Christmas/Holidays at the Office

[perSue]

So for those of you who are working where your employer does a Christmas/Holiday gift exchange... what do you do?

We're all concerned with our budgets at home - now many of us are expected to shell out a little more for coworkers, bosses, etc.

With "draw a name" or "potlucks" or "everyone pitches in" and all the other different types of gift exchanges, there's a subtle hint of obligation.

Do you participate?
If not, how do you bow out of this?
Is your employer not making these expectations this year?
What are your thoughts?

[LastDragonfly]

I would bow out and say you had a conflicting commitment.

I know that my dh's work cancelled their Christmas party this year due to the fact that 20 have been laid off and another 20/30 will be notified any time now.

[Thrifty Mom]

We had our office party today. ( Just our department) It was totally voluntary & two people did not participate. One doesn't celebrate Christmas & the other bowed out for financial reasons. We had a pot luck. Everyone signed up for what they wanted to bring, so they could bring as large or as small as they wanted. I try to sign up for the main dish since that's usually the more expensive. Today I did sloppy joes. Usually I try to do shredded beef or pork, but I didn't plan well. Anyway our gift exchange was $20.00. We had a wish list so people could list what they might like. I think we all look forward to getting a gift from someone who actually knows us & spends time with us. I always have a gift for each member of my staff. I wouldn't have it any other way. They are very special & very important to me.

[madhen]

My office does a pot-luck and $10 gift exchange every year. In, oh, fifteen years, I have yet to attend one. I used to have an office mate who was Jewish, so we would say that it was offensive to her (it wasn't), and she I would go out to lunch. Now I just say I am not going to attending. There was a little subtle, oh, come one, everyone is going to be there, pressure at first, but now they know I am serious. On the other hand, I also don't avail myself of any of the food that is brought in for the potluck, even after lunch is over and the leftovers are left out for anyone who wants some. If I am feeling generous, I sometimes bring something to contribute (usually a cookie tray), but I still don't sign up or attend. Just not my thing.

I am very often on leave when the party is planned, as I typically take Christmas week off, but not always. For example, this year, it is the week before.

[beks37]

This time of year is always "money hungry" at my work. So first, someone's last day was today and we went to Abuelo's and pitched in $1.00 for the outgoing coworker. Then last week, we had two birthdays and they wanted us to pitch in for cake and ice cream. I didn't participate. Now, they want to decorate the department and want us to pitch in for matching decorations. They asked me to buy it since I have a Sam's card.....blah. I said I would need the cash first. I already put up my cubicle decorations, I don't need new ones. Now, this week is secret santa week....$25.00 limit...one gift each day. Most people go over on the budgets, or though it seems...so when I stick to the budget, my presents look small and measley. Then we are expected to bring a potluck dish for our party on Friday.....

As I said....Money Hungry!!!! I'm afraid if I didn't participate, I'd be chastised by my peers.

[Grayce]

The hospital I work at has a big staff party that you have to buy tickets for. I don't attend that. the nurses on my unit have a party we arrange ourselves. We go out to a restaurant and each pays for their own meal and we draw names and do a gift exchange with a $20 limit.

[savvymom]

You should never feel obligated to participate if you aren't comfortable with the party or gift exchange. You can politely say thank you for asking me to contribute/bring something/draw a name (whatever), but I am not interested in participating. You are not required to explain yourself, you are only required to do your job...that is why they pay you after all.

Good luck!

[patticakes]

Since I am in a self-employed atmosphere, part of our monthly expenses is a no-way-to-back-out-expense of $5.00 called "A Sunshine Fund" that goes towards flowers, picnics, potlucks(big items/meat-drinks-dinnerware) and Christmas party (even though rumor has it the main company contributes money towards the party, the amount changes with the market). Most years there is an extra expense for the guest/spouse. Over the years, the price has been $15-$40 for the guest depending on the venue expense. This year it is $20 for a prime rib, salmon, chicken buffet being held at a local wine bistro that just expanded to catering this month.

The office does a secret santa on a volunteer basis. Of course not everyone participates. When it's a pink elephant there is close to 100% participation since many of us are twisted.

Hubby's office has have a horrible track record for Christmas party for the part years --- winter storm that took out power for two days leading up to the party and the day of, last year office merges took away any enthusiasm for a party and this year he is combining the Christmas party with an employee's milestone birthday and going to a popular kids's pizza place & providing tokens(brithday gal isn't aware of it but everyone else in the office knows and they are giddy with excitement for the event).

I figure that most of the people in the office are having financial troubles (many don't want to admit it) and the manager is sensitive to that fact and acting accordingly.

[Kaos Kitty]

My work Christmas party is a free dinner out, so I am going. It's a small group of people I actually like - so I am giving my co-workers personalized cookies as gifts.

