. One even asked for me and was told no~ so and so had to do it. I was just about ready to walk off fri but decided that was very very unfair to my clients who have been faithful 8-15 yrs. I haven't told a soul at work how furious I am.

Dh works a variable schedule working the same weekends I do. He starts work between 11pm and 3 am and returns home anywhere between 1-5:30 pm. There is no rhyme or reason to it. He knows a day ahead of time where he goes.

Our kids are 9 and 12 . In apr they will be 10 and 13.

We get by just fine on my pt income and Dh's fulltime inc. Were not in the lap of luxury but a-ok! Through frugality@!

I'm looking and working 11pm to 7 am at our local factory. Pay is 12.50 per hr and benefits are unbelievable.

The reasons for taking it are. ~ paying off debt faster, retirement benefits. and getting the desperately needed remodeling/work on the house done.

However I am worried about my quality of family life. I have done 99% of shopping, cleaning etc for ever and Dh is a bit of a slob in that dept. Which is fine because I have been home!

Also once I quit doing hair to try this there is the problem of losing my clients so its very very hard to go back.

I 'll also need to hire someone to sleep at the house from when Dh leaves for work (between 11pm and 2pm).

I'm so undecided! Any advice?

I just wanted to add also that in the last 2 yrs the girls I work with (some I've ben with 15 yrs) have also gotten divorced and kinda wild to put it mildly. I also quit doing things with these longtime coworkers as I'm a happily amarried lady and have no desire to be out in bars alot or chasing men. For many years we did lots of family things as a group. So now I'm out of the loop that way. Another local job where I actually live would be an opurtunity to meet new people.

**SCDowney** · 09-18-2005, 02:22 PM

I'm sorry to hear that your workplace is so negative! It sounds like you are really fed-up and ready to move on.
What would it cost you to have someone stay the night with the kids? I hope that cost won't wipe out much earnings!
Could you do hair out of your home? Go to people who are shut-in?

**Mom23boys** · 09-18-2005, 02:34 PM

Have you tried to talk to your boss and tell her privately how you feel?

Would having someone come in at night be worth working full time?

Do you have family close by that could stay with them or can they stay over with family at thier house?

It sounds like you are miserable where you are because of the work atmosphere. It is hard to work in an unfriendly environment and it isn't good on your health either. I hope whatever you decide is the right choice for you and your family.

Good luck with your decision.

**forestdale** · 09-18-2005, 03:37 PM

There are a lot of things to think about with your situation. Do you want to stay where you are? If you do, then I'd talk to your employer and tell her how your feel and that you'd like to have your fair share of the clients.

If you don't want to stay there, I'd look around for someone reliable and trustworthy to care for your kids at night. What would they charge? That would be the decider for me. If I couldn't find someone I trusted, I wouldn't leave my kids alone at night.

You also have to work out a reasonable sleeping routine for yourself. Can you maintain a family when both you and your DH work at night? I think it would be tough to work all this out, but that doesn't mean it's not doable. it just means you'll need to be really organised and your kids will have to understand why you're doing it.

I also like the work from home option that sheila suggested. Is that a possibility?

**nodmicks** · 09-18-2005, 03:57 PM

Originally posted by SCDowney
I'm sorry to hear that your workplace is so negative! It sounds like you are really fed-up and ready to move on.
What would it cost you to have someone stay the night with the kids? I hope that cost won't wipe out much earnings!
Could you do hair out of your home? Go to people who are shut-in?

I'm not at all sure about the cost of someone to stay with the kids. Most everyone I know that works PMs leaves their kids alone. Even though my kids will be 13 and 10 in the spring I feel wouldn't feel safe doing that.

WI cosmetology association basically makes it impossible or illegal to do hair outside a liscensed establishment.. Doing out of my home could be a ?able option. My town is around 1000 people. There are 5 shops already. One of my competitors would be 2 friends. I have told those friends if they expand and need another stylist to let me know though! The town I work in is about 65000 people.

I really appreciate your insight!

**nodmicks** · 09-18-2005, 04:06 PM

Originally posted by Mom23boys

Have you tried to talk to your boss and tell her privately how you feel?

Would having someone come in at night be worth working full time?

Do you have family close by that could stay with them or can they stay over with family at thier house?

