Why have you chosen to be childfree?

**bumplett** · 04-28-2009, 10:54 PM

Originally Posted by FrugalWitch

Medical, financial and personal. Some people just plain do not like kids. The older I get the more I dislike being anywhere around them, DH is the same.

We are not bad hateful people. We don't like kids and don't want them. We also do not like or have dogs.

Our 12 rescued stray cats keep us happy!

Dogs & Kids are VERY similar!

and I say this as someone who lives with BOTH species!

:giggle:

**MyMelody** · 05-04-2009, 11:19 PM

^ So it's fair to say that if my life's too busy for a baby dog, it's nowhere near ready for a baby person? LOL

**rowdy35** · 06-03-2009, 04:27 PM

I always thought that I would have children however I did not have them.

I had a *rough* and very lonely childhood. I think my fear was that I would end up being a single mother and I wouldn't be a very good mother either.

I am great with kids, and love kids, but I guess I am a chicken and was too scared to commit to the idea of being a mom. Now that I am older it doesn't scare me as much but I have no plans on having any children either.

The world is overpopulated so I think it's a fine choice for me. If people can't understand my reasoning as to why I did not have kids, I would tell them to open their minds ~ as I understand why people would want to have kids, and I even understand people wanting to have lots of kids (think Duggars).

The only people I discriminate against for having a lot of kids is when they know there is a genetic problem (they have multiple kids with genetic conditions) or if they can't afford to give them a good upbringing with lots of love.

**strezzed** · 06-06-2009, 10:24 PM

Originally Posted by gapeach

My husband and I tried for years to have kids. We decided to skip all the testing and just enjoy life. If it happened it happened. Well I'll be 48 soon and DH will be 50 so we definately don't want them at this age in our lives. We don't feel that we have missed out because of the family kids and friends kids. This way we can do a little bit for all of them when needed. We're both content with the way things have turned out.

This is will be us in the future. We've tried for years but it's taken such a stressful toll on me that we've decided not to worry about it anymore.

**jacqueline** · 06-07-2009, 10:56 AM

I always thought I would have kids when I was younger (also had some fantasy of being married forever too) but after my one marriage (he already had a vasectomy and didn't want any more) I never did find anyone who I trusted enough to raise a kid with. I've seen so many of my friends and people I know go thru divorce or just not do the child raising thing right. So I guess I chose not to have kids--but I'm positively childfree. I get the thing where people say I still have time and it's just not politically correct to explain it to them--they never understand and I've found it's a big waste of my time.
I do get irritated by all the people who think they are such good parents that barely pay attention to their kids.

**Teresa T** · 07-15-2009, 03:53 PM

I chose not to have children because of the childhood I had. Since I've never been married, people don't ask me why too much though.

I have had a small amount of harassement about it though. Rumors about me that I'm gay or still a virgin type crap.

**Jamielane** · 07-15-2009, 04:14 PM

My dh and I did have children but we were together 8 years before we did so. Everyone assumed we wouldnt or couldnt have them. We were just choosing to wait. My oldest daughter has said since she was old enough to have an opinion she didnt want kids. Thats fine with me. She has never cared about babydolls, barbie dolls, playing house, etc. Its just as well anyways because she has a heart condition that will make carrying a child hard and dangerous for her anyways. Maybe its Gods way of protecting her. There is not a maternal bone in her body. My youngest is the opposite . She wants a houseful and mothers all people , children and animals that she possibly can. We have a cousin who is very happily married and he and his wife have made the choice to not have kids. I applaud them . At least they are smart enough to not have them rather then be resentful of them later. I say to each his own .

**Holding Pattern** · 09-13-2009, 10:55 AM

Neither of us wanted kids when we met. DW has vision problems and not being able to drive a child to doctor or school functions presents issues. I have never had the desire, dysfunctional childhood may have had something to do with that.
We also decided/realized early on that we could experience life in a different way.
We just celebrated our 10th anniv. and every year we've had a sit-down to discuss if we're still on the same page. After a string of close friends having their own, we talked about it really hard one year and then decided to get an ATV instead.

**PinkWolf** · 09-19-2009, 03:30 PM

I chose not to have children a long time ago. My family doesn't agree but I tell them I can only do me. Having children is a BIG responsibility. I live in an apartment and the couple upstairs has a spoiled 3 year old girl that cries day in and day out.

