If you didn't have to work...

**pammy** · 09-21-2005, 06:25 PM

... would you? Let me explain my situation. I've been out of school for over a year now. I'm working in the field I went to school for, hospital-based. My DH couldn't give one lick about whether I'm employed or not. Truthfully, he'd prefer I don't work where I do. My job is about an hour from where we live. It all seemed so perfect at first. I was employed in a hospital in the town I live in, as a 'PRN', part-timer. Ie... crappy shifts, calls at 9pm to work the night shift that night, lazy co-workers, just about every weekend was tied up... etc. So anyways, I got a lead on this job about an hour where I live. It was set days during the week, I'd drive down, work, sleep there being on call, work half the next day and drive back home. I'd do that twice a week, no working weekends. All is well, right?

Okay, it's been over 4 months. And I HATE the atmosphere! It's a tiny rural hospital and I mainly work with just one other person, my boss. Small quarters, too. The problem is this: I'm too nice! I'm an over-worker. Since I do more than my share without being asked it's just assumed that I will always do it, and I do. I'm now doing more work that my boss, the supposed director of the department. Her job duties just seem to get 'shifted' to me. So anyways, there's that. The other is the person herself. If you can imagine (and I'm sure everyone knows this type of person) the most self-centered person you've ever met, combined with narcissism, and a total oblivion to anyone else's needs than you've just met my boss. The type that you try to say something and it gets interrupted to turn the story on herself. Did I mention she's single and I get to hear every last single detail about a stupid date or conversation. I've hinted until I'm blue in the face that I'm not the least bit interested in her personal life, to no effect. Can you imagine listening for what seems like hours, and sometimes is, about someone's love life? When you couldn't care in the least. Of course, I'm the nice person, remember? So I sit there and take it, meanwhile screaming inside "I REALLY JUST DON'T CARE!".

I did, however, manage to get the schedule moved around so I'm cut down to driving there once a week, having really only to put up with her a day and half a week. Still I can almost not bear it!

So anyways, to make a long story short (sorry for the venting, lol) we are financially able for me to afford quitting that job. However, with me working there it gives us almost $1500 extra a month to put towards paying debts, which I'm all about!! So I'm sitting at either A). I don't need to work and we are able to pay our bills, or B). I put up with misery to be able to pay off debts faster.

My question is.... which one would you choose??

pammyboat

**SewCrafty** · 09-21-2005, 07:59 PM

Pammy, I do know your boss, I had the same one a few years ago.

Look at it logically:

With gas prices just going up and up, you would really save there by not working an hour away. You would be home more, hence less spending while you are out. More home cooked meals, which is cheaper. And lastly you are not HAPPY!!! Remember, we only get one shot at this life and being miserable is not the way to live it in my opinion.

While having that extra to put on your debt is great, weigh the pros and cons for you and your hubby and see if it is really worth it. I'm betting you can find something closer to home maybe in a clinic or doctor's office or what about being on call with an insurance company? I can call my ins. company at any time and get a nurse to talk to about procedures etc.... I don't think they work in an office. Something to look into anyway...

Lastly, do what makes you Happy and best of luck with the decisions you have to make.

**forestdale** · 09-21-2005, 08:58 PM

I agree with Dee, "do what makes you happy".

I'm all for working for a living but driving a long way from home to listen to someone talk about their love life is more than I could cope with. If finaces aren't a particular problem at the moment, I'd resign and look for another job closer to home, and one where you look forward to your days at work.

**bamamomto4** · 09-21-2005, 09:32 PM

Only you know what is best for your family. Is there any place closer you could work? There is nothing worse than working somewhere that makes you unhappy

**pammy** · 09-22-2005, 06:42 AM

Thanks all for the replies!! I agree totally, no sense being miserable, no job worth that!

Weighed pro's and con's heavily, my favorite pasttime lately, lol. Got worked out to being able to get rid of big car payment and paying off motorhome around Christmas, which unties around a grand a month in payments. When that happens our debts are reduced to owing just my student loan and our mortgage. I can handle that and will have no problem quitting. That proverbial 'light at the end of the tunnel' is just so close, ya know? So, hopefully I can bite my tongue and just hold out til January. Having a goal hopefully will make it easier to swallow. Tell myself "less than 4 months, less than 4 months". Hehe... new mantra!