But I agree, in other job situations I have always hated the pumping and expectation to donate money for this or that person or exchange secret Santa gifts with someone I don't really know. If I wanted to give them a present - I would. It's not festive, it's stressful. Spending money I don't want to, getting crap I don't need.

[TheRootedNomad]

We do a Christmas Party that has free dinner. It's at a bar where even the soda is expensive. There is definate pressure to attend. Ours already happened this year and I've made the decision that it is my last one until the administration changes. Big hububs were made over only certain people instead of recognition of people who had truely went above and beyond.

Then we have Secret Santa as well. I've participated only once and was not all that impressed with it. It was simply one more thing to take up time and money during a season I want to be spending time sitting at home with my kids watching the tree lights twinkle at it. I get asked repeatedly but have found the time answer to be much more effective than the money one (and its truthful as well). When you say you don't have the extra money this year most people say "oh it's only a few bucks", or "you could make your gifts", or so on. There is not really much of a response to not wanting to add any more to your to do list except " oh I understand" or sometimes that funky confused look people get when they are taken off guard.

Then there is the boss. There are only 3 of us that work under her. I've already been approached. I will go on and chip in on that one because I'd end up feeling the heel if I didn't.


Now for DH it's a little different and quite frankly ridiculous. All the guys get a very small bonus at Christmas. Some of the guys will probably get about $50. Then everyone is expected to kick in $30 to $40 to get the bosses and the secratary something. Then in addition the service guys kick in an additional $25 each for the service boss. Ummmm so the bonus is so they can participate in giving the bosses gifts???? I don't know how the system was created but it blows.

[Dancing Lotus]

I have conflicted feelings. I wish we could have get togethers that didn't involve gifts.

I love a pot luck or some sort of event the company sponsors but I don't want to feel as if I have to bring a gift to my boss, supervisor, co-worker and so on. Every dollar I spend on those gifts takes a dollar away from my Child's gifts. It's not about greed ,it's just simple economics.

At Dillard's the Christmas party is not so much a Holiday party as it is a company meeting. We used to laugh at the stupid pep talk we would give us about sales. To win prizes you had to answer questions about the company. And all the prizes we got were promotional items with the Dillard name on it.

I think if you don't want to go you should say that you can't not attend due to another obligation.

[Dancing Lotus]

Now for DH it's a little different and quite frankly ridiculous. All the guys get a very small bonus at Christmas. Some of the guys will probably get about $50. Then everyone is expected to kick in $30 to $40 to get the bosses and the secratary something. Then in addition the service guys kick in an additional $25 each for the service boss. Ummmm so the bonus is so they can participate in giving the bosses gifts???? I don't know how the system was created but it blows.

We have had this one before, it's ridiculous.

We also had one where no one was given a bonus. They had a tree with envelopes on it and you had to pick an envelope. Some had cash some had gift cards. But there weren't enough envelopes for everyone. COME ON, just give them a bonus already. That's all anybody wants.

[lmbaker520]

I have really struggled with the whole point of the bosses gifts this year. The expectations of what you are supposed to contribute to our bosses has gradually increased for the past two years. This year the combined request for contributions for my two bosses was $60 which I think is outrageous. They then do a potluck where you are also asked to bring something in. Thankfully we don't do gifts for each other.

I struggle with this because this is not part of your job requirement, but on the other hand you don't want to be the only person that doesn't contribute something. My bosses would know and then it would just be uncomfortable. With the way that the workplace is now, I feel like I have to stay in good with them so that I can keep my job if things get tight. I know that it shouldn't be based on this but you have to do what you have to do.

I find that the people that push for these extravagent gifts are the ones that are not tight with money at all (or at least they put on that front). I have expressed concern on the amount and they just blow it off.

[annymoll]

We do a catered Christams dinner for the f-home, and at the office.Usually I try to give each employee a cookie tray,my sister and daughter will help me make the treats. We give Christmas bonuses. Now the fun thing is, the employees do a White Elephant for DH. Everyone brings the most awful gift they can think of.Last year we got a matching set of plaster owl lamps, they were huge and weighed a ton. (Found at a garage sale, and the story was that the former owner was teary parting with the lamps)WTH? The Goodwill didn't even want them!! It was a "hoot", so to speak!I enjoy Christmas. When I worked outside the home it could get expensive.It was also time consuming. I had to pick and choose the activities I participated in.I just did what I wanted to do, and if people fussed, they did it behind my back.LOL

[TheRootedNomad]

Oh I love the white elephant gift idea. I think the boss would most definately have to have a very cool sense of humor to make it fun. Sounds as if your DH does. How awesome for your employees.