Question about ethics...

**Drgnfly423** · 07-27-2006, 12:57 AM

Well maybe not about ethics, but I'm wanting advice. I found out from a co-worker that my boss plans on "talking" to me about an issue when she returns to the office on Friday. This issue is my "attitude/behavior". A couple of other employees complained that I was "snippy" with them . I don't have a problem having this conversation, the co-workers that supposedly complained are problem employees that are frequently rude to other employees. I'm actually waiting to see exactly what they said about me.
What I have a problem with is my boss talkig about this problem with me to a co-worker, who isn't even involved in the situation. Should I talk to the General manager about this? I don't want to get my co-worker in "trouble" with our boss, but I have a real problem with being gossiped about.
Help!

**baxjul** · 07-27-2006, 06:54 AM

I would wait until you have the talk with your boss, then ask her/him why other co workers seem to know about this problem before you did.

**MandiDawn** · 07-27-2006, 09:08 AM

I would also mention that you got a heads up on the problem from said co-worker, and then inquire why they knew about it. But wait until after your boss has said her piece.

**Cele** · 07-27-2006, 09:18 AM

Yep, let the boss have her say, own any behavior that is indeed yours, and then ask about the communications chain.

What's up with the other rude employees? Why hasn't their behavior been called out?

**Drgnfly423** · 07-27-2006, 12:24 PM

Thanks everyone. After much thought, I think you all are right. I was super PO'd last night when I wrote the OP.

I will own my negative behavior. I actually started working on my "reactionary" attitude about a month ago. I know I can be snippy at times. Something I am working on everyday. I'm not like this at home or with my friends. In fact, some of my best friends used to be co-workers, so I know I'm not that bad.

This has made me realize that I just don't like my job anymore. I have been doing the same job for 7 years at different locations. (has anyone here worked for a car dealership, too?) I just don't like the "high-school" mentality. I think I could deal with it better when I first started because I was just out of high-school.

I don't know why the other employees get away with their behavior. Maybe they have been talked to, they just haven't changed. I am not the kind of person to point fingers, either. I don't like the whole "blame game" thing.

Thanks for letting me vent everyone! And thanks for the solid advice!

**Daisygirl** · 07-29-2006, 08:12 AM

Funny, I work for a car dealership too, and I just posted on another forum that I am considering quitting and babysitting from home. The automotive industry is full of unpleasant people. I got suspended for my "attitude" and have to go in today, and I am physically sick from the stress of it. I got 3 hours sleep and have vomiting and diarrea, my face is broken out, and I look like hell. My big mouth is what got me into trouble, however, the things I said were true, and if I have to be somewhere that my opinion means nothing, especially regarding profession ethics, I think it is the wrong place for me.

No matter how much money I am making, it is just no longer worth it. I can so relate with you right now!

**Drgnfly423** · 07-29-2006, 05:06 PM

OMG, Karen, I'm so glad that someone else knows how it is! It's so hard to not let what others say and do effect us. I can't believe you actually got suspended. It is such a horrible feeling to know that you are right but the situation will never change. Let us know what happens when you go in. I'll be thinking of you.

I have a funny update on all this though. My boss called me in her office yesterday, not to talk to me about my "attitude" but to make sure that I wansn't quitting. This is not a joke. She actually was kind of freaking out that I would quit because I'm unhappy. So I laid it out on the table and told her what I thought was wrong. So some problems have been resolved.

Then she told me that my office mate (it is only a 3 person office, counting the OM) was switching to the Business development center, which is a promotion for her (kind of). That's awesome for her, but I'll miss her. The office is in a separate building. So now we have to hire someone else, but I get to work whatever hours I want once this person is trained!

Then one of the rude employees was fired! She had a lot of other issues besides her rudeness and I guess the straw broke last week! I feel bad, I don't want anyone to lose their job, but it will be less stressfull for me.

What a crazy week it has been. So I'm hoping that things will be getting better. Still not perfect, but it's better.

**Daisygirl** · 07-30-2006, 07:04 AM

That's great Miranda! Sounds like a very productive meeting. It also sounds like whoever put the bug in your ear about your"attitude" might have some kind of ulterior motive, and that is why she stressed you out.

The car industry can be a great place to work. It is somewhere that you are rewarded for your performance and a big formal education is not necessary. It has been really good to me up until now, that is for sure. I will be looking for a new job in the industry immediately, as well as exploring some home business options.

Congrats again!

**Droppedonmyhead** · 07-30-2006, 10:00 AM

As a former supervisor of 23 employees, I can tell you that I would NEVER talk to an employee's co-workers about any action to be taken with an employee. The most I ever did was call in employees to find out their version of an incident, but that was all. They did all of the talking, not me.

What you've described is very inappropriate for a supervisor. When you go in, remain calm and sit in the most uncomfortable straight-back chair available. (The chair thing is because if the chair is too comfortable, you will be too relaxed and more prone to say things you shouldn't - just a little trick of the trade hint for you). No matter what is said, don't lose your temper. Be professional and calm and you will fare better. The one who gets upset will be less believable. Oh geez. . .I should write a book. . lol. Good Luck!!!

**sarahbmom** · 08-02-2006, 04:08 PM

Hi there...

I have found out that in most jobs, the management will overlook the ones who are working the least and pick on the ones who do the work. If you do nothing, there is not a thing to criticize you about. I know this sounds bad but its true! Generally the rules are made up as they go along to suit themselves! LOL

Lara