Going back to work p/t

**Cricket1** · 08-14-2006, 02:30 PM

Okay, yet again, I'm going back to work part time. I've done off and on part time jobs while I've been a mom and my last job ended in April. I have two boys that are 5 and 3 and I'll still be home during the day. I will be working two nights and one Saturday per week.

I'm going back to work for a few reasons:
1) My sanity--I really need some adult contact.
2) Extra money. 'Nuff said.
3) Dental insurance. My husband has NONE with his job and we really all go to the dentist a lot. Yes, more than just the two cleanings per year. I have extremely soft teeth and thus a filling in practically every tooth. My son also has a lot of dental issues. Last year, we spent approx. $3,000 + at the dentist.

Here's my issue--I was putting my three year old to bed last night and he said something about me not leaving. I explained that in a few weeks, mom would be at work sometimes. He said, "No!! Mama stay home. I wuv (love) mama home at night." Needless to say, this got to me. My youngest is practically attached to my hip. I really feel like he could benefit from some time with dad without me around. Suddenly, I feel torn and very selfish. Please tell me your honest opinions. Thanks!

**NoDebtMom** · 08-14-2006, 02:41 PM

It's tough, but I will say kids are resilient and adjust well. It's really not that much time away. And you are right, time alone with dad is great!! I used to work a couple of nights a week, and it really did work out ok. I could never do it FT. Don't feel selfish, you have very valid reasons.

**AmyBoz** · 08-14-2006, 02:50 PM

You don't have to feel selfish. Nowhere does it say that being a Mom means giving up your entire life. I work full-time during the year as a teacher and consider myself both a full-time Mom and a full-time teacher. I love my children so much it makes my heart ache. They love me and enjoy their time with me and with their Dad and with their friends at daycare. Are there days we'd all rather just be together? Sure. But, we make the most of the time we have together, and in the process, my children are learning important lessons about responsibility, making new friends and becoming independent of Mom, and are also seeing that Mom has a rich, full life that doesn't take away from her love for them one minutia. So, again, I say, don't feel guilty. Your kids are getting the best of both worlds.

**Cele** · 08-14-2006, 03:02 PM

Well said, Amy.

First off, remember that it's impossible to justify your choices to your children. They're too young to understand the importance of things like dental insurance...but it is important and you're doing something that will makes their little lives better in the long run.

I'll bet they fall into the new routine quickly. In fact, this might be one of those times where you make a point of being very matter-of-fact about the change...that will signal the kids that it's nothing to get all wound up about.

**AmyMCGS** · 08-15-2006, 06:21 PM

The ladies above have said it well.

I work part-time, also, and I can totally relate to your guilt. I'd much rather be at home full-time, but, financially it's not possible.

I will admit, though, that there are days when I enjoy going a few hours without discussing the potty, Dora, or answering a thousand "why" questions. I love my children dearly, but, having adult conversations, not to mention eating meals with adults, is very good for me mentally. Plus by the time I get back home I'm refreshed and ready to go back into kid mode pretty easily.

All that said... I'm not looking forward to going back next week when my maternity leave ends. I know once I get there and we get back into the routine of me working, things will be fine though.

**BarbieH** · 09-02-2006, 08:31 PM

Hi, new friend!

Just my two cents....

I know from over 13 years of being a SAHM.....you CAN leave you child for short periods, and they will get over it! LOL! That is, if THAT is what you really want!

Think about what you REALLY want, and then go for it!

Barb