Do you feel guilty if you miss work?

**AmyMCGS** · 02-13-2006, 10:55 AM

I only work 15 hours a week-- typically, Tuesday & Thursday for six hours, and a short day on the weekend.

With the pregnancy complications I've had, I've now missed two whole weeks of work, and I doubt I'll make it in this week, either. (And I'm not asking for sympathy here-- I know I'm doing the right thing by staying home to take care of myself/the baby.)

In my absence, my boss takes over most of my duties. She's great to do that, I know. In addition to what she can do, there are residents to see, committee meetings, calendar updates, and a million other things that are only done by me. I can't help but worry about all of that while I'm supposed to be at home resting.

Does anyone else feel really guilty when you miss work?

**paelthom** · 02-13-2006, 11:02 AM

Yes I feel guilty even though I've worked here for years it bothers me. I have to miss a lot because of Ryan being sick and I hate to call and tell them. I work for 3 men who are married to SAHM and never have to worry about children being sick or appointments - plus all their kids are now grown. The other downside is that no one can do my job at work but me so when I miss it means double waiting for me when I get back. When I'm on vacation, the last day usually means I go into a panic thinking about what's on my desk waiting for me.

Hugs Amy. You are doing the right thing and I would be doing it as well.

**Michele Annette** · 02-13-2006, 11:05 AM

You shouldn't feel guilty Amy. I can understand how you may for personal reasons, but you are correct in thinking that you need to take care of you and your baby and I wouldn't stress about it too much. I hope you are doing better.

I feel guilty only if I have to take time off on a regular basis (once a week or a few times a month). For example if I take a vacation day last week and then call in sick (if I am truely sick) the following week. It doesn't happen very often, but sometimes these things are out of our hands.

**celina** · 02-13-2006, 11:05 AM

just a thought...maybe you'd feel less guilty if you temporarily resigned your position to take care of yourself...

with my first pregnancy i was sick, i mean, lost 30 lbs my first month pregnant and it wasnt slowing down till i went on diclectin...any how i was lucky cause in quebec, canada there is an insurance all employers have to pay into..so that if the employees pregnancy is threathened by working she stays home for the duration of her pregnancy at 90% pay, then gets her canadian maternity leave at 55% for 52weeks....

i was only making 7.25/hr but it was nice to be home and take care of myself.....

hang in there...

**FrugalMomof3** · 02-13-2006, 11:25 AM

Dont feel guilty, you have yourself and the baby to take care of.

I used to miss work 1 time a month just because I felt like it, and I wasn't pregnant, I just wanted to take off. I never felt guilty because I deserved that time.

~Tracy~

**tbs727** · 02-13-2006, 11:34 AM

I know how you feel Amy. I feel bad when I call in sick. I've missed a lot of days already this year because of a failed adoption and DH's dad passed away. In fact, I called in sick today because we have been traveling for the past two weekends. To top that off I've been fighting a cold. So, today I called in because I don't feel well, but I've actually been trying to get my house in order all morning. I'm trying not to feel guilty because I need some time to take care of things.

Try not to feel guilty, that baby and your body are the most important things you have and they should take priority over work. Take care and relax!

**FreesiaE** · 02-13-2006, 11:56 AM

Yes, yes, yes! Even if I have dr. appt I always try to make it back to work. I haven't called in in over 5 years. Even when there was a big ice storm, no power at home, I went in on that Monday; only 4 out of probably about 40 of us made it in; it was all of us younger gals. If I need time off, I ask for it. I've never taken a "mental health day". All in all, sick/vacation time, I probably take off a total of less than 2 weeks a year. At my old job, I left behind over 7 weeks of paid sick time before I left; lost all the $$$ it was worth and was not allowed to donate it. I look on it as a privledge to work and get paid and have health insurance. I know that I am expendable. I will be there.

**Nath.** · 02-13-2006, 11:58 AM

Originally posted by paelthom
Yes I feel guilty even though I've worked here for years it bothers me. I have to miss a lot because of Ryan being sick and I hate to call and tell them. I work for 3 men who are married to SAHM and never have to worry about children being sick or appointments - plus all their kids are now grown. The other downside is that no one can do my job at work but me so when I miss it means double waiting for me when I get back. When I'm on vacation, the last day usually means I go into a panic thinking about what's on my desk waiting for me.