It sounds like you are miserable where you are because of the work atmosphere. It is hard to work in an unfriendly environment and it isn't good on your health either. I hope whatever you decide is the right choice for you and your family.

Good luck with your decision.

I haven't tried talking to the boss since she last told me " it must be nice to not have to work!" and that so in so should get more of any new clients because I didn't need $". I tried to explain to her that it was unfair to penalize me because I do have a good client base!

All family is 30 miles away so the kiddos staying with family isn't an option. I really need to carefully weigh all this out! Dh is rather opposed to a FT job but says he wont say no.

**nodmicks** · 09-18-2005, 04:19 PM

Originally posted by forestdale
There are a lot of things to think about with your situation. Do you want to stay where you are? If you do, then I'd talk to your employer and tell her how your feel and that you'd like to have your fair share of the clients.

If you don't want to stay there, I'd look around for someone reliable and trustworthy to care for your kids at night. What would they charge? That would be the decider for me. If I couldn't find someone I trusted, I wouldn't leave my kids alone at night.

You also have to work out a reasonable sleeping routine for yourself. Can you maintain a family when both you and your DH work at night? I think it would be tough to work all this out, but that doesn't mean it's not doable. it just means you'll need to be really organised and your kids will have to understand why you're doing it.

I also like the work from home option that sheila suggested. Is that a possibility?

I 'm not really sure if I want to stay. I need to try to impress again on the boss to divvy up new clients fairly. I'm being penalized for having my own clients. I don't want to imply I have no clients. For example say on a sat I am all booked but 1 hour and 7 new clients call in. Instead of giving me 1-2 to fill up that hour I have open she will give all 7 to the other stylist. It's not my fault that girl quit 2 x and lost her client base! My boss is very eccentric. I went to work for her years ago knowing this because she guaranteed I could work my selected schedule and would understand my kids came first and if they were ill I would be with them (this had happened 3 x in 8 yrs). I will try next week to talk to her again. She has a bad habit of feling attacked and spouting off bizare hateful acusations though. There has only been 1 other time I've gotten very angry at her and I did end up yelling.

I've never worked Pm's so I'm not sure on the faily schedule thing. Dh is always in bed right after supper.

I've also always had Grandma (who lives in the town I work in) babysit. I've always been scared to death to have a stranger to be honest. We do have child care center in town that a few ladiesI know from volunteering in school work at. I'll call on the cost.

I've always put my kids/Dh's schedules first and worked around that so I'm really in unchartered territory.

**nodmicks** · 09-23-2005, 09:20 PM

I just wanted to tell you all the suprise I got at work. Last week I had written about how the boss gave all 7 of her clients to one stylist to do and I was mad. Well I was off for 5 days. Imagine my suprise when I went in and saw most of those clients booked with me. It was the clients preference I guess!!
I wont see the boss for a few weeks now but do plan to talk to her

:

**SCDowney** · 09-24-2005, 12:54 AM

That's great Michelle, and good luck when you talk to your boss. It sounds like our bosses are similar; I feel for you!

**Telephus44** · 09-28-2005, 08:57 PM

Just reading this thread, it seems like you've kind of out-grown this job. You seem to have a good idea of what changes and what stays the same (through people leaving and coming back). Especially your comments about your co-workers getting divorced and changing their lifestyle which is no longer in-sync with yours. It also seems like when you started it was more important to you to have the flexibility and hours you wanted to be able to spend time with your kids, whereas now you're looking for more opportunity. I don't know if I really have any advice to offer, but I couldn't help thinking that you had just outgrown your job and you now have a different outlook and goals than when you started 15 years ago, and you need to assess if/how they fit into your current job.

**nodmicks** · 09-29-2005, 08:14 PM

Thanks for taking the time to reply to this. It is likely possible at this particular place.
I seriously do like the creative and peple interaction of what I do and I will say I'm great at it. I think your likely right in the place but not my actual profession. Does that make sense?
The last 5 x I've worked I've been too seriously swamped with clients to hit the restroom even. You know what? These were 5 days that I really enjoyed work. The difference was I had no real interaction with certain coworkers. My clients and I were in our own little creative world.
Upon further reflection I don't really think I could handle a factory for long on the production end. I'm too used to having every day be different.
Guess what though this gives me insight but I'm still up in the air .