Is it okay to leave current job?

**pammy** · 06-26-2007, 05:22 PM

If you could, would you? Been debating with myself for a while. Would love some insight from you smart people.

Starting working at my current job in November with the intention of getting debt-free. Okay, so we're there. I've got a lot of reasons to leave it and really one reason to stay.

Reason to stay: Money. I'm part-time, but am looking to make at least 35k this year. It comes with a price, which I'll put below. But basically the only reason I'm still there is it's extra money. I'd like to be able to stay until the house is paid for, but I just can't see myself working there for at least 2 more years.

Reasons to leave: I dread going up there. Some days I hate it, actually. It's physically exhausting, tons of stress, I work odd hours (like in the last week I've worked every hour imagineable, it's tolling on my body), odd hours includes weekends, holidays, being on call.. I'm tied to this place, I work usually opposite hours of my family (childcare is no issue, only child is 18 and almost off to college), have gotten plantar fasciitis in one of my feet and it's agony on busy days, bad environment, no benefits, have developed intestinal issues due to stress, my sleep is horribly out of whack and exhausts me, my back aches on most days (my job includes transfering and helping lift people), do not have the time to do some frugal things around the house (costing money I was 'earning'), some things do not get done around the home and I hate it when my house is messy, some things get left for my poor dh to do, although he works a ton of hours, and then I feel guilty about that... (man, is that enough??)

Basically, if you've read the above (and it's long, I apologize) you know where my heart is heading. And I know we're in a really good position for me to leave this job: we're debt free but the mortgage, we are still able to systematically save to pay full tuition for dd's upcoming college, we are still able to save for maintenance, repairs, insurance and taxes every month, and the mortgage and bills are paid with $700 left over on dh's income. The mortgage is set up to autopay bi-weekly in 12 years on our fixed 15 year mortgage, so I know we'll get it paid early even if I don't work at this job. (we are 36 and 35) Dh gets full benefits which includes insurance on all three of us and is contributing 10% to retirement. We have a full 3 month's expenses saved up in our emergency fund.

Man, writing that out I sound like an idiot, don't I?

What's holding me there?? Fear. Sure. They gave me a chance, trained me and depend on me and I will feel like I will let this hospital down if I leave. But at what cost?? My dh is behind me 100% no matter what I do, and has wondered why I'm still there given the conditions above. What else is holding me there?? That extra money. Gees!!! Is it worth my health?? Uh, no, yet I can't seem to make myself give a notice. What's wrong with me??

So lemme ask you... if you could, would you choose to quit work, even if you don't have little ones at home to tend to?? I mean, be a stay at home wife?? I was good at that for the year I did it before I took this job last November. I enjoyed doing things in the house, keeping things clean, learning new things, challenging myself to save money. My dh liked feeling that he was 'supporting' us, silly but it made him feel more like a man. He enjoyed coming home to a clean house with homecooked meals and a less stressed, haggard wife. Shoot, even if I don't make extra money and am not able to help payday the mortgage earlier, 12 years still isn't bad, is it??

I'm rambling.. If you've made it this far, bless you!! These things just roll around in my head and I feel better if I get them out, even if no one has any advice. Thank you for letting me ramble/vent/and wonder.

**Its_Donna** · 06-26-2007, 05:43 PM

Originally Posted by pammy

If you could, would you?
So lemme ask you... if you could, would you choose to quit work, even if you don't have little ones at home to tend to?? I mean, be a stay at home wife??

Heck yeah.....in a minute!! I want to be a housewife SO BAD!! I have worked since I was 14 y/o. I took 5 years off when my son was born but when he started kindergarten I went back to work, then became a single parent for a while....I'm still working.

I have picked up an easy part-time job on Saturdays so I can help us become debt-free...so my goal is to be debt free in 5-7 years. I told my husband that even if I couldn't be a SAHW then I would work part-time and that's 20 hrs/wk to me. We have even tossed around the idea of moving...Property Taxes and Insurance are very high here so we have tossed around the idea of taking the home equity and moving to somewhere a little more reasonable on the taxes and insurance...then I really could go to SAHW....I think you should do what your heart tells you. Your DH is behind you and that's half the battle won. Life is short......very short....and I am a firm believer in living happily, peacefully and stressfree.

