Need xmas advice

[northernmom2boys]

I know its early to start talking about xmas but I need advice
Every year we (or I ) but gifts for my dh's nieces and nephew.The ones on my side are older dso I buy for my nieces little boy .
Ok this year with me being pg(will be 8 months at xmas)and all the stuff we have to buy for the baby and xmas for my 2 boys,has decided that I am only buying gifts for my kids and thats its.
Every year I kill myself looking for gifts and the look of dissapointment on the relatives faces makes you want to scream.
Ive had it no more lol
These kids dont want little cheap gifts and we cannot afford that anymore.

How do I tell dhs sisters that we are not buying for the kids and that they are not excpected to buy for ours?
I need to know how in a way that doesnt sound like Im being a scrooge
HELPPPPPP!!!!
PS.I enjoy buying for my neices son cause hes 2 and my niece does not excpect huge gifts and that thank yous come and come afterwards

[perSue]

I'd just call up your sis-in-laws and say "look, I feel really badly saying this, but because of the economy and our new baby on the way, we'll be tight this year around the holidays. Would you mind this year that we didnt trade gifts for the nieces/nephews?"

MOST people, even some of the more "spendier" types understand a baby takes a LOT of preparation....

and if they're unaccepting of it... just say 'thanks', hang up & talk to your dh.
they are HIS sisters, yeah?? So ask him to deal with it.
He can be tactless (moreso) because it's his (first) family... and say what you two really mean. lol

If he can't/won't do it... that's fine.
But when the holidays come 'round... DON'T give into temptation.

If all else fails... talk to the kids, if you can. Explain "babies are expensive and this year we have to prepare for new baby."

Kids are always understanding. Sure a little disappointed... but they understand that "sometimes adults have more important things."

And come xmas, they'll probly forget all about it... and may even inquire as to your baby.

good luck! ((((((hugs))))))

[Lady_V]

How old are the nieces and nephews? There is nothing more frustrating that knowing you spent money on a gift for ungrateful people.

One of DD's favorite homemade gifts was...

1 $5 Blockbuster gift card
1 bucket of microwave popcorn (sold at BB $1)
4 boxes/bags of candy

$10 total... but what kid doesn't like popcorn, candy & movies/games?

I can understand not wanting/being able to spend the extra money on them, especially if they don't appreciate it...

[cheapskate 49]

I think you have to say something,maybe bring it up when dh is present so your SIL knows it's not just your idea.You could do the cookie thing or just get small gifts-for my nephews this year I am making drawstring bags and I'll fill them with Canada stickers,tatoos etc(they're in Scotland)
Sometimes we think we are offending folk when we do the no gift thing but I'll bet they will be as relieved as you to put a halt to it.I think we do get too carried away buying gifts.

[northernmom2boys]

thank you all for the suggestions
If they were not such spoiled children then a 10 $ each gift would be easy but they have EVERYTHING in the world
I dont have the energy now to make homemade gifts so Im pretty sure by Nov Dec I will have less lol
I am going to talk it over with dh and he can tell them

[anna021]

I would say have a discussion with those involved, when I made that suggestion to our family I was so surprised how happy everyone was. Everyone was thinking it but know one wanted to be the person to bring it up. I became the hero, lol, now... we get together, bring some food and enjoy each others company, no stress about gifts, and who got what, and who didn't. So much nicer. Wish I had opened my mouth earlier.

[LexTysMommy]

Maybe you can exchange names? instead of buying for them all, have kids exchange names and set a limit ( $10 ) and then the kids can shop for who ever they picked?

If not I think if they cannot understand when you tell them that you are not going to be able to afford it this year, then maybe its better off not wasting your money anyway? kwim?

good luck!

[LeeCee]

I know exactly how you feel.My husbands whole family is like that and it seems more and more people (adults and children) are so ungrateful today.I would love to see a whole new thread on that because I know I'm not the only one who has experienced this.I agree with lady v about a five dollar gift card to blockbuster they could get a game or movie.Also five dollar gift cards to mcdonalds etc.

[momof2joys]

My friend is in the same position. Her baby is due right before x-mas, so she has already told everyone that since the baby is going to be born, that they just won't be able to afford it this year!!! She also said that she isn't expecting any gifts for her 2 year or her and her spouse!!

I do think that drawing names would be a good idea though.

[northernmom2boys]

we tried the name thing a couple of years ago and some people stuck to it and some didnt
I just dont want the hassle of shopping all together
Its enough I have 2 of my own to shop for '
thank you all for suggestions

[FrugalWitch]

I would go for the draw a name with a firm $10 or $20 limit. JMHO

[DmPatton]

I'm so sad I wrote this LONG LONG reply and it earsed!! BLAHHH anyways I will respond maybe tomaroow!

[Libby]

I would suggest just telling her flat out that your family will be unable to particiapate in the gift exchange portion this year and ask closer to the date what time the gift exchange portion will be taking place so you and your family can arrive after it to avoid the hissy fits from the ungrateful recipients.

AND/OR

Just explain to her that you, frankly, can not take any more rejection from the kids (not her) about the gifts received and go on some rant about how Christmas is about family time and the joys of being to receive any gift(s) let alone those who 'expect' a certain type of gift.

Flat out say you will not get caught up in the 'mass markting' ploy this year and that you're taking a firm stance. Christmas is about the experience and quality time spent with friends and family NOT the material gifts in which one receives.

Thats my take on this. I've already told friends that I do not want to exchange gifts, just come for a pot luck gathering.

[Guest57]

I think that gifts are so overrated...and Who's birthday is it, anyway? I have 2 sisters, and last year, their kids told me what they wanted. I didn't get so much as a 'BOO' from any of them, not to mention I had to call my sisters to see if they got the gifts!! (I make baby clothes for a living and I made them sleep pants and travel blankets in their favorite character prints!)... This year, they each get a $10.00 bill and my logic is this: You are not their parent, therefore, you are not supposed to 'MAKE THEIR CHRISTMAS'..that is up to their parents. You giving a gift is supposed to be more like a token of affection to celebrate a very special day!

[memoe]

I keep trying to do the same thing with gifts. I ask family to get my son stuff if they absolutely have to but not for me. I can't afford store bought stuff so I make handmade stuff and if they don't like it I'm sorry, it's the thought that counts.