Then again.......... if I can't take it I could go postal and tell her to stick it up her rump!

Go radical with frugality. Hey, I love challenges!! I work in radiology, jobs in my town are scarce, unfortunately. If I gave this job up it may be a long while before something opens up for me.

I should look at it another way: when I give up this job my NEW job will be saving money!! It takes hard work and effort. I'll have time and motive.

Thanks again for the replies!

pammyboat

**Darlene** · 09-22-2005, 08:11 AM

Life is too short, I'd find another job closer to home. Sure the extra money is nice but your paying a hefty price in gas, your relationship with your sweetie and your mental health.
Buh bye annoying boss and stress.

**sixfreds** · 09-23-2005, 09:39 AM

I would do a job you love if you don't have to work and hate your job I would say leave it but if you have a job you love and makes you happy you hvae to continue doing it.

Eileen

**Telephus44** · 09-28-2005, 08:48 PM

I agree that I wouldn't stay in a job with a boss that I hated - which is mostly why I quit my job about 5 weeks ago and am now 3 weeks into a new job with a much better work atmosphere. Even though DH makes enough that I could stay home, I keep working for two reasons: 1. Reach our financial goals sooner (we want to buy a house and start a family) and 2. I love what I do! Even in my last job I loved my job, just not my company. I don't know what type of job openings you have in your field/geographic area, but if you actually like your work I wouldn't let someone else ruin your whole career.

**canadian gardener** · 09-30-2005, 12:47 PM

go with your heart. Why wait till January? How is January really going to change things.

We save an incredible amount of money by only running one vehicle, and me staying home.

Not to mention the environment.

Take the year off as a sabbatical if you can, and let the icky boss deal with her own self created messes. With any luck she will self destruct in a year or two and you can sail back in style especially if you do any upgrading that comes available or work for vacation relief just to keep your hand in.

**pammy** · 10-03-2005, 04:27 PM

Well, I had my fill today. Dreaded it all weekend, went to work anyways. Same stuff, different day. I took it til about lunch and then quit. But before I did I let her know that I'm sick of hearing about her personal life, it should stay personal. I left a very long detailed letter to the administrator about why I was quitting, in case he was interested. I let him know the hours spent online looking at the personal ads for men. I let him know most of the work she was turning in as hers was done by me. I let him know that I was tired of gaging her mood to see what kind of day I would have, good or bad. I also let him know that personal life was brought to work and shared, OMG was it ever! I felt like I was working there as her convenience and it wasn't professional. He got an eyeful. When I called hubby afterwards his first reply was "Woohooo!!!".

Oh yeah, I was stopped by two different people just last week and was told that no one can stand the woman and all felt sorry for me. I didn't feel so bad after that, like maybe they'd understand if I quit.

So anyways, thanks all for the advise. You all are right, no money is worth being miserable. I'll still work on my goals, might take me a bit longer, but still attainable. Of course, I'll keep coming here to read and save even more. Thanks again

**canadian gardener** · 10-03-2005, 04:39 PM

I'm kinda betting that a few days after the admistrator has had a chance to check out your letter about your boss (and perhaps a few fun filled moments dealing with her instability) that he or she will fire her sorry behind, and then come crying and screaming and begging you to come back.

If not, you are well out of it anyway, and more power to you in your new life. It has got to be better than what you've been thru.

Normal sane people don't stay and get treated like that. They get out while their resume and their contacts and references are still intact.

Her "work" will speak for itself.

**dndylfe** · 10-03-2005, 05:56 PM

YEAH!!! I'm glad you quit! I was just going to add my two cents and say that you'd already quit in your head, so you might as well go all the way.

Have a fun time taking a breather from a hostile work environment!!!

**pammy** · 10-03-2005, 11:31 PM

Woohooo! The day just got better, I finally recieved my Tightwad Gazette, the complete version!

Already on page 109. And, my older sis is wanting to hire me for occasional cleaning of her motorhome sales. Not set hours, but extra income, non the less. Turning out to be a wonderful day!

LOL as a side not, I can report that ex-boss did leave a message on my phone, stating how it was 'unprofessional' of me to quit that way. And her constant man-talk was sooo professional.

Come on! Am glad to be rid of it!

*shoulders lighter, face brighter, let the new days begin!*