**tink** · 06-26-2007, 05:43 PM

I am right there with you. Although I do have a little one. I am debating this very question, hour to hour. I hope you arrive at your decision soon, and with as little stress as possible. I am having the hardest time with this myself. Keep us posted!

**BeyondFrugal** · 06-26-2007, 06:03 PM

The only thing you owe your employer is two weeks notice.

I stay home. No kids. I like it. It's a never-ending journey of frugal discovery.

The down side is that I don't see many people at all. However, the lonliness is much better than all those hassles that go with holding a job.

My dh is happier. He likes the meals and not having to do any housework.

-Elaine

**nodmicks** · 06-26-2007, 06:30 PM

If your not happy doing it I'd be gone in a minute in your position. Life is too short to let things make us miserable.

**baxjul** · 06-26-2007, 06:46 PM

I just quit my job to stay at home. So, yeah, I would!

**Persimmon Lace** · 06-26-2007, 06:53 PM

One word! YES! I quit my job in October of last year and have just picked up some side jobs that bring in some mad money. Go for it! I don't have any littles at home but I love cooking and feeling good.

**FrugalMomof3** · 06-26-2007, 07:26 PM

I say go ahead and leave your job, seems you have so many cons to the pro's of staying and I have to say that your health is more important. Secondly, you are fine financially so why even work at a job your not happy at? Go for it!

**PrairieRose** · 06-26-2007, 10:20 PM

I owned a couple of small video stores for a few years and other than an odd job for a while here and there (like subbing at school or something like that) this was the only time I was away from home in our 31 yr. marriage. I can tell you from experience that our lives (mine and Gripey's not to mention when we had kids at home) are much more relaxed and serene when I'm home, keeping the home fires burning. I know it's not for everyone and lots of people look at me as if I have 2 heads when they find out that our nest is empty and I stay at home b/c I choose to but I absolutely love being at home. I would leave without a second thought if I were in your position. Heck you could mystery shop for a little extra here and there to throw at the mortgage with a lot less stress. Or just manage the money your dh brings home..... that's mostly what I do.

**Buckeye5** · 06-27-2007, 10:08 AM

Pammy, you need to think about everything you have achieved when you were on one income. You did some amazing things and enjoyed it!! So, if you are not happy at work, I know for sure that you will be able to to save $$$ money on one income again. You were the one who has inspired me...remember me pm' ing you with questions??? Just think how far ahead of the financial game you already are!! My DH likes the hot meals and clean house etc. Plus, whenever he is off or on vacation, whatver, we can go and do or just hang out. My life is better when I am home running the house. If you are miserable.... I wouldn't work, and it is only natural to feel guilty about quiting but you have to follow your heart.

**frugalfriend** · 06-27-2007, 10:24 AM

I say definitely let the job go! If you want to have the extra money, find a part time job doing something you ENJOY! It may not pay as well, but your health, well being and your home are more important, especially since you are in such a good financial place.

**Mom23boys** · 06-27-2007, 11:36 AM

I would say, yes. I would leave it too if you could accomplish the same things on one income that you do on two. I have always wanted to stay home and keep the home fires burning, but it just wasn't possible at the time I went back to work. It was a neccessity for our family. Things are getting better so hopefully within 2 years I may get to do just that.

If DH ever takes that next step up at his employer, I would love to join you. I could probably do it now, but I would not feel comfortable with my choice. We both enjoy knowing our bills are paid, we have an EF, and we are able to afford to take vacations that are paid with cash without having to save for years and years to do it. We have taken one to San Diego so far this year and are taking another to North Carolina next week. In December of last year, DH and I went to Vegas. I honestly don't think we could have done all this in the short time span with just his income, even if I cut every corner imaginable. We would have done it, but maybe years apart.

Ok, enough about why I can't quit. I am just rambling, but if you can live comfortably on just your DH's income, I say go for it!!!

Good luck!

**pammy** · 06-27-2007, 12:21 PM

Thank you all for you well thought out replies. I appreciate them so much.

Guess I know the end of this job is coming, I just am having a hard time feeling like I will let them down. (and yes, I'm one of those people who must please everyone, haha)

Right now we're saving up to go on vacation in August, so I have a goal for that. I might stay until I build up a bit more savings but I don't see me finishing out the year there.

Thank you all again so very, very much. (((hugs)))