childfree holidays

**chickadee-7815** · 12-22-2010, 04:19 PM

We are a childless [by choice] retired couple. I have never regretted our decision to not have children. However, around this time of year, when everyone is discussing their holiday plans--- what to buy for the grandkids for Christmas, the kids all coming home for the holiday, etc. etc., I find myself feeling a little sad, like we are missing out on something.
Just wondering if anyone else shares this feeling and how you cope with it.

**krbshappy71** · 12-22-2010, 05:27 PM

I'm not in your situation but I wanted to share some thoughts. Years ago a woman who did not have family close by 'adopted' my girls and I for the holidays. The rest of the year she was fairly busy but for the holidays she missed her own family that was grown and gone. She contacted our daycare and asked for a family in need. The daycare gave out our information and suddenly a surprise Easter basket showed up on my doorstep full of surprises and candy for the girls! I WAS SO THRILLED! I was very poor at the time and could not provide such a thing for them. Then the lady called me and asked if I would mind getting to know her.

We went to lunch and for holidays after that, the girls' birthdays, etc. she took us out and gave them gifts, invited them over to bake cookies with her, babysat them occasionally, etc. This went on for a couple of years and then we slowly went our separate ways but I just wanted to throw it out there in case this is something you would consider doing.

It was non-committal, gave her the "little kid time" that she craved, and I enjoyed seeing my girls so happy with the things she did and gave them.

I'm not a "kid person" myself but I see myself doing something similar, even if its anonymous such as The Giving Tree, to help out other families when mine are grown & gone.

**moasmom** · 12-22-2010, 05:30 PM

I have never felt left out or that I was missing something, but I do know there are plenty of opportunities at this time of year to "adopt" children and/or families by providing presents and food. I think that would be a nice way to add to your holiday celebrations.

Or like krbshappy71 suggests, you could go even farther by finding a family to spend time with doing holiday activities. Everyone wins that way.

I hope you can find meaningful ways to add to your holiday this year,
Kara

**JanieD** · 12-22-2010, 05:33 PM

I'm a little younger & childfree, but usually see it as a positive thing. I'm not stressed out trying to make the perfect holiday for the kids. I'm not running around looking for their must have present & such.

We do spend holidays w/family that have kids, but I really wouldn't mind a quiet holiday at home once in awhile. Can't say that I really feel like I'm missing out. Have you considered doing things that would get you more involved like Christmas programs or "adopting" a family during the holidays if you feel like something is missing? Just a thought. I really hope you have a wonderful holiday.

**grneyegrl** · 12-22-2010, 11:11 PM

nope i have 4 little kids in the family and their parents are more than happy to let me take them.. they get a break and i get time with my fav little people.

**marjorie** · 12-22-2010, 11:20 PM

I "borrow" kids when the urge hits, but I also am blessed with a resident grandchild. He's 9 now, and I do sometimes go to the neighbor's house for a baby fix. Their little one is probably about 6 months old. I sometimes buy him a toy or outfit. The parents appreciate what I do, and I appreciate knowing nothing is expected.

**The Muse** · 12-23-2010, 02:43 AM

I'm CFBC and enjoy my freedom to do as I please at the holidays. I've never craved the feeling of "tiny tots with their eyes all aglow" or felt that I was missing out by going to the ends of the earth to score this year's impossible to find gift.

**LuLuBleen** · 12-23-2010, 12:03 PM

I find myself feeling a little sad, like we are missing out on something. Just wondering if anyone else shares this feeling and how you cope with it.

Nope. Not even a little bit. I grew up in a chaotic household where holidays were stuffed full of loud children and adults. I ADORE having peace in my own home.

I'm CFBC and enjoy my freedom to do as I please at the holidays. I've never craved the feeling of "tiny tots with their eyes all aglow" or felt that I was missing out by going to the ends of the earth to score this year's impossible to find gift.

This, exactly. A thousand times this.

**madhen** · 12-23-2010, 12:08 PM

I live alone, no kids, and I love it. I have never regretted my decision, even though I know it means that the only one who will carry on the family genes, on my dad's side of the family is my nephew, about whom I have my doubts.

But I know what you mean in terms of gift-giving. I see a lot of cute things for kids, and sometimes I wish I knew and liked a kid well enough to give him/her some of them. My problem is, once I know a kid well enough, I don't usually like him much!

**chickadee-7815** · 12-23-2010, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by madhen

I live alone, no kids, and I love it. I have never regretted my decision, even though I know it means that the only one who will carry on the family genes, on my dad's side of the family is my nephew, about whom I have my doubts.

But I know what you mean in terms of gift-giving. I see a lot of cute things for kids, and sometimes I wish I knew and liked a kid well enough to give him/her some of them. My problem is, once I know a kid well enough, I don't usually like him much!

Thanks, madhen, that last sentence is so true, and made me laugh.