Plus my fiance is older then me and he already has 4 grown children and I consider them to be mine as well.

I'm happy right now with just me & my fiance.

**fairydana** · 09-19-2009, 11:21 PM

Because I am bipolar and I dont want to pass it on. I wouldnt be able to live with myself if I did pass it on.

**jlaporte** · 09-19-2009, 11:28 PM

good for you! why have kids? if you know you dont want themand took all the right cautions not to then good for you. it is your choice. i myself NEVER thought id have kids nor did i want them. well my life isnt what i had planned on but the goddess saw a strength in me to toss 3 boys at me. well i stood up to the challenge. i am sorry. do i have regrets hell ya i do. but cant change that. so i move on. but some ppl just are not cut out for it nor should they be aww theres still time or u will change your mind. nope it was ur choice and a good one!

**$Christine$** · 10-14-2009, 01:26 AM

My husband and I got married this past March and are still child-free. We have chosen not to have children until we are both done with school which will be in about 3 years. We have also chosen this because we want to pay off our debt and be financially set to be able to support a child. Babies are expensive!!!! also our parents dont know this but a while back the doctor says theres a small chance I wont be able to have kids so right now with everything going on I dont want to deal with miscarriages or what not..but hopefully one day!

My parents are verry happy with our decision. His mom is constantly making little comments like she wants a grandchild and we need to have one soon and so on. Its quite annoying but whatever. Other people are always telling us we are "suppose" to have children now and why did we get married if we werent going to have kids. But I just say why would I want to have kids if I am not ready mentally and financially to give the child everything they need. So I try to ignore them even though its hard sometimes.

But we are glad we are waiting! Plus we have a dog and he acts like a little kid so we have our hands full!

**craftypam** · 10-14-2009, 09:06 AM

Originally Posted by bumplett

Dogs & Kids are VERY similar!

and I say this as someone who lives with BOTH species!

:giggle:

The difference between kids and dogs (and I've also had both) dogs love you unconditionally!!!!

**Pemberleyan** · 10-14-2009, 09:20 AM

My answer isn't simple. In a way I chose, but in a way, I didn't. It's a long story involving marrying "late," endometriosis and regret. I'll be 47 tomorrow, and knowing I'll never be a mother seems to be becoming more difficult to deal with than it used to be, especially knowing that if my DH had married almost anyone else, he'd have children and his family's name wouldn't end with me.

**Moonface001** · 10-14-2009, 10:10 AM

My DH and I have been married now for almost one year, we are both 25. We have been together for 7.5 years. During this time we have discussed children many many times. Initially because we were young we said sure one day. But in the past 3 or so years I have really felt that I do not want kids, so much so that a few weeks leading to our wedding I had a real heat to heart with my DH and told him that I am leaning towards not having kids, and that if it's something very important to him we should not be getting married. He was honest and said that he just always presumed one day he would have kids, but not because it is what he definately wants but because it is just what you do. He said that he would be fine with us not having kids.

There are a number of reasons why I do not want to have kids. The main one if I am to be totally honest is that I can not be bothered going through all that kids involve. The pregnancy, body changes, birth, dealing with a new born, vomit, nappies, tantrums, childcare, school, health issues, etc. I can really see myself being resentful. I also can not stand noise. I like being by my self in my own little world with out noise. I hate it so much that I often avoid going over to my older sisters house. She has 4 kids who while well behaved, together are noisy. Money is also something that comes up, but I do really believe that children are as expensive as you make them.

My partners side of the family is in total denial that we may not have children. My brother in law said we will be telling eveyone we are expecting 3 months after the wedding. Then the other week he even touched my stomach and said 'is there a baby in there yet?' I was a bit taken a back and straight away just said 'we are not having kids'. Then my mother in law always brings the topic up, that it's our turn soon, that she wants grand children. A little bit has been drilled into her. One of her latest comments that she initially told a friend and then repeated to us was that 'we are not having kids right now because we have it all planned out'. I think she just thinks we are waiting a little while longer but will still have children. Then when I was telling her about some of the heavy things I have to lift at work she had to add 'make sure you get someone to help you lift and carry things up stairs, especially when you get pregnant'. So yeh, she is really hopefull deep inside.

My older sister just says we should wait until we are ready. My mother is perhaps the only person who is accepting. She has asked why but that's about it.