Hugs Amy. You are doing the right thing and I would be doing it as well.

Are we twins?! Looks like we work for the same kind of peoples! I too, work in a men only environment. All their wives are SAHM. Every time I miss (and that is very rarely) I get comments

. Only time I miss is when my kids are sick...and again, mostly when my younger one (7) is sick. I never have miss a day in 10yrs for myself.
Today my oldest (11) is sick in bed and I am at work

...I had to beg to take 30min at noon to see how she is doing. I litterally hate this situation.

Nath.

**paelthom** · 02-13-2006, 12:24 PM

Yep Nath. we are twins but you are the good looking one. I will come to work sick as a dog rather than take a day for me because I know I need so many for Ryan. (Plus I'm usually hoping I pass the germs on to the bosses).

**Kimberlina** · 02-13-2006, 12:29 PM

Know how you feel, Amy. I only work q15 hours a week, too, and I can't stand to miss a day. I'd say I've called in maybe 5-6 times in the 5 years I've been at the hospital. I feel guilty about it when I actually think about calling in, and when I am actually on the phone doing it, but then I forget about it and concntrate on feeling better.

So many people I work with call in all the time- it is a big isssue at work right now. My supervisor keeps telling everyone that it isn't a staffing issue whrere I work- she schedules enough people, they just don't show up. But they aren't legitimately sick, KWIM? After the call is made, I don't worry about it anymore because I only call in when I really am sick (like you) and really need to stay home.

Take care!

**Nath.** · 02-13-2006, 01:35 PM

Originally posted by paelthom
Yep Nath. we are twins but you are the good looking one. I will come to work sick as a dog rather than take a day for me because I know I need so many for Ryan. (Plus I'm usually hoping I pass the germs on to the bosses).

LOL, not so good looking this morning. My girl has been puking all night and I got something like 3h sleep. Have a huge zit on my nose and a fever thingny on my upper lips, so I'll pass my turn this time out LMAO

I like the idea of passing the germs to the boss doh

hehehe *evil grin*

**cspp04** · 02-14-2006, 08:17 PM

in a society that places such importance on what we do, it is natural to feel guilty about missing work. i've learned the art of turning things around...simply put, i change how i think about a situation. instead of worrying about all that i am not doing, i focus on feeling confident that other people can do it and on being grateful that they are taking on the workload in my stead. you're looking after yourself! you're looking after your baby! you're looking after other things at the same time! that is something to be proud of, do not damper it with negative thoughts about what you COULD or SHOULD be doing. remind yourself about all that you ARE doing and ask yourself "what amount of effort could i guarantee in my condition compared to the person that has taken over in my stead?" i wish you well.....and lots of worry free rest!

Christine

**Telephus44** · 03-16-2006, 08:07 PM

For the most part, I don't, but for me it depends on the job and the reason. I will admit, I used to call out sometimes if there was a tough project on my desk or a deadline that was going to be missed and I'd call out so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Those days I would feel guilty.

With my current job (and my more mature attitude) I never do that. I only call out when I am sick. And I trust my co-workers to cover for me. So I don't feel guilty.

**prairie_girl** · 03-16-2006, 11:40 PM

I dont understand how people can really never be sick. I missed a TON of work my first six months on the job, since then, I've been really good. Missed a week in January, because of SEVERE bronchitis, and other than that, I'm off today (left at 7:30, shift's over at 10) because of food poisoning. (ick) but yes, I feel guilty.

**sunshine** · 03-17-2006, 12:03 AM

I work full time-- and had to call in 2 days this week, due to some major health issues I'm having. Both days I was scheduled for 12 hour night shifts--- I knew they didn't have a qualified nurse scheduled either of those nights without me. . .and I felt horrible. . . couple that with my boss calling me a few hours after I called in-- to see if I was feeling better and could come in later. UGH.

I understand what you are saying--- you are torn between knowing what you / your body needs and the needs of your